Refocusing After Holiday Setbacks: A Compassionate Approach to Progress

The holidays can include a whirlwind of emotions, and if you struggle with anxiety or OCD, they can feel even more overwhelming. With all the heightened stress, busy environments, and disrupted routines, setbacks or challenges with handling anxiety or OCD are bound to happen—and that’s okay.

Setbacks don’t erase progress. They’re part of the process, a normal part of learning and growing. It’s important to take a moment to reflect on what happened, learn from it, and refocus for the days ahead.

Why Setbacks Are Normal

The holidays are packed with potential triggers:

• Decisions to make under pressure.

• Crowded gatherings that can feel overstimulating.

• Eating food prepared by others when you’re not in control.

• Managing family expectations that add another layer of stress.

When these challenges pile up, it’s no surprise that anxiety or OCD can feel louder. But here’s the thing: setbacks aren’t failures—they’re learning opportunities. They’re a chance to step back, understand what happened, and use that knowledge to keep moving forward.

Your progress is not erased by one tough moment or even a series of them. Growth doesn’t come from perfection; it comes from showing up, learning, and trying again.

Journal Prompts for Reflection

Take a few minutes to reflect on how you handled anxiety over the holidays. Use these questions to guide your thoughts:

• What did I handle well this holiday season?

• What felt the most challenging, and why?

• What can I do differently next time to feel more confident or prepared?

As you reflect, approach yourself with kindness and curiosity—not criticism. Think of this as gathering information, not judging yourself.

Learning from Challenges

You have a choice in how you view your challenges. You can get upset with yourself for how you handled a situation (or blame others for making it difficult). But let’s be honest—that approach won’t help you move forward.

Instead, let these challenges be fuel for motivation to keep working on yourself. Every difficult moment is a reminder of why you’re working to face your fears and resist anxiety or OCD’s rules.

Maybe you felt overwhelmed at a family gathering and spent most of it ruminating over a comment someone made. Or perhaps your anxiety was so high that you had to leave early or even say no to the gathering altogether.

That’s okay. These moments aren’t failures—it’s just information. Information about where you’re at right now and what you need to continue to work on.

Reflect on them. What can you take away? What can you try differently next time?

Practical Tips for Moving Forward

The holidays don’t define you or your journey. What matters is what you choose to do next.

• Stop self-criticism: If you’ve been hard on yourself, make the decision right now to stop. Instead, remind yourself: “I did the best I could with what I thought I could at the time.”

• Identify one small action to regain momentum: This could be practicing mindfulness for a few minutes, journaling your thoughts, or setting a boundary with family or friends. Choose one step that feels manageable and take it.

Every action, no matter how small, is a step toward growth and resilience.

Conclusion

The holidays are just one part of your journey—they don’t define it. Setbacks are simply reminders of the work you’re already doing and the progress you’re capable of making.

Be kind to yourself as you reflect, learn, and move forward. You’re not alone, and you don’t have to figure this out on your own.

If you’re ready to take the next step toward navigating anxiety or OCD with more peace and confidence, let’s talk.

Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation with one of our therapists to explore how we can support you on your journey.

Reflecting on Your 2024 Journey with Anxiety and OCD

As the year winds down, it’s the perfect time to pause and reflect on the progress you’ve made with handling anxiety and OCD. Even if you’re not exactly where you hoped to be, you’ve likely made progress—whether you realize it or not. Sometimes, when you’re still struggling, it’s easy to lose sight of how far you’ve come. Let’s take a moment to recognize your growth and set intentions for the year ahead.

This reflection isn’t about perfection—it’s about progress. You don’t have to have everything figured out. Every small win, every step forward, every lesson learned from setbacks matters.

Why Reflection Matters

When you’re dealing with anxiety or OCD, it’s easy to focus on what’s not going well. Maybe you think, “I should have made more progress by now,” or “Why can’t I just get over this?” But beating yourself up won’t get you closer to where you want to be.

Here’s the truth: progress isn’t linear. Setbacks are part of the process, but they don’t erase the progress you’ve made. You’re building resilience with every challenge you face. Even if you had a setback, you didn’t lose what you’ve learned—you’re adding to it.

For example, if you struggle with emetophobia (fear of vomiting) and worked hard to eat at a restaurant for the first time in years, that win doesn’t disappear because you avoided another outing later. 

Or maybe you’re afraid of flying, and you needed medication to get on the plane…you were hoping to do it without medication, but the important win here is that you still got on the plane. 

Those are wins that count, and they build a foundation for future growth.

Take 20 minutes this week to reflect on your progress. Write it down in a notes app or a journal so you can look back on it when anxiety feels overwhelming.

Journal Prompts for Reflection

Here are some questions to guide you:

• What small victories have you achieved this year?
  Did you resist the urge to check for reassurance once? Did you let yourself feel anxiety during a tough moment instead of avoiding it?

• What challenges taught you the most?
  Maybe a setback helped you see where you need more support or what skills you want to build next year.

• What do you want to be different next year?
  Be as specific as possible.

• Vague: “I want to feel less anxious about germs.”

• Specific: “I want to reduce my handwashing by 50%.”

• What is one step you can take toward your goals in 2025?
  Maybe you want to start therapy, join a support group, or start a tracker to see your progress. 

Celebrating Wins (Big and Small)

Progress doesn’t have to be dramatic to matter. Every step counts. 

Did you practice sitting with discomfort for just 30 seconds longer than usual? Did you say no to an OCD compulsion once, even though it felt scary? 

These are huge wins because they’re part of building your ability to handle anxiety or OCD over time.

For example, if you’re working on reducing avoidance, and you managed to stay in the grocery store for 5 minutes even though your anxiety was high, that’s something to celebrate. Recognizing these moments helps shift your mindset from “I’m not getting better” to “look how far I’ve come.”

Setting Goals for 2025

I’m a huge fan of New Year’s resolutions, but I think there’s even more value in setting aside time to reflect on where you are and where you want to go. And this shouldn’t just happen once a year—checking in 2-3 times throughout the year can help you stay grounded and focused.

When it comes to setting goals, focus on things you can realistically achieve. Aim for small, actionable steps that move you closer to your larger goals.

Here are a few ideas:

• Practice mindfulness 3 times a week to help you stay present during moments of anxiety.

• Face one small fear each month, like walking into a crowded space or letting a worry pass without seeking reassurance.

• Track your wins in a journal or your phone app so you can see your growth over time.

Remember, it’s not about setting perfect goals—it’s about taking small, consistent steps that align with what matters most to you.

Take the Next Step

You don’t have to do this alone. If you’re ready to make 2025 a year of more peace and calm, let’s talk.

Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation with one of our therapists to explore how we can support you on your journey. Whether it’s managing anxiety, OCD, or life’s challenges, we’re here to help you take the next step toward a calmer, more confident future. Click here to schedule a free 15 minute phone consultation.

Your Holiday Overwhelm Survival Guide

Sometimes the holidays feel chaotic—like, “running around like a chicken with your head cut off” kind of chaotic. You’ve got a million tasks, half a plan, and zero time to breathe. Something’s got to give, but what? Will it be work, the kids, your health, or (gulp) your last shred of sanity?

Feeling like you're drowning in tasks is as universal as that ugly holiday sweater everyone pretends to love. But don’t panic—I’ve got your back with simple, no-nonsense strategies, a free worksheet, and an audio track to help you navigate this chaos with grace (or at least less panic).

1. Communication is Queen

If you’re drowning, don’t suffer in silence—ask for help! Whether it’s your partner, family, or friends, let them know how you are feeling and what you need. 

Be specific about what would make a difference:

• “Mom, can you take the kids overnight so I can catch up?”

• “Babe, can you handle groceries this week?”
  
  

People want to help, but they can’t read your mind. Asking for what you need is hard, but so necessary—and it might just save your sanity.

2. Rethink Work-Life Balance

We hear it all the time: “Find balance!” But let’s be real—balance is a myth, especially during chaotic seasons. Instead, try reframing your situation.

Ask yourself:

• Is this a temporary season of life?

• Can I let go of the expectation that I need to do it all right now?

If chaos feels like your current normal, remember—it’s temporary. Lean on your loved ones, set realistic expectations, and take things one step at a time. Balance isn’t the goal; surviving (and maybe even thriving) is.

3. Brain Dump Your Chaos

When the to-do list in your head feels like a hundred ping pong balls, a brain dump is your best friend. Write down:

• All your thoughts

• Every task

• Every worry

Get it all out on paper—it doesn’t have to be pretty. The goal is to clear mental space so you can focus. Bonus: I’ve created a free worksheet to guide you through this process (you’ll find it below!).

4. Categorize and Conquer (or Not)

Once you’ve dumped it all, it’s time to triage. Look at each task and decide:

• Keep it: Must be done.

• Eliminate it: It’s not worth your time.

• Modify it: Find a shortcut.

• Delegate it: Someone else can handle this.

For example, if you’re supposed to bring a dish to a party but life’s thrown you a curveball, ditch the elaborate recipe and buy something pre-made. Costco’s deli section is a lifesaver. Trust me—no one’s going to care, and your sanity is worth it.

5. Own Your Choices

Sometimes, chaos can be joyful—if it aligns with your values. If a task sparks joy (thanks, Marie Kondo!), choose to embrace it, even if it adds to the circus.

For example, I love cooking with my kids. Is it messy? Yes. Is it less efficient? Absolutely. But the memories we make are worth the chaos, and I wouldn’t trade them for anything.

When you own your choices, you turn overwhelm into intentional chaos. It’s no longer about what you have to do but what you choose to do.

The Lifeline You’ve Been Waiting For

I’ve created the Undo List Worksheet to help you effectively sort those endless tasks, so you can feel a whole lot lighter this holiday season. Plus, you’ll get my 2-Minute Guided Audio Track for those moments when you just need a break.

Totally free.

Download your free Undo List Worksheet and 2 Minute Guided Meditation Audio Track now—because everyone needs a break sometimes…even circus performers!

Grab Your Worksheet+Audio Track Here

Email Me the Undo List

Start the New Year Ready to Fly: Tackling Flight Anxiety in 2025

Another year has come and gone. Hello, 2025! As you reflected on last year, maybe there was some sadness about the opportunities to travel you missed out on.

You dream of hopping on a plane without a second thought, ready to see all that this world has to offer. But the fear is still there.

This year can be different. Let’s talk about how you can set yourself up for success in 2025, so fear doesn’t hold you back from living your life fully.

Understanding Flight Anxiety

If you’ve ever felt gripped by fears of turbulence, takeoff, or losing control while flying, you’re not alone. These fears are incredibly common—and, the good news is, they’re manageable.

But managing flight anxiety doesn’t mean waking up one day and simply being over it. It requires focused effort and intentional action. (And I know you’re not afraid of a little hard work!) The payoff—freedom to travel—will be worth it.

The key isn’t about “getting rid of” the fear; it’s about learning to face it with tools that make it easier. If you’re ready to stop letting fear dictate your desire to travel, now is the time to take action.

Practical Strategies to Build Confidence

1. Exposure Practice
Exposure helps retrain your brain to see flying as safe, not something to fear or avoid. You can gradually build confidence by confronting your fears in small, manageable steps. For flight anxiety, exposure might look like:

• Watching videos of takeoff and landing.

• Listening to in-flight sounds like engine noise or cabin announcements.

• Visiting an airport to familiarize yourself with the environment.

• Practicing related fears, like heights or feeling “trapped,” by riding an elevator or a rollercoaster.

2. Mindfulness Techniques
Mindfulness is one of the most powerful tools for managing anxiety. It keeps you grounded in the present moment, helping you stay with your thoughts and feelings instead of running from them. When practiced regularly—especially outside of flying—mindfulness can make it easier to manage the “what-ifs” that fuel anxiety.

For example, if turbulence triggers your anxiety, try this grounding technique:

• Notice your surroundings by naming things around you that you can see, feel, hear, and smell. Like the sensation of the seat beneath you, the hum of the cabin, the rhythm of your breathing. 

3. Create an In-Flight Toolkit
Everyone handles flight anxiety differently, so finding what works for you is key. Build a personalized toolkit with strategies that help you stay calm and keep your mind occupied. Having a plan in place can make flying feel less intimidating and help you build confidence for your next trip.

Consider including:

• Affirmations like, “I can handle this moment.”

• Calming playlists (or even upbeat, motivational music).

• Noise-canceling headphones to block out triggers.

• Distractions like puzzles, books, or podcasts.

Reframing Setbacks and Progress

If you’ve had bad experiences with flying before, it’s understandable that the fear feels stronger. But setbacks don’t mean failure. They’re part of the process.

Think of it like getting back into a car after an accident—it’s not easy at first, but avoiding it only makes the fear grow stronger. Similarly, with flying, avoiding the experience reinforces the fear and makes it harder to break free.

Start small. Maybe that’s learning about flight safety or practicing coping skills at home. The longer you wait, the more daunting it may feel—but every small step adds up.

Personally, I’ve struggled with flight anxiety, and one of the most important parts of my progress has been committing to fly regularly. Every flight builds my confidence and provides proof that flying is safe. Small wins, like watching a flight video or booking a short trip, lead to long-term growth.

Encouragement for the Year Ahead

Every flight you take is an opportunity to practice courage and build resilience. 2025 can be the year you reclaim your freedom to travel.

It won’t happen overnight, but just imagine where you could be six months from now if you make tackling your fear of flying a priority. Whether that means visiting family, taking your dream vacation, or exploring new adventures, it’s absolutely within reach. I see it happen with my clients all the time, and I know you can do it too.

Conclusion

This year, take small, intentional steps toward managing flight anxiety. Whether it’s seeking therapy, enrolling in a fear of flying course, or simply starting with exposure practice at home, you don’t have to do this alone.

If you need support, State of Mind Therapy is here to help. We offer online courses and individual therapy designed to help you gain confidence and overcome flight anxiety.

Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation to learn how we can help you take the first steps toward your travel goals. Click here to schedule today.

Why Avoiding Anxiety Makes It Worse (and How to Finally Break Free)

We’ve All Tried to Push Anxiety Away

We’ve all been there—feeling overwhelmed by anxiety and desperately trying to make it stop. Maybe you’ve distracted yourself with endless scrolling on your phone, filled your calendar to avoid downtime, or even leaned on “quick fixes” like a glass of wine to take the edge off. It’s a natural response. After all, who wouldn’t want to escape the muscle tension, racing thoughts, or sleepless nights that anxiety brings?

But here’s the problem: those quick fixes don’t actually fix anything. In fact, they often make things worse. The more we try to avoid anxiety, the more it seems to stick around.

Why?

Because avoidance isn’t the solution—it’s part of the problem.

What Is Experiential Avoidance (and Why Does It Backfire)?

In the world of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), there’s a term for this: experiential avoidance (EA). EA happens when we try to avoid or suppress uncomfortable thoughts, feelings, or sensations instead of allowing ourselves to feel them.

Think about it like holding a beach ball underwater. At first, it might seem manageable, but the longer you hold it down, the harder it gets. Eventually, the ball shoots up with even more force than before. Anxiety works the same way—the more we push it away, the stronger it bounces back.

When I was deep in my own anxiety battle, I’d do anything to avoid feeling it. I’d distract myself with social media, obsessively research anxiety “cures,” and keep myself so busy that I barely had time to think. And for a while, it worked—until it didn’t. Instead of making me feel better, these strategies only made my anxiety worse.

Why Avoidance Feels Good in the Moment

Avoidance works… at least in the short term. It can give you a temporary sense of relief, like pressing snooze on an alarm clock. But just like that alarm, anxiety doesn’t go away—it just comes back after a while.

ACT research shows that the more we avoid our uncomfortable internal experiences, the more we suffer. Why? Because avoidance teaches your brain that anxiety is dangerous, something to be feared and escaped. The cycle only reinforces itself.

How to Break Free from the Avoidance Trap

So, if avoidance isn’t the answer, what is? The key lies in opening up to your anxiety instead of fighting it. This doesn’t mean giving in to it or letting it control you—it means learning to let it exist without judgment or resistance.

Here’s how to start:

1. Name the Feeling.
   The next time anxiety shows up, pause and acknowledge it. Try saying, “I notice I’m feeling anxious right now.” Naming your feelings can help create distance and reduce their intensity.

2. Practice Acceptance.
   Remind yourself that anxiety isn’t dangerous—it’s just your brain’s way of trying to protect you. You don’t have to like it, but you can allow it to be there.

3. Focus on Your Values.
   Instead of spending your energy trying to get rid of anxiety, ask yourself, “What matters most to me right now?” Then take one small step in that direction, even if anxiety comes along for the ride.

   Shifting Your Mindset: Anxiety as Necessary Medicine

What if we thought of anxiety differently? Instead of seeing it as a problem to fix, we could view it as a necessary part of growth. Like working out at the gym, facing anxiety is uncomfortable, but it makes you stronger.

The next time you feel the pull to avoid, try telling yourself:

• “This is what it feels like to get better.”

• “This is the exact feeling I need to practice handling right now.”

Reframing anxiety this way can help you approach it with curiosity and even a little bit of gratitude for the opportunity to grow.

Living with Anxiety (Instead of Fighting It)

When we stop avoiding anxiety, something incredible happens: it starts to lose its grip on us. That doesn’t mean you’ll never feel anxious again, but it does mean you can live a full, meaningful life even when anxiety tags along.

Think of anxiety as a passenger in your car. You don’t have to like it, but you also don’t have to let it drive. As you practice sitting with anxiety instead of pushing it away, you’ll start to see it for what it really is—just another part of your experience, not the whole story.

Take the First Step

Breaking free from the avoidance trap isn’t easy, but it’s worth it. Start small. The next time anxiety shows up, name it, accept it, and take one step toward what matters most to you. Over time, you’ll discover that anxiety doesn’t have the power to hold you back—unless you let it.

Remember: freedom from anxiety doesn’t mean getting rid of it—it means learning to carry it lightly. You’ve got this.

If you are avoiding anxiety and want to begin therapy with State of Mind Therapy, click here to schedule a free 15 minute phone consultation.

Blog written by Justin Matthews, LICSW

Dreading the Chaos of Thanksgiving? 3 Simple Steps to Stay Grounded

Thanksgiving is here, and while it’s meant to be a joyful time, it can feel anything but. Being out of your comfort zone—whether it’s traveling, facing family pressures, or managing expectations—can turn the holiday into a breeding ground for anxiety. The good news? It doesn’t have to.

You don’t need to let anxiety steal the joy this season has to offer. Here’s how to navigate common triggers with calm, confidence, and flexibility.

Step 1: Acceptance

Anxiety often shows up with a long list of “rules”:

• “You can’t handle this if you’re not in control.”

• “What if something goes wrong?”

• “You need to do everything perfectly.”

Start by acknowledging the anxiety when it shows up. Instead of fighting it, try saying:

• “Here’s anxiety, telling me I need to control everything.”

• “I don’t have to like this feeling, but I can let it be here.”

When you accept that anxiety may show up, you free yourself from its grip. It’s just a feeling—it doesn’t have to define your experience.

Step 2: Reframe

Anxiety likes to tell you that unless you control everything, you won’t be okay. That’s simply not true. You can handle discomfort, even when things don’t go perfectly.

Try reframing anxious thoughts:

• Instead of: “I need everything to be perfect.”
  Try: “Connection matters more than perfection.”

• Instead of: “What if something goes wrong?”
  Try: “I may not control everything, but I can handle it.”

Flexibility isn’t a failure—it’s an opportunity to focus on what truly matters: connection, joy, and the moments that make Thanksgiving meaningful.

Step 3: Challenge Yourself in Small Ways

Anxiety often convinces us that we need to follow its rules 100% or risk falling apart. But the truth? You don’t have to choose between “all or nothing.” Growth happens in small, manageable steps.

Ask yourself:

• “Where can I challenge anxiety, even in the slightest way?”

• “What’s one small step I can take to push back against anxiety’s grip?”

For example:

• If you feel pressure to make everything perfect, delegate one task—even if it means things might get messy.

• If germs are a concern, try taking precautions without following every anxious ritual.

• If family dynamics feel overwhelming, commit to staying present for just one moment at a time.

Each time you challenge anxiety’s rules, you build confidence. Can you imagine how it would feel to go against anxiety’s grip and see that everything turns out just fine?

Remember This

Anxiety loves to convince you that you can’t handle things unless you’re in control. But you are capable. You may not control every aspect of Thanksgiving, but you can handle whatever comes your way.

This holiday, it’s not about eliminating anxiety—it’s about showing up anyway. Each small step away from anxiety’s rules is a step toward freedom and joy.

You’ve got this. Anxiety may try to call the shots, but you have the power to push back. This Thanksgiving, embrace flexibility, let go of control, and focus on creating memories.

Final Thoughts

Imagine sitting at the Thanksgiving table feeling calm and connected. No overthinking, no spiraling—just being in the moment. That’s the holiday you deserve, and it’s within your reach.

Take it one step at a time, and remind yourself: “I may not control everything, but I can handle it.”

Anticipation Anxiety Explained: Why It Happens and What You Can Do

That overwhelming feeling of dread that creeps in days or even weeks before something important—it's called anticipation anxiety. Unlike typical pre-event nerves, anticipation anxiety can feel like a mental tug-of-war, making you question your plans, consider backing out, and lose precious sleep. It’s the kind of worry that can gnaw at you and cast a shadow on even the most exciting occasions.

Understanding Anticipation Anxiety

Anticipation anxiety isn’t just about being nervous—it’s the anxious buildup that happens when we fixate on upcoming situations, like travel, presentations, or even doctor visits. The mind starts playing out “what if” scenarios, almost like watching a horror movie in your head. The details can become so vivid and consuming that you’re left feeling drained before the event even happens. This cycle can be hard to break, especially without clear guidance on how to disrupt it.

The Science Behind Anticipation Anxiety

Why does the brain fixate on worst-case scenarios? It’s part of our brain’s survival programming. In the past, this instinct helped keep us safe from threats. But now, even modern-day events—like taking a flight or speaking in front of a crowd—can set off that same response. Our Calm Before Takeoff Workshop dives into how this response shapes our thoughts and offers strategies to counter it.

When you anticipate a stressful situation, your brain signals that you’re in “danger” mode, flooding your body with energy to prepare for action. Even just thinking about a big trip or public speaking can activate this response, convincing you that you shouldn’t do it. And because our minds are naturally inclined to notice patterns, the more often you feel anxious about something, the faster your brain is to react the next time.

Can You Treat Anticipation Anxiety? Absolutely!

Good news: anticipation anxiety isn’t a disorder—it’s a pattern. And patterns can be changed. Evidence-based therapies like ERP, CBT, and ACT offer powerful ways to disrupt this cycle. Our workshop walks anxious flyers through techniques inspired by these therapies to help you start reducing anxiety.

• Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP): By gradually facing the fears that trigger your anxiety, ERP helps you learn that the worst-case scenario rarely happens.

• Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT): ACT encourages you to get a little distance from anxious thoughts, helping you learn to “thank” your mind when it sends scary signals.

• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): CBT helps you examine whether your worst-case thoughts are as realistic as they feel.

  In our workshop, we teach students how to practice techniques like these to help you stay grounded, even when anxiety kicks in.

How to Handle Anticipation Anxiety Right Now

When your mind starts racing through worst-case scenarios, mindfulness and self-compassion can bring you back to the present. Mindfulness keeps you focused on the here and now, helping you step away from the horror story playing in your head. Practicing mindfulness can train your brain to recognize when it’s spiraling and bring you back to reality.

Relaxation techniques can ease physical symptoms, like a racing heart or tense muscles. Though they don’t eliminate anxiety, they make the physical sensations less overwhelming, helping you stay calm.

Reframe Your Thoughts: When you catch yourself telling the scary story, try to remind yourself: “This is just a story. It’s not reality.”

Setting Realistic Goals and Expectations

Even with all these strategies, it’s natural to feel some anxiety. Managing anticipation anxiety is about progresOur workshopction. Each time you practice a skill or shift your mindset, you’re building resilience. Our Calm Before Takeoff workshop will help you practice specific strategies to manage the dreaded “what ifs” so you can stay committed to your plans without letting anxiety take over.

Moving Forward

Anticipation anxiety is manageable, and there’s a path to a calmer, more peaceful experience. Therapists trained in CBT, ACT, and ERP, like those at State of Mind Therapy, can guide you through this journey, offering tailored support and effective tools.

If you’re ready to start feeling more in control of your mind before big events, join me in my upcoming Calm Before Takeoff workshop. Together, we’ll cover the step-by-step strategies to tackle your anticipation anxiety and make even the scariest “what if” thoughts easier to manage.

Ready to Crush Anticipation Anxiety Before Your Next Flight?

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The Secret to a Calm Flight Starts Weeks Before You Take Off

Days and weeks before your flight can leave you in a “zombie” state, feeling completely consumed by worry. Feeling zapped of all your energy and unable to think about anything else is something I hear all the time from anxious flyers.

But here’s something you might not know: managing flight anxiety doesn’t begin when you step on the plane. The key to a calm flight starts much earlier. It all comes down to the work you put in during the days and weeks leading up to your trip.

The Power of Mindset Preparation

The good news? Feeling calm on flight day doesn’t have to be a last-minute scramble. By preparing your mind now, you can create the foundation for a smoother, more confident experience when the big day comes.

How Mindfulness Can Help

One of the most impactful ways to do this is through mindfulness. Mindfulness isn’t about trying to change or stop your thoughts—it’s about practicing how to come back to the present moment when your mind drifts to worried thoughts.

When we’re anxious, it’s easy to get stuck in spirals of “what if” scenarios. Mindfulness helps you gently guide your attention back to the here and now, creating a sense of calm and space between you and those anxious thoughts.

Try This Simple Mindfulness Practice

Here’s something you can try today: Set aside five minutes to sit quietly and focus on your breathing. When your mind drifts to worried thoughts (and it will), gently bring your attention back to what’s around you—what can you see, hear, and feel in this moment? This simple practice can calm your mind and help you stay more grounded.

When I work with fearful flyers in my programs, we often focus on skills for coming back to the present moment, and mindfulness is on of my favorite. It’s incredible to see how practicing this over time helps reduce worry and build confidence leading up to a flight.

What about you?

Have you tried using mindfulness to ease your pre-flight anxiety? Or is there something else that helps you feel more grounded? I’d love to hear what’s worked for you—drop your reply in the comments and let me know!

Remember, you can start managing your anxiety weeks before your flight by gently returning to the present moment whenever your mind drifts into worry. By practicing this now, you’ll make more mental space for calm and confidence on flight day.

You’ve got this!

If you need more help with flying anxiety,  Grab the Free Flight Anxiety Toolkit for my top 12 tips here for more ease on your next flight.

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From Overwhelmed to Hopeful: The Power of One Word

Anxiety can make you feel stuck, as if you're trapped in a cycle of worrying thoughts or avoidance behaviors that you just can’t break. Whether it's avoiding flying, feeling overwhelmed by emotions, or struggling to make decisions, these patterns of anxiety can feel like they're carved in stone.

But here’s the good news: there’s a simple, powerful tool that can help you shift your mindset and see the possibility for growth, even when change feels impossible. And that tool, my friend, is the word “yet.”

The Power of Yet is simple but oh, so powerful. Instead of saying, “I’m not good at handling my anxiety,” try saying, “I’m not good at handling my anxiety yet.” That one little word opens the door to progress. It’s a reminder that just because you’re not where you want to be today doesn’t mean you’ll never get there. You are on your way, and it’s important to recognize that.

Feeling Stuck Is Part of the Process

If you’ve ever felt stuck in your anxiety, you’re not alone. In fact, it’s a normal part of the process. So many of my clients share these same struggles:

• “I’m not good at handling my emotions.”

• “I can’t deal with turbulence.”

• “I don’t like flying and I’ll never be able to enjoy it.”

• “I’m not good at sitting with discomfort.”

• “I’m not confident in my ability to make decisions.”

• “I can’t say no to OCD.”

These thoughts are rooted in fear and doubt. And while they feel heavy, they’re not permanent. The word “yet” adds a sense of possibility. It’s a small but powerful reminder that you are capable of growth.

Shifting From Fixed to Growth Mindset

When you embrace the Power of Yet, you make room for growth—no matter where you are in your journey. Instead of being stuck in the mindset of “I can’t,” you can shift to “I can’t yet.” This subtle change helps you approach challenges with more patience, knowing that skills take time to develop.

Here’s how you can reframe common anxiety-related thoughts using the Power of Yet:

• Instead of: "I’m not good at handling my emotions."
  Try: "I’m not good at handling my emotions yet, but I’m working on building that skill every day."

• Instead of: "I’ll never be able to relax during a flight."
  Try: "I haven’t been able to relax during a flight yet, but I’m taking steps toward feeling more comfortable."

• Instead of: "I can’t handle turbulence."
  Try: "I can’t handle turbulence yet, but I’m learning tools to manage my fear."

• Instead of: "I’m not good at sitting with discomfort."
  Try: "I’m not good at sitting with discomfort yet, but I know I can build that muscle over time."

• Instead of: "I don’t trust myself to make decisions."
  Try: "I’m not confident in my decision-making yet, but I’m working on trusting my judgment."

• Instead of: "I can’t say no to OCD."
  Try: "I haven’t been able to say no to OCD yet, but I’m learning how to resist compulsions and sit with discomfort."

Practical Strategy: Create a Daily Affirmation Practice

Now that you understand the power of yet, it’s time to start using it in your daily life. I get it, this likely isn’t a mindset that comes naturally. It takes practice and intentionality to make the shift—but that’s where daily practice can make all the difference.

Here’s how you can create a simple daily affirmation practice to build the Power of Yet into your routine:

1. Identify areas where you feel stuck: Write down the thoughts that make you feel like you’re not making progress, such as "I can’t manage my anxiety."

2. Add 'yet': Reframe each thought by adding "yet" to the end. For example, "I can’t manage my anxiety yet, but I’m learning strategies to cope."

3. Repeat: Say these new statements out loud every day, preferably in the morning, to start your day with a growth-oriented mindset. Or, record yourself reading them and listen while you go about your day.

4. Track your progress: Over time, notice how your thinking shifts. Even small changes are signs of growth.

Reflective Questions: Embrace the Possibility of Growth

Incorporating the Power of Yet into your life can make a huge difference in how you approach challenges. But it’s also important to take time to reflect on where you might be holding yourself back. Consider these questions to keep you moving forward:

• In what areas of your life do you feel stuck?

• How might adding the word “yet” to your thoughts create a new sense of possibility for you?

• What’s one area where you’ve already made progress, even if it feels small?

• How can you be more patient with yourself as you work toward your goals?

Conclusion

Feeling stuck is a normal part of working through anxiety, but it doesn’t mean you’re destined to stay there. The Power of Yet reminds you that you are capable of change, even when it feels like you’re not. By shifting your language and mindset, you open the door to growth, possibility, and a more compassionate relationship with yourself.

Remember, progress takes time. Be patient with yourself, and keep adding "yet" to your journey.

Ready to work with an anxiety therapist?

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How to Talk Back to Your Flight Anxiety

When anxiety shows up before or during a flight, it can feel overwhelming. It’s like that annoying relative who won’t stop giving you advice that you never asked for.

But guess what?

You don’t have to listen!

Talking back to your flight anxiety is one of the most effective ways to take control and feel empowered. By challenging the anxious thoughts, you remind your mind who’s really in charge—you!

Here are 15 powerful things you can say to talk back to your anxiety and regain control:

15 Ways Talk Back to Flight Anxiety

• "Hey, anxiety, I’m not falling for your tricks today!"
  Anxiety loves to tell you that something is wrong, but you know better. This phrase lets your mind know that you’re not buying into the fear.

• "You can’t stop me—I’m stronger than you think!"
  Remind yourself that you’ve faced challenges before, and you’ve made it through. Anxiety may show up, but it doesn’t have the final say.

• "I’ve flown before, and I can do it again."
  You’ve already proven you can handle flying, and this time is no different. Use this to remind yourself of past successes.

• "Nice try, anxiety, but I’m still going on this adventure!"
  Anxiety tries to convince you to back out, but you’ve got a trip to enjoy! This phrase empowers you to stay excited about your journey.

• "I’m the boss here, not you!"
  Put anxiety in its place. You’re the one making the decisions, not your fears.

• "Feeling nervous? That’s okay, but I’m in charge now."
  Acknowledge that feeling anxious is normal, but you’re still in control of what happens next.

• "I know you’re just trying to scare me, but I won’t listen."
  Anxiety often tries to frighten you, but you don’t have to give in. This phrase helps you create some distance between your feelings and your actions.

• "You can’t keep me from having fun!"
  Remind yourself that you’re flying for a reason—whether it’s an exciting trip or seeing loved ones. Anxiety won’t take that away from you.

• "I see what you’re doing, but I’m not afraid of you."
  By calling out your anxiety, you take away its power. You can acknowledge its presence without letting it control you.

• "I’ve got my deep breaths ready—watch me stay calm!"
  You’ve got tools, like deep breathing, to help you manage. Remind yourself that you’re prepared to handle the situation.

• "You’re just a feeling, and feelings don’t control me!"
  Feelings come and go, but they don’t have the power to dictate your actions. You’re stronger than that.

• "You can show up, but I’m still getting on this plane."
  Anxiety may tag along, but you’re still following through with your plans. You don’t need to feel 100% calm to take action.

• "Nope, anxiety, you’re not winning today!"
  Sometimes, the best way to handle anxiety is with a firm “no.” This statement reinforces your decision to move forward.

• "I’m brave enough to fly, even if you try to stop me."
  Courage isn’t the absence of fear—it’s acting even when fear is present. Remind yourself that you’re brave enough to do this.

• "I’ve got all the tools I need, so back off, anxiety!"
  You’re equipped with skills like deep breathing and grounding techniques. You’ve got this under control.

Final Thoughts: When anxiety shows up, it doesn’t get to decide how your flight goes—you do. Talking back to your anxiety is a powerful way to take charge and remind yourself of your own strength. Whether you’re at the gate, mid-flight, or dealing with pre-flight nerves, these phrases can help shift your mindset and keep you grounded (hopefully not literally grounded, because I want you in the air!).

You’ve got this!

If you need more help with flying anxiety,  Grab the Free Flight Anxiety Toolkit for my top 12 tips here for more ease on your next flight.

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How to Manage Anxiety When You’re Afraid of Flying

Flying can feel overwhelming, especially if you struggle with flight anxiety. You’re not alone—so many people face the same fear. Whether it’s the thought of being trapped in the air, turbulence, or worrying about things going wrong, your mind tends to latch onto worst-case scenarios.

But here’s the thing: while flying may trigger your anxiety, it doesn’t have to be something you dread or stop you from traveling all together.

Here are four powerful strategies to help you manage your fear of flying, so you can get on that plane with more confidence and less panic:

1. Remember: Thoughts Are Not Facts

When you’re anxious, your mind can be filled with “what ifs” and worst-case scenarios—“What if I panic mid-flight? What if the plane isn’t safe?” While these thoughts can feel very real, they are just thoughts. They aren’t facts, and they don’t predict the future.

Example:
You’re sitting at the gate, and the thought crosses your mind: “What if there’s turbulence?” Or “what if I have a panic attack and I lose control?” Recognize that this is just your anxiety speaking. Acknowledge the thought without judgment—"Okay, I’m having this thought, but it doesn’t mean it’s going to happen." You can choose not to engage with it or let it dictate your experience.

Quick Tip:
Whenever an anxious thought pops up, practice saying, “This is just a thought, not a fact.” Over time, this practice helps you take the power away from those thoughts.

2. Allow Yourself to Be Uncomfortable

One of the hardest things about flying anxiety is the constant need to feel comfortable and in control. But the truth is, the more you strive for comfort, the more anxious you become. Real relief comes when you let yourself be okay with discomfort.

Example:
Turbulence hits, and your heart starts racing. You immediately feel the urge to tighten your grip on the armrests or control your surroundings. Instead, try this: say to yourself, “It’s okay to feel uncomfortable right now. I can handle these feelings.” 

Quick Tip:
Practice allowing the discomfort to exist without trying to get rid of it. The more you practice sitting with the anxiety, the less power it holds over you.

3. Focus on What You Can Control

When you’re anxious about flying, it’s easy to focus on things beyond your control—like the weather, turbulence, or what’s happening in the cockpit. But this only fuels your anxiety. Instead, shift your focus to the things you can control.

Example:
You can’t control the weather or the movements of the plane, but you can control how you prepare for the flight. Create a calming playlist, bring a good book, or practice deep breathing exercises during takeoff. These small actions can make a big difference in how you feel during the flight.

Quick Tip:
Ask yourself, “What can I control in this moment?” When you focus on these small, manageable tasks, you take back some of the power that anxiety tries to steal from you.

4. Direct Your Attention Away from the Fear

Anxiety wants you to focus all of your attention on the fear. It’s like shining a flashlight directly on the worst-case scenario. But the truth is, you control the flashlight—you can choose where to focus your attention. It’s not easy when your anxiety is spiked, but when you are intentional you can continue to redirect back to the present moment.

Example:
If you notice yourself fixating on every bump or noise during the flight, ask yourself, “Where am I pointing my flashlight right now?” Instead of shining it on the fear, direct your focus elsewhere—whether it’s a conversation with the person next to you, a movie you’re watching, or a breathing exercise you’ve practiced.

Quick Tip:
Remember, rumination (obsessively focusing on your fear) is like a marinade for anxiety—the longer you stew in it, the stronger it becomes. 

Flying can be scary, but by recognizing your anxious thoughts for what they are, allowing discomfort, focusing on what you can control, and directing your attention away from fear, you can manage your anxiety and fly with more peace.

Want even more specific strategies to overcome your fear of flying? Click here and I’ll send you personalized tips straight to your inbox.

If you need more help with flying anxiety,  Grab the Free Flight Anxiety Toolkit for my top 12 tips here for more ease on your next flight.

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3 Essential Grounding Techniques to Help You Regain Control When Anxiety Strikes

When anxiety strikes in high-stress situations—whether it's on a plane, in a crowded room, or right before a big presentation—your emotions can quickly spiral out of control. The good news? You have the power to regulate those emotions with specific skills that help you stay grounded and calm, no matter the situation.

These are strategies you can rely on whether you’re mid-flight, navigating a stressful social situation, or managing everyday anxiety.

1. TIPP: Lower Your Intense Emotions Fast

When anxiety peaks—especially during panic or extreme distress—your body goes into fight-or-flight mode, making it hard to think clearly. That’s where TIPP comes in. This DBT skill is designed to lower the intensity of your emotions quickly by using Temperature, Intense Exercise, Paced Breathing, and Progressive Relaxation.

How to Use TIPP:

• Temperature: When you're in a panic, holding your face in cold water (or splashing it) triggers the body’s dive reflex, slowing your heart rate and calming the nervous system.

• Intense Exercise: If you can, do something physically intense for 1-2 minutes—jumping jacks, running in place, or anything to burn off the excess energy from your anxiety.

• Paced Breathing: Slow, deep breathing helps regulate the body. Try inhaling for 4 counts, holding for 4, and exhaling for 6.

• Progressive Relaxation: Gradually tense and release muscle groups, starting from your toes and working up to your head, to relieve tension in your body.

Example for Flight Anxiety:

Lets say you are about to board a flight and feel panic creeping in. Step into the restroom and splash cold water on your face, take deep breaths, and do a few stretches or tense-and-release exercises before getting on the plane. Using TIPP helps lower your panic so you can board the flight feeling more in control. Need more flying anxiety tips? Check out our free flight anxiety toolkit. 

2. Dropping Anchor: Stay Grounded in the Present Moment

When your mind starts spinning with “what ifs” or spiraling thoughts, "Dropping Anchor" is a simple but powerful skill to pull you back into the present. The idea is to ground yourself by connecting with your body and your surroundings, helping you regain control when emotions feel like they're sweeping you away.

How to Drop Anchor:

• Acknowledge: Name and notice your current feelings. “Here is anxiety” or “here is tightness in my chest.” 

• Notice Your Surroundings: Look around you and observe what you see, hear, and feel in the moment.

• Engage Your Body: Push your feet into the floor, sit tall, and feel the sensations in your body. Move a little—stretch, roll your shoulders, or clench and release your fists to remind yourself of where you are.

Example for Public Speaking Anxiety:
Right before stepping up to speak, your mind races with fears of messing up. Drop anchor by feeling your feet firmly on the ground, taking a slow breath, and noticing the room around you. As you begin, stay connected to your body and surroundings, which will help keep your anxiety from taking over.

3. 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique: Bring Your Focus Back

When anxiety feels overwhelming and you're lost in your thoughts, the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique is a quick way to pull yourself out of your mind and into the present. This technique uses your senses to ground you, shifting your focus away from anxious thoughts and back to the here and now.

How to Use 5-4-3-2-1:

• 5: Look around and name 5 things you can see.

• 4: Notice 4 things you can touch (your clothes, the chair, your phone, etc.).

• 3: Listen for 3 sounds around you.

• 2: Identify 2 things you can smell.

• 1: Find 1 thing you can taste (even just the lingering taste of your last meal).

Example for Fearful Flyers:
Mid-flight, you start to feel panicked. Use the 5-4-3-2-1 technique to ground yourself: look around the cabin, feel the seatbelt, listen to the engines humming, notice the scent of your travel pillow, and focus on the taste of the drink you just had. By engaging your senses, you redirect your focus from the fear to the present.

Example for Intrusive Thoughts:
When intrusive thoughts begin to overwhelm you, use 5-4-3-2-1 to break the loop. Find 5 things you can see in the room, touch the chair you’re sitting on, notice the sound of your breath, identify the scent of the space you’re in, and focus on any taste you can notice. By actively engaging your senses, you shift your focus away from the intrusive thoughts and into the present.

Final Thoughts:

When anxiety hits, it can feel like everything is out of control. But by using these emotion regulation skills—TIPP to quickly regulate intense emotions, Dropping Anchor to stay grounded in the moment, and 5-4-3-2-1 to refocus your attention—you can regain control over your mind and body, no matter the situation.

P.S. We gave some helpful tips on flight anxiety in this blog. If you are looking for more specific strategies to manage flight anxiety, Click here and I’ll send you our free Flight Anxiety Toolkit right to your inbox.

Ready to work with an anxiety therapist?

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How Mindfulness Can Help You Manage Flight Anxiety

You know how it goes: you’re about to book a trip or about to board your plane, and anxiety is in full force.  It becomes hard to focus on the present moment because your mind is consumed by that pit in your stomach or the scary story playing in your head. 

Or you're on the plane and on the edge of your seat hyper aware of every sound and movement around you. 

You can’t seem to focus on anything else in front of you when the noise of anxiety is just. so. loud. 

This is where mindfulness can really help.

What is Mindfulness?

Mindfulness involves being fully present and aware of your current experience—whether it’s your thoughts, sensations, or surroundings—without judgment. It’s about acknowledging your experience as it is, without labeling it as good or bad.

For example, instead of thinking, “Oh no, here comes anxiety again, I hate this,” you would say, “Here’s anxiety” or “Here are some scary thoughts.” This non-judgmental observation helps to reduce the power that these thoughts and feelings have over you.

Mindfulness vs. Meditation

Many people confuse mindfulness with meditation. Meditation can be seen as a formal practice with the goal of becoming more mindful. But mindfulness does not have to be done formally. You can also practice mindfulness in your daily activities such as when walking, doing the dishes, eating, etc.

How Mindfulness Helps with Flight Anxiety

Mindfulness helps you manage anxious thoughts and feelings by allowing you to observe them without being swept away by them. It doesn’t eliminate anxiety, but it helps you handle it more effectively when it shows up. By practicing mindfulness, you can return to the present moment instead of being caught in an anxious spiral.

For instance, if you’re sitting on the plane and start to feel that familiar rush of fear, mindfulness can help you notice these sensations and thoughts without letting them take over. You might observe your heart racing, your palms sweating, and think, “I notice my heart is beating fast” or “I’m having the thought that something bad might happen,” instead of getting caught up in the fear.

Making Mindfulness a Practice

It’s important to remember that mindfulness isn’t a one-time fix. It’s a practice that you need to cultivate over time. Think of it like learning to play an instrument or training for a marathon. The more you practice, the better you become at it.

Don’t expect to practice mindfulness once or twice before a flight and have no anxiety on your flight. Give yourself plenty of time to understand and benefit from this skill. Regular practice will help you build resilience against anxiety and make it easier to stay grounded during your flight. I recommend daily practice for at least two weeks before your flight for the most benefit.

Practical Tips for Practicing Mindfulness

1. Start Small: Begin with just a few minutes of mindfulness each day. Focus on your breath, notice the sensations in your body, and observe your thoughts without judgment.

2. Use Mindfulness Apps: There are many apps available that offer guided mindfulness exercises. These can be especially helpful for beginners.

3. Present Moment Awareness: Focus on the here and now. Pay attention to the sounds around you, the feeling of your feet on the ground, or the sensation of your breath entering and leaving your body. When you notice other thoughts, sounds, or sensations come up, simply redirect your attention back to the present moment.

4. Mindfulness Exercises: Engage in mindfulness exercises such as body scans, where you focus on different parts of your body and notice any sensations without judgment.

5. Daily Integration: Incorporate mindfulness into your daily routine. Practice it while eating, walking, or doing chores. The goal is to make mindfulness a natural part of your life.

Conclusion

Mindfulness is a powerful tool to help manage flight anxiety. By regularly practicing mindfulness, you can learn to observe your anxious thoughts and feelings without being overwhelmed by them. This skill can help you stop losing sleep over anxious thoughts. Doesn’t that sound nice? 

If you’re ready to start managing your flight anxiety more effectively, sign up for our free Flight Anxiety Toolkit today. It's filled with 12 practical tips to help you feel more in control and confident during your flights.

If you need more help with flying anxiety,  Grab the Free Flight Anxiety Toolkit for my top 12 tips here for more ease on your next flight.

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How to Navigate Anxiety in Everyday Life—No Matter the Situation

Anxiety can be sneaky. One moment, you’re living your life, and the next, your mind is hijacked by worries, doubts, or fears. Sometimes anxiety pops up when you’re about to board a plane, other times when you’re about to give a speech, or maybe when you hear about norovirus making its rounds in your community. 

If you’re like many people I work with, your anxiety could revolve around specific fears—whether that’s a fear of flying, a fear of getting sick, or intrusive thoughts that make you question the kind of person you are. No matter the trigger, one thing is clear: anxiety wears many hats. But here’s the good news—it doesn’t have to control your life.

Let’s look at how anxiety shows up, and more importantly, what you can do about it in those difficult moments.

1. Recognize That Thoughts Are Not Facts

Anxiety loves to tell stories, but just because you think something, doesn’t mean it’s true. Your mind might race with worst-case scenarios, but those thoughts are just that—thoughts.

Example for the Anxious Flyer:
As you sit in the airport, waiting for your flight, your mind starts listing everything that could go wrong—turbulence, panic, feeling trapped. These are just possibilities, not realities. Practice saying, "These are just thoughts, not facts," and remind yourself that you're capable of handling discomfort without reacting to every anxious thought. Check out our flight anxiety toolkit for more effective strategies.

Example for Someone with Emetophobia (Fear of Vomiting):
When you hear about a stomach bug going around, your mind immediately jumps to “What if I get sick? What if I can’t stop it?” These thoughts may feel overwhelming, but they don’t predict the future. Remember, your brain is wired to protect you by imagining threats that may never happen.

Example for Those Struggling with Intrusive Thoughts:
You’re going about your day when suddenly, a disturbing thought pops into your mind: “What if I lose control? What if this means something about me?” These intrusive thoughts are not a reflection of your character. Let your actions define your real self, not your thoughts.

2. Allow Yourself to Be Uncomfortable

One of the biggest traps anxiety sets is the promise that you need to feel comfortable and certain to be okay. In reality, the more you try to avoid discomfort, the more anxious you become. True relief comes when you allow yourself to be uncomfortable.

Example for the Anxious Flyer:
Flying can bring a lot of uncertainty—delays, turbulence, confined spaces. Instead of trying to eliminate all discomfort, practice saying, "It’s okay to be uncomfortable right now." You don’t need certainty to feel safe. In fact, you already know this. In many other areas of your life you don’t require as much certainty.

Example for Someone with Emetophobia:
When you hear about an illness, it’s tempting to try and control everything—avoiding people, cleaning excessively, or researching symptoms. Instead, acknowledge that some discomfort is part of life. You can’t control every situation, but you can control how you respond. Practice sitting with that discomfort rather than scrambling to eliminate it.

Example for Those Struggling with Intrusive Thoughts:
Intrusive thoughts often leave you feeling unsettled and desperate for relief. Instead of trying to push the thoughts away, allow yourself to feel uncomfortable. The more you resist, the stronger they become. Practice saying, "I can tolerate this discomfort," and let the thought come and go without fighting it.

3. Focus on What You Can Control

Anxiety thrives when we focus on the things we can’t control. Instead, shift your attention to the aspects of the situation that are within your control. Let go of the rest.

Example for the Anxious Flyer:
While you can’t control turbulence or flight delays, you can control how you prepare for the flight. Bring things that calm you—your favorite podcast, a comforting snack, or a breathing exercise. Focus on these, and let go of trying to predict what might happen on the flight.

Example for Someone with Emetophobia:
You may not be able to control the presence of a stomach bug in your community, but you can control your own hygiene, rest, and stress management. Trying to control every potential risk is impossible, but you can focus on maintaining your own well-being.

Example for Those Struggling with Intrusive Thoughts:
You can’t control the random thoughts that pop into your mind, but you can control your reaction. Instead of engaging with the thought, remind yourself, "I don’t need to respond to every thought." You can choose to focus on something else—whether that’s an activity or a calming mantra like, "I can handle anything that comes my way."

4. Direct Your Attention Where It Serves You

Imagine your attention is like a flashlight—you control where to point it. When anxiety takes over, it’s as if the flashlight is focused directly on the fear. You get to choose to zoom out and redirect it.

Example for the Anxious Flyer:
When turbulence hits, your mind might fixate on the uncomfortable sensation and the “what ifs” that come with it. Instead of letting the flashlight focus on those fears, shift it to something within your control—maybe a breathing technique or visualizing your destination. Remind yourself, "I’m choosing where to point my attention."

Example for Someone with Emetophobia:
Anxiety might urge you to constantly check your body or your children for signs of illness. Instead of zooming in on every sensation, choose to focus your flashlight elsewhere. Maybe it’s a book you’re reading or a hobby you enjoy. The more you direct your attention, the less power anxiety has.

Example for Those Struggling with Intrusive Thoughts:
When an intrusive thought pops up, it’s easy to get stuck on it, replaying it over and over. But you have the power to redirect your focus. Picture yourself turning down the volume on the thought and shifting your focus to something neutral or calming. Your thoughts don’t have to control your attention.

Anxiety can feel overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to dictate your life. By recognizing that your thoughts are not facts, allowing discomfort, focusing on what you can control, and redirecting your attention, you can start to break the cycle of anxiety.

Want more specific tips on overcoming a fear of flying? Click here to grab free flight anxiety toolkit to get started. 

Ready to work with an anxiety therapist?

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Overcoming Flight Anxiety When Claustrophobia Takes Control

You've booked your dream vacation, the destination is perfect, and the itinerary is exciting. But then, reality hits you—the thought of getting on that plane sends a rush of fear through your body. 

The idea of being trapped, the doors shutting, and not being able to get out makes you feel like canceling the whole trip.

If this sounds familiar, you're not alone. Many people struggle with flight anxiety related to claustrophobia. But the good news is, there are ways to manage this fear and take back control.

Understanding Claustrophobia in the Context of Flying

It’s often misunderstood that fearful flyers are worried about the plane crashing. But there are many other reasons people fear flying. 

One reason is claustrophobia, or the fear of being trapped in small spaces. For some, the fear rushes in the moment the doors close and there's no way out. 

Others fear being held on the tarmac for hours. The thought of being confined without control over their environment can lead to an overwhelming sense of panic. Or maybe you worry about losing control of yourself and doing something embarrassing on the flight.

If you are looking for support while flying with Claustrophobia, it’s important to know that there are “in the moment” tips for flying and longer-term strategies that can help you become less fearful in small spaces (like flying). This blog will cover examples of both.

Mental Preparation

1. Reframe Your Thoughts: Stop telling yourself that you are stuck on this plane or trapped. Remember, you are CHOOSING to go on this flight. When the plane doors close, think of it as the step to getting where you need to go, not confinement.

2. Bust the Illusion of Control: In many areas of life, we accept things outside our control without much thought. Accepting that you don’t have to control everything can reduce the pressure you put on yourself and help manage your anxiety.

In-Flight Tips

1. Book an Aisle Seat: Having an aisle seat can provide a sense of space and control, making it easier to move around and lessening the feeling of being trapped.

2. Shift Your Perception of Space: Notice the space you do have on the plane. Notice the openness of the aisle, the space around your seat, and the environment outside the window. On a plane, you are free to move around….unlike in a car.

3. Controlled Breathing: Practice deep breathing exercises to calm your nervous system. Inhale slowly through your nose, hold for a few seconds, and exhale through your mouth.

Face Your Fear of Claustrophobia with Exposure

The most effective way to overcome your fear in the long run is to face your fears in small steps over and over again. 

When you repeatedly practice facing your fear, your brain starts to "get used to it" and stops firing off the danger alarm. It will start to recognize flying as low risk and stop trying to warn you of danger. 

One of the challenges with exposure and flight anxiety is that many people don't fly frequently enough, so that can make it more challenging to practice. 

And it doesn't help that flying is expensive, which can keep people from practicing frequently. However, there are ways around this, and working with a professional can help design exposure exercises that can be done even without buying a plane ticket.

Sample Exposures for Fear of Feeling Trapped

• Spend time in small, enclosed spaces like a bathroom stall or elevator.

• Sit in the back seat of a car for a short drive.

• Practice closing the door and staying in a room for a set period.

• Take short flights, gradually increasing the duration.

These are just a few examples of exposures. A therapist trained in exposure therapy will help create a personalized exposure menu that targets the right activities and guides the pace for the best results.

Conclusion

Flight anxiety related to claustrophobia can feel overwhelming, but with the right strategies and support, you can manage it effectively. Remember, you're not alone and you don’t have to figure this out on your own. Therapists trained in CBT and exposure therapy can provide personalized guidance to help you overcome your fear.

Need More Support With Your Fear of Flying?

If you need more help with flying anxiety,  Grab the Free Flight Anxiety Toolkit for my top 12 tips here for more ease on your next flight.

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Using Affirmations to Help with Flight Anxiety

If the thought of sitting in a plane makes you hyperventilate, it can leave you feeling defeated and overwhelmed. Many people grapple with the intense anxiety around flying despite their passion for travel.

Flight anxiety can be manageable with the right tools in place. Affirmations can be a powerful tool to help manage and reduce flight anxiety, allowing you to shift your mindset from hating flying to finding it enjoyable.

What Are Affirmations?

Affirmations are positive statements that you repeat to yourself to challenge and overcome negative thoughts. They help reframe your mindset and instill a sense of calm and confidence. Think of affirmations as mental conditioning – just like you would train your body, you can train your mind to respond differently to anxiety triggers.

How Affirmations Help with Flight Anxiety

Flight anxiety often involves focusing on worst-case scenarios and negative thoughts. This amplifies your fear and makes it feel uncontrollable. Affirmations help by redirecting your focus from these negative thoughts to positive, reassuring statements. Here’s how they work:

1. Shift Your Focus: Affirmations help shift your focus from fear-based thoughts to more positive and empowering ones.

2. Rewire Your Brain: By repeating affirmations, you start to rewire your brain to think more positively and calmly about flying.

3. Build Confidence: Affirmations can boost your confidence by reinforcing the belief that you can handle the flight and any anxiety that comes with it.

4. Reduce Anxiety: Consistent use of affirmations can reduce overall anxiety levels by creating a more positive mindset.

How to Implement Affirmations

Using affirmations effectively involves a few simple steps:

1. Choose Your Affirmations: Select affirmations that resonate with you and address your specific fears about flying. These should be positive, present-tense statements.

2. Repeat Regularly: Consistency is key. Repeat your affirmations daily, especially in the weeks leading up to your flight. Say them out loud, write them down, or even record yourself saying them and listen to the recording.

3. Visualize: As you say your affirmations, visualize yourself feeling calm and confident on the flight. This helps reinforce the positive message.

4. Use During the Flight: Have your affirmations handy during the flight. Repeat them to yourself if you start to feel anxious.

Sample Affirmations for Flight Anxiety

Here are a few examples of affirmations you can use:

• "I am calm and relaxed during my flight."

• "Flying is safe, and I trust the process."

• "I am in control of my thoughts and emotions."

• "I can handle any turbulence with ease."

• "I am excited about my journey and the destination."

Want to start using affirmations to conquer your flight anxiety? I’ve created a list of 20 ready-to-use affirmations specifically designed to help with flight anxiety. These affirmations can be your go-to tool to calm your nerves and build confidence before and during your flight.

Download the Flight Anxiety Affirmation Guide

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Conquering Anticipation Anxiety for Fearful Flyers

You decide you are going to book that vacation. You start to research flights and notice your stomach churn.

You can barely hit the "book now" button because the idea of getting on that plane makes this all feel like too much.

The weeks, days, and even hours leading up to a flight can be filled with dread and worry. This is what we call anticipation anxiety – it’s the mental anguish you experience before you do something you’re anxious or nervous about. It's a common struggle for many who fear flying.

Understanding Anticipation Anxiety

So, what triggers this anxiety? For many fearful flyers, the mere thought of getting on a plane can set it off. You might find yourself tangled up in knots, constantly imagining worst-case scenarios, feeling your heart race, and experiencing sleepless nights. It's like watching a horror movie in your head, where you are the star in a catastrophic event.

If you’re not sure what triggers your anxiety, try keeping a log for one week of when you feel anxious. Notice the symptoms of worry you experience before a flight. If you find yourself thinking "what if" and feeling a whirlwind inside your mind, take note. This can help you identify patterns and specific situations that trigger your anticipation anxiety.

The Science Behind Anticipation Anxiety

Ever wondered why some people are more prone to this type of anxiety? It's not just in your head; there are neurological factors at play. When you experience anxiety, your fight, flight, freeze system is activated. This is your survival system (and no, you can’t get rid of it….and you wouldn’t want to!).

When your brain perceives that something is a threat or dangerous – like flying – it sends signals to give you extra energy to run or fight. If you have a pattern of feeling anxious about flying, your brain has learned to go into fight, flight, or freeze mode even at the smallest reminder of flying.

But here's the thing: anticipation anxiety isn't a disorder on its own. It's a thinking pattern that often accompanies various anxiety disorders. Most people will say that the anticipation was worse than the actual flight.

Why?

Because when you're anticipating the worst-case scenario, you're devoting endless time and energy to imagining a catastrophic situation. But when you're actually on the flight, you're busy dealing with the real situation, leaving less room for those scary thoughts.

Can Anticipation Anxiety Be Treated?

Absolutely! There's hope, and evidence-based treatments like Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) can work wonders.

• ERP Therapy: Helps you face your fears step by step. Overtime, you learn that the scary story in your mind doesn’t usually happen. This help you to start seeing these thoughts and unimportant and untrue.

• Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT): Teaches you to create distance from anxious thoughts and commit to what’s important, like traveling to visit loved ones or creating new memories.

• CBT: Helps you examine the accuracy of your thoughts and find a more realistic and helpful way of viewing the situation. For instance, if you’re worried about a plane crash, CBT encourages you to consider the evidence and think about how many flights land safely every day.

How Can I Manage Anticipation Anxiety?

Managing anticipation anxiety effectively involves several strategies:

• Mindfulness: This is like a mental workout that helps you pull yourself back to the present moment when your mind starts spiraling into worst-case scenarios.

• Relaxation Techniques: These can ease the physical sensations of anxiety, like muscle tension and a rapid heartbeat.

• Cognitive Restructuring: Challenge catastrophic thoughts and see situations more realistically.

• Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. Acknowledge that these thoughts and feelings are tough but remember that you’re not alone and can handle this.

• Acknowledging the Scary Story: Recognize that your mind is playing a horror movie, and these thoughts are just stories, not reality.

Setting Realistic Goals and Expectations

It's essential to set realistic goals in your journey to overcome anticipation anxiety. Even with effective strategies, you might still feel anxious at times, and that's okay. It takes consistent effort and practice to learn new skills and habits.

So, as long as you keep practicing, you will make progress. The key is not to beat yourself up about it. Instead, acknowledge your anxiety and remind yourself that it's natural. With the right tools, you can handle it.

Conclusion

Here’s the good news: anticipation anxiety is treatable. If you find yourself struggling, don’t hesitate to seek help. Therapists trained in CBT, ACT, and ERP, like those at State of Mind Therapy, can guide you through this journey.

Need More Support With Your Fear of Flying?

If you need more help with flying anxiety,  Grab the Free Flight Anxiety Toolkit for my top 12 tips here for more ease on your next flight.

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A Simple Grounding Exercise to Help You Stay Present in the Moment

Are you constantly worrying about the future? Do you find yourself caught up in anxious thoughts that make it hard to focus on the here and now? You’re not alone. One effective way to manage these feelings is through grounding exercises. These exercises help anchor you to the present moment, reducing anxiety and helping you feel more in control. Today, I’ll guide you through a simple grounding exercise that you can use anytime you need to bring yourself back to the present.

The 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Exercise

This grounding exercise uses your five senses to help you stay grounded. The next time you feel overwhelmed by anxious thoughts, try using the following formula:

5 - LOOK

Look around for five things that you can see, and say them out loud. For example:

• "I see the computer."

• "I see the cup."

• "I see the picture frame."

4 - FEEL

Pay attention to your body and think of four things that you can feel, and say them out loud. For example:

• "I feel my feet warm in my socks."

• "I feel the hair on the back of my neck."

• "I feel the pillow I am laying on."

3 - LISTEN

Listen for three sounds. It could be the sound of traffic outside, the sound of typing, or the sound of your tummy rumbling. Say the three things out loud. For example:

• "I hear the birds chirping."

• "I hear the hum of the air conditioner."

• "I hear the clicking of the keyboard."

2 - SMELL

Say two things you can smell. If you’re able to, it’s okay to move to another spot and sniff something. If you can’t smell anything at the moment or you can’t move, then name your two favorite smells. For example:

• "I smell the fresh coffee."

• "I smell the scent of my lotion."

1 - TASTE

Say one thing you can taste. It may be the toothpaste from brushing your teeth, or a mint from after lunch. If you can’t taste anything, then say your favorite thing to taste. For example:

• "I taste the minty flavor from my toothpaste."

• "I taste the chocolate I had earlier."

Why Exercise Works for anxiety

Grounding exercises like this one are effective because they help shift your focus from your anxious thoughts to your physical surroundings. It gets you out of your head and into the present. By engaging your senses, you can break the cycle of worry and bring your attention back to the present moment. This not only helps reduce anxiety but also helps you feel more in control and less overwhelmed.

Conclusion

Incorporating grounding exercises into your daily routine can be a simple yet powerful way to manage anxiety and stay present. The 5-4-3-2-1 grounding exercise is easy to remember and can be done anywhere, anytime. Try it the next time you find yourself worrying about the future or caught up in anxious thoughts.

Remember, the goal is to stay connected to the present moment. Practice this exercise regularly, and you’ll find it easier to keep your worries at bay and focus on the here and now.

P.S. Don’t forget to download our 5 Steps to Live More, Worry Less for more helpful tips on handling anxiety. This guide is designed to help you take control of your anxiety and live a more fulfilling life.

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Conquering Your Fear of Flying with Exposure Therapy

If you have a fear of a plane crashing or the terrifying feeling of being trapped on a plane, flight anxiety can be overwhelming. But I'm here to tell you that there's hope.

Have you ever heard of exposure therapy? It’s a specific form of therapy to help you overcome a fear.

As a mental health therapist specializing in treating fear of flying using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and exposure therapy, I've seen firsthand how effective these treatments can be in helping people like you conquer their fears.

Why Exposure Therapy Works

Exposure therapy is a powerful method for treating phobias because it helps you gradually confront your fears in bite sized pieces. Instead of avoiding the things that make you anxious, exposure therapy encourages you to face them head-on. By doing so, you can desensitize yourself to the fear and reduce the anxiety over time.

When you consistently practice facing your fear, your brain begins to acclimate and stops triggering the alarm response. It starts to recognize flying as a low-risk activity and no longer perceives it as a threat.

However, one of the challenges with exposure therapy for flight anxiety is that many people don't fly often enough to retrain their brain effectively. Additionally, the high cost of flying can make it difficult to practice regularly.

Fortunately, there are alternative methods to address this issue. Working with a professional can help you design exposure exercises that simulate the flying experience, allowing you to practice and build resilience without the need to purchase a plane ticket.

Benefits of Exposure Therapy

• Desensitization: Gradual exposure helps reduce the intensity of your fear.

• Increased Confidence: Facing your fears head-on builds confidence and resilience.

• Long-term Relief: Unlike quick fixes, exposure therapy offers long-lasting results.

• Personal Empowerment: You take control of your fear, rather than letting it control you.

Sample Exposure Plan for Fear of Plane Crashing

How would exposure look in real life? Lets say you have a fear of the plane crashing so you avoid flying altogether, missing out on family vacations and work opportunities. Here's how a sample exposure plan might look:

1. Watch Videos: Start by watching videos of planes taking off and landing to become familiar with the process.

2. Visit the Airport: Spend time at the airport to get used to the environment without the pressure of flying.

3. Sit in a Stationary Plane: Take a tour of a plane on the ground to become comfortable with the interior.

4. Talk to Pilots: Have a conversation with pilots about how they handle various flying conditions.

5. Short Flights: Begin with short, local flights to gradually build confidence.

Sample Exposure Plan for Fear of Feeling Trapped

Now, let’s talk about how exposure therapy might work for someone who doesn’t fear the plane crashing, but fears they will be trapped on a plane and unable to escape.

Here’s a sample exposure plan for fear of feeling trapped:

1. Crowded Spaces: Start by spending time in crowded places like a city bus or concert to get used to being around many people.

2. Other places to practice: Car wash, public restroom, closet, etc.

3. Stationary Plane: Sit in a stationary plane to get comfortable with the interior environment.

4. Short Flights: Take short, local flights to practice staying calm while in the air.

Overcoming the Challenges

One of the main challenges with exposure therapy for flight anxiety is the infrequency of flying. It's hard to retrain the brain when you don't fly often enough. Plus, the cost of flying can make it difficult to practice regularly. This is where working with a professional becomes crucial. Together, we can design exposure exercises that simulate the flying experience and help you practice facing your fears even without getting on a plane.

Personalized Exposure Plans

The examples above are just a starting point. A therapist trained in exposure therapy will help create a personalized exposure menu designed to target the right activities and guide the pace for the best results. This tailored approach ensures that your exposure exercises are both effective and manageable, helping you to gradually build confidence and reduce anxiety.

Conclusion

Exposure therapy can lead to significant and lasting relief from flight anxiety. By facing your fears gradually and with the right support, you can reclaim your freedom and confidence when it comes to flying.

If you’re ready to start this journey and would like more personalized guidance, consider reaching out for a consultation. Together, we can create a plan that works for you and helps you take back control from your fear of flying.

Need More Support With Your Fear of Flying?

If you need more help with flying anxiety,  Grab the Free Flight Anxiety Toolkit for my top 12 tips here for more ease on your next flight.

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Dropping Anchor: A Helpful Tool for Handling Anxiety, Panic, and Other Big Feelings

When anxiety, panic, or other overwhelming emotions hit, it can be challenging to stay grounded. Whether it's anxiety, anger, shame, or any other intense feeling, these emotions can take over, making it hard to act effectively.

That’s where "Dropping Anchor," a tool from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), comes in handy.

This three-part exercise is designed to help you gain more control over your actions, reducing the impact or power of these big feelings. The goal isn’t to eliminate difficult thoughts or emotions but to help you manage them more effectively. Here’s how you can use the ACE method—Acknowledge, Connect, and Engage—to drop anchor and stay grounded.

ACE: Acknowledge, Connect, Engage

Acknowledge Your Thoughts and Feelings

Start by acknowledging your thoughts and feelings with curiosity and without judgment. This means noticing them in a matter-of-fact way, such as saying, “Here is worry,” or “I’m noticing a racing heart.” You can also be more general, like “Here are difficult thoughts/feelings” or “I’m noticing pain.”

This step is crucial because it helps you accept your experience without trying to distract yourself or avoid it. By naming your experience, you actively accept it and create some distance from it.

Connect with Your Body

Next, reconnect with your body through small movements. Try a gentle stretch, wiggle your toes and fingers, take a short walk, or shift in your chair. The key is to stay connected with your body while continuing to acknowledge your thoughts and feelings. This ensures that the exercise doesn’t turn into a distraction technique.

Engage in the World Around You

Finally, refocus and engage with an activity. This step helps you take effective action even when you’re experiencing difficult thoughts or feelings. Actively notice your environment by naming something you can see, hear, smell, touch, or taste.

Then, decide where to put your attention next to make the most of your situation. This could mean returning to work, taking the dog for a walk, or playing a game with your kids. The aim is to shift your focus to the present moment and engage fully with what you are doing.

Dropping Anchor Audio Recording

Practicing a new skill can be more effective when guided by audio rather than reading instructions. That’s why I’ve created an audio recording to help you practice dropping anchor.

Listening to this recording can make the process feel more natural and eventually, you’ll be able to perform the exercise on your own without needing the recording.

Get Access to the Dropping Anchor Audio Recording here.

Conclusion

Dropping anchor is a powerful tool for managing anxiety, panic, and other intense emotions. By using the ACE method—Acknowledge, Connect, and Engage—you can stay grounded and take effective action despite challenging thoughts and feelings. With practice, this skill will become second nature, helping you navigate life's storms with greater ease and resilience.

P.S. Don’t forget to download our 5 Steps to Live More, Worry Less for more helpful tips on handling anxiety. This guide is designed to help you take control of your anxiety and live a more fulfilling life.

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State of Mind Therapy in Bloomington can help. Click the button below to sign-up for your free 15 minute phone consultation today.

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