Dreading the Chaos of Thanksgiving? 3 Simple Steps to Stay Grounded

Thanksgiving is here, and while it’s meant to be a joyful time, it can feel anything but. Being out of your comfort zone—whether it’s traveling, facing family pressures, or managing expectations—can turn the holiday into a breeding ground for anxiety. The good news? It doesn’t have to.

You don’t need to let anxiety steal the joy this season has to offer. Here’s how to navigate common triggers with calm, confidence, and flexibility.

Step 1: Acceptance

Anxiety often shows up with a long list of “rules”:

• “You can’t handle this if you’re not in control.”

• “What if something goes wrong?”

• “You need to do everything perfectly.”

Start by acknowledging the anxiety when it shows up. Instead of fighting it, try saying:

• “Here’s anxiety, telling me I need to control everything.”

• “I don’t have to like this feeling, but I can let it be here.”

When you accept that anxiety may show up, you free yourself from its grip. It’s just a feeling—it doesn’t have to define your experience.

Step 2: Reframe

Anxiety likes to tell you that unless you control everything, you won’t be okay. That’s simply not true. You can handle discomfort, even when things don’t go perfectly.

Try reframing anxious thoughts:

• Instead of: “I need everything to be perfect.”
  Try: “Connection matters more than perfection.”

• Instead of: “What if something goes wrong?”
  Try: “I may not control everything, but I can handle it.”

Flexibility isn’t a failure—it’s an opportunity to focus on what truly matters: connection, joy, and the moments that make Thanksgiving meaningful.

Step 3: Challenge Yourself in Small Ways

Anxiety often convinces us that we need to follow its rules 100% or risk falling apart. But the truth? You don’t have to choose between “all or nothing.” Growth happens in small, manageable steps.

Ask yourself:

• “Where can I challenge anxiety, even in the slightest way?”

• “What’s one small step I can take to push back against anxiety’s grip?”

For example:

• If you feel pressure to make everything perfect, delegate one task—even if it means things might get messy.

• If germs are a concern, try taking precautions without following every anxious ritual.

• If family dynamics feel overwhelming, commit to staying present for just one moment at a time.

Each time you challenge anxiety’s rules, you build confidence. Can you imagine how it would feel to go against anxiety’s grip and see that everything turns out just fine?

Remember This

Anxiety loves to convince you that you can’t handle things unless you’re in control. But you are capable. You may not control every aspect of Thanksgiving, but you can handle whatever comes your way.

This holiday, it’s not about eliminating anxiety—it’s about showing up anyway. Each small step away from anxiety’s rules is a step toward freedom and joy.

You’ve got this. Anxiety may try to call the shots, but you have the power to push back. This Thanksgiving, embrace flexibility, let go of control, and focus on creating memories.

Final Thoughts

Imagine sitting at the Thanksgiving table feeling calm and connected. No overthinking, no spiraling—just being in the moment. That’s the holiday you deserve, and it’s within your reach.

Take it one step at a time, and remind yourself: “I may not control everything, but I can handle it.”

Anticipation Anxiety Explained: Why It Happens and What You Can Do

That overwhelming feeling of dread that creeps in days or even weeks before something important—it's called anticipation anxiety. Unlike typical pre-event nerves, anticipation anxiety can feel like a mental tug-of-war, making you question your plans, consider backing out, and lose precious sleep. It’s the kind of worry that can gnaw at you and cast a shadow on even the most exciting occasions.

Understanding Anticipation Anxiety

Anticipation anxiety isn’t just about being nervous—it’s the anxious buildup that happens when we fixate on upcoming situations, like travel, presentations, or even doctor visits. The mind starts playing out “what if” scenarios, almost like watching a horror movie in your head. The details can become so vivid and consuming that you’re left feeling drained before the event even happens. This cycle can be hard to break, especially without clear guidance on how to disrupt it.

The Science Behind Anticipation Anxiety

Why does the brain fixate on worst-case scenarios? It’s part of our brain’s survival programming. In the past, this instinct helped keep us safe from threats. But now, even modern-day events—like taking a flight or speaking in front of a crowd—can set off that same response. Our Calm Before Takeoff Workshop dives into how this response shapes our thoughts and offers strategies to counter it.

When you anticipate a stressful situation, your brain signals that you’re in “danger” mode, flooding your body with energy to prepare for action. Even just thinking about a big trip or public speaking can activate this response, convincing you that you shouldn’t do it. And because our minds are naturally inclined to notice patterns, the more often you feel anxious about something, the faster your brain is to react the next time.

Can You Treat Anticipation Anxiety? Absolutely!

Good news: anticipation anxiety isn’t a disorder—it’s a pattern. And patterns can be changed. Evidence-based therapies like ERP, CBT, and ACT offer powerful ways to disrupt this cycle. Our workshop walks anxious flyers through techniques inspired by these therapies to help you start reducing anxiety.

• Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP): By gradually facing the fears that trigger your anxiety, ERP helps you learn that the worst-case scenario rarely happens.

• Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT): ACT encourages you to get a little distance from anxious thoughts, helping you learn to “thank” your mind when it sends scary signals.

• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): CBT helps you examine whether your worst-case thoughts are as realistic as they feel.

  In our workshop, we teach students how to practice techniques like these to help you stay grounded, even when anxiety kicks in.

How to Handle Anticipation Anxiety Right Now

When your mind starts racing through worst-case scenarios, mindfulness and self-compassion can bring you back to the present. Mindfulness keeps you focused on the here and now, helping you step away from the horror story playing in your head. Practicing mindfulness can train your brain to recognize when it’s spiraling and bring you back to reality.

Relaxation techniques can ease physical symptoms, like a racing heart or tense muscles. Though they don’t eliminate anxiety, they make the physical sensations less overwhelming, helping you stay calm.

Reframe Your Thoughts: When you catch yourself telling the scary story, try to remind yourself: “This is just a story. It’s not reality.”

Setting Realistic Goals and Expectations

Even with all these strategies, it’s natural to feel some anxiety. Managing anticipation anxiety is about progresOur workshopction. Each time you practice a skill or shift your mindset, you’re building resilience. Our Calm Before Takeoff workshop will help you practice specific strategies to manage the dreaded “what ifs” so you can stay committed to your plans without letting anxiety take over.

Moving Forward

Anticipation anxiety is manageable, and there’s a path to a calmer, more peaceful experience. Therapists trained in CBT, ACT, and ERP, like those at State of Mind Therapy, can guide you through this journey, offering tailored support and effective tools.

If you’re ready to start feeling more in control of your mind before big events, join me in my upcoming Calm Before Takeoff workshop. Together, we’ll cover the step-by-step strategies to tackle your anticipation anxiety and make even the scariest “what if” thoughts easier to manage.

Ready to Crush Anticipation Anxiety Before Your Next Flight?

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The Secret to a Calm Flight Starts Weeks Before You Take Off

Days and weeks before your flight can leave you in a “zombie” state, feeling completely consumed by worry. Feeling zapped of all your energy and unable to think about anything else is something I hear all the time from anxious flyers.

But here’s something you might not know: managing flight anxiety doesn’t begin when you step on the plane. The key to a calm flight starts much earlier. It all comes down to the work you put in during the days and weeks leading up to your trip.

The Power of Mindset Preparation

The good news? Feeling calm on flight day doesn’t have to be a last-minute scramble. By preparing your mind now, you can create the foundation for a smoother, more confident experience when the big day comes.

How Mindfulness Can Help

One of the most impactful ways to do this is through mindfulness. Mindfulness isn’t about trying to change or stop your thoughts—it’s about practicing how to come back to the present moment when your mind drifts to worried thoughts.

When we’re anxious, it’s easy to get stuck in spirals of “what if” scenarios. Mindfulness helps you gently guide your attention back to the here and now, creating a sense of calm and space between you and those anxious thoughts.

Try This Simple Mindfulness Practice

Here’s something you can try today: Set aside five minutes to sit quietly and focus on your breathing. When your mind drifts to worried thoughts (and it will), gently bring your attention back to what’s around you—what can you see, hear, and feel in this moment? This simple practice can calm your mind and help you stay more grounded.

When I work with fearful flyers in my programs, we often focus on skills for coming back to the present moment, and mindfulness is on of my favorite. It’s incredible to see how practicing this over time helps reduce worry and build confidence leading up to a flight.

What about you?

Have you tried using mindfulness to ease your pre-flight anxiety? Or is there something else that helps you feel more grounded? I’d love to hear what’s worked for you—drop your reply in the comments and let me know!

Remember, you can start managing your anxiety weeks before your flight by gently returning to the present moment whenever your mind drifts into worry. By practicing this now, you’ll make more mental space for calm and confidence on flight day.

You’ve got this!

If you need more help with flying anxiety,  Grab the Free Flight Anxiety Toolkit for my top 12 tips here for more ease on your next flight.

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From Overwhelmed to Hopeful: The Power of One Word

Anxiety can make you feel stuck, as if you're trapped in a cycle of worrying thoughts or avoidance behaviors that you just can’t break. Whether it's avoiding flying, feeling overwhelmed by emotions, or struggling to make decisions, these patterns of anxiety can feel like they're carved in stone.

But here’s the good news: there’s a simple, powerful tool that can help you shift your mindset and see the possibility for growth, even when change feels impossible. And that tool, my friend, is the word “yet.”

The Power of Yet is simple but oh, so powerful. Instead of saying, “I’m not good at handling my anxiety,” try saying, “I’m not good at handling my anxiety yet.” That one little word opens the door to progress. It’s a reminder that just because you’re not where you want to be today doesn’t mean you’ll never get there. You are on your way, and it’s important to recognize that.

Feeling Stuck Is Part of the Process

If you’ve ever felt stuck in your anxiety, you’re not alone. In fact, it’s a normal part of the process. So many of my clients share these same struggles:

• “I’m not good at handling my emotions.”

• “I can’t deal with turbulence.”

• “I don’t like flying and I’ll never be able to enjoy it.”

• “I’m not good at sitting with discomfort.”

• “I’m not confident in my ability to make decisions.”

• “I can’t say no to OCD.”

These thoughts are rooted in fear and doubt. And while they feel heavy, they’re not permanent. The word “yet” adds a sense of possibility. It’s a small but powerful reminder that you are capable of growth.

Shifting From Fixed to Growth Mindset

When you embrace the Power of Yet, you make room for growth—no matter where you are in your journey. Instead of being stuck in the mindset of “I can’t,” you can shift to “I can’t yet.” This subtle change helps you approach challenges with more patience, knowing that skills take time to develop.

Here’s how you can reframe common anxiety-related thoughts using the Power of Yet:

• Instead of: "I’m not good at handling my emotions."
  Try: "I’m not good at handling my emotions yet, but I’m working on building that skill every day."

• Instead of: "I’ll never be able to relax during a flight."
  Try: "I haven’t been able to relax during a flight yet, but I’m taking steps toward feeling more comfortable."

• Instead of: "I can’t handle turbulence."
  Try: "I can’t handle turbulence yet, but I’m learning tools to manage my fear."

• Instead of: "I’m not good at sitting with discomfort."
  Try: "I’m not good at sitting with discomfort yet, but I know I can build that muscle over time."

• Instead of: "I don’t trust myself to make decisions."
  Try: "I’m not confident in my decision-making yet, but I’m working on trusting my judgment."

• Instead of: "I can’t say no to OCD."
  Try: "I haven’t been able to say no to OCD yet, but I’m learning how to resist compulsions and sit with discomfort."

Practical Strategy: Create a Daily Affirmation Practice

Now that you understand the power of yet, it’s time to start using it in your daily life. I get it, this likely isn’t a mindset that comes naturally. It takes practice and intentionality to make the shift—but that’s where daily practice can make all the difference.

Here’s how you can create a simple daily affirmation practice to build the Power of Yet into your routine:

1. Identify areas where you feel stuck: Write down the thoughts that make you feel like you’re not making progress, such as "I can’t manage my anxiety."

2. Add 'yet': Reframe each thought by adding "yet" to the end. For example, "I can’t manage my anxiety yet, but I’m learning strategies to cope."

3. Repeat: Say these new statements out loud every day, preferably in the morning, to start your day with a growth-oriented mindset. Or, record yourself reading them and listen while you go about your day.

4. Track your progress: Over time, notice how your thinking shifts. Even small changes are signs of growth.

Reflective Questions: Embrace the Possibility of Growth

Incorporating the Power of Yet into your life can make a huge difference in how you approach challenges. But it’s also important to take time to reflect on where you might be holding yourself back. Consider these questions to keep you moving forward:

• In what areas of your life do you feel stuck?

• How might adding the word “yet” to your thoughts create a new sense of possibility for you?

• What’s one area where you’ve already made progress, even if it feels small?

• How can you be more patient with yourself as you work toward your goals?

Conclusion

Feeling stuck is a normal part of working through anxiety, but it doesn’t mean you’re destined to stay there. The Power of Yet reminds you that you are capable of change, even when it feels like you’re not. By shifting your language and mindset, you open the door to growth, possibility, and a more compassionate relationship with yourself.

Remember, progress takes time. Be patient with yourself, and keep adding "yet" to your journey.

Ready to work with an anxiety therapist?

State of Mind Therapy in Bloomington can help. Click the button below to sign-up for your free 15 minute phone consultation today.

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How to Talk Back to Your Flight Anxiety

When anxiety shows up before or during a flight, it can feel overwhelming. It’s like that annoying relative who won’t stop giving you advice that you never asked for.

But guess what?

You don’t have to listen!

Talking back to your flight anxiety is one of the most effective ways to take control and feel empowered. By challenging the anxious thoughts, you remind your mind who’s really in charge—you!

Here are 15 powerful things you can say to talk back to your anxiety and regain control:

15 Ways Talk Back to Flight Anxiety

• "Hey, anxiety, I’m not falling for your tricks today!"
  Anxiety loves to tell you that something is wrong, but you know better. This phrase lets your mind know that you’re not buying into the fear.

• "You can’t stop me—I’m stronger than you think!"
  Remind yourself that you’ve faced challenges before, and you’ve made it through. Anxiety may show up, but it doesn’t have the final say.

• "I’ve flown before, and I can do it again."
  You’ve already proven you can handle flying, and this time is no different. Use this to remind yourself of past successes.

• "Nice try, anxiety, but I’m still going on this adventure!"
  Anxiety tries to convince you to back out, but you’ve got a trip to enjoy! This phrase empowers you to stay excited about your journey.

• "I’m the boss here, not you!"
  Put anxiety in its place. You’re the one making the decisions, not your fears.

• "Feeling nervous? That’s okay, but I’m in charge now."
  Acknowledge that feeling anxious is normal, but you’re still in control of what happens next.

• "I know you’re just trying to scare me, but I won’t listen."
  Anxiety often tries to frighten you, but you don’t have to give in. This phrase helps you create some distance between your feelings and your actions.

• "You can’t keep me from having fun!"
  Remind yourself that you’re flying for a reason—whether it’s an exciting trip or seeing loved ones. Anxiety won’t take that away from you.

• "I see what you’re doing, but I’m not afraid of you."
  By calling out your anxiety, you take away its power. You can acknowledge its presence without letting it control you.

• "I’ve got my deep breaths ready—watch me stay calm!"
  You’ve got tools, like deep breathing, to help you manage. Remind yourself that you’re prepared to handle the situation.

• "You’re just a feeling, and feelings don’t control me!"
  Feelings come and go, but they don’t have the power to dictate your actions. You’re stronger than that.

• "You can show up, but I’m still getting on this plane."
  Anxiety may tag along, but you’re still following through with your plans. You don’t need to feel 100% calm to take action.

• "Nope, anxiety, you’re not winning today!"
  Sometimes, the best way to handle anxiety is with a firm “no.” This statement reinforces your decision to move forward.

• "I’m brave enough to fly, even if you try to stop me."
  Courage isn’t the absence of fear—it’s acting even when fear is present. Remind yourself that you’re brave enough to do this.

• "I’ve got all the tools I need, so back off, anxiety!"
  You’re equipped with skills like deep breathing and grounding techniques. You’ve got this under control.

Final Thoughts: When anxiety shows up, it doesn’t get to decide how your flight goes—you do. Talking back to your anxiety is a powerful way to take charge and remind yourself of your own strength. Whether you’re at the gate, mid-flight, or dealing with pre-flight nerves, these phrases can help shift your mindset and keep you grounded (hopefully not literally grounded, because I want you in the air!).

You’ve got this!

If you need more help with flying anxiety,  Grab the Free Flight Anxiety Toolkit for my top 12 tips here for more ease on your next flight.

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How to Manage Anxiety When You’re Afraid of Flying

Flying can feel overwhelming, especially if you struggle with flight anxiety. You’re not alone—so many people face the same fear. Whether it’s the thought of being trapped in the air, turbulence, or worrying about things going wrong, your mind tends to latch onto worst-case scenarios.

But here’s the thing: while flying may trigger your anxiety, it doesn’t have to be something you dread or stop you from traveling all together.

Here are four powerful strategies to help you manage your fear of flying, so you can get on that plane with more confidence and less panic:

1. Remember: Thoughts Are Not Facts

When you’re anxious, your mind can be filled with “what ifs” and worst-case scenarios—“What if I panic mid-flight? What if the plane isn’t safe?” While these thoughts can feel very real, they are just thoughts. They aren’t facts, and they don’t predict the future.

Example:
You’re sitting at the gate, and the thought crosses your mind: “What if there’s turbulence?” Or “what if I have a panic attack and I lose control?” Recognize that this is just your anxiety speaking. Acknowledge the thought without judgment—"Okay, I’m having this thought, but it doesn’t mean it’s going to happen." You can choose not to engage with it or let it dictate your experience.

Quick Tip:
Whenever an anxious thought pops up, practice saying, “This is just a thought, not a fact.” Over time, this practice helps you take the power away from those thoughts.

2. Allow Yourself to Be Uncomfortable

One of the hardest things about flying anxiety is the constant need to feel comfortable and in control. But the truth is, the more you strive for comfort, the more anxious you become. Real relief comes when you let yourself be okay with discomfort.

Example:
Turbulence hits, and your heart starts racing. You immediately feel the urge to tighten your grip on the armrests or control your surroundings. Instead, try this: say to yourself, “It’s okay to feel uncomfortable right now. I can handle these feelings.” 

Quick Tip:
Practice allowing the discomfort to exist without trying to get rid of it. The more you practice sitting with the anxiety, the less power it holds over you.

3. Focus on What You Can Control

When you’re anxious about flying, it’s easy to focus on things beyond your control—like the weather, turbulence, or what’s happening in the cockpit. But this only fuels your anxiety. Instead, shift your focus to the things you can control.

Example:
You can’t control the weather or the movements of the plane, but you can control how you prepare for the flight. Create a calming playlist, bring a good book, or practice deep breathing exercises during takeoff. These small actions can make a big difference in how you feel during the flight.

Quick Tip:
Ask yourself, “What can I control in this moment?” When you focus on these small, manageable tasks, you take back some of the power that anxiety tries to steal from you.

4. Direct Your Attention Away from the Fear

Anxiety wants you to focus all of your attention on the fear. It’s like shining a flashlight directly on the worst-case scenario. But the truth is, you control the flashlight—you can choose where to focus your attention. It’s not easy when your anxiety is spiked, but when you are intentional you can continue to redirect back to the present moment.

Example:
If you notice yourself fixating on every bump or noise during the flight, ask yourself, “Where am I pointing my flashlight right now?” Instead of shining it on the fear, direct your focus elsewhere—whether it’s a conversation with the person next to you, a movie you’re watching, or a breathing exercise you’ve practiced.

Quick Tip:
Remember, rumination (obsessively focusing on your fear) is like a marinade for anxiety—the longer you stew in it, the stronger it becomes. 

Flying can be scary, but by recognizing your anxious thoughts for what they are, allowing discomfort, focusing on what you can control, and directing your attention away from fear, you can manage your anxiety and fly with more peace.

Want even more specific strategies to overcome your fear of flying? Click here and I’ll send you personalized tips straight to your inbox.

If you need more help with flying anxiety,  Grab the Free Flight Anxiety Toolkit for my top 12 tips here for more ease on your next flight.

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3 Essential Grounding Techniques to Help You Regain Control When Anxiety Strikes

When anxiety strikes in high-stress situations—whether it's on a plane, in a crowded room, or right before a big presentation—your emotions can quickly spiral out of control. The good news? You have the power to regulate those emotions with specific skills that help you stay grounded and calm, no matter the situation.

These are strategies you can rely on whether you’re mid-flight, navigating a stressful social situation, or managing everyday anxiety.

1. TIPP: Lower Your Intense Emotions Fast

When anxiety peaks—especially during panic or extreme distress—your body goes into fight-or-flight mode, making it hard to think clearly. That’s where TIPP comes in. This DBT skill is designed to lower the intensity of your emotions quickly by using Temperature, Intense Exercise, Paced Breathing, and Progressive Relaxation.

How to Use TIPP:

• Temperature: When you're in a panic, holding your face in cold water (or splashing it) triggers the body’s dive reflex, slowing your heart rate and calming the nervous system.

• Intense Exercise: If you can, do something physically intense for 1-2 minutes—jumping jacks, running in place, or anything to burn off the excess energy from your anxiety.

• Paced Breathing: Slow, deep breathing helps regulate the body. Try inhaling for 4 counts, holding for 4, and exhaling for 6.

• Progressive Relaxation: Gradually tense and release muscle groups, starting from your toes and working up to your head, to relieve tension in your body.

Example for Flight Anxiety:

Lets say you are about to board a flight and feel panic creeping in. Step into the restroom and splash cold water on your face, take deep breaths, and do a few stretches or tense-and-release exercises before getting on the plane. Using TIPP helps lower your panic so you can board the flight feeling more in control. Need more flying anxiety tips? Check out our free flight anxiety toolkit. 

2. Dropping Anchor: Stay Grounded in the Present Moment

When your mind starts spinning with “what ifs” or spiraling thoughts, "Dropping Anchor" is a simple but powerful skill to pull you back into the present. The idea is to ground yourself by connecting with your body and your surroundings, helping you regain control when emotions feel like they're sweeping you away.

How to Drop Anchor:

• Acknowledge: Name and notice your current feelings. “Here is anxiety” or “here is tightness in my chest.” 

• Notice Your Surroundings: Look around you and observe what you see, hear, and feel in the moment.

• Engage Your Body: Push your feet into the floor, sit tall, and feel the sensations in your body. Move a little—stretch, roll your shoulders, or clench and release your fists to remind yourself of where you are.

Example for Public Speaking Anxiety:
Right before stepping up to speak, your mind races with fears of messing up. Drop anchor by feeling your feet firmly on the ground, taking a slow breath, and noticing the room around you. As you begin, stay connected to your body and surroundings, which will help keep your anxiety from taking over.

3. 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique: Bring Your Focus Back

When anxiety feels overwhelming and you're lost in your thoughts, the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique is a quick way to pull yourself out of your mind and into the present. This technique uses your senses to ground you, shifting your focus away from anxious thoughts and back to the here and now.

How to Use 5-4-3-2-1:

• 5: Look around and name 5 things you can see.

• 4: Notice 4 things you can touch (your clothes, the chair, your phone, etc.).

• 3: Listen for 3 sounds around you.

• 2: Identify 2 things you can smell.

• 1: Find 1 thing you can taste (even just the lingering taste of your last meal).

Example for Fearful Flyers:
Mid-flight, you start to feel panicked. Use the 5-4-3-2-1 technique to ground yourself: look around the cabin, feel the seatbelt, listen to the engines humming, notice the scent of your travel pillow, and focus on the taste of the drink you just had. By engaging your senses, you redirect your focus from the fear to the present.

Example for Intrusive Thoughts:
When intrusive thoughts begin to overwhelm you, use 5-4-3-2-1 to break the loop. Find 5 things you can see in the room, touch the chair you’re sitting on, notice the sound of your breath, identify the scent of the space you’re in, and focus on any taste you can notice. By actively engaging your senses, you shift your focus away from the intrusive thoughts and into the present.

Final Thoughts:

When anxiety hits, it can feel like everything is out of control. But by using these emotion regulation skills—TIPP to quickly regulate intense emotions, Dropping Anchor to stay grounded in the moment, and 5-4-3-2-1 to refocus your attention—you can regain control over your mind and body, no matter the situation.

P.S. We gave some helpful tips on flight anxiety in this blog. If you are looking for more specific strategies to manage flight anxiety, Click here and I’ll send you our free Flight Anxiety Toolkit right to your inbox.

Ready to work with an anxiety therapist?

State of Mind Therapy in Bloomington can help. Click the button below to sign-up for your free 15 minute phone consultation today.

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How Mindfulness Can Help You Manage Flight Anxiety

You know how it goes: you’re about to book a trip or about to board your plane, and anxiety is in full force.  It becomes hard to focus on the present moment because your mind is consumed by that pit in your stomach or the scary story playing in your head. 

Or you're on the plane and on the edge of your seat hyper aware of every sound and movement around you. 

You can’t seem to focus on anything else in front of you when the noise of anxiety is just. so. loud. 

This is where mindfulness can really help.

What is Mindfulness?

Mindfulness involves being fully present and aware of your current experience—whether it’s your thoughts, sensations, or surroundings—without judgment. It’s about acknowledging your experience as it is, without labeling it as good or bad.

For example, instead of thinking, “Oh no, here comes anxiety again, I hate this,” you would say, “Here’s anxiety” or “Here are some scary thoughts.” This non-judgmental observation helps to reduce the power that these thoughts and feelings have over you.

Mindfulness vs. Meditation

Many people confuse mindfulness with meditation. Meditation can be seen as a formal practice with the goal of becoming more mindful. But mindfulness does not have to be done formally. You can also practice mindfulness in your daily activities such as when walking, doing the dishes, eating, etc.

How Mindfulness Helps with Flight Anxiety

Mindfulness helps you manage anxious thoughts and feelings by allowing you to observe them without being swept away by them. It doesn’t eliminate anxiety, but it helps you handle it more effectively when it shows up. By practicing mindfulness, you can return to the present moment instead of being caught in an anxious spiral.

For instance, if you’re sitting on the plane and start to feel that familiar rush of fear, mindfulness can help you notice these sensations and thoughts without letting them take over. You might observe your heart racing, your palms sweating, and think, “I notice my heart is beating fast” or “I’m having the thought that something bad might happen,” instead of getting caught up in the fear.

Making Mindfulness a Practice

It’s important to remember that mindfulness isn’t a one-time fix. It’s a practice that you need to cultivate over time. Think of it like learning to play an instrument or training for a marathon. The more you practice, the better you become at it.

Don’t expect to practice mindfulness once or twice before a flight and have no anxiety on your flight. Give yourself plenty of time to understand and benefit from this skill. Regular practice will help you build resilience against anxiety and make it easier to stay grounded during your flight. I recommend daily practice for at least two weeks before your flight for the most benefit.

Practical Tips for Practicing Mindfulness

1. Start Small: Begin with just a few minutes of mindfulness each day. Focus on your breath, notice the sensations in your body, and observe your thoughts without judgment.

2. Use Mindfulness Apps: There are many apps available that offer guided mindfulness exercises. These can be especially helpful for beginners.

3. Present Moment Awareness: Focus on the here and now. Pay attention to the sounds around you, the feeling of your feet on the ground, or the sensation of your breath entering and leaving your body. When you notice other thoughts, sounds, or sensations come up, simply redirect your attention back to the present moment.

4. Mindfulness Exercises: Engage in mindfulness exercises such as body scans, where you focus on different parts of your body and notice any sensations without judgment.

5. Daily Integration: Incorporate mindfulness into your daily routine. Practice it while eating, walking, or doing chores. The goal is to make mindfulness a natural part of your life.

Conclusion

Mindfulness is a powerful tool to help manage flight anxiety. By regularly practicing mindfulness, you can learn to observe your anxious thoughts and feelings without being overwhelmed by them. This skill can help you stop losing sleep over anxious thoughts. Doesn’t that sound nice? 

If you’re ready to start managing your flight anxiety more effectively, sign up for our free Flight Anxiety Toolkit today. It's filled with 12 practical tips to help you feel more in control and confident during your flights.

If you need more help with flying anxiety,  Grab the Free Flight Anxiety Toolkit for my top 12 tips here for more ease on your next flight.

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How to Navigate Anxiety in Everyday Life—No Matter the Situation

Anxiety can be sneaky. One moment, you’re living your life, and the next, your mind is hijacked by worries, doubts, or fears. Sometimes anxiety pops up when you’re about to board a plane, other times when you’re about to give a speech, or maybe when you hear about norovirus making its rounds in your community. 

If you’re like many people I work with, your anxiety could revolve around specific fears—whether that’s a fear of flying, a fear of getting sick, or intrusive thoughts that make you question the kind of person you are. No matter the trigger, one thing is clear: anxiety wears many hats. But here’s the good news—it doesn’t have to control your life.

Let’s look at how anxiety shows up, and more importantly, what you can do about it in those difficult moments.

1. Recognize That Thoughts Are Not Facts

Anxiety loves to tell stories, but just because you think something, doesn’t mean it’s true. Your mind might race with worst-case scenarios, but those thoughts are just that—thoughts.

Example for the Anxious Flyer:
As you sit in the airport, waiting for your flight, your mind starts listing everything that could go wrong—turbulence, panic, feeling trapped. These are just possibilities, not realities. Practice saying, "These are just thoughts, not facts," and remind yourself that you're capable of handling discomfort without reacting to every anxious thought. Check out our flight anxiety toolkit for more effective strategies.

Example for Someone with Emetophobia (Fear of Vomiting):
When you hear about a stomach bug going around, your mind immediately jumps to “What if I get sick? What if I can’t stop it?” These thoughts may feel overwhelming, but they don’t predict the future. Remember, your brain is wired to protect you by imagining threats that may never happen.

Example for Those Struggling with Intrusive Thoughts:
You’re going about your day when suddenly, a disturbing thought pops into your mind: “What if I lose control? What if this means something about me?” These intrusive thoughts are not a reflection of your character. Let your actions define your real self, not your thoughts.

2. Allow Yourself to Be Uncomfortable

One of the biggest traps anxiety sets is the promise that you need to feel comfortable and certain to be okay. In reality, the more you try to avoid discomfort, the more anxious you become. True relief comes when you allow yourself to be uncomfortable.

Example for the Anxious Flyer:
Flying can bring a lot of uncertainty—delays, turbulence, confined spaces. Instead of trying to eliminate all discomfort, practice saying, "It’s okay to be uncomfortable right now." You don’t need certainty to feel safe. In fact, you already know this. In many other areas of your life you don’t require as much certainty.

Example for Someone with Emetophobia:
When you hear about an illness, it’s tempting to try and control everything—avoiding people, cleaning excessively, or researching symptoms. Instead, acknowledge that some discomfort is part of life. You can’t control every situation, but you can control how you respond. Practice sitting with that discomfort rather than scrambling to eliminate it.

Example for Those Struggling with Intrusive Thoughts:
Intrusive thoughts often leave you feeling unsettled and desperate for relief. Instead of trying to push the thoughts away, allow yourself to feel uncomfortable. The more you resist, the stronger they become. Practice saying, "I can tolerate this discomfort," and let the thought come and go without fighting it.

3. Focus on What You Can Control

Anxiety thrives when we focus on the things we can’t control. Instead, shift your attention to the aspects of the situation that are within your control. Let go of the rest.

Example for the Anxious Flyer:
While you can’t control turbulence or flight delays, you can control how you prepare for the flight. Bring things that calm you—your favorite podcast, a comforting snack, or a breathing exercise. Focus on these, and let go of trying to predict what might happen on the flight.

Example for Someone with Emetophobia:
You may not be able to control the presence of a stomach bug in your community, but you can control your own hygiene, rest, and stress management. Trying to control every potential risk is impossible, but you can focus on maintaining your own well-being.

Example for Those Struggling with Intrusive Thoughts:
You can’t control the random thoughts that pop into your mind, but you can control your reaction. Instead of engaging with the thought, remind yourself, "I don’t need to respond to every thought." You can choose to focus on something else—whether that’s an activity or a calming mantra like, "I can handle anything that comes my way."

4. Direct Your Attention Where It Serves You

Imagine your attention is like a flashlight—you control where to point it. When anxiety takes over, it’s as if the flashlight is focused directly on the fear. You get to choose to zoom out and redirect it.

Example for the Anxious Flyer:
When turbulence hits, your mind might fixate on the uncomfortable sensation and the “what ifs” that come with it. Instead of letting the flashlight focus on those fears, shift it to something within your control—maybe a breathing technique or visualizing your destination. Remind yourself, "I’m choosing where to point my attention."

Example for Someone with Emetophobia:
Anxiety might urge you to constantly check your body or your children for signs of illness. Instead of zooming in on every sensation, choose to focus your flashlight elsewhere. Maybe it’s a book you’re reading or a hobby you enjoy. The more you direct your attention, the less power anxiety has.

Example for Those Struggling with Intrusive Thoughts:
When an intrusive thought pops up, it’s easy to get stuck on it, replaying it over and over. But you have the power to redirect your focus. Picture yourself turning down the volume on the thought and shifting your focus to something neutral or calming. Your thoughts don’t have to control your attention.

Anxiety can feel overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to dictate your life. By recognizing that your thoughts are not facts, allowing discomfort, focusing on what you can control, and redirecting your attention, you can start to break the cycle of anxiety.

Want more specific tips on overcoming a fear of flying? Click here to grab free flight anxiety toolkit to get started. 

Ready to work with an anxiety therapist?

State of Mind Therapy in Bloomington can help. Click the button below to sign-up for your free 15 minute phone consultation today.

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Overcoming Flight Anxiety When Claustrophobia Takes Control

You've booked your dream vacation, the destination is perfect, and the itinerary is exciting. But then, reality hits you—the thought of getting on that plane sends a rush of fear through your body. 

The idea of being trapped, the doors shutting, and not being able to get out makes you feel like canceling the whole trip.

If this sounds familiar, you're not alone. Many people struggle with flight anxiety related to claustrophobia. But the good news is, there are ways to manage this fear and take back control.

Understanding Claustrophobia in the Context of Flying

It’s often misunderstood that fearful flyers are worried about the plane crashing. But there are many other reasons people fear flying. 

One reason is claustrophobia, or the fear of being trapped in small spaces. For some, the fear rushes in the moment the doors close and there's no way out. 

Others fear being held on the tarmac for hours. The thought of being confined without control over their environment can lead to an overwhelming sense of panic. Or maybe you worry about losing control of yourself and doing something embarrassing on the flight.

If you are looking for support while flying with Claustrophobia, it’s important to know that there are “in the moment” tips for flying and longer-term strategies that can help you become less fearful in small spaces (like flying). This blog will cover examples of both.

Mental Preparation

1. Reframe Your Thoughts: Stop telling yourself that you are stuck on this plane or trapped. Remember, you are CHOOSING to go on this flight. When the plane doors close, think of it as the step to getting where you need to go, not confinement.

2. Bust the Illusion of Control: In many areas of life, we accept things outside our control without much thought. Accepting that you don’t have to control everything can reduce the pressure you put on yourself and help manage your anxiety.

In-Flight Tips

1. Book an Aisle Seat: Having an aisle seat can provide a sense of space and control, making it easier to move around and lessening the feeling of being trapped.

2. Shift Your Perception of Space: Notice the space you do have on the plane. Notice the openness of the aisle, the space around your seat, and the environment outside the window. On a plane, you are free to move around….unlike in a car.

3. Controlled Breathing: Practice deep breathing exercises to calm your nervous system. Inhale slowly through your nose, hold for a few seconds, and exhale through your mouth.

Face Your Fear of Claustrophobia with Exposure

The most effective way to overcome your fear in the long run is to face your fears in small steps over and over again. 

When you repeatedly practice facing your fear, your brain starts to "get used to it" and stops firing off the danger alarm. It will start to recognize flying as low risk and stop trying to warn you of danger. 

One of the challenges with exposure and flight anxiety is that many people don't fly frequently enough, so that can make it more challenging to practice. 

And it doesn't help that flying is expensive, which can keep people from practicing frequently. However, there are ways around this, and working with a professional can help design exposure exercises that can be done even without buying a plane ticket.

Sample Exposures for Fear of Feeling Trapped

• Spend time in small, enclosed spaces like a bathroom stall or elevator.

• Sit in the back seat of a car for a short drive.

• Practice closing the door and staying in a room for a set period.

• Take short flights, gradually increasing the duration.

These are just a few examples of exposures. A therapist trained in exposure therapy will help create a personalized exposure menu that targets the right activities and guides the pace for the best results.

Conclusion

Flight anxiety related to claustrophobia can feel overwhelming, but with the right strategies and support, you can manage it effectively. Remember, you're not alone and you don’t have to figure this out on your own. Therapists trained in CBT and exposure therapy can provide personalized guidance to help you overcome your fear.

Need More Support With Your Fear of Flying?

If you need more help with flying anxiety,  Grab the Free Flight Anxiety Toolkit for my top 12 tips here for more ease on your next flight.

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Using Affirmations to Help with Flight Anxiety

If the thought of sitting in a plane makes you hyperventilate, it can leave you feeling defeated and overwhelmed. Many people grapple with the intense anxiety around flying despite their passion for travel.

Flight anxiety can be manageable with the right tools in place. Affirmations can be a powerful tool to help manage and reduce flight anxiety, allowing you to shift your mindset from hating flying to finding it enjoyable.

What Are Affirmations?

Affirmations are positive statements that you repeat to yourself to challenge and overcome negative thoughts. They help reframe your mindset and instill a sense of calm and confidence. Think of affirmations as mental conditioning – just like you would train your body, you can train your mind to respond differently to anxiety triggers.

How Affirmations Help with Flight Anxiety

Flight anxiety often involves focusing on worst-case scenarios and negative thoughts. This amplifies your fear and makes it feel uncontrollable. Affirmations help by redirecting your focus from these negative thoughts to positive, reassuring statements. Here’s how they work:

1. Shift Your Focus: Affirmations help shift your focus from fear-based thoughts to more positive and empowering ones.

2. Rewire Your Brain: By repeating affirmations, you start to rewire your brain to think more positively and calmly about flying.

3. Build Confidence: Affirmations can boost your confidence by reinforcing the belief that you can handle the flight and any anxiety that comes with it.

4. Reduce Anxiety: Consistent use of affirmations can reduce overall anxiety levels by creating a more positive mindset.

How to Implement Affirmations

Using affirmations effectively involves a few simple steps:

1. Choose Your Affirmations: Select affirmations that resonate with you and address your specific fears about flying. These should be positive, present-tense statements.

2. Repeat Regularly: Consistency is key. Repeat your affirmations daily, especially in the weeks leading up to your flight. Say them out loud, write them down, or even record yourself saying them and listen to the recording.

3. Visualize: As you say your affirmations, visualize yourself feeling calm and confident on the flight. This helps reinforce the positive message.

4. Use During the Flight: Have your affirmations handy during the flight. Repeat them to yourself if you start to feel anxious.

Sample Affirmations for Flight Anxiety

Here are a few examples of affirmations you can use:

• "I am calm and relaxed during my flight."

• "Flying is safe, and I trust the process."

• "I am in control of my thoughts and emotions."

• "I can handle any turbulence with ease."

• "I am excited about my journey and the destination."

Want to start using affirmations to conquer your flight anxiety? I’ve created a list of 20 ready-to-use affirmations specifically designed to help with flight anxiety. These affirmations can be your go-to tool to calm your nerves and build confidence before and during your flight.

Download the Flight Anxiety Affirmation Guide

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Conquering Anticipation Anxiety for Fearful Flyers

You decide you are going to book that vacation. You start to research flights and notice your stomach churn.

You can barely hit the "book now" button because the idea of getting on that plane makes this all feel like too much.

The weeks, days, and even hours leading up to a flight can be filled with dread and worry. This is what we call anticipation anxiety – it’s the mental anguish you experience before you do something you’re anxious or nervous about. It's a common struggle for many who fear flying.

Understanding Anticipation Anxiety

So, what triggers this anxiety? For many fearful flyers, the mere thought of getting on a plane can set it off. You might find yourself tangled up in knots, constantly imagining worst-case scenarios, feeling your heart race, and experiencing sleepless nights. It's like watching a horror movie in your head, where you are the star in a catastrophic event.

If you’re not sure what triggers your anxiety, try keeping a log for one week of when you feel anxious. Notice the symptoms of worry you experience before a flight. If you find yourself thinking "what if" and feeling a whirlwind inside your mind, take note. This can help you identify patterns and specific situations that trigger your anticipation anxiety.

The Science Behind Anticipation Anxiety

Ever wondered why some people are more prone to this type of anxiety? It's not just in your head; there are neurological factors at play. When you experience anxiety, your fight, flight, freeze system is activated. This is your survival system (and no, you can’t get rid of it….and you wouldn’t want to!).

When your brain perceives that something is a threat or dangerous – like flying – it sends signals to give you extra energy to run or fight. If you have a pattern of feeling anxious about flying, your brain has learned to go into fight, flight, or freeze mode even at the smallest reminder of flying.

But here's the thing: anticipation anxiety isn't a disorder on its own. It's a thinking pattern that often accompanies various anxiety disorders. Most people will say that the anticipation was worse than the actual flight.

Why?

Because when you're anticipating the worst-case scenario, you're devoting endless time and energy to imagining a catastrophic situation. But when you're actually on the flight, you're busy dealing with the real situation, leaving less room for those scary thoughts.

Can Anticipation Anxiety Be Treated?

Absolutely! There's hope, and evidence-based treatments like Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) can work wonders.

• ERP Therapy: Helps you face your fears step by step. Overtime, you learn that the scary story in your mind doesn’t usually happen. This help you to start seeing these thoughts and unimportant and untrue.

• Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT): Teaches you to create distance from anxious thoughts and commit to what’s important, like traveling to visit loved ones or creating new memories.

• CBT: Helps you examine the accuracy of your thoughts and find a more realistic and helpful way of viewing the situation. For instance, if you’re worried about a plane crash, CBT encourages you to consider the evidence and think about how many flights land safely every day.

How Can I Manage Anticipation Anxiety?

Managing anticipation anxiety effectively involves several strategies:

• Mindfulness: This is like a mental workout that helps you pull yourself back to the present moment when your mind starts spiraling into worst-case scenarios.

• Relaxation Techniques: These can ease the physical sensations of anxiety, like muscle tension and a rapid heartbeat.

• Cognitive Restructuring: Challenge catastrophic thoughts and see situations more realistically.

• Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. Acknowledge that these thoughts and feelings are tough but remember that you’re not alone and can handle this.

• Acknowledging the Scary Story: Recognize that your mind is playing a horror movie, and these thoughts are just stories, not reality.

Setting Realistic Goals and Expectations

It's essential to set realistic goals in your journey to overcome anticipation anxiety. Even with effective strategies, you might still feel anxious at times, and that's okay. It takes consistent effort and practice to learn new skills and habits.

So, as long as you keep practicing, you will make progress. The key is not to beat yourself up about it. Instead, acknowledge your anxiety and remind yourself that it's natural. With the right tools, you can handle it.

Conclusion

Here’s the good news: anticipation anxiety is treatable. If you find yourself struggling, don’t hesitate to seek help. Therapists trained in CBT, ACT, and ERP, like those at State of Mind Therapy, can guide you through this journey.

Need More Support With Your Fear of Flying?

If you need more help with flying anxiety,  Grab the Free Flight Anxiety Toolkit for my top 12 tips here for more ease on your next flight.

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A Simple Grounding Exercise to Help You Stay Present in the Moment

Are you constantly worrying about the future? Do you find yourself caught up in anxious thoughts that make it hard to focus on the here and now? You’re not alone. One effective way to manage these feelings is through grounding exercises. These exercises help anchor you to the present moment, reducing anxiety and helping you feel more in control. Today, I’ll guide you through a simple grounding exercise that you can use anytime you need to bring yourself back to the present.

The 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Exercise

This grounding exercise uses your five senses to help you stay grounded. The next time you feel overwhelmed by anxious thoughts, try using the following formula:

5 - LOOK

Look around for five things that you can see, and say them out loud. For example:

• "I see the computer."

• "I see the cup."

• "I see the picture frame."

4 - FEEL

Pay attention to your body and think of four things that you can feel, and say them out loud. For example:

• "I feel my feet warm in my socks."

• "I feel the hair on the back of my neck."

• "I feel the pillow I am laying on."

3 - LISTEN

Listen for three sounds. It could be the sound of traffic outside, the sound of typing, or the sound of your tummy rumbling. Say the three things out loud. For example:

• "I hear the birds chirping."

• "I hear the hum of the air conditioner."

• "I hear the clicking of the keyboard."

2 - SMELL

Say two things you can smell. If you’re able to, it’s okay to move to another spot and sniff something. If you can’t smell anything at the moment or you can’t move, then name your two favorite smells. For example:

• "I smell the fresh coffee."

• "I smell the scent of my lotion."

1 - TASTE

Say one thing you can taste. It may be the toothpaste from brushing your teeth, or a mint from after lunch. If you can’t taste anything, then say your favorite thing to taste. For example:

• "I taste the minty flavor from my toothpaste."

• "I taste the chocolate I had earlier."

Why Exercise Works for anxiety

Grounding exercises like this one are effective because they help shift your focus from your anxious thoughts to your physical surroundings. It gets you out of your head and into the present. By engaging your senses, you can break the cycle of worry and bring your attention back to the present moment. This not only helps reduce anxiety but also helps you feel more in control and less overwhelmed.

Conclusion

Incorporating grounding exercises into your daily routine can be a simple yet powerful way to manage anxiety and stay present. The 5-4-3-2-1 grounding exercise is easy to remember and can be done anywhere, anytime. Try it the next time you find yourself worrying about the future or caught up in anxious thoughts.

Remember, the goal is to stay connected to the present moment. Practice this exercise regularly, and you’ll find it easier to keep your worries at bay and focus on the here and now.

P.S. Don’t forget to download our 5 Steps to Live More, Worry Less for more helpful tips on handling anxiety. This guide is designed to help you take control of your anxiety and live a more fulfilling life.

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Conquering Your Fear of Flying with Exposure Therapy

If you have a fear of a plane crashing or the terrifying feeling of being trapped on a plane, flight anxiety can be overwhelming. But I'm here to tell you that there's hope.

Have you ever heard of exposure therapy? It’s a specific form of therapy to help you overcome a fear.

As a mental health therapist specializing in treating fear of flying using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and exposure therapy, I've seen firsthand how effective these treatments can be in helping people like you conquer their fears.

Why Exposure Therapy Works

Exposure therapy is a powerful method for treating phobias because it helps you gradually confront your fears in bite sized pieces. Instead of avoiding the things that make you anxious, exposure therapy encourages you to face them head-on. By doing so, you can desensitize yourself to the fear and reduce the anxiety over time.

When you consistently practice facing your fear, your brain begins to acclimate and stops triggering the alarm response. It starts to recognize flying as a low-risk activity and no longer perceives it as a threat.

However, one of the challenges with exposure therapy for flight anxiety is that many people don't fly often enough to retrain their brain effectively. Additionally, the high cost of flying can make it difficult to practice regularly.

Fortunately, there are alternative methods to address this issue. Working with a professional can help you design exposure exercises that simulate the flying experience, allowing you to practice and build resilience without the need to purchase a plane ticket.

Benefits of Exposure Therapy

• Desensitization: Gradual exposure helps reduce the intensity of your fear.

• Increased Confidence: Facing your fears head-on builds confidence and resilience.

• Long-term Relief: Unlike quick fixes, exposure therapy offers long-lasting results.

• Personal Empowerment: You take control of your fear, rather than letting it control you.

Sample Exposure Plan for Fear of Plane Crashing

How would exposure look in real life? Lets say you have a fear of the plane crashing so you avoid flying altogether, missing out on family vacations and work opportunities. Here's how a sample exposure plan might look:

1. Watch Videos: Start by watching videos of planes taking off and landing to become familiar with the process.

2. Visit the Airport: Spend time at the airport to get used to the environment without the pressure of flying.

3. Sit in a Stationary Plane: Take a tour of a plane on the ground to become comfortable with the interior.

4. Talk to Pilots: Have a conversation with pilots about how they handle various flying conditions.

5. Short Flights: Begin with short, local flights to gradually build confidence.

Sample Exposure Plan for Fear of Feeling Trapped

Now, let’s talk about how exposure therapy might work for someone who doesn’t fear the plane crashing, but fears they will be trapped on a plane and unable to escape.

Here’s a sample exposure plan for fear of feeling trapped:

1. Crowded Spaces: Start by spending time in crowded places like a city bus or concert to get used to being around many people.

2. Other places to practice: Car wash, public restroom, closet, etc.

3. Stationary Plane: Sit in a stationary plane to get comfortable with the interior environment.

4. Short Flights: Take short, local flights to practice staying calm while in the air.

Overcoming the Challenges

One of the main challenges with exposure therapy for flight anxiety is the infrequency of flying. It's hard to retrain the brain when you don't fly often enough. Plus, the cost of flying can make it difficult to practice regularly. This is where working with a professional becomes crucial. Together, we can design exposure exercises that simulate the flying experience and help you practice facing your fears even without getting on a plane.

Personalized Exposure Plans

The examples above are just a starting point. A therapist trained in exposure therapy will help create a personalized exposure menu designed to target the right activities and guide the pace for the best results. This tailored approach ensures that your exposure exercises are both effective and manageable, helping you to gradually build confidence and reduce anxiety.

Conclusion

Exposure therapy can lead to significant and lasting relief from flight anxiety. By facing your fears gradually and with the right support, you can reclaim your freedom and confidence when it comes to flying.

If you’re ready to start this journey and would like more personalized guidance, consider reaching out for a consultation. Together, we can create a plan that works for you and helps you take back control from your fear of flying.

Need More Support With Your Fear of Flying?

If you need more help with flying anxiety,  Grab the Free Flight Anxiety Toolkit for my top 12 tips here for more ease on your next flight.

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Dropping Anchor: A Helpful Tool for Handling Anxiety, Panic, and Other Big Feelings

When anxiety, panic, or other overwhelming emotions hit, it can be challenging to stay grounded. Whether it's anxiety, anger, shame, or any other intense feeling, these emotions can take over, making it hard to act effectively.

That’s where "Dropping Anchor," a tool from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), comes in handy.

This three-part exercise is designed to help you gain more control over your actions, reducing the impact or power of these big feelings. The goal isn’t to eliminate difficult thoughts or emotions but to help you manage them more effectively. Here’s how you can use the ACE method—Acknowledge, Connect, and Engage—to drop anchor and stay grounded.

ACE: Acknowledge, Connect, Engage

Acknowledge Your Thoughts and Feelings

Start by acknowledging your thoughts and feelings with curiosity and without judgment. This means noticing them in a matter-of-fact way, such as saying, “Here is worry,” or “I’m noticing a racing heart.” You can also be more general, like “Here are difficult thoughts/feelings” or “I’m noticing pain.”

This step is crucial because it helps you accept your experience without trying to distract yourself or avoid it. By naming your experience, you actively accept it and create some distance from it.

Connect with Your Body

Next, reconnect with your body through small movements. Try a gentle stretch, wiggle your toes and fingers, take a short walk, or shift in your chair. The key is to stay connected with your body while continuing to acknowledge your thoughts and feelings. This ensures that the exercise doesn’t turn into a distraction technique.

Engage in the World Around You

Finally, refocus and engage with an activity. This step helps you take effective action even when you’re experiencing difficult thoughts or feelings. Actively notice your environment by naming something you can see, hear, smell, touch, or taste.

Then, decide where to put your attention next to make the most of your situation. This could mean returning to work, taking the dog for a walk, or playing a game with your kids. The aim is to shift your focus to the present moment and engage fully with what you are doing.

Dropping Anchor Audio Recording

Practicing a new skill can be more effective when guided by audio rather than reading instructions. That’s why I’ve created an audio recording to help you practice dropping anchor.

Listening to this recording can make the process feel more natural and eventually, you’ll be able to perform the exercise on your own without needing the recording.

Get Access to the Dropping Anchor Audio Recording here.

Conclusion

Dropping anchor is a powerful tool for managing anxiety, panic, and other intense emotions. By using the ACE method—Acknowledge, Connect, and Engage—you can stay grounded and take effective action despite challenging thoughts and feelings. With practice, this skill will become second nature, helping you navigate life's storms with greater ease and resilience.

P.S. Don’t forget to download our 5 Steps to Live More, Worry Less for more helpful tips on handling anxiety. This guide is designed to help you take control of your anxiety and live a more fulfilling life.

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Managing Flight Anxiety with CBT: Identifying Worst-Case, Best-Case, and Most Likely Scenarios

Flight anxiety can be overwhelming, often leading to a cascade of "what if" thoughts that can make the experience of flying feel insurmountable. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) offers practical strategies to help manage these anxious thoughts. One effective technique is identifying the worst-case, best-case, and most likely scenarios. This approach can help you gain perspective and reduce anxiety by challenging irrational fears.

Understanding the Technique

CBT is a therapeutic approach that focuses on changing unhelpful thinking patterns and behaviors. By identifying and challenging negative thoughts, you can develop healthier, more realistic ways of thinking. The worst-case, best-case, and most likely scenario technique is a straightforward but powerful tool within CBT that helps you balance your thinking and manage anxiety.

Step-by-Step Guide to Using This CBT Technique

1. Identify the Worst-Case Scenario

When you're feeling anxious about flying, your mind might automatically jump to the worst possible outcome. This is a natural response, but it's often exaggerated and not based on reality.

• Example: "What if the plane crashes and I die?"

While this thought is terrifying, it's essential to acknowledge it and then move on to the next step.

2. Identify the Best-Case Scenario

Next, consider the best possible outcome. This helps balance out the negativity by acknowledging that positive outcomes are also possible.

• Example: "What if the flight is smooth, and I arrive safely at my destination feeling calm and happy?"

This positive scenario is just as likely as the worst-case scenario and helps create a balanced view.

3. Identify the Most Likely Scenario

Finally, identify the most realistic and likely outcome. This step grounds you in reality and helps you see the situation more clearly.

• Example: "The flight will probably be uneventful. There might be some turbulence, but the plane is designed to handle it, and I will arrive safely."

By focusing on the most likely scenario, you can reduce your anxiety by reminding yourself of the realistic outcome.

Applying the Technique in Real Life

Step 1: Write It Down

Start by writing down your worst-case, best-case, and most likely scenarios. Seeing your thoughts on paper can help you process them more effectively.

Step 2: Challenge Irrational Thoughts

Look at the worst-case scenario and challenge its validity. What evidence do you have that this will happen? Often, you'll find that your fears are based on irrational thoughts rather than facts.

Step 3: Reframe Your Thinking

Use the best-case and most likely scenarios to reframe your thinking. Remind yourself that while anything is possible, the most probable outcome is usually far less dramatic than your worst fears.

Step 4: Practice Regularly

Like any skill, this technique requires practice. The more you use it, the more natural it will become. Over time, you'll find that your anxiety decreases as you develop a more balanced way of thinking.

Conclusion

Managing flight anxiety is a journey, but with tools like the worst-case, best-case, and most likely scenario technique from CBT, you can take significant steps towards overcoming your fears. By challenging your irrational thoughts and grounding yourself in reality, you can transform your anxious moments into opportunities for growth and resilience.

If you found this technique helpful and want more strategies to manage your flight anxiety, consider downloading our Free Flight Anxiety Toolkit. It’s packed with practical tips and resources to help you fly with confidence.

Need More Support With Your Fear of Flying?

If you need more help with flying anxiety,  Grab the Free Flight Anxiety Toolkit for my top 12 tips here for more ease on your next flight.

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How Gratitude Can Help Alleviate Anxiety

When you are anxious, your mind is usually consumed with fearful thoughts, bad outcomes of future events, or thoughts that just won't stop.

This constant worry can be exhausting and debilitating.

But there’s a simple yet powerful tool you can use to interrupt this pattern: gratitude.

Why Gratitude Helps with Anxiety

It may sound too simplistic, but trust me on this. Research has shown that practicing gratitude can have profound effects on your mood, sleep, and even your longevity.

When you are anxious, try to interrupt your thought pattern with gratitude. This will move your thoughts from fearful, anxious, and negative to feelings of appreciation and love.

The Science Behind Gratitude

Studies have found that gratitude can reduce symptoms of anxiety by:

• Shifting focus from negative to positive thoughts

• Enhancing feelings of well-being

• Improving sleep quality

• Increasing resilience to stress

How to Practice Gratitude

There are many ways to practice gratitude, and there is no wrong way to do it. The most important thing is to start and do it consistently. Even if that means having to repeat it 30 times a day.

Here are some tips on how to incorporate gratitude into your daily routine:

1. Be Specific

When practicing gratitude, be specific. Don’t just say you are grateful for your family. Go into detail.

Why are you grateful for your family?

Who is one person in your family you are particularly grateful for today?

How has this person impacted your life or day?

What would you say to them if you could?

The more detailed you get, the better this exercise works.

2. Keep a Gratitude Journal

Write down three things you are grateful for each day. This can be done in the morning to start your day on a positive note, or at night to reflect on the good things that happened during the day.

3. Think About Someone You Are Grateful For

Spend a few moments thinking about someone who has made a positive impact on your life. Reflect on why you are grateful for them and how they have helped you.

4. Write and Send a Letter of Gratitude

Writing a letter to someone you are grateful for can be a powerful way to express your appreciation. If possible, send the letter to them.

This not only helps you feel good but also strengthens your relationship with that person.

5. Count Your Blessings

Sit quietly and mentally list everything you are grateful for. See how many things you can come up with. This exercise can help shift your focus from what is going wrong to what is going right.

6. Write a Thank You Note

Writing thank you notes is a simple but effective way to practice gratitude. Whether it’s for a small favor or a big gesture, expressing your thanks can boost your mood and foster positive feelings.

7. Incorporate Gratitude in Prayer

If you are religious, incorporate gratitude into your prayers. Thank your higher power for the blessings in your life.

Make Gratitude a Habit

The key to reaping the benefits of gratitude is consistency. Try to make gratitude a daily habit. Here are a few suggestions on when to practice gratitude:

• Before bedtime

• At meals

• First thing in the morning

Gratitude is a powerful tool that can help alleviate anxiety and improve your overall well-being. By shifting your focus from negative to positive thoughts, you can break the cycle of anxiety and foster feelings of appreciation and love. Start incorporating gratitude into your daily routine and see how it transforms your life.

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Understanding Reassurance Seeking and How It Fuels Anxiety

Living with anxiety or OCD can be incredibly challenging, especially when intrusive thoughts and constant worries take over your mind.

One common coping mechanism people turn to is reassurance seeking. While it may provide temporary relief, it often fuels anxiety in the long run.

In this blog post, we’ll explore what reassurance seeking is, why it’s problematic for anxiety and OCD recovery, and the different types of reassurance seeking.

What is Reassurance Seeking?

Reassurance seeking involves looking for confirmation or validation from others to alleviate anxiety or uncertainty. This can include repeatedly asking for assurances about health, safety, relationships, or morality.

While seeking reassurance might provide a brief sense of relief, it can quickly become a compulsive behavior that perpetuates anxiety.

Why is Reassurance Seeking Problematic?

Reassurance seeking is problematic because it reinforces the idea that the intrusive thoughts or worries are legitimate threats that need to be addressed. This can prevent you from learning to tolerate uncertainty and develop healthy coping mechanisms. Over time, reassurance seeking can become a crutch, making it harder to manage anxiety or OCD independently.

Types of reassurance traps

1. Do No Harm

This type of reassurance seeking involves looking for certainty that you are not a bad person. Intrusive harming thoughts can have violent, sexual, or embarrassing content.

For instance, you might find yourself always being careful to avoid accidental harm to yourself or others. Or you may have an overwhelming fear of offending God, leading you to constantly try to prove to yourself that you are in good grace.

2. Guarantees Forever

This type of reassurance seeking is about finding certainty that everything will be okay.

This could mean constantly seeking reassurance to prove you don’t have a serious illness by checking your pulse or temperature without any medical advice.

It could also involve needing to know if you are going to get fired by studying others' reactions and excessively asking colleagues if they think you are not performing well.

Additionally, it can mean needing to confirm your partner’s faithfulness by scanning their face, checking their phone and emails, and becoming upset if a text is not answered right away.

3. Banish All Doubts

This type of reassurance seeking involves trying to find answers to questions that are unanswerable. These might include questions like, “How can I be sure I’m really here on earth?”

Reassurance seeking can involve frequently asking friends or family to confirm your identity or reality, or seeking validation from online forums about your sexual orientation or mental health.

4. Don’t Mess Up

This type of reassurance seeking is driven by the fear of messing up, especially at work.

This can lead to endless checking of emails or working excessively to avoid imperfections. It can also involve doing extensive research and planning for a simple purchase to ensure you make the perfect decision.

Reassurance seeking can look like spending hours drafting and redrafting a simple email to avoid any potential errors or researching for days before making a minor purchase decision.

How State of Mind Therapy Can Help with Reassurance Seeking

If you struggle with anxiety and reassurance seeking, know that you are not alone. At State of Mind Therapy, we specialize in helping individuals break free from the cycle of anxiety and find peace.

Our experienced therapists use evidence-based strategies to address the root causes of your anxiety and develop healthier coping mechanisms.

Ready to get started? Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation with one of our therapists today to take the first step towards a calmer, more confident you.

5 Essential Tips to Effectively Sit with Anxiety and Find Relief

It sounds so simple, right? As you start to learn about the strategies that help and don’t help with anxiety, you’ve likely come to realize that running from discomfort only makes matters worse.

So, everything you have been learning tells you not to avoid, distract, or engage in compulsions but to “sit with anxiety” instead.

I understand this isn’t easy. If it was, you wouldn’t be avoiding in the first place.

Why Sitting with Anxiety is Important

Avoidance might seem like a quick fix, but it reinforces the idea that anxiety is something to fear. By learning to sit with anxiety, you can change your relationship with it and reduce its power over you.

I find that there are essential skills I need to help my clients learn in order to effectively “sit with” anxiety. Here are my tips on how to do just that.

5 Tips on How to Sit with Anxiety

1. Be Curious About What Your Body is Doing

Close your eyes to really allow yourself to be present with your mind and body. Do a scan of your body and notice where you are experiencing sensations.

Just name the sensation you notice in a matter-of-fact way. For example: “I notice chest tightness” or “here’s nausea.” Draw an imaginary circle around that area.

2. Acknowledge the Sensation for What It Is

When we feel anxiety in our bodies, we can begin to interpret these sensations as real danger.

If you find your mind doing this, remind yourself, “this is just a sensation” or “here is discomfort.”

3. Be Curious About What Your Mind is Doing

Close your eyes once again and notice what your mind does. Is it giving demanding threats?

Is it spinning with a bunch of random thoughts? Is it desperately trying to focus on something else?

You don’t have to do anything here, just sit back as if you were sitting in the chair of a theater and watching a show.

4. Be Gentle

Sitting with anxiety isn’t easy. You need to give yourself relentless grace and encouragement for doing something difficult. No judgment allowed here.

Tell yourself, “this isn’t easy” or “I can do hard things.”

Beating yourself up for having anxiety is not helpful in moving you forward, so commit to being kinder to yourself.

If a close friend began to panic, would you say, “what’s wrong with you?” Probably not. So don’t tell yourself that either. Treat yourself like you would treat a friend.

5. Remove Temptation

If you are working on sitting with anxiety without avoidance or compulsions, you may want to modify your environment to make it more challenging to access those.

For instance, if you are working on reducing handwashing, remove extra soap or hand wipes. If you are working on not checking the rearview mirror, flip it up or cover it. If you seek excessive reassurance (online or with loved ones), leave your phone/computer and go for a walk so you can’t research the internet.

Practice, Practice, Practice

If you are working on relating to anxiety differently, then these skills are crucial to your success. If you are doing exposure therapy, you are moving towards situations that make you uncomfortable all the time.

If you are struggling to sit with anxiety, you will likely abandon the exposure exercise quickly and end up avoiding the situation (or doing a compulsion).

I recommend practicing these skills regularly before doing exposures. If you only practice these skills during times of high anxiety, it may be more challenging to sit with the uncomfortable feelings.

Taking the Next Step

Sitting with anxiety is a vital skill in managing and overcoming it. By being curious, gentle, and persistent, you can change your relationship with anxiety and lead a more fulfilling life.

If you need help applying these skills, consider starting therapy for anxiety or OCD. Our therapists are trained in using the most effective strategies for treating anxiety disorders and OCD.

Schedule a free 15 minute phone consultation with one of our therapists today to get started.

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Should You Use Anti-Anxiety Medication for Flying? Here's My Take

Many people seek out a prescription for anti-anxiety medication to use while traveling or during other high-anxiety times. If you’re considering this option, I want to share my personal (and professional) take on it and give you a few things to consider.

IMPORTANT: Deciding to take medication is a personal decision, and this is by no means professional advice. Always consult your doctor or therapist to determine whether medication is right for you.

Understanding Anti-Anxiety Medication

When I talk about anti-anxiety medication, I’m referring to quick-acting medications like Valium, Xanax, or Klonopin. These are different from other anxiety medications such as Zoloft or Prozac, which are SSRIs and not quick-acting. SSRI’s are a great option for daily anxiety or depression management.

Reasons to Consider NOT Using Quick-Acting Medication

While quick-acting anti-anxiety medication can be helpful, there are important reasons to think twice about relying on them for flying:

1. It Won't Resolve Your Fear

Even if the medication helps you to fly, it’s just a band-aid. It doesn’t address the root of the problem or help you learn that flying is safe and that you can handle discomfort. You may end up relying on the medication every time you fly.

2. You May Find You Need It More and More

Because anti-anxiety medication is effective, you might start turning to it during other anxious times instead of learning other coping skills. For many people, anxiety about flying doesn’t just occur on the day of the flight but also in the days and weeks leading up to it, increasing the likelihood of turning to medication.

3. It May Not Be Helpful in an Actual Emergency

These medications can make you drowsy and sleepy. In the event of an actual emergency, your ability to react quickly could be impaired, or it might be difficult for others to wake you.

4. It May Not Be Safe with Other Medications

If you’re taking other medications, you need to ensure that it’s safe to use anti-anxiety medications concurrently. You don’t want to experience a medical emergency while 30,000 feet in the air.

When Medication Might Make Sense

There are situations where taking anti-anxiety medication for flying might make sense. For example, if you have to fly somewhere and have not yet developed the skills or supports to manage your anxiety in other ways, medication can be a temporary solution to help you get through the flight. In such cases, it’s important to work with your healthcare provider to ensure it’s the best option for you.

If you have been taking medication for flight anxiety or bring it with you “just in case” and wish to fly confidently without it. Then you can create a plan with your provider about decreasing the use of the medication.

What About Other Substances?

Some people turn to cannabis or alcohol instead of medication, but these substances have their own downfalls.

Alcohol

Be cautious with alcohol. It can cause drowsiness, dehydration, and hangovers. You especially don’t want to mix alcohol with anti-anxiety medication. Remember that scene in "Bridesmaids"?

Marijuana or CBD

Marijuana comes in various forms—some make you more stimulated, some sleepy, and some paranoid. If you don’t typically use marijuana, you may not know how it will impact you, potentially increasing your anxiety during the flight.

Conclusion

While quick-acting anti-anxiety medications can be useful in certain situations, they are not a long-term solution for overcoming the fear of flying. They may help you get through a flight, but they don’t address the underlying anxiety. It’s important to consider the potential downsides and explore other coping strategies that can help you manage your fear more effectively.

Remember, it’s about finding what works best for you and making an informed decision. Always consult with a healthcare professional before starting any new medication or substance.

Need More Support With Your Fear of Flying?

If you need more help with flying anxiety,  Grab the Free Flight Anxiety Toolkit for my top 12 tips here for more ease on your next flight.

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