How to Find the Motivation to Overcome Your Fear of Flying

How to Find the Motivation to Overcome Your Fear of Flying

Overcoming a fear of flying is no small feat. It requires courage, determination, and a clear understanding of why it's important to you. Often, the key to staying motivated throughout this journey lies in recognizing the personal consequences of your fear. By reflecting on how your fear of flying has impacted your life, you can find the motivation to push through and achieve lasting change.

Finding Your Personal "Why"

Understanding why overcoming your fear of flying is important can be a game-changer. When you know the deeper reasons behind your decision, it becomes easier to stay focused and motivated. Here's a simple exercise to help you uncover your personal "why."

Exercise: Reflecting on the Cost of Fear

Take a moment to think about why flying, even though it's scary, matters to you. Consider how getting over this fear connects with the things that truly matter in your life—like your relationships, job, and personal growth. Reflecting on these aspects can provide powerful motivation.

Prompt:

1. Personal Relationships: How has your fear of flying impacted your relationships with family and friends? Think about shared experiences and moments affected by your fear.

2. Career Opportunities: Reflect on any instances where your fear might have influenced job opportunities or professional growth. How has it played a role in your career path?

3. Overall Quality of Life: Explore the broader impact on your day-to-day life. In what ways has your fear affected your overall well-being and happiness?

4. Missed Opportunities: Identify specific opportunities that you might have missed out on due to your fear. What could have been different if fear wasn't a factor?

Conclusion

Using the consequences of your fear as motivation can be incredibly powerful. By recognizing the impact your fear of flying has had on your life, you can find the drive to make meaningful changes. This isn't just about conquering a fear; it's about reclaiming your life and opening up new possibilities. Remember, every step you take brings you closer to overcoming your fear and living a fuller, more liberated life.

Need More Support With Your Fear of Flying?

If you need more help with flying anxiety,  Grab the Free Flight Anxiety Toolkit for my top 12 tips here for more ease on your next flight.

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Breaking the Cycle of Quick Fixes: Understanding Their Limitations for Managing Flight Anxiety

For many, the thought of flying triggers significant anxiety. It's natural to seek quick fixes to alleviate these fears, such as avoiding flights, relying on medication or alcohol, seeking endless reassurance, or performing rituals.

While these methods might provide temporary relief, they often perpetuate the cycle of fear and do not address the root cause of flight anxiety.

In this blog, we'll explore why these quick fixes are not the best long-term solutions and offer a glimpse into more effective strategies for managing your flight anxiety.

The Limitations of Quick Fixes

1. Avoidance

Avoiding flights might seem like an easy solution, but it only reinforces your fear. Each time you avoid flying, you miss the opportunity to confront and manage your anxiety. This avoidance can limit your life experiences and opportunities, ultimately making the fear even more daunting. Over time, avoidance can make your world smaller and your fear even bigger.

2. Medication

While medications like Valium, Xanax, or Klonopin can provide temporary relief, they do not address the underlying anxiety. Over time, you might find yourself relying on these medications more frequently, which can lead to dependency. Additionally, medications can make you drowsy, which is not ideal in an emergency situation. They might help you get through a flight, but they don't help you learn to manage your anxiety in a meaningful way.

3. Alcohol

Using alcohol to calm nerves can have negative consequences, such as dehydration, drowsiness, and impaired judgment. While it may provide short-term relief, it doesn’t equip you with the tools you need to manage your anxiety in the long run. Plus, mixing alcohol with anti-anxiety medication can be dangerous, compounding the risks.

4. Seeking Endless Reassurance

Constantly seeking reassurance about flight safety or your ability to handle flying can provide temporary comfort but ultimately reinforces anxiety. Each time you ask for reassurance, you tell your brain that flying is something to be feared, perpetuating the cycle of anxiety.

5. Performing Rituals

Engaging in rituals or compulsive behaviors to feel safe can also reinforce anxiety. These rituals might offer a temporary sense of control, but they don't address the root cause of your fear. Instead, they keep you trapped in a cycle of dependency on these behaviors.

The Real Cost of Quick Fixes

Quick fixes might seem appealing because they offer immediate relief, but they come with significant downsides:

• Temporary Relief: Quick fixes provide a temporary solution, but they don’t address the root cause of anxiety.

• Reinforcement of Fear: Each time you rely on a quick fix, you reinforce the idea that flying is something to be feared and avoided.

• Lack of Skill Development: Quick fixes don’t help you develop the coping skills needed to manage anxiety effectively.

• Potential Health Risks: Relying on medication or alcohol can have adverse health effects and may not be safe in the long run.

Moving Beyond Quick Fixes

Understanding the limitations of quick fixes is the first step towards breaking the cycle of flight anxiety. While they may offer temporary relief, they don’t provide the lasting change you need to overcome your fear of flying.

To truly manage your flight anxiety, it’s essential to develop effective, long-term strategies. This involves learning to accept your anxious feelings, preparing thoughtfully for flights, and practicing mindfulness and other coping techniques.

For more detailed strategies and support, I’ve created a comprehensive Flight Anxiety Toolkit. This toolkit is designed to provide you with practical, effective tools to help you manage your flight anxiety and make flying a more comfortable experience.

Need More Support With Your Fear of Flying?

If you need more help with flying anxiety,  Grab the Free Flight Anxiety Toolkit for my top 12 tips here for more ease on your next flight.

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A Powerful Tool to Manage Anxious Thoughts

A Powerful Tool to Manage Anxious Thoughts

Anxiety can be overwhelming, with upsetting thoughts popping up and disrupting your peace of mind. These thoughts can make you feel like you're losing control, and no matter how hard you try to push them away, they just keep coming back, causing more distress.

Imagine if you could distance yourself from these anxious thoughts and reduce their impact. What if you had a tool that could help you manage these thoughts, making them feel less threatening and more manageable?

One of my favorite tools to use with clients is a technique called "I'm noticing the thought." This exercise helps you create a distance between yourself and your anxious thoughts, allowing you to observe them without being overwhelmed.

By recognizing these thoughts for what they are—just thoughts—you can reduce their power and regain a sense of control.

How It Will Help You

This exercise is designed to help you defuse from your thoughts, which means you'll learn to see them as separate from yourself. This can significantly reduce the distress they cause and help you approach them with a calmer, more balanced perspective.

The Exercise: "I'm Noticing the Thought"

Here’s how you can practice this powerful tool:

1. Identify an Upsetting Thought Start by writing down a thought that upsets you. For example, "I'm going to screw this up."

2. Repeat the Thought Say that thought 10 times, either out loud or in writing. This repetition helps you become more aware of the thought without trying to change it.

3. Modify the Thought Now, say or write the same thought, but this time add “I’m having the thought” in front of it. For example, "I'm having the thought that I'm going to screw this up." Repeat this modified thought 10 times.

4. Notice the Thought Finally, add “I notice I’m having the thought” in front of the original thought. For example, "I notice I'm having the thought that I'm going to screw this up." Say or write this new version 10 times.

Reflect on the Experience

As you go through this exercise, pay attention to what you notice. How does it feel to add these phrases? Do you feel any change in how the thought impacts you? This exercise can help you see the thought as a mere mental event rather than a fact or a command you must follow.

Will You Use This Tool in the Future?

I encourage you to try this exercise and see how it works for you. It's a simple yet powerful way to manage your anxious thoughts and create a sense of distance from them. Would this be a tool you'll use in the future?

Feel free to share your experience with this exercise in the comments below. I’d love to hear how it went for you and any insights you gained.

Conclusion

Learning to manage anxious thoughts is a crucial part of overcoming anxiety. By practicing "I'm noticing the thought," you can develop a healthier relationship with your thoughts and reduce their power over your emotions. Remember, these thoughts are just that—thoughts. They don't define you or dictate your actions.

Need More Help with Anxiety?

At State of Mind Therapy, our team specializes in helping people overcome the burden of anxiety and OCD. With evidence-based techniques and compassionate guidance, we can help you regain control of your thoughts and live a more fulfilling life.

If you found these tips helpful, sign-up for our free guide: 5 Steps to Live More, Worry Less for more helpful strategies for managing anxiety.

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Turbulence Toolkit: Your Path to Confident Flying

Turbulence Toolkit: Your Path to Confident Flying

Download the Free Audio Exercise for Taming Turbulence

DOWNLOAD THE TURBULENCE TAMER AUDIO EXERCISE HERE

Have you ever felt your heart race as the plane hits turbulence? You're not alone. Many people experience significant anxiety during flights, especially when turbulence strikes. Having dealt with flying anxiety myself, I understand how challenging it can be. Over time, I've found effective strategies to transform my flying experience from stressful to confident. In this blog post, I'll share practical tips and a free guided audio exercise to help you navigate turbulence with ease.

Understanding Turbulence

Turbulence can be a major source of anxiety, but understanding what it is and how planes handle it can ease your mind. Think of turbulence as a bumpy road—it’s uncomfortable but not dangerous. I recently saw a TikTok video comparing planes to jello, which helped me visualize how planes safely navigate through turbulence.

Accepting turbulence as a routine part of flying can also reduce anticipatory anxiety. Instead of dreading it, recognizing turbulence as a normal occurrence can help you stay calm.

Effective Strategies for Managing Turbulence

Understanding turbulence is a start, but having practical strategies can make a big difference during those bumpy moments. Here are some techniques that have helped me manage my flying anxiety:

• Trust the Pilots: Skip turbulence prediction apps and rely on the expertise of pilots who are trained to handle turbulent conditions.

• Lift Your Feet: Try lifting your feet off the floor during turbulence to minimize the sensations. It’s a simple trick that can help reduce discomfort.

• Don’t Avoid Flights: Instead of letting fear dictate your flight choices, work on building confidence and resilience. Avoiding flights only reinforces anxiety.

• Pilot Perspective: Understand that pilots sometimes prefer flying through turbulence for efficiency. They navigate turbulence for passenger comfort, so trust their judgment.

• Keep Flying: The more you fly, the more familiar and comfortable you’ll become. Facing your fears directly can reduce the impact of turbulence on your overall experience.

Free Audio Exercise for Turbulence

Along with these tips, I'm excited to offer you a free audio exercise designed to help manage turbulence anxiety. This guided track can be your companion on your next flight, helping you stay calm and composed during rough patches. Download the Turbulence Tamer audio exercise here.

Turbulence doesn’t have to be a source of intense anxiety. By understanding its nature and using effective strategies, you can transform your flying experience. Remember, confidence comes with practice and exposure. Keep flying, face your fears, and soon turbulence will just be another part of your journey.

DOWNLOAD THE TURBULENCE TAMER AUDIO EXERCISE HERE

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Understanding the True Reasons Behind Fear of Flying

Understanding the True Reasons Behind Fear of Flying

When people think of a fear of flying, their minds often jump to the fear of a plane crash. While this is a significant concern for many, the fear of flying is a complex issue with multiple layers. Understanding these various reasons can help you better manage your anxiety and find effective ways to cope. Let’s explore some of the common reasons why people fear flying and how recognizing these can be the first step toward overcoming this fear.

1. Fear of Losing Control

One of the primary reasons people fear flying is the sense of losing control. When you're on a plane, you're placing your trust entirely in the hands of the pilots and crew. For those who feel comforted by being in control of their environment, this can be incredibly anxiety-inducing. Additionally, some people fear they will lose control of themselves—they worry that they will have so much anxiety that they will "go mad," make a fool of themselves, or even get detained or blacklisted.

2. Claustrophobia

The confined space of an airplane can trigger claustrophobia in many individuals. The idea of being in a small, enclosed space for an extended period can lead to panic and a strong desire to escape. This is not just limited to flying; it can extend to other enclosed spaces like tubes, lifts, or any confined area.

3. Fear of Turbulence

Turbulence is a common trigger for flight anxiety. The sudden, unpredictable movements of the plane can make passengers feel unsafe, even though turbulence is usually harmless. Many people experience their heart racing and a surge of panic when turbulence occurs, especially if the seatbelt signs come on and the pilot asks everyone to remain seated.

4. Fear of Heights (Acrophobia)

For some, the fear of flying is directly related to a fear of heights. The thought of being thousands of feet above the ground can cause intense anxiety and discomfort. This fear can be exacerbated during takeoff and landing, as well as when looking out of the window during the flight.

5. Past Traumatic Experiences

A past traumatic experience related to flying, such as a particularly rough flight or an emergency landing, can leave a lasting impression and trigger fear in future flights. For some, this fear developed after previously enjoying flying, leading to physical symptoms and muscle tension during flights.

6. Fear of Panic Attacks

Many people with a fear of flying are more concerned about having a panic attack during the flight than the flight itself. The thought of being trapped and unable to escape can exacerbate this fear. This is particularly challenging because the fear is not about the plane's safety but about managing intense anxiety in an enclosed space.

7. Fear of the Unknown

The unfamiliarity of the flying process can be daunting. From security checks to the noises a plane makes, the unknown aspects of flying can trigger anxiety. This includes worries about what to expect during turbulence, how the plane operates, and the general experience of being in the air.

8. Fear of Motion Sickness

Some people fear flying because they are prone to motion sickness. The idea of feeling nauseous and uncomfortable for the duration of the flight can be a significant deterrent. This fear can make the prospect of flying very unappealing and anxiety-inducing.

Conclusion

The fear of flying is multifaceted and can stem from a variety of concerns beyond just the fear of a plane crash. Understanding the root cause of your fear can be the first step in addressing it effectively. Whether it’s a fear of losing control, claustrophobia, or a past traumatic experience, recognizing these triggers allows you to take proactive steps toward managing your anxiety and enjoying a more relaxed flying experience.

If you’re struggling with a fear of flying, remember that you’re not alone, and there are resources and techniques available to help you overcome it. By acknowledging and addressing your specific fears, you can start to reclaim the joy of travel and the opportunities it brings.

Need More Support With Your Fear of Flying?

If you need more help with flying anxiety,  Grab the Free Flight Anxiety Toolkit for my top 12 tips here for more ease on your next flight.

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Why Common Strategies for Dealing with Anxiety Don't Work

Why Common Strategies for Dealing with Anxiety Don't Work

Most people with anxiety are highly motivated to get better because the physical feelings and negative thoughts that come with anxiety are incredibly uncomfortable. It's no surprise that people will try all kinds of things to get rid of anxious thoughts and feelings.

But what you may not know is that recovering from anxiety actually requires a paradoxical approach. This means your first instinct about how to get better is likely going to backfire. When it comes to anxiety, you need to do the opposite of what feels natural.

Here is a list of common strategies people use to get rid of anxiety that don’t work in the long run:

• Deep breathing

• Using logic to challenge or fix thoughts

• Avoiding people/places/things that trigger anxiety

• Distracting yourself

• Spending excessive amounts of time researching an answer

• Always seeking reassurance from others

Why Do These Strategies Backfire?

Because all of these strategies are telling your brain that this worry or fear is something dangerous that you need to do something about. Instead of treating it as something low risk that you could probably handle without using the strategy, these methods reinforce the idea that the anxiety is a real threat.

These strategies also take a ton of energy and time. So while you are busy trying to "chase away anxiety," you are missing out on your life around you.

I love this short video that helps explain this a bit more.

So you need to remember, what you resist will persist!

If you have any thoughts or comments about this information, let us know by replying in the comments below. We read and respond to all feedback.

Need More Help with Anxiety?

At State of Mind Therapy, our team specializes in helping people overcome the burden of anxiety and OCD. With evidence-based techniques and compassionate guidance, we can help you regain control of your thoughts and live a more fulfilling life.

If you found these tips helpful, sign-up for our free guide: 5 Steps to Live More, Worry Less for more helpful strategies for managing anxiety.

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Discover Our Favorite Books for Managing Anxiety and OCD 📚

Learning all you can about anxiety or OCD can make a significant difference in your recovery. By reading self-help books, you can increase your understanding of how OCD works, feel less alone, and learn helpful strategies to deal with OCD.

We've curated a list of some of our favorite books that have been incredibly helpful for many on their journey with anxiety or OCD.

These recommendations range from treatment strategies to memoirs that include various approaches and offer practical strategies to help you manage anxiety or OCD more effectively.

These are not affiliate links, just ones we think are great.

• Books for Anxiety

  The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living by Russ Harris

  Worrying is Optional

  Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks by Barry McDonagh

  The Complete Guide to Overcoming Health Anxiety: How to Live Life to the Fullest...Because You're Not Dead (Yet) by Dr. Josh Spitalnick and Michael Stier

  The Emetophobia Manual: Free Yourself from the Fear of Vomit and Reclaim Your Life by Ken Goodman

• Books for OCD

  Freedom from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder by Jonathan Grayson, PhD

  The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD by Jon Hershfield, MFT

  Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts by Sally Winston, PsyD

  ACT Workbook for OCD by Marisa Mazza, PsyD

  The Imp of the Mind: Exploring the Silent Epidemic of Obsessive Bad Thoughts by Lee Baer

  Pure OCD: The Invisible Side of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder by Chrissie Hodges

  Relationship OCD: A CBT-Based Guide to Move Beyond Obssesive Doubt, Anxiety, and Fear of Commitment in Romantic Relationships by Sheva Rajaee, MFT

• Children and Teens with Anxiety/OCD

  What to Do When You Worry Too Much by Dawn Huebner, PhD

  Be sure to check out her other books!

  Wilma Jean the Worry Machine by Julia Cook

  Outsmarting Worry (An Older Kid's Guide to Managing Anxiety) by Dawn Huebner

  What to Do When Your Brain Gets Stuck: A Kid's Guide to Overcoming OCD by Dawn Huebner

• Support for Loved Ones

  When a Family Member Has OCD: Mindfulness and Cognitive Behavioral Skills to Help Families Affected by OCD by Jon Hershfield

  The Family Guide to Getting Over OCD by Jonathan Abramowitz

  Breaking Free of Child Anxiety and OCD by Eli Lebowitz

  When A Loved One Won't Seek Mental Health Treatment by Alec Pollard, PhD

  Anxious Kids, Anxious Parents: 7 Ways to Stop the Worry Cycle and Raise Courageous and Independent Children by Reid Wilson and Lynn Lyons

Whether you're dealing with OCD yourself, supporting a loved one, or helping children and teens navigate their anxiety, these books offer practical tools to help you or your loved ones manage OCD and anxiety more effectively.

Remember, the journey through OCD and anxiety can be challenging, but with the right resources and support, it gets easier. Don't give up!

Written by Jenny Matthews, LMFT, LADC

Jenny is a therapist that specializes in helping over-thinkers and worriers get relief from anxiety so they can be more productive + do what matters + be present with their loved ones.

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5 Things Not to Do When Traveling with an Anxious Flyer

5 Things Not to Do When Traveling with an Anxious Flyer

Traveling with someone who is anxious about flying can be tough. While most people mean well when trying to ease another person's anxiety, sometimes those good intentions can backfire. To help your travel companion feel more at ease, steer clear of these five common mistakes.

1. Don’t Suggest Alcohol or Drugs

Although it might seem like a drink could help someone relax, it’s not a one-size-fits-all solution and can actually create more issues.

Alcohol can lead to dehydration, which can heighten anxiety, and getting intoxicated could result in embarrassing situations or make it difficult to respond in an emergency. Plus, mixing alcohol with certain medications can be dangerous. Instead, encourage healthier coping methods.

2. Avoid Saying “Calm Down”

Telling someone to calm down when they’re anxious is rarely helpful.

If it were that easy, they’d do it themselves. Instead, offer specific actions like giving a comforting back rub, suggesting deep breathing exercises, or reassuring them with “I’m here with you, and you’re safe.”

3. Don’t Try to “Fix” Their Fear

Anxious flyers often know that flying is statistically safe, but their brain reacts differently in the moment. Validate their feelings and acknowledge how challenging this is for them.

Trying to talk them out of their fear usually leads to frustration and shutting down.

4. Don’t Rush or Be Late

Adding time pressure to someone already anxious about flying only makes things worse. Give yourselves plenty of time to get to the airport and through security.

Reducing the rush can help keep their stress levels down.

5. Be Mindful of Your Own Behavior

Anxiety can make people more sensitive to annoying habits, like chewing loudly or talking too much. Don’t take their irritability personally—understanding can go a long way.

You may benefit from your own stress reduction skills as flying with someone who is afraid can also be hard on you.

Struggling with a Fear of Flying?

If you or someone you know has a fear of flying, there's hope. Share this link with your loved one and encourage them to join our upcoming masterclass: "Coping Skills Are Not The Key To Overcoming Your Fear of Flying: 5 Mistakes That Could Be Making Your Fear of Flying Worse."

In this masterclass, you’ll learn effective strategies and gain valuable insights to help you conquer your fear and fly with confidence.

Sign up now and take the first step toward overcoming your fear!

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Navigating Flight Anxiety: Where I Am on My Journey Today

Navigating Flight Anxiety: Where I Am on My Journey Today

This month I’m taking my family trip to Arizona and I can't help but reflect on my journey with flight anxiety, especially considering I recently flew in February. Each flight brings me a step closer to confident flying, reinforcing the notion that practice truly does make progress.

Since my last flight just a couple of months ago, I've noticed a significant boost in my confidence. The more I fly, the more confident I become. 

In fact, I have had no anticipatory anxiety whatsoever. But I’m not going to think that it won’t show up at some point. Because it certainly could. And if so, I’m ready for it. My resilience is stronger than my fear right now. 

I wouldn’t be where I’m at in my journey with flight anxiety if I hadn’t understood what subtle things I was doing that were actually worsening it. And if you want to learn more about this, I have a free masterclass coming up this month, where I can teach you too (stay tuned for the details).

So what am I doing to prepare for my flight? Honestly nothing. The last time I flew, I wanted to make sure I sought out some challenges (like going on a ferris wheel) to confront uncomfortable sensations. 

I don’t feel like I will need to do that now since I flew just this past February. While I'm feeling more confident this time around, I know I'll still find opportunities for practice – perhaps on the swing set or on the trampoline with my kids where that familiar drop in the tummy sensation awaits. 

So I'm not actively seeking discomfort. Instead, I'm focusing on planning future trips. In fact, I have two more coming up after this Arizona trip. My goal is to keep flying.

I have the skills I need, I just need to continue practicing them in the air. Which is so different from years ago when the mere thought of flying would cause me to shake and think about how I could get out of this trip. 

If you are thinking that you will always be an anxious flyer, then keep following my journey. I will keep sharing my journey with you in hopes of inspiring you that it’s possible to have confidence to handle your anxiety. 

Need More Support With Your Fear of Flying?

If you need more help with flying anxiety,  Grab the Free Flight Anxiety Toolkit for my top 12 tips here.

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How to Turn Flight Anxiety Setbacks into Progress

How to Turn Flight Anxiety Setbacks into Progress

If you recently experienced a setback with your flight anxiety, whether it led to canceling your trip or enduring an anxious journey, you might be feeling disheartened and self-critical. It's crucial to recognize that setbacks are a normal part of the journey when dealing with anxiety. Despite the disappointment, there are valuable lessons to be learned from these experiences.

Give Yourself Credit

Firstly, acknowledge any progress you've made, no matter how small it may seem. Perhaps you took steps toward facing your fear by booking a flight in the first place or maybe this time you didn’t self-medicate during the flight.

Every effort counts, and it's essential to give yourself credit for any small changes. Change isn’t all or nothing and is a process. 

Stop Beating Yourself Up

Instead of dwelling on the setback, focus on what you can learn from it. Avoid the temptation to criticize yourself harshly; self-compassion is key to moving forward constructively.

Are you calling yourself a pathetic loser? I want you to ask yourself if you would talk that way to a friend who made a mistake. I’m guessing not. You need to treat yourself how you would treat a friend. 

And rather than shaming yourself, channel your energy into understanding why the setback occurred and how you can use it as motivation to overcome future challenges. I have a free Learning from Setbacks Worksheet you can download to help you learn from the setback. 

Why Is Flying Important To You?

Consider why flying is important to you. Reflect on the reasons behind your desire to confront your fear, and let these motivations guide your next steps. Remember, just because you didn't succeed this time doesn't mean you won't succeed in the future.

If you feel defeated right now, it can feel really hard to decide to get back on the horse and keep riding. But instead of focusing on how your feelings of defeat, think about why this is important to you and how overcoming this fear can open up your world.

I recently wrote a blog about how to understand your motivation so that it can serve as fuel during challenging moments. You can check that out here. 

What Did You Do To Prepare For This Flight? 

Reflect on the preparations you made for the flight. It’s not uncommon for people to wait until the month before their flight to start practicing effective skills. But depending on where you are in your journey, that may not have been enough time. 

I wrote a blog recently about some ways I prepared for an upcoming flight. You can read that here.

Perhaps this time you need some additional support. There's no shame in reaching out for help, whether through therapy, medication, or a fear of flying course.

Recognize that you don't have to figure this out on your own, and investing in support can significantly improve your chances of success. 

Have Reasonable Expectations

It's also essential to have reasonable expectations for yourself. Anxiety during a flight doesn't mean you failed; it's how you respond to that anxiety that matters most.

Instead of focusing solely on the absence of anxiety, concentrate on developing coping strategies and resilience.

Remember, progress is not always linear, and setbacks are opportunities for growth. It can help to expect that there will be setbacks, because that will keep you from giving up all together.

As long as you keep learning and keep flying, you will get there. 

Need More Support With Your Fear of Flying?

If you need more help with flying anxiety,  Grab the Free Flight Anxiety Toolkit for my top 12 tips here.

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What's Your Why?

What’s Your Why?

Have you ever felt paralyzed by fear, unable to take that first step forward?

Maybe it's the thought of boarding a plane or facing a crowded room. Whatever it is, I get it. But here's the thing: it's time to kick fear to the curb and live a bigger, bolder life. 

What if you could start booking flights without starting to overthink about all the things that could go wrong? 

Or go to a party without planning your exit?  

If you notice a nagging thought that says “that’ll never happen for me” or “it’s not worth it” then it’s time to start working on your motivation. 

Lets face it. Change isn’t easy. And you can probably get by for awhile without doing anything about it. But eventually life smacks you in the face and you can’t keep ignoring it. 

Maybe that’s the day you get a call where you HAVE to fly because your job depends on it, or your bff is getting married. Or you need to attend a funeral of a loved one. 

And then you are faced with letting this fear take over and cause you to miss out. Or you panic the entire way there. 

Don’t wait until you HAVE to change.

If you wait to until you have to fly, or go to a wedding, or whatever, to start working on your fear then you will not have enough time to learn the skills you need to.

Start now. Give yourself one year to really invest in yourself so that you can spend the rest of your life unleashed from the fear monster. 

Take a moment to picture your future. What does it look like when fear no longer holds you back? Can you see yourself boarding that plane, heart pounding but head held high? It's a powerful image, isn't it?

And what will your life look like one year from now if you continue to let fear and anxiety control your actions and decisions? 

What if you chose to spend the next year investing in learning how to overcome your fear? Where could that take you? How would that impact your loved ones? 

If you need help facing your fear, get professional support. You’re not the only one going through this and anxiety is treatable. 

Not sure where to start? Grab our Live More, Worry Less Guide to start learning more about the top 5 strategies we teach our clients everyday. 

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Turbulence Toolkit: Your Key to Confident Flying Starts Here

Turbulence Toolkit: Your Key to Confident Flying Starts Here

Download the Free Audio Exercise for Taming Turbulence

DOWNLOAD THE TURBULENCE TAMER AUDIO EXERCISE HERE

If you've ever felt a surge of anxiety when the plane hits turbulence, you're not alone. Like many others, I've experienced the challenges of flying anxiety firsthand. However, over time, I've discovered strategies that have transformed my flying experience from nerve-wracking to confident. In this blog post, I'll share a combination of practical tips and a free guided audio track to help you navigate through turbulence with confidence.

Understanding Turbulence:

Turbulence can trigger feelings of anxiety and discomfort, but understanding its nature can help alleviate some of those fears. One helpful tip is to learn about how aircraft handle turbulence. I recently came across a TikTok video that compared planes to jello, offering a unique visual perspective that helped me understand turbulence better.

Expecting turbulence as a normal part of flying can also make a significant difference in how we perceive it. Rather than hoping for a smooth flight, acknowledging turbulence as a routine occurrence can help reduce anticipatory anxiety.

Practical Tips for Managing Turbulence:

While understanding turbulence is helpful, practical strategies can provide additional support during turbulent moments. Here are some tips that have personally helped me manage flying anxiety:

1. Skip the turbulence prediction apps and trust in the expertise of pilots to navigate through turbulent conditions safely.

2. Try lifting your feet off the floor during turbulence to reduce the sensations you feel. It may sound simple, but some swear by this technique.

3. Don't let fear dictate your choices when it comes to flying. Instead of avoiding certain seats or flight times, focus on building your confidence and resilience in handling anxiety during flights.

4. Consider the perspective of pilots, who often prefer flying through turbulence for efficiency. They only try to avoid turbulence for the comfort of the passengers. Trusting in their experience can help ease your mind during turbulent moments.

5. Keep flying and face your fears head-on. The more familiar and comfortable you become with flying, the less impact turbulence will have on your overall experience.

Free Audio Exercise for Handling Turbulence:

In addition to these practical tips, I'm excited to share a valuable resource with you: a free audio exercise designed to help you manage turbulence anxiety during flights. Take it with you on your next flight to help you stay calm during any rough air you experience.

DOWNLOAD THE TURBULENCE TAMER AUDIO EXERCISE HERE

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Find Your Peace: Crafting Your Own Coping Card

Find Your Peace: Crafting Your Own Coping Card

If you're grappling with anxiety, managing it in the moment can feel like an uphill battle, even if you've learned practical strategies. When the fight or flight response kicks in, rational thinking often goes out the window, leaving you feeling paralyzed and unable to make clear decisions. It's challenging to make the right choices for handling anxiety amidst the chaos.

That's where coping cards come in. These portable tools serve as concrete reminders of coping strategies, eliminating the need to think on the spot or recall information in high-anxiety situations. They pave the path of least resistance, guiding you through moments of heightened anxiety with ease.

Creating a coping card is simple and flexible. It can take any format that suits you best—whether it's a physical note card, in your phone’s note app, or even a photo of a card you've designed. The key is to make it personalized and accessible. You want your coping card to be readily available wherever and whenever you need it most. 

So consider where you might need the coping card. On the go? In the bathroom while you’re getting ready? On your nightstand? Put it in a place where you won’t miss it. And better yet, consider having it placed in multiple places. 

How to Create Your Coping Card

To craft your coping card, focus on simplicity and clarity. Divide it into a few key sections to avoid overwhelming yourself. Start by identifying unhelpful strategies you want to avoid, such as avoidance behaviors, reassurance seeking, or excessive googling. 

Next, create a section to jot down a few helpful coping statements—simple phrases you can repeat to yourself in the heat of the moment, like "This feeling will pass" or "I can allow this feeling to be here without judgment."

Next, outline effective strategies you can take immediate action on. This might include deep breathing exercises, guided meditations, or simple distractions to redirect your focus. Consider adding a motivational quote or inspirational message to uplift and inspire you. And if it resonates with you, include factual reminders to ground yourself in reality, such as "panic attacks are not harmful.”

If you're hesitant about the effectiveness of coping cards, I encourage you to give them a try. While they're not a magical solution, they serve as valuable reminders of what to do when anxiety overwhelms your ability to respond effectively. With practice, you can build resilience and strength over time, gradually reclaiming control over your anxiety.

Remember, anxiety may be powerful, but you have the power to cultivate resilience and navigate through it with the help of practical tools like coping cards.

Need More Help with Anxiety?

At State of Mind Therapy, our team specializes in helping people overcome the burden of anxiety and OCD. With evidence-based techniques and compassionate guidance, we can help you regain control of your thoughts and live a more fulfilling life.

If you found these tips helpful, sign-up for our free guide: 5 Steps to Live More, Worry Less for more helpful strategies for managing anxiety.

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Managing Anxiety in the Morning: Strategies for Starting Your Day on a Positive Note

Managing Anxiety in the Morning: Strategies for Starting Your Day on a Positive Note

Do you ever find yourself struggling with morning anxiety? It might feel like from the moment you wake up that anxiety is right there waiting for you.

It can be overwhelming, and even debilitating, and can cast a shadow over the day ahead before it's even begun. This feeling of dread can be accompanied by a flood of what if thoughts, making it challenging to leave the comfort of your bed.

Why is Anxiety Worse in the Morning?

So, why does this happen? Well, biologically, your body releases cortisol in the morning to help you wake up and face the day. If you deal with anxiety or panic, you have higher levels of cortisol in the morning. This means you have more sensitivity to any physical symptoms of anxiety, leading to a cascade of "what if" scenarios and heightened fear.

If you struggle with fearing anxiety symptoms, then you may get wrapped up into ruminating about this anxiety or scanning your body for signs of problems. And this only makes the problem worse.

Ruminating, body scanning, or avoiding only tells your brain that the anxiety symptoms you are experiencing are problematic or even dangerous.

And when your brain gets the message that there is danger, then it will keep giving you anxiety because it is trying to protect you. But you now know where the morning anxiety is coming from and that is not harmful, even though it’s very uncomfortable. 

So morning anxiety, while distressing, is not a sign of impending danger. It's merely a misinterpretation of your body's normal physiological reactions. Understanding this can be the first step towards reclaiming control over your mornings.

Getting Relief From Morning Anxiety

Unfortunately, there's no quick fix for morning anxiety. It takes time to rewire your brain and stop reacting to it with fear. Instead of trying to make it disappear instantly, your goal should be to become less afraid of the symptoms themselves.

One strategy is to acknowledge that morning anxiety is a normal and safe physiological experience. Do not assume that this anxiety will dictate how the rest of your day will unfold. Remind yourself that this feeling will pass, and try not to give in to catastrophic thinking.

The worst thing you can do is stay in bed and ruminate about this. Get out of bed right away and engage in your morning routine. When you find yourself catastrophizing about the rest of the day, take that as a cue to slow down, focus on one task at a time. It might sound like “ok I’m putting my feet on the floor now. Next I’m going to turn the water on.” 

By gradually exposing yourself to the discomfort of morning anxiety without giving in to ruminating, body checking, or avoiding, you can teach your brain that it's not something to be alarmed about. Over time, this can lead to a reduction in overall sensitivity to these symptoms, allowing you to greet each day with greater resilience and calmness.

So, the next time you wake up feeling anxious, remember: it's okay to feel uncomfortable, but it's not a signal of impending danger.

Take it one step at a time, and trust that you have the strength to overcome this challenge. With patience and perseverance, you can learn to manage morning anxiety and reclaim your mornings.

Need More Help with Anxiety?

At State of Mind Therapy, our team specializes in helping people overcome the burden of anxiety and OCD. With evidence-based techniques and compassionate guidance, we can help you regain control of your thoughts and live a more fulfilling life.

If you found these tips helpful, sign-up for our free guide: 5 Steps to Live More, Worry Less for more helpful strategies for managing anxiety.

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5 Practical Tips to Escape the Overthinking Trap

5 Practical Tips to Escape the Overthinking Trap

Do you ever feel like your mind is stuck in a whirlwind of doubts and uncertainties, unable to find its way out? Overthinking can feel like being trapped on a never-ending freeway, draining your mental energy and leaving you exhausted.

But there's good news – you can break free from the overthinking trap. Here are five practical tips to help you regain control and find peace of mind:

1. Recognize the Signs:

The first step to overcoming overthinking is to recognize when you're caught in its grip. Pause and ask yourself:

• What is bothering me the most about this?

• What am I trying to achieve by obsessing over this?

By identifying these questions, you can gain clarity and determine whether the issue is within your control.

2. Take Action or Let Go:

If the issue is within your control, identify actionable steps to address it. Seize the opportunity to take charge and make a plan. However, if the source of your overthinking is beyond your control, acknowledge it. For example, “I want to know what my coworkers are thinking of me, but I have no control over this.” Acceptance allows you to let go of the need to solve everything and sit with the discomfort.

3. Adjust Your Attitude:

Remember, while you may not be able to control every situation, you can control your attitude and response to it. Shift your focus from trying to control external factors to managing your internal reactions. For example, “I don’t have to like this, but I can allow this to be here.”

4. Break the Cycle:

Overthinking often follows a pattern. When you notice yourself spiraling, acknowledge it by saying, “Here is overthinking again.” While this won’t immediately stop the overthinking, it empowers you to choose a different path.

5. Practice Mindfulness:

Mindfulness can help you become more aware of your thoughts and redirect your focus to the present moment. Start small with consistent daily practice, even if only for a few minutes at a time. There are many mindfulness apps available to support you with learning mindfulness.

You can learn how get out of the overthinking trap and reclaim your peace of mind. Take these practical steps today to live a more fulfilling life.

Need More Help with Anxiety?

At State of Mind Therapy, our team specializes in helping individuals like you overcome the burden of overthinking. With evidence-based techniques and compassionate guidance, we can help you regain control of your thoughts and live a more fulfilling life.

If you need additional help with overthinking, schedule a free consultation with one of our therapists today. You deserve peace of mind and we're here to help. 

Parent Tips on Navigating Reassurance Seeking With Your Anxious Child

Parent Tips on Navigating Reassurance Seeking With Your Anxious Child

Your child comes to you with anxious thoughts swirling in their mind, seeking reassurance for the hundredth time this week...

….”do you think this will make me sick? Are you sure?”

….”I made a mistake today…do you think I’m a bad person? Will other people think I’m a bad person?”

…”Are you sure?”

…”Are you sure?”

Sound familiar?

We all need reassurance at times. but when it comes to anxiety disorders, it can be really unproductive. But as a parent, you feel like your hands are tied. You don’t want to keep answering these questions, but it feels impossible to stop.

Constantly reassuring your anxious kiddo might actually make their anxiety worse in the long run.

What!?

When we reassure our kids too much, it can inadvertently teach them that they need constant reassurance to feel okay. Plus, it doesn't really help them learn to cope with their worries on their own.

So I put together a free mini training video to show you step-by-step how I teach my clients how to stop reassurance seeking patterns.

Conquer the Sunday Scaries: 6 Game-Changing Tips for a Stress-Free Weekend

Conquer the Sunday Scaries: 6 Game-Changing Tips for a Stress-Free Weekend

You know that sinking feeling all too well—the weekend's winding down, and Monday is right around the corner. And you are absolutely dreading it.

The thought of a full week of work ahead feels overwhelming, doesn't it? You can’t help but wonder what happened over the weekend that you'll have to tackle on Monday.

The uncertainty of the week ahead can leave you spiraling.

You wish you could just turn it off. The weight of the week ahead is robbing your joy on Sunday.If you crave a sense of calm on Sundays, then check out these tips.

1. Plan Ahead: Carve out 30 minutes at the end of the workday on Friday to make your to-do list for the next week. By looking at what’s on the schedule for the week ahead ahead of time, you're proactively addressing tasks and reducing the mental load that typically plagues Sundays.

Make it part of your end-of-the-week plan so you can spend less time thinking about it on Sunday and step into Sunday with clarity and a fresh start knowing exactly what you'll be focusing on that week.

2. Find Joy in Mondays: Can you find a way to look forward to Monday? Maybe pick-up a Vanilla Latte from Starbucks or go out to lunch with a coworker. Schedule after-work activities like book club or pickleball on Mondays to help you look forward to something after work.

3. Change Up Your Sunday Routine: Many people wait until Sundays to do their weekly chores like laundry and get groceries. This can make Sunday feel like less of a “fun day” and leave you feeling overwhelmed with things to do instead of enjoying the day for relaxation. 

So make a tweak in your week and change up grocery shopping day to Wednesday or some other day in the week so it’s not all piled up on the weekend.

4. Embrace Sunday as a Fun Day: Live your Sunday like it's a Saturday. Sometimes, we have the mindset that we can’t do fun things on Sunday because we need to “get ready for the week.” But what if we allowed ourselves to enjoy Sunday like Saturday? Sometimes we unintentionally trap ourselves by telling ourselves we need to be home early that day. But who says you have to?

5. Put Yourself First: If you're worrying about the tasks at work you'll be returning to, practice reminding yourself that your life is bigger and more important than work. You are more than your job and you deserve all the time off you get. 

Putting yourself first means enjoying your Sunday and not letting work infiltrate your limited free time. The work will be there for you tomorrow.

6. Incorporate Mindfulness: If you find it hard to stop thinking about work, try incorporating mindfulness into your daily routine. Mindfulness is like exercise for your brain to help you stay in the present moment.

 It’s normal for minds to drift, but mindfulness will help you become more aware of when that happens and be able to redirect your attention back to the present moment.

So if you’re tired of letting the Sunday scaries dictate your mood and productivity, pick 1-2 of the tips from this blog and put them into action.

Need more tips on handling anxiety? Check out our Live More, Worry Less guide for 5 of our favorite strategies to get relief from anxiety.

Behind the Scenes of My Recent Flight Experience

For years, the thought of boarding a plane filled me with dread. Each time I flew, I  was struck by anxiety, casting a shadow over what should have been moments of excitement. But as I stepped off my flight this week, a sense of accomplishment washed over me.

While my flight anxiety tries to still pull me in, I've learned valuable lessons along the way.

Flight anxiety is a complex beast, capable of robbing even the most adventurous souls of their sense of freedom. It's a struggle I know intimately, but one that has also taught me resilience. 

You may be wondering if I practiced any exercises, like deep breathing or guided meditations, and the answer is no. I used to use these coping strategies, but no longer need to at this stage of my journey.

Rather than relying solely on traditional coping mechanisms, I choose to accept it as a natural part of the human experience rather than fighting it. I can coexist with my discomfort without letting it control me. 

Two days leading up to my flight, I wasn’t having any worried thoughts, but my body still tried to “warn me” about the dangers of flying (which is normal and I expected this is). My body was reacting HARD. Nausea gripped me and my appetite vanished.

I didn’t like this at all. It made it very hard to function.

However, I found some helpful ways to handle it. One, I got outside for a walk and this helped a lot. This next part sounds silly but it helped a lot….I made a video of myself talking about my experience. I found that after I made the video I felt a lot better.

This was surprising to me, it reminded me of the power of sharing your feelings…even if it’s just with yourself. 

Ensuring to still eat was also very important. Applesauce pouches came to the rescue on this one.

On the day of my flight, I woke up excited to leave. In the past, I have said goodbye to my kids in a way like it would be my last time. I didn’t do that this time. It was more challenging than I expected but I was proud of myself.

One goodbye was enough.

I trusted I would get home to them again. 

As we taxied down the runway I was met with familiar jitters as we prepared for takeoff. But this time, I approached this by reminding myself “this is exactly the practice I need right now.” I carried on with a good show (humorous and familiar sitcoms are my go-to) to keep me occupied. With each wave of turbulence, I remained calm, knowing it was like riding the waves on a ship. 

I was relaxed the entire flight. No alcohol. No meds. It was all because of the mindset shifts and skills I have been practicing all this time. It didn’t happen overnight. But with committed action, it’s something I can be proud of.

If you struggle with flight anxiety, I want you to know that you can get better. The way I experienced anxiety when flying 10 years ago compared to today are very different. I don’t feel like I need to over prepare myself for a flight. I have some discomfort but am overall unfazed by it. 

Just imagine the amazing places you can go when anxiety isn’t standing in your way.

Ready to take the first step towards overcoming your fear of flying? Join the waitlist for our Fearful Flyer’s Blueprint Course to be the first to know when enrollment opens.

Proactive Steps I’m Taking to Fly Confidently Next Month

Proactive Steps I’m Taking to Fly Confidently Next Month 

Curious about making your next flight less nerve-wracking? I'm sharing exactly what I'm doing a month before my next flight to step on the plane with confidence. 

My Ups and Downs with Flight Anxiety

It’s been two years since I’ve flown. Not because of anxiety, just life got in the way of being able to travel. I’m traveling next month, and so far…really looking forward to it. 

Since having kids, opportunities to be able to travel by plane have been much fewer. 

If you know me, you know I’m vocal about my history with flight anxiety. It was rough years ago, never completely stopping me from flying but making it pretty difficult to want to travel.

During the years I traveled a bunch, it got easier. But then it got worse….. again. Then better. 

Years later, I now totally get why my experience was full of ups and downs. For one, it’s normal based on any life stressors. 

Mistakes I Made 

But mostly, I had no idea that so many of the things I was doing (like pretending I wasn’t on a plane or scanning the flight crew) were actually making my fear worse, rather than better.

It's incredible how you can unknowingly exacerbate your anxiety (and why this is such a crucial part of what I cover in my Fearful Flyer’s Blueprint course). 

So even though I don't travel often, I find I am far more confident when I fly….and without self-medicating with cocktails. 

Just because I am more confident now, that doesn’t mean I act like my anxiety is gone. I know that it could show up. So I am about a month out from my next flight and want to share with you how I am preparing myself for it. 

My Flight Prep

For starters, even though I have many reasons to believe I will have minimal to low anxiety, I’m still remaining open to the possibility that it will show up. This is an attitude shift.

Rather than hoping I don’t have any anxiety, I’m simply just making space for it to be there if it shows up. This helps me to not get into a struggle with any anxiety.

It allows me to treat it matter-of-factly, “oh there you are anxiety, I had a feeling you’d show up.” 

I am also seeking opportunities for discomfort right now…. long before my flight. I recently took my kids on a ferris wheel and it triggered some uncomfortable thoughts and sensations.

I was excited to experience that. I know that sounds weird but it’s another attitude shift that’s so important. 

By seeking out the discomfort, I said “yes, I GET to practice” and this throw’s anxiety off its game. Riding a ferris wheel is a pretty low level exposure for me, but I will take any practice when I can. 

I am not triggered by worries about my upcoming flight (yet), but if I were to become worried, I would be sure to stay away from googling anything to search for answers to my worry questions. 

I also plan to catch myself starting to entertain any scary stories, because I know that is within my control. 

In a Nutshell

As I approach  my upcoming flight, my focus is on simple, effective strategies: expect it, allow it, seek discomfort, and avoid investing in possibilities. And here's a tool to make your next flight smoother – our Free Flight Anxiety Toolkit. Packed with practical tips for in-the-moment ease, it's yours to grab. 

What to Do When Turbulence Gives You Anxiety

What to Do When Turbulence Gives You Anxiety

If you're like me and have struggled with a bit of flying anxiety, you know that handling turbulence can be a real challenge. But the good news, is that I’ve learned how to become much more confident as a flyer. In this blog,  I'll share some tips that have helped me and might help you too.

1. Learn about the aircraft: Ever wondered how planes handle turbulence? I stumbled upon this TikTok video that compares planes to jello. It's a great visual and helps you to understand turbulence so you can put your mind at ease.

2. Expect the Bumps: Easier said than done, right? But expecting turbulence as a normal part of flying can actually make a huge difference. If you approach flying by hoping you don’t have a turbulent flight, then it’s going to add to your anxiety because you are expecting something that you have no control over.

3. Skip the Turbulence Apps: Planning to predict turbulence with an app? Hold that thought. These apps are notoriously inaccurate, and pilots are the real pros at navigating through turbulence. Trust their expertise and save yourself from unnecessary worry.

4. Lift Your Feet: I haven't personally tried this one, but some swear by it. During turbulence, raise your feet off the floor. It supposedly reduces the sensations you feel. Give it a shot and let me know if it works for you!

5. Don't Let Fear Dictate Your Choices: Choosing a specific seat, time of day to fly, or specific destinations won't make turbulence disappear. So don’t create conditions for yourself on where you will fly to in attempt to avoid turbulence. Plan your trips based on where you want to go and work on handling your anxiety (rather than trying to control turbulence).

6. Pilot's Perspective: Pilots prefer flying through turbulence for efficiency. Knowing this gave me a whole new perspective. They're not avoiding it for safety reasons but to provide more comfort. Trust in their experience and let that ease your mind.

7. Keep Flying: The more you fly, the more familiar and comfortable you become with the process. I had a period of time years ago with frequent trips, and it honestly made me feel like a pro flyer. I became so experienced with flying that the bumps didn’t phase me. Keep flying, face your fears, and you’ll get more confident. 

If you need more help with flying anxiety,  Grab the Free Flight Anxiety Toolkit for my top 12 tips here.