10 Lessons I Learned From Facing My Flight Anxiety

For years, flying terrified me. Just talking about booking a flight would make me shake, lose my appetite, and feel physically sick. I still pushed myself to get on planes, but I was miserable the entire time.

I tried everything to "trick" myself into feeling comfortable—pretending I wasn’t really on a plane, drinking alcohol, white-knuckling my way through takeoff. But no matter what I did, the fear always crept back in.

Now? I don’t need to prepare at all. Sure, if I haven’t flown in a while, I might still get a stomach ache—but I don’t have the scary thoughts anymore.

So how did I get here? These are the 10 biggest lessons I learned along the way.

1. Avoiding Anxiety Only Makes It Worse

For years, I treated anxiety like something I had to fight off or eliminate. If I could just “fix” it, then I’d finally feel comfortable flying.

But the truth? The more effort I put into avoiding anxiety, the worse it got.

The game-changer for me was learning to allow my anxious feelings instead of battling them. Instead of telling myself, "I shouldn’t feel this way," I started saying, "I can feel anxious and still handle this."

2. You Don’t Have to Feel 100% Ready—Action Comes First

I used to wait for the right time to fly. But here’s the thing—there is no right time.

If you’re waiting for your anxiety to magically disappear before you book a flight, you might be waiting forever. I had to make a decision: Do I want to keep letting fear control my life, or do I want to take action despite it?

Progress comes from doing, not waiting. The sooner you start taking small steps, the sooner flying will feel easier.

3. White-Knuckling It Won’t Help—You Have to Change Your Mindset

I kept pushing myself to fly, thinking repeated exposure alone would fix the fear. But because I was still white-knuckling it, I never really felt better.

I spent entire flights drinking alcohol, studying the flight attendants' faces for signs of worry, and gripping the armrest through turbulence. Sure, I made it through the flights, but my brain was still reinforcing the message that flying was dangerous.

Real progress happened when I stopped gripping onto every coping mechanism and started truly believing I could handle the discomfort.

4. Your Body Will React—And That’s Okay

Before, my body would panic before my mind even had a chance to. I’d feel nauseous, my appetite would disappear, and my heart would race.

I used to take motion sickness meds just to get through it. Now, if I need them, I’ll take them—but I also make sure I eat, drink water, and take care of my body.

I know that if I don’t fuel myself properly, my symptoms will get way worse. Even when I don’t feel like eating, I’ll have small sips of water, crackers, applesauce—whatever I can tolerate.

5. If You Treat Flying Like a Life-Or-Death Event, Of Course You’ll Be Anxious

I used to prepare for flights like I was preparing for my funeral.

I’d update my will, say dramatic goodbyes to my kids, and act like I might not come back. And guess what? That only made my anxiety 10x worse.

Now, I treat flying like any other day. I don’t make it a big deal, because it isn’t.

6. Understanding Flight Safety Helps Correct the Stories in Your Head

I used to panic over every bump, noise, and sensation. My brain constantly asked:
❓ Was that normal?
❓ Is something wrong?
❓ Should I be worried?

Now? I know enough about aviation to understand what’s normal. That knowledge helps shut down my brain’s habit of making up scary stories.

For some people, learning about how planes work can be a game-changer in overcoming fear. For me, I got some of that education through my husband (who worked in aviation), but what helped even more was continuing to fly and applying the mindset shift and tools I learned as an anxiety specialist (yep-I practice what I preach). 

7. Distraction Helps—But Only If You Let It

In the past, I couldn’t even give myself permission to watch a show on a plane. I felt like I had to be on high alert at all times.

Now, I let myself engage in things that make the flight go by faster. Watching a familiar, lighthearted show is my go-to.

But here’s the key: Distraction is different from avoidance.
✔ Mindful distraction = Keeping yourself engaged with something positive.
❌ Avoidance distraction = Trying to “block out” the experience (which doesn’t work).

8. The Fear Fades When You Stop Engaging With It

The biggest difference today? I don’t fear flying anymore.

I still get some physical anxiety symptoms, but I don’t engage with them. I recognize it as just my old fight-or-flight response trying to "warn" me.

The moment I stopped analyzing every anxious sensation and just let it come and go, I realized… I didn’t need to be afraid of it anymore.

9. Progress Doesn’t Happen Overnight—But It’s 100% Possible

If you had told me 10 years ago that I’d one day fly without fear, no alcohol, no medication, no over-preparing—I wouldn’t have believed you.

But here I am. Not because I’m lucky, but because I put in the work.

Flight anxiety is so incredibly treatable. It takes practice and consistent effort, but it’s worth it. You don’t have to be an anxious flyer forever.

10. The First Step Is Just Deciding Enough Is Enough

The only way out of flight anxiety is through it.

If you’re waiting for the perfect time to start working on it… you’ll be waiting forever.

There is no magic formula. You just have to decide:
I’m done letting fear control me.

The first step? Start consuming content about evidence-based treatment for flight anxiety. Learn what actually works. If you’re ready for a structured approach, I created a course that walks you through every step of the process.

Want a Step-By-Step Plan to Conquer Flight Anxiety?

Join the Fearful Flyer’s Blueprint Course—where I teach you the exact mindset shifts and strategies I used to go from anxious flyer to confident traveler.

Click here to get started!

7 Tips to Keep Your Fear of Flying in Check After a Scary News Headline

Hearing about a plane crash or other aviation incidents can be incredibly unsettling—especially if you already have a fear of flying. Your brain might immediately start to spiral, saying: “See? I shouldn’t fly. It could happen.”

And you know what? You’re not wrong—bad things can happen. But guess what? You don’t stop living your life because of what ifs. You still drive after hearing about car accidents, right? You still eat out even though food poisoning exists. The key is learning how to challenge the thoughts that are trying to keep you stuck.

Let’s break down how to handle this fear without letting it derail your progress.

1. Recognize and Challenge Your Thinking

If you find yourself thinking, “This is why I shouldn’t fly,” it’s a sign you need to do some work around your thought patterns. Anxiety thrives on confirmation bias—where your brain selectively focuses on evidence that supports your fear and ignores all the times things go right.

Instead of letting one scary event reinforce your fear, use it as an opportunity to strengthen your skills in handling uncertainty. Just because something happened doesn’t mean it will happen to you.

Ask yourself:

• Am I looking at this objectively, or is my fear making the decision for me?

• What other areas of life have I continued with, even after hearing about risks?

• How can I use this fear as motivation to learn coping strategies?

2. Educate Yourself on Flight Safety (Within Reason)

If you constantly struggle with trusting the safety of flying, a reasonable amount of education can help. But here’s the key—reasonable means getting information from trusted sources, not falling down an internet rabbit hole.

Learn the facts about aviation safety and how planes are designed to withstand various conditions. Understanding how thoroughly pilots are trained and how rare incidents are can provide reassurance. But remember, knowledge is a tool—not a crutch. Overconsumption of information can fuel anxiety rather than calm it.

3. Respond to Anxiety Differently

When anxious thoughts pop up, instead of taking them so seriously, try responding to them with acceptance of uncertainty and even a little humor. Some ways to do this:

• “Maybe, maybe not” or “If it’s my time, it’s my time.” 

• “Good one, Anxiety! I knew you’d throw this thought at me today.”

By not taking these thoughts so seriously, you take away their power. Anxiety loves when you engage and fight with it—so don’t. Acknowledge it, and then move on.

4. Accept Your Feelings (Without Letting Them Take Over)

It’s okay to feel sad, scared, or even angry when you hear tragic news about a plane crash. Just because you know your fear of flying is irrational doesn’t mean bad things don’t happen in the world. Allow yourself to feel those emotions without judgment.

Say to yourself:

• “I feel scared right now, and that’s okay.”

• “This news is upsetting, but I don’t have to dwell on it.”

Feeling your emotions doesn’t mean you have to act on them. You can experience fear and still take steps to move forward.

5. Don't Feed the Fear (Keep Scrolling!)

When you see something in the news about a plane crash, it’s tempting to dig deep—searching for answers, reading every article, and trying to figure out how to avoid the same fate. But here’s the truth:

• The media's job is to provoke emotion and fear, not provide reassurance.

• Digging for answers won’t eliminate anxiety… it will only fuel more of it.

• Engaging with these stories trains the internet algorithms to show you more flight-related incidents, which only further reinforce your fear.

Instead, practice the art of scrolling past. Think of all the scary headlines you see every day that you don’t click on. Do the same with flight-related ones.

6. Avoid Creating New Rules

After a plane incident, it might feel tempting to make new “rules” for yourself to feel safer—avoiding certain airlines, flying only on specific types of planes, or picking certain seats. While this might help you get on a plane in the short term, it’s ultimately reinforcing the belief that you have control over something that you don’t.

Instead of white-knuckling it through with safety rules, focus on strategies that actually help you to accept and allow your anxious feelings. 

Final Thoughts

It's completely understandable to feel anxious when hearing about plane related incidents, but don’t let fear steer your decisions. Instead, use this moment as an opportunity to challenge your anxious thoughts, stay informed in a healthy way, and continue moving toward your goal of confident travel.

You can handle this, and you don’t have to do it alone.

Need More Support?

Whether you’re looking for one-on-one support or self-paced learning, we’ve got options to help you overcome flight anxiety. If you’re in Minnesota, Iowa, or South Dakota, our individual therapy sessions provide personalized guidance. For those outside these states, our online courses offer the same proven strategies we teach our clients—so you can start building confidence, no matter where you are.

Click here to schedule a 15 minute phone consultation with one of our therapists.

Click here to explore our courses.

Top 6 Packing Tips for Anxious Flyers

Travel can be stressful—even for those without a fear of flying. When anxiety about flying is added to the mix, it can feel downright overwhelming. 

From planning and packing to navigating the airport, every step can drain your energy and make focusing even harder. 

But with the right preparation, you can reduce the stress and even find moments of ease during your journey. 

Here are some practical tips to make your next trip more manageable.

1. Simplify Your Packing with a Capsule Wardrobe

Now, this tip isn’t just for anxious flyers, but for everyone. The more I’ve traveled the more I’ve learned about how to keep stress and anxiety down…and being wise about packing has been a game-changer for me.

 Overpacking adds unnecessary stress over decisions like “what if I need this?” or “how do I fit everything?” Instead, pack versatile pieces that mix and match effortlessly. 

Pro tip: Ask ChatGPT to create a custom capsule wardrobe tailored to your destination, activities, number of days, and weather.

2. Prepare for Physical Symptoms of Anxiety

Anxiety can wreak havoc on your body, making you feel nauseous, hot, or even shaky. Here’s how to prepare for comfort:

• Nausea relief: Ginger chews, saltine crackers, or applesauce pouches can be lifesavers. Please do not skip meals—an empty stomach will only make your anxiety symptoms worse. That’s why these easy to tolerate foods can be helpful. 

• Temperature control: Wear layers and pack a handheld fan or cooling towel. Bring an ice pack or thermos to fill with ice after security for quick relief if needed.

• Hydration: Pack electrolyte packets to mix with water, which will help keep you hydrated since the air on the planes is so dry (and lets not forget the dry mouth caused by anxiety). 

3. Create a Toolkit for Calm

Having strategies at your fingertips can be incredibly grounding. Before your trip, jot down a few calming techniques in a note on your phone or on a physical notecard. Include:

• A list of grounding exercises, like 5-4-3-2-1 to help you reconnect with the present moment

• Intense Candy: If you're prone to panic attacks, consider carrying a candy with a bold, intense flavor like sour or spicy (like WarHeads). The strong sensation in your mouth can be a powerful sensory distraction.

• Motivational reminders, such as your reason for flying (like to reunite with loved ones or experience something new).

• Short empowering phrases like, “I can handle this,” or “This is temporary.”

Keeping these tools easily accessible for when anxiety peaks will help you to use them when you need them most because anxiety doesn’t remember new things in the moment! 

4. Block Out Distractions

Planes can be noisy, bright, and overstimulating—not exactly anxiety-friendly. Packing these items can help:

• Noise-canceling headphones: Tune out the roar of the engines and relax with calming music or a favorite podcast.

• Eye mask: To help you sleep! Even if you can’t fall asleep (thanks anxiety!), the eye mask can help to block out light and help your mind rest. 

5. Stay Engaged During the Flight

Boredom can leave too much room for anxious thoughts to spiral. To counteract this, plan for a variety of activities:

• Download movies, audiobooks, or a new podcast series.

• Bring a puzzle book, sketchpad, or journal.

• Prepare for moments of productivity, like drafting an itinerary or organizing your week ahead.

My rule of thumb? Pack one activity for every hour of the flight to keep your mind occupied.

6. Adopt a Positive Mindset

Lastly, pack your mental toolkit. Flying is an opportunity to challenge yourself and grow. Anxiety might tell you, “You can’t handle this,” but remind yourself: “I’ve prepared, and I’m ready for this adventure.”

Remember This:

These tips are a starting point. Modify them based on what you like the best. My pro tip to you is to have a variety of options to keep yourself busy and calm so that you can switch it up as needed.

Don’t expect any one single tip here to eliminate your anxiety completely. Your anxiety doesn’t work like a light switch that you can just switch off. But these items can help you navigate the discomfort with a little more ease.

If you need more help with flying anxiety,  Grab the Free Flight Anxiety Toolkit for my top 12 tips here.

Anticipation Anxiety Explained: Why It Happens and What You Can Do

That overwhelming feeling of dread that creeps in days or even weeks before something important—it's called anticipation anxiety. Unlike typical pre-event nerves, anticipation anxiety can feel like a mental tug-of-war, making you question your plans, consider backing out, and lose precious sleep. It’s the kind of worry that can gnaw at you and cast a shadow on even the most exciting occasions.

Understanding Anticipation Anxiety

Anticipation anxiety isn’t just about being nervous—it’s the anxious buildup that happens when we fixate on upcoming situations, like travel, presentations, or even doctor visits. The mind starts playing out “what if” scenarios, almost like watching a horror movie in your head. The details can become so vivid and consuming that you’re left feeling drained before the event even happens. This cycle can be hard to break, especially without clear guidance on how to disrupt it.

The Science Behind Anticipation Anxiety

Why does the brain fixate on worst-case scenarios? It’s part of our brain’s survival programming. In the past, this instinct helped keep us safe from threats. But now, even modern-day events—like taking a flight or speaking in front of a crowd—can set off that same response. Our Calm Before Takeoff Workshop dives into how this response shapes our thoughts and offers strategies to counter it.

When you anticipate a stressful situation, your brain signals that you’re in “danger” mode, flooding your body with energy to prepare for action. Even just thinking about a big trip or public speaking can activate this response, convincing you that you shouldn’t do it. And because our minds are naturally inclined to notice patterns, the more often you feel anxious about something, the faster your brain is to react the next time.

Can You Treat Anticipation Anxiety? Absolutely!

Good news: anticipation anxiety isn’t a disorder—it’s a pattern. And patterns can be changed. Evidence-based therapies like ERP, CBT, and ACT offer powerful ways to disrupt this cycle. Our workshop walks anxious flyers through techniques inspired by these therapies to help you start reducing anxiety.

• Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP): By gradually facing the fears that trigger your anxiety, ERP helps you learn that the worst-case scenario rarely happens.

• Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT): ACT encourages you to get a little distance from anxious thoughts, helping you learn to “thank” your mind when it sends scary signals.

• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): CBT helps you examine whether your worst-case thoughts are as realistic as they feel.

  In our workshop, we teach students how to practice techniques like these to help you stay grounded, even when anxiety kicks in.

How to Handle Anticipation Anxiety Right Now

When your mind starts racing through worst-case scenarios, mindfulness and self-compassion can bring you back to the present. Mindfulness keeps you focused on the here and now, helping you step away from the horror story playing in your head. Practicing mindfulness can train your brain to recognize when it’s spiraling and bring you back to reality.

Relaxation techniques can ease physical symptoms, like a racing heart or tense muscles. Though they don’t eliminate anxiety, they make the physical sensations less overwhelming, helping you stay calm.

Reframe Your Thoughts: When you catch yourself telling the scary story, try to remind yourself: “This is just a story. It’s not reality.”

Setting Realistic Goals and Expectations

Even with all these strategies, it’s natural to feel some anxiety. Managing anticipation anxiety is about progresOur workshopction. Each time you practice a skill or shift your mindset, you’re building resilience. Our Calm Before Takeoff workshop will help you practice specific strategies to manage the dreaded “what ifs” so you can stay committed to your plans without letting anxiety take over.

Moving Forward

Anticipation anxiety is manageable, and there’s a path to a calmer, more peaceful experience. Therapists trained in CBT, ACT, and ERP, like those at State of Mind Therapy, can guide you through this journey, offering tailored support and effective tools.

If you’re ready to start feeling more in control of your mind before big events, join me in my upcoming Calm Before Takeoff workshop. Together, we’ll cover the step-by-step strategies to tackle your anticipation anxiety and make even the scariest “what if” thoughts easier to manage.

Ready to Crush Anticipation Anxiety Before Your Next Flight?

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The Secret to a Calm Flight Starts Weeks Before You Take Off

Days and weeks before your flight can leave you in a “zombie” state, feeling completely consumed by worry. Feeling zapped of all your energy and unable to think about anything else is something I hear all the time from anxious flyers.

But here’s something you might not know: managing flight anxiety doesn’t begin when you step on the plane. The key to a calm flight starts much earlier. It all comes down to the work you put in during the days and weeks leading up to your trip.

The Power of Mindset Preparation

The good news? Feeling calm on flight day doesn’t have to be a last-minute scramble. By preparing your mind now, you can create the foundation for a smoother, more confident experience when the big day comes.

How Mindfulness Can Help

One of the most impactful ways to do this is through mindfulness. Mindfulness isn’t about trying to change or stop your thoughts—it’s about practicing how to come back to the present moment when your mind drifts to worried thoughts.

When we’re anxious, it’s easy to get stuck in spirals of “what if” scenarios. Mindfulness helps you gently guide your attention back to the here and now, creating a sense of calm and space between you and those anxious thoughts.

Try This Simple Mindfulness Practice

Here’s something you can try today: Set aside five minutes to sit quietly and focus on your breathing. When your mind drifts to worried thoughts (and it will), gently bring your attention back to what’s around you—what can you see, hear, and feel in this moment? This simple practice can calm your mind and help you stay more grounded.

When I work with fearful flyers in my programs, we often focus on skills for coming back to the present moment, and mindfulness is on of my favorite. It’s incredible to see how practicing this over time helps reduce worry and build confidence leading up to a flight.

What about you?

Have you tried using mindfulness to ease your pre-flight anxiety? Or is there something else that helps you feel more grounded? I’d love to hear what’s worked for you—drop your reply in the comments and let me know!

Remember, you can start managing your anxiety weeks before your flight by gently returning to the present moment whenever your mind drifts into worry. By practicing this now, you’ll make more mental space for calm and confidence on flight day.

You’ve got this!

If you need more help with flying anxiety,  Grab the Free Flight Anxiety Toolkit for my top 12 tips here for more ease on your next flight.

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From Overwhelmed to Hopeful: The Power of One Word

Anxiety can make you feel stuck, as if you're trapped in a cycle of worrying thoughts or avoidance behaviors that you just can’t break. Whether it's avoiding flying, feeling overwhelmed by emotions, or struggling to make decisions, these patterns of anxiety can feel like they're carved in stone.

But here’s the good news: there’s a simple, powerful tool that can help you shift your mindset and see the possibility for growth, even when change feels impossible. And that tool, my friend, is the word “yet.”

The Power of Yet is simple but oh, so powerful. Instead of saying, “I’m not good at handling my anxiety,” try saying, “I’m not good at handling my anxiety yet.” That one little word opens the door to progress. It’s a reminder that just because you’re not where you want to be today doesn’t mean you’ll never get there. You are on your way, and it’s important to recognize that.

Feeling Stuck Is Part of the Process

If you’ve ever felt stuck in your anxiety, you’re not alone. In fact, it’s a normal part of the process. So many of my clients share these same struggles:

• “I’m not good at handling my emotions.”

• “I can’t deal with turbulence.”

• “I don’t like flying and I’ll never be able to enjoy it.”

• “I’m not good at sitting with discomfort.”

• “I’m not confident in my ability to make decisions.”

• “I can’t say no to OCD.”

These thoughts are rooted in fear and doubt. And while they feel heavy, they’re not permanent. The word “yet” adds a sense of possibility. It’s a small but powerful reminder that you are capable of growth.

Shifting From Fixed to Growth Mindset

When you embrace the Power of Yet, you make room for growth—no matter where you are in your journey. Instead of being stuck in the mindset of “I can’t,” you can shift to “I can’t yet.” This subtle change helps you approach challenges with more patience, knowing that skills take time to develop.

Here’s how you can reframe common anxiety-related thoughts using the Power of Yet:

• Instead of: "I’m not good at handling my emotions."
  Try: "I’m not good at handling my emotions yet, but I’m working on building that skill every day."

• Instead of: "I’ll never be able to relax during a flight."
  Try: "I haven’t been able to relax during a flight yet, but I’m taking steps toward feeling more comfortable."

• Instead of: "I can’t handle turbulence."
  Try: "I can’t handle turbulence yet, but I’m learning tools to manage my fear."

• Instead of: "I’m not good at sitting with discomfort."
  Try: "I’m not good at sitting with discomfort yet, but I know I can build that muscle over time."

• Instead of: "I don’t trust myself to make decisions."
  Try: "I’m not confident in my decision-making yet, but I’m working on trusting my judgment."

• Instead of: "I can’t say no to OCD."
  Try: "I haven’t been able to say no to OCD yet, but I’m learning how to resist compulsions and sit with discomfort."

Practical Strategy: Create a Daily Affirmation Practice

Now that you understand the power of yet, it’s time to start using it in your daily life. I get it, this likely isn’t a mindset that comes naturally. It takes practice and intentionality to make the shift—but that’s where daily practice can make all the difference.

Here’s how you can create a simple daily affirmation practice to build the Power of Yet into your routine:

1. Identify areas where you feel stuck: Write down the thoughts that make you feel like you’re not making progress, such as "I can’t manage my anxiety."

2. Add 'yet': Reframe each thought by adding "yet" to the end. For example, "I can’t manage my anxiety yet, but I’m learning strategies to cope."

3. Repeat: Say these new statements out loud every day, preferably in the morning, to start your day with a growth-oriented mindset. Or, record yourself reading them and listen while you go about your day.

4. Track your progress: Over time, notice how your thinking shifts. Even small changes are signs of growth.

Reflective Questions: Embrace the Possibility of Growth

Incorporating the Power of Yet into your life can make a huge difference in how you approach challenges. But it’s also important to take time to reflect on where you might be holding yourself back. Consider these questions to keep you moving forward:

• In what areas of your life do you feel stuck?

• How might adding the word “yet” to your thoughts create a new sense of possibility for you?

• What’s one area where you’ve already made progress, even if it feels small?

• How can you be more patient with yourself as you work toward your goals?

Conclusion

Feeling stuck is a normal part of working through anxiety, but it doesn’t mean you’re destined to stay there. The Power of Yet reminds you that you are capable of change, even when it feels like you’re not. By shifting your language and mindset, you open the door to growth, possibility, and a more compassionate relationship with yourself.

Remember, progress takes time. Be patient with yourself, and keep adding "yet" to your journey.

Ready to work with an anxiety therapist?

State of Mind Therapy in Bloomington can help. Click the button below to sign-up for your free 15 minute phone consultation today.

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How to Talk Back to Your Flight Anxiety

When anxiety shows up before or during a flight, it can feel overwhelming. It’s like that annoying relative who won’t stop giving you advice that you never asked for.

But guess what?

You don’t have to listen!

Talking back to your flight anxiety is one of the most effective ways to take control and feel empowered. By challenging the anxious thoughts, you remind your mind who’s really in charge—you!

Here are 15 powerful things you can say to talk back to your anxiety and regain control:

15 Ways Talk Back to Flight Anxiety

• "Hey, anxiety, I’m not falling for your tricks today!"
  Anxiety loves to tell you that something is wrong, but you know better. This phrase lets your mind know that you’re not buying into the fear.

• "You can’t stop me—I’m stronger than you think!"
  Remind yourself that you’ve faced challenges before, and you’ve made it through. Anxiety may show up, but it doesn’t have the final say.

• "I’ve flown before, and I can do it again."
  You’ve already proven you can handle flying, and this time is no different. Use this to remind yourself of past successes.

• "Nice try, anxiety, but I’m still going on this adventure!"
  Anxiety tries to convince you to back out, but you’ve got a trip to enjoy! This phrase empowers you to stay excited about your journey.

• "I’m the boss here, not you!"
  Put anxiety in its place. You’re the one making the decisions, not your fears.

• "Feeling nervous? That’s okay, but I’m in charge now."
  Acknowledge that feeling anxious is normal, but you’re still in control of what happens next.

• "I know you’re just trying to scare me, but I won’t listen."
  Anxiety often tries to frighten you, but you don’t have to give in. This phrase helps you create some distance between your feelings and your actions.

• "You can’t keep me from having fun!"
  Remind yourself that you’re flying for a reason—whether it’s an exciting trip or seeing loved ones. Anxiety won’t take that away from you.

• "I see what you’re doing, but I’m not afraid of you."
  By calling out your anxiety, you take away its power. You can acknowledge its presence without letting it control you.

• "I’ve got my deep breaths ready—watch me stay calm!"
  You’ve got tools, like deep breathing, to help you manage. Remind yourself that you’re prepared to handle the situation.

• "You’re just a feeling, and feelings don’t control me!"
  Feelings come and go, but they don’t have the power to dictate your actions. You’re stronger than that.

• "You can show up, but I’m still getting on this plane."
  Anxiety may tag along, but you’re still following through with your plans. You don’t need to feel 100% calm to take action.

• "Nope, anxiety, you’re not winning today!"
  Sometimes, the best way to handle anxiety is with a firm “no.” This statement reinforces your decision to move forward.

• "I’m brave enough to fly, even if you try to stop me."
  Courage isn’t the absence of fear—it’s acting even when fear is present. Remind yourself that you’re brave enough to do this.

• "I’ve got all the tools I need, so back off, anxiety!"
  You’re equipped with skills like deep breathing and grounding techniques. You’ve got this under control.

Final Thoughts: When anxiety shows up, it doesn’t get to decide how your flight goes—you do. Talking back to your anxiety is a powerful way to take charge and remind yourself of your own strength. Whether you’re at the gate, mid-flight, or dealing with pre-flight nerves, these phrases can help shift your mindset and keep you grounded (hopefully not literally grounded, because I want you in the air!).

You’ve got this!

If you need more help with flying anxiety,  Grab the Free Flight Anxiety Toolkit for my top 12 tips here for more ease on your next flight.

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How to Manage Anxiety When You’re Afraid of Flying

Flying can feel overwhelming, especially if you struggle with flight anxiety. You’re not alone—so many people face the same fear. Whether it’s the thought of being trapped in the air, turbulence, or worrying about things going wrong, your mind tends to latch onto worst-case scenarios.

But here’s the thing: while flying may trigger your anxiety, it doesn’t have to be something you dread or stop you from traveling all together.

Here are four powerful strategies to help you manage your fear of flying, so you can get on that plane with more confidence and less panic:

1. Remember: Thoughts Are Not Facts

When you’re anxious, your mind can be filled with “what ifs” and worst-case scenarios—“What if I panic mid-flight? What if the plane isn’t safe?” While these thoughts can feel very real, they are just thoughts. They aren’t facts, and they don’t predict the future.

Example:
You’re sitting at the gate, and the thought crosses your mind: “What if there’s turbulence?” Or “what if I have a panic attack and I lose control?” Recognize that this is just your anxiety speaking. Acknowledge the thought without judgment—"Okay, I’m having this thought, but it doesn’t mean it’s going to happen." You can choose not to engage with it or let it dictate your experience.

Quick Tip:
Whenever an anxious thought pops up, practice saying, “This is just a thought, not a fact.” Over time, this practice helps you take the power away from those thoughts.

2. Allow Yourself to Be Uncomfortable

One of the hardest things about flying anxiety is the constant need to feel comfortable and in control. But the truth is, the more you strive for comfort, the more anxious you become. Real relief comes when you let yourself be okay with discomfort.

Example:
Turbulence hits, and your heart starts racing. You immediately feel the urge to tighten your grip on the armrests or control your surroundings. Instead, try this: say to yourself, “It’s okay to feel uncomfortable right now. I can handle these feelings.” 

Quick Tip:
Practice allowing the discomfort to exist without trying to get rid of it. The more you practice sitting with the anxiety, the less power it holds over you.

3. Focus on What You Can Control

When you’re anxious about flying, it’s easy to focus on things beyond your control—like the weather, turbulence, or what’s happening in the cockpit. But this only fuels your anxiety. Instead, shift your focus to the things you can control.

Example:
You can’t control the weather or the movements of the plane, but you can control how you prepare for the flight. Create a calming playlist, bring a good book, or practice deep breathing exercises during takeoff. These small actions can make a big difference in how you feel during the flight.

Quick Tip:
Ask yourself, “What can I control in this moment?” When you focus on these small, manageable tasks, you take back some of the power that anxiety tries to steal from you.

4. Direct Your Attention Away from the Fear

Anxiety wants you to focus all of your attention on the fear. It’s like shining a flashlight directly on the worst-case scenario. But the truth is, you control the flashlight—you can choose where to focus your attention. It’s not easy when your anxiety is spiked, but when you are intentional you can continue to redirect back to the present moment.

Example:
If you notice yourself fixating on every bump or noise during the flight, ask yourself, “Where am I pointing my flashlight right now?” Instead of shining it on the fear, direct your focus elsewhere—whether it’s a conversation with the person next to you, a movie you’re watching, or a breathing exercise you’ve practiced.

Quick Tip:
Remember, rumination (obsessively focusing on your fear) is like a marinade for anxiety—the longer you stew in it, the stronger it becomes. 

Flying can be scary, but by recognizing your anxious thoughts for what they are, allowing discomfort, focusing on what you can control, and directing your attention away from fear, you can manage your anxiety and fly with more peace.

Want even more specific strategies to overcome your fear of flying? Click here and I’ll send you personalized tips straight to your inbox.

If you need more help with flying anxiety,  Grab the Free Flight Anxiety Toolkit for my top 12 tips here for more ease on your next flight.

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3 Essential Grounding Techniques to Help You Regain Control When Anxiety Strikes

When anxiety strikes in high-stress situations—whether it's on a plane, in a crowded room, or right before a big presentation—your emotions can quickly spiral out of control. The good news? You have the power to regulate those emotions with specific skills that help you stay grounded and calm, no matter the situation.

These are strategies you can rely on whether you’re mid-flight, navigating a stressful social situation, or managing everyday anxiety.

1. TIPP: Lower Your Intense Emotions Fast

When anxiety peaks—especially during panic or extreme distress—your body goes into fight-or-flight mode, making it hard to think clearly. That’s where TIPP comes in. This DBT skill is designed to lower the intensity of your emotions quickly by using Temperature, Intense Exercise, Paced Breathing, and Progressive Relaxation.

How to Use TIPP:

• Temperature: When you're in a panic, holding your face in cold water (or splashing it) triggers the body’s dive reflex, slowing your heart rate and calming the nervous system.

• Intense Exercise: If you can, do something physically intense for 1-2 minutes—jumping jacks, running in place, or anything to burn off the excess energy from your anxiety.

• Paced Breathing: Slow, deep breathing helps regulate the body. Try inhaling for 4 counts, holding for 4, and exhaling for 6.

• Progressive Relaxation: Gradually tense and release muscle groups, starting from your toes and working up to your head, to relieve tension in your body.

Example for Flight Anxiety:

Lets say you are about to board a flight and feel panic creeping in. Step into the restroom and splash cold water on your face, take deep breaths, and do a few stretches or tense-and-release exercises before getting on the plane. Using TIPP helps lower your panic so you can board the flight feeling more in control. Need more flying anxiety tips? Check out our free flight anxiety toolkit. 

2. Dropping Anchor: Stay Grounded in the Present Moment

When your mind starts spinning with “what ifs” or spiraling thoughts, "Dropping Anchor" is a simple but powerful skill to pull you back into the present. The idea is to ground yourself by connecting with your body and your surroundings, helping you regain control when emotions feel like they're sweeping you away.

How to Drop Anchor:

• Acknowledge: Name and notice your current feelings. “Here is anxiety” or “here is tightness in my chest.” 

• Notice Your Surroundings: Look around you and observe what you see, hear, and feel in the moment.

• Engage Your Body: Push your feet into the floor, sit tall, and feel the sensations in your body. Move a little—stretch, roll your shoulders, or clench and release your fists to remind yourself of where you are.

Example for Public Speaking Anxiety:
Right before stepping up to speak, your mind races with fears of messing up. Drop anchor by feeling your feet firmly on the ground, taking a slow breath, and noticing the room around you. As you begin, stay connected to your body and surroundings, which will help keep your anxiety from taking over.

3. 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique: Bring Your Focus Back

When anxiety feels overwhelming and you're lost in your thoughts, the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique is a quick way to pull yourself out of your mind and into the present. This technique uses your senses to ground you, shifting your focus away from anxious thoughts and back to the here and now.

How to Use 5-4-3-2-1:

• 5: Look around and name 5 things you can see.

• 4: Notice 4 things you can touch (your clothes, the chair, your phone, etc.).

• 3: Listen for 3 sounds around you.

• 2: Identify 2 things you can smell.

• 1: Find 1 thing you can taste (even just the lingering taste of your last meal).

Example for Fearful Flyers:
Mid-flight, you start to feel panicked. Use the 5-4-3-2-1 technique to ground yourself: look around the cabin, feel the seatbelt, listen to the engines humming, notice the scent of your travel pillow, and focus on the taste of the drink you just had. By engaging your senses, you redirect your focus from the fear to the present.

Example for Intrusive Thoughts:
When intrusive thoughts begin to overwhelm you, use 5-4-3-2-1 to break the loop. Find 5 things you can see in the room, touch the chair you’re sitting on, notice the sound of your breath, identify the scent of the space you’re in, and focus on any taste you can notice. By actively engaging your senses, you shift your focus away from the intrusive thoughts and into the present.

Final Thoughts:

When anxiety hits, it can feel like everything is out of control. But by using these emotion regulation skills—TIPP to quickly regulate intense emotions, Dropping Anchor to stay grounded in the moment, and 5-4-3-2-1 to refocus your attention—you can regain control over your mind and body, no matter the situation.

P.S. We gave some helpful tips on flight anxiety in this blog. If you are looking for more specific strategies to manage flight anxiety, Click here and I’ll send you our free Flight Anxiety Toolkit right to your inbox.

Ready to work with an anxiety therapist?

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How Mindfulness Can Help You Manage Flight Anxiety

You know how it goes: you’re about to book a trip or about to board your plane, and anxiety is in full force.  It becomes hard to focus on the present moment because your mind is consumed by that pit in your stomach or the scary story playing in your head. 

Or you're on the plane and on the edge of your seat hyper aware of every sound and movement around you. 

You can’t seem to focus on anything else in front of you when the noise of anxiety is just. so. loud. 

This is where mindfulness can really help.

What is Mindfulness?

Mindfulness involves being fully present and aware of your current experience—whether it’s your thoughts, sensations, or surroundings—without judgment. It’s about acknowledging your experience as it is, without labeling it as good or bad.

For example, instead of thinking, “Oh no, here comes anxiety again, I hate this,” you would say, “Here’s anxiety” or “Here are some scary thoughts.” This non-judgmental observation helps to reduce the power that these thoughts and feelings have over you.

Mindfulness vs. Meditation

Many people confuse mindfulness with meditation. Meditation can be seen as a formal practice with the goal of becoming more mindful. But mindfulness does not have to be done formally. You can also practice mindfulness in your daily activities such as when walking, doing the dishes, eating, etc.

How Mindfulness Helps with Flight Anxiety

Mindfulness helps you manage anxious thoughts and feelings by allowing you to observe them without being swept away by them. It doesn’t eliminate anxiety, but it helps you handle it more effectively when it shows up. By practicing mindfulness, you can return to the present moment instead of being caught in an anxious spiral.

For instance, if you’re sitting on the plane and start to feel that familiar rush of fear, mindfulness can help you notice these sensations and thoughts without letting them take over. You might observe your heart racing, your palms sweating, and think, “I notice my heart is beating fast” or “I’m having the thought that something bad might happen,” instead of getting caught up in the fear.

Making Mindfulness a Practice

It’s important to remember that mindfulness isn’t a one-time fix. It’s a practice that you need to cultivate over time. Think of it like learning to play an instrument or training for a marathon. The more you practice, the better you become at it.

Don’t expect to practice mindfulness once or twice before a flight and have no anxiety on your flight. Give yourself plenty of time to understand and benefit from this skill. Regular practice will help you build resilience against anxiety and make it easier to stay grounded during your flight. I recommend daily practice for at least two weeks before your flight for the most benefit.

Practical Tips for Practicing Mindfulness

1. Start Small: Begin with just a few minutes of mindfulness each day. Focus on your breath, notice the sensations in your body, and observe your thoughts without judgment.

2. Use Mindfulness Apps: There are many apps available that offer guided mindfulness exercises. These can be especially helpful for beginners.

3. Present Moment Awareness: Focus on the here and now. Pay attention to the sounds around you, the feeling of your feet on the ground, or the sensation of your breath entering and leaving your body. When you notice other thoughts, sounds, or sensations come up, simply redirect your attention back to the present moment.

4. Mindfulness Exercises: Engage in mindfulness exercises such as body scans, where you focus on different parts of your body and notice any sensations without judgment.

5. Daily Integration: Incorporate mindfulness into your daily routine. Practice it while eating, walking, or doing chores. The goal is to make mindfulness a natural part of your life.

Conclusion

Mindfulness is a powerful tool to help manage flight anxiety. By regularly practicing mindfulness, you can learn to observe your anxious thoughts and feelings without being overwhelmed by them. This skill can help you stop losing sleep over anxious thoughts. Doesn’t that sound nice? 

If you’re ready to start managing your flight anxiety more effectively, sign up for our free Flight Anxiety Toolkit today. It's filled with 12 practical tips to help you feel more in control and confident during your flights.

If you need more help with flying anxiety,  Grab the Free Flight Anxiety Toolkit for my top 12 tips here for more ease on your next flight.

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How to Navigate Anxiety in Everyday Life—No Matter the Situation

Anxiety can be sneaky. One moment, you’re living your life, and the next, your mind is hijacked by worries, doubts, or fears. Sometimes anxiety pops up when you’re about to board a plane, other times when you’re about to give a speech, or maybe when you hear about norovirus making its rounds in your community. 

If you’re like many people I work with, your anxiety could revolve around specific fears—whether that’s a fear of flying, a fear of getting sick, or intrusive thoughts that make you question the kind of person you are. No matter the trigger, one thing is clear: anxiety wears many hats. But here’s the good news—it doesn’t have to control your life.

Let’s look at how anxiety shows up, and more importantly, what you can do about it in those difficult moments.

1. Recognize That Thoughts Are Not Facts

Anxiety loves to tell stories, but just because you think something, doesn’t mean it’s true. Your mind might race with worst-case scenarios, but those thoughts are just that—thoughts.

Example for the Anxious Flyer:
As you sit in the airport, waiting for your flight, your mind starts listing everything that could go wrong—turbulence, panic, feeling trapped. These are just possibilities, not realities. Practice saying, "These are just thoughts, not facts," and remind yourself that you're capable of handling discomfort without reacting to every anxious thought. Check out our flight anxiety toolkit for more effective strategies.

Example for Someone with Emetophobia (Fear of Vomiting):
When you hear about a stomach bug going around, your mind immediately jumps to “What if I get sick? What if I can’t stop it?” These thoughts may feel overwhelming, but they don’t predict the future. Remember, your brain is wired to protect you by imagining threats that may never happen.

Example for Those Struggling with Intrusive Thoughts:
You’re going about your day when suddenly, a disturbing thought pops into your mind: “What if I lose control? What if this means something about me?” These intrusive thoughts are not a reflection of your character. Let your actions define your real self, not your thoughts.

2. Allow Yourself to Be Uncomfortable

One of the biggest traps anxiety sets is the promise that you need to feel comfortable and certain to be okay. In reality, the more you try to avoid discomfort, the more anxious you become. True relief comes when you allow yourself to be uncomfortable.

Example for the Anxious Flyer:
Flying can bring a lot of uncertainty—delays, turbulence, confined spaces. Instead of trying to eliminate all discomfort, practice saying, "It’s okay to be uncomfortable right now." You don’t need certainty to feel safe. In fact, you already know this. In many other areas of your life you don’t require as much certainty.

Example for Someone with Emetophobia:
When you hear about an illness, it’s tempting to try and control everything—avoiding people, cleaning excessively, or researching symptoms. Instead, acknowledge that some discomfort is part of life. You can’t control every situation, but you can control how you respond. Practice sitting with that discomfort rather than scrambling to eliminate it.

Example for Those Struggling with Intrusive Thoughts:
Intrusive thoughts often leave you feeling unsettled and desperate for relief. Instead of trying to push the thoughts away, allow yourself to feel uncomfortable. The more you resist, the stronger they become. Practice saying, "I can tolerate this discomfort," and let the thought come and go without fighting it.

3. Focus on What You Can Control

Anxiety thrives when we focus on the things we can’t control. Instead, shift your attention to the aspects of the situation that are within your control. Let go of the rest.

Example for the Anxious Flyer:
While you can’t control turbulence or flight delays, you can control how you prepare for the flight. Bring things that calm you—your favorite podcast, a comforting snack, or a breathing exercise. Focus on these, and let go of trying to predict what might happen on the flight.

Example for Someone with Emetophobia:
You may not be able to control the presence of a stomach bug in your community, but you can control your own hygiene, rest, and stress management. Trying to control every potential risk is impossible, but you can focus on maintaining your own well-being.

Example for Those Struggling with Intrusive Thoughts:
You can’t control the random thoughts that pop into your mind, but you can control your reaction. Instead of engaging with the thought, remind yourself, "I don’t need to respond to every thought." You can choose to focus on something else—whether that’s an activity or a calming mantra like, "I can handle anything that comes my way."

4. Direct Your Attention Where It Serves You

Imagine your attention is like a flashlight—you control where to point it. When anxiety takes over, it’s as if the flashlight is focused directly on the fear. You get to choose to zoom out and redirect it.

Example for the Anxious Flyer:
When turbulence hits, your mind might fixate on the uncomfortable sensation and the “what ifs” that come with it. Instead of letting the flashlight focus on those fears, shift it to something within your control—maybe a breathing technique or visualizing your destination. Remind yourself, "I’m choosing where to point my attention."

Example for Someone with Emetophobia:
Anxiety might urge you to constantly check your body or your children for signs of illness. Instead of zooming in on every sensation, choose to focus your flashlight elsewhere. Maybe it’s a book you’re reading or a hobby you enjoy. The more you direct your attention, the less power anxiety has.

Example for Those Struggling with Intrusive Thoughts:
When an intrusive thought pops up, it’s easy to get stuck on it, replaying it over and over. But you have the power to redirect your focus. Picture yourself turning down the volume on the thought and shifting your focus to something neutral or calming. Your thoughts don’t have to control your attention.

Anxiety can feel overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to dictate your life. By recognizing that your thoughts are not facts, allowing discomfort, focusing on what you can control, and redirecting your attention, you can start to break the cycle of anxiety.

Want more specific tips on overcoming a fear of flying? Click here to grab free flight anxiety toolkit to get started. 

Ready to work with an anxiety therapist?

State of Mind Therapy in Bloomington can help. Click the button below to sign-up for your free 15 minute phone consultation today.

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Overcoming Flight Anxiety When Claustrophobia Takes Control

You've booked your dream vacation, the destination is perfect, and the itinerary is exciting. But then, reality hits you—the thought of getting on that plane sends a rush of fear through your body. 

The idea of being trapped, the doors shutting, and not being able to get out makes you feel like canceling the whole trip.

If this sounds familiar, you're not alone. Many people struggle with flight anxiety related to claustrophobia. But the good news is, there are ways to manage this fear and take back control.

Understanding Claustrophobia in the Context of Flying

It’s often misunderstood that fearful flyers are worried about the plane crashing. But there are many other reasons people fear flying. 

One reason is claustrophobia, or the fear of being trapped in small spaces. For some, the fear rushes in the moment the doors close and there's no way out. 

Others fear being held on the tarmac for hours. The thought of being confined without control over their environment can lead to an overwhelming sense of panic. Or maybe you worry about losing control of yourself and doing something embarrassing on the flight.

If you are looking for support while flying with Claustrophobia, it’s important to know that there are “in the moment” tips for flying and longer-term strategies that can help you become less fearful in small spaces (like flying). This blog will cover examples of both.

Mental Preparation

1. Reframe Your Thoughts: Stop telling yourself that you are stuck on this plane or trapped. Remember, you are CHOOSING to go on this flight. When the plane doors close, think of it as the step to getting where you need to go, not confinement.

2. Bust the Illusion of Control: In many areas of life, we accept things outside our control without much thought. Accepting that you don’t have to control everything can reduce the pressure you put on yourself and help manage your anxiety.

In-Flight Tips

1. Book an Aisle Seat: Having an aisle seat can provide a sense of space and control, making it easier to move around and lessening the feeling of being trapped.

2. Shift Your Perception of Space: Notice the space you do have on the plane. Notice the openness of the aisle, the space around your seat, and the environment outside the window. On a plane, you are free to move around….unlike in a car.

3. Controlled Breathing: Practice deep breathing exercises to calm your nervous system. Inhale slowly through your nose, hold for a few seconds, and exhale through your mouth.

Face Your Fear of Claustrophobia with Exposure

The most effective way to overcome your fear in the long run is to face your fears in small steps over and over again. 

When you repeatedly practice facing your fear, your brain starts to "get used to it" and stops firing off the danger alarm. It will start to recognize flying as low risk and stop trying to warn you of danger. 

One of the challenges with exposure and flight anxiety is that many people don't fly frequently enough, so that can make it more challenging to practice. 

And it doesn't help that flying is expensive, which can keep people from practicing frequently. However, there are ways around this, and working with a professional can help design exposure exercises that can be done even without buying a plane ticket.

Sample Exposures for Fear of Feeling Trapped

• Spend time in small, enclosed spaces like a bathroom stall or elevator.

• Sit in the back seat of a car for a short drive.

• Practice closing the door and staying in a room for a set period.

• Take short flights, gradually increasing the duration.

These are just a few examples of exposures. A therapist trained in exposure therapy will help create a personalized exposure menu that targets the right activities and guides the pace for the best results.

Conclusion

Flight anxiety related to claustrophobia can feel overwhelming, but with the right strategies and support, you can manage it effectively. Remember, you're not alone and you don’t have to figure this out on your own. Therapists trained in CBT and exposure therapy can provide personalized guidance to help you overcome your fear.

Need More Support With Your Fear of Flying?

If you need more help with flying anxiety,  Grab the Free Flight Anxiety Toolkit for my top 12 tips here for more ease on your next flight.

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Using Affirmations to Help with Flight Anxiety

If the thought of sitting in a plane makes you hyperventilate, it can leave you feeling defeated and overwhelmed. Many people grapple with the intense anxiety around flying despite their passion for travel.

Flight anxiety can be manageable with the right tools in place. Affirmations can be a powerful tool to help manage and reduce flight anxiety, allowing you to shift your mindset from hating flying to finding it enjoyable.

What Are Affirmations?

Affirmations are positive statements that you repeat to yourself to challenge and overcome negative thoughts. They help reframe your mindset and instill a sense of calm and confidence. Think of affirmations as mental conditioning – just like you would train your body, you can train your mind to respond differently to anxiety triggers.

How Affirmations Help with Flight Anxiety

Flight anxiety often involves focusing on worst-case scenarios and negative thoughts. This amplifies your fear and makes it feel uncontrollable. Affirmations help by redirecting your focus from these negative thoughts to positive, reassuring statements. Here’s how they work:

1. Shift Your Focus: Affirmations help shift your focus from fear-based thoughts to more positive and empowering ones.

2. Rewire Your Brain: By repeating affirmations, you start to rewire your brain to think more positively and calmly about flying.

3. Build Confidence: Affirmations can boost your confidence by reinforcing the belief that you can handle the flight and any anxiety that comes with it.

4. Reduce Anxiety: Consistent use of affirmations can reduce overall anxiety levels by creating a more positive mindset.

How to Implement Affirmations

Using affirmations effectively involves a few simple steps:

1. Choose Your Affirmations: Select affirmations that resonate with you and address your specific fears about flying. These should be positive, present-tense statements.

2. Repeat Regularly: Consistency is key. Repeat your affirmations daily, especially in the weeks leading up to your flight. Say them out loud, write them down, or even record yourself saying them and listen to the recording.

3. Visualize: As you say your affirmations, visualize yourself feeling calm and confident on the flight. This helps reinforce the positive message.

4. Use During the Flight: Have your affirmations handy during the flight. Repeat them to yourself if you start to feel anxious.

Sample Affirmations for Flight Anxiety

Here are a few examples of affirmations you can use:

• "I am calm and relaxed during my flight."

• "Flying is safe, and I trust the process."

• "I am in control of my thoughts and emotions."

• "I can handle any turbulence with ease."

• "I am excited about my journey and the destination."

Want to start using affirmations to conquer your flight anxiety? I’ve created a list of 20 ready-to-use affirmations specifically designed to help with flight anxiety. These affirmations can be your go-to tool to calm your nerves and build confidence before and during your flight.

Download the Flight Anxiety Affirmation Guide

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Conquering Anticipation Anxiety for Fearful Flyers

You decide you are going to book that vacation. You start to research flights and notice your stomach churn.

You can barely hit the "book now" button because the idea of getting on that plane makes this all feel like too much.

The weeks, days, and even hours leading up to a flight can be filled with dread and worry. This is what we call anticipation anxiety – it’s the mental anguish you experience before you do something you’re anxious or nervous about. It's a common struggle for many who fear flying.

Understanding Anticipation Anxiety

So, what triggers this anxiety? For many fearful flyers, the mere thought of getting on a plane can set it off. You might find yourself tangled up in knots, constantly imagining worst-case scenarios, feeling your heart race, and experiencing sleepless nights. It's like watching a horror movie in your head, where you are the star in a catastrophic event.

If you’re not sure what triggers your anxiety, try keeping a log for one week of when you feel anxious. Notice the symptoms of worry you experience before a flight. If you find yourself thinking "what if" and feeling a whirlwind inside your mind, take note. This can help you identify patterns and specific situations that trigger your anticipation anxiety.

The Science Behind Anticipation Anxiety

Ever wondered why some people are more prone to this type of anxiety? It's not just in your head; there are neurological factors at play. When you experience anxiety, your fight, flight, freeze system is activated. This is your survival system (and no, you can’t get rid of it….and you wouldn’t want to!).

When your brain perceives that something is a threat or dangerous – like flying – it sends signals to give you extra energy to run or fight. If you have a pattern of feeling anxious about flying, your brain has learned to go into fight, flight, or freeze mode even at the smallest reminder of flying.

But here's the thing: anticipation anxiety isn't a disorder on its own. It's a thinking pattern that often accompanies various anxiety disorders. Most people will say that the anticipation was worse than the actual flight.

Why?

Because when you're anticipating the worst-case scenario, you're devoting endless time and energy to imagining a catastrophic situation. But when you're actually on the flight, you're busy dealing with the real situation, leaving less room for those scary thoughts.

Can Anticipation Anxiety Be Treated?

Absolutely! There's hope, and evidence-based treatments like Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) can work wonders.

• ERP Therapy: Helps you face your fears step by step. Overtime, you learn that the scary story in your mind doesn’t usually happen. This help you to start seeing these thoughts and unimportant and untrue.

• Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT): Teaches you to create distance from anxious thoughts and commit to what’s important, like traveling to visit loved ones or creating new memories.

• CBT: Helps you examine the accuracy of your thoughts and find a more realistic and helpful way of viewing the situation. For instance, if you’re worried about a plane crash, CBT encourages you to consider the evidence and think about how many flights land safely every day.

How Can I Manage Anticipation Anxiety?

Managing anticipation anxiety effectively involves several strategies:

• Mindfulness: This is like a mental workout that helps you pull yourself back to the present moment when your mind starts spiraling into worst-case scenarios.

• Relaxation Techniques: These can ease the physical sensations of anxiety, like muscle tension and a rapid heartbeat.

• Cognitive Restructuring: Challenge catastrophic thoughts and see situations more realistically.

• Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. Acknowledge that these thoughts and feelings are tough but remember that you’re not alone and can handle this.

• Acknowledging the Scary Story: Recognize that your mind is playing a horror movie, and these thoughts are just stories, not reality.

Setting Realistic Goals and Expectations

It's essential to set realistic goals in your journey to overcome anticipation anxiety. Even with effective strategies, you might still feel anxious at times, and that's okay. It takes consistent effort and practice to learn new skills and habits.

So, as long as you keep practicing, you will make progress. The key is not to beat yourself up about it. Instead, acknowledge your anxiety and remind yourself that it's natural. With the right tools, you can handle it.

Conclusion

Here’s the good news: anticipation anxiety is treatable. If you find yourself struggling, don’t hesitate to seek help. Therapists trained in CBT, ACT, and ERP, like those at State of Mind Therapy, can guide you through this journey.

Need More Support With Your Fear of Flying?

If you need more help with flying anxiety,  Grab the Free Flight Anxiety Toolkit for my top 12 tips here for more ease on your next flight.

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Managing Flight Anxiety with CBT: Identifying Worst-Case, Best-Case, and Most Likely Scenarios

Flight anxiety can be overwhelming, often leading to a cascade of "what if" thoughts that can make the experience of flying feel insurmountable. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) offers practical strategies to help manage these anxious thoughts. One effective technique is identifying the worst-case, best-case, and most likely scenarios. This approach can help you gain perspective and reduce anxiety by challenging irrational fears.

Understanding the Technique

CBT is a therapeutic approach that focuses on changing unhelpful thinking patterns and behaviors. By identifying and challenging negative thoughts, you can develop healthier, more realistic ways of thinking. The worst-case, best-case, and most likely scenario technique is a straightforward but powerful tool within CBT that helps you balance your thinking and manage anxiety.

Step-by-Step Guide to Using This CBT Technique

1. Identify the Worst-Case Scenario

When you're feeling anxious about flying, your mind might automatically jump to the worst possible outcome. This is a natural response, but it's often exaggerated and not based on reality.

• Example: "What if the plane crashes and I die?"

While this thought is terrifying, it's essential to acknowledge it and then move on to the next step.

2. Identify the Best-Case Scenario

Next, consider the best possible outcome. This helps balance out the negativity by acknowledging that positive outcomes are also possible.

• Example: "What if the flight is smooth, and I arrive safely at my destination feeling calm and happy?"

This positive scenario is just as likely as the worst-case scenario and helps create a balanced view.

3. Identify the Most Likely Scenario

Finally, identify the most realistic and likely outcome. This step grounds you in reality and helps you see the situation more clearly.

• Example: "The flight will probably be uneventful. There might be some turbulence, but the plane is designed to handle it, and I will arrive safely."

By focusing on the most likely scenario, you can reduce your anxiety by reminding yourself of the realistic outcome.

Applying the Technique in Real Life

Step 1: Write It Down

Start by writing down your worst-case, best-case, and most likely scenarios. Seeing your thoughts on paper can help you process them more effectively.

Step 2: Challenge Irrational Thoughts

Look at the worst-case scenario and challenge its validity. What evidence do you have that this will happen? Often, you'll find that your fears are based on irrational thoughts rather than facts.

Step 3: Reframe Your Thinking

Use the best-case and most likely scenarios to reframe your thinking. Remind yourself that while anything is possible, the most probable outcome is usually far less dramatic than your worst fears.

Step 4: Practice Regularly

Like any skill, this technique requires practice. The more you use it, the more natural it will become. Over time, you'll find that your anxiety decreases as you develop a more balanced way of thinking.

Conclusion

Managing flight anxiety is a journey, but with tools like the worst-case, best-case, and most likely scenario technique from CBT, you can take significant steps towards overcoming your fears. By challenging your irrational thoughts and grounding yourself in reality, you can transform your anxious moments into opportunities for growth and resilience.

If you found this technique helpful and want more strategies to manage your flight anxiety, consider downloading our Free Flight Anxiety Toolkit. It’s packed with practical tips and resources to help you fly with confidence.

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Should You Use Anti-Anxiety Medication for Flying? Here's My Take

Many people seek out a prescription for anti-anxiety medication to use while traveling or during other high-anxiety times. If you’re considering this option, I want to share my personal (and professional) take on it and give you a few things to consider.

IMPORTANT: Deciding to take medication is a personal decision, and this is by no means professional advice. Always consult your doctor or therapist to determine whether medication is right for you.

Understanding Anti-Anxiety Medication

When I talk about anti-anxiety medication, I’m referring to quick-acting medications like Valium, Xanax, or Klonopin. These are different from other anxiety medications such as Zoloft or Prozac, which are SSRIs and not quick-acting. SSRI’s are a great option for daily anxiety or depression management.

Reasons to Consider NOT Using Quick-Acting Medication

While quick-acting anti-anxiety medication can be helpful, there are important reasons to think twice about relying on them for flying:

1. It Won't Resolve Your Fear

Even if the medication helps you to fly, it’s just a band-aid. It doesn’t address the root of the problem or help you learn that flying is safe and that you can handle discomfort. You may end up relying on the medication every time you fly.

2. You May Find You Need It More and More

Because anti-anxiety medication is effective, you might start turning to it during other anxious times instead of learning other coping skills. For many people, anxiety about flying doesn’t just occur on the day of the flight but also in the days and weeks leading up to it, increasing the likelihood of turning to medication.

3. It May Not Be Helpful in an Actual Emergency

These medications can make you drowsy and sleepy. In the event of an actual emergency, your ability to react quickly could be impaired, or it might be difficult for others to wake you.

4. It May Not Be Safe with Other Medications

If you’re taking other medications, you need to ensure that it’s safe to use anti-anxiety medications concurrently. You don’t want to experience a medical emergency while 30,000 feet in the air.

When Medication Might Make Sense

There are situations where taking anti-anxiety medication for flying might make sense. For example, if you have to fly somewhere and have not yet developed the skills or supports to manage your anxiety in other ways, medication can be a temporary solution to help you get through the flight. In such cases, it’s important to work with your healthcare provider to ensure it’s the best option for you.

If you have been taking medication for flight anxiety or bring it with you “just in case” and wish to fly confidently without it. Then you can create a plan with your provider about decreasing the use of the medication.

What About Other Substances?

Some people turn to cannabis or alcohol instead of medication, but these substances have their own downfalls.

Alcohol

Be cautious with alcohol. It can cause drowsiness, dehydration, and hangovers. You especially don’t want to mix alcohol with anti-anxiety medication. Remember that scene in "Bridesmaids"?

Marijuana or CBD

Marijuana comes in various forms—some make you more stimulated, some sleepy, and some paranoid. If you don’t typically use marijuana, you may not know how it will impact you, potentially increasing your anxiety during the flight.

Conclusion

While quick-acting anti-anxiety medications can be useful in certain situations, they are not a long-term solution for overcoming the fear of flying. They may help you get through a flight, but they don’t address the underlying anxiety. It’s important to consider the potential downsides and explore other coping strategies that can help you manage your fear more effectively.

Remember, it’s about finding what works best for you and making an informed decision. Always consult with a healthcare professional before starting any new medication or substance.

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Breaking the Cycle of Reassurance Seeking: A New Approach to Handling Flight Anxiety

When you're dealing with a fear of flying, it's natural to seek out information to calm your fears. Reviewing facts about flying safety might seem like a good way to reassure yourself. However, if you find yourself endlessly searching and learning, you might be stuck in a cycle of reassurance seeking. This approach can actually make your anxiety worse in the long run. Let's explore why this happens and what you can do to break the cycle and handle your flight anxiety more effectively.

The Trap of Reassurance Seeking

Reassurance seeking involves constantly looking for information or asking for validation to reduce anxiety. While this can provide temporary relief, it often leads to more anxiety over time. Here’s why:

• Temporary Relief: Finding a reassuring fact or receiving validation might make you feel better momentarily, but the relief is short-lived.

• Increased Anxiety: The more you seek reassurance, the more your brain becomes dependent on it. This can increase overall anxiety because you're not addressing the root cause of your fear.

• Perpetuating the Cycle: Each time you look up safety facts or seek validation, you reinforce the idea that flying is something to be feared. This keeps you trapped in a cycle of anxiety and reassurance seeking.

Initial Learning vs. Endless Searching

It's important to differentiate between helpful initial learning and unproductive endless searching.

• Initial Learning: When you first start addressing your fear of flying, it can be helpful to learn about the basics of flying and safety protocols. This initial knowledge can provide a foundation of understanding and reduce some of the unknowns.

• Endless Searching: Once you have a basic understanding, continuing to look up facts and seek reassurance becomes counterproductive. Instead of reducing anxiety, it can increase it by keeping your mind focused on the fear.

A New Approach to Handling Flight Anxiety

To effectively manage flight anxiety, it's essential to change your approach. Here are some strategies to help you break the cycle of reassurance seeking and handle your anxiety more effectively:

1. Acknowledge Your Anxiety: Recognize that feeling anxious about flying is common and that it's okay to have these feelings. Instead of trying to eliminate anxiety, focus on managing it.

2. Limit Reassurance Seeking: Set boundaries for yourself regarding how often you look up safety facts or ask for validation. Gradually reduce this behavior to break the cycle.

3. Practice Mindfulness: Engage in mindfulness exercises to stay present and grounded. This can help reduce the urge to seek reassurance and shift your focus away from anxiety.

4. Develop Coping Strategies: Learn and practice coping strategies such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or visualization techniques to manage anxiety during flights.

5. Seek Professional Help: Consider working with a therapist who specializes in anxiety and phobias. They can provide you with tools and techniques to manage your fear of flying more effectively.

Conclusion

While it might seem helpful to constantly review facts about flying safety, this approach can keep you stuck in a cycle of reassurance seeking and increase your anxiety over time. By recognizing this pattern and adopting new strategies to manage your anxiety, you can break free from the cycle and start handling your fear of flying more effectively. Remember, the goal isn't to eliminate anxiety but to learn how to manage it so you can enjoy your travels with greater confidence and peace of mind.

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How to Find the Motivation to Overcome Your Fear of Flying

Overcoming a fear of flying is no small feat. It requires courage, determination, and a clear understanding of why it's important to you. Often, the key to staying motivated throughout this journey lies in recognizing the personal consequences of your fear. By reflecting on how your fear of flying has impacted your life, you can find the motivation to push through and achieve lasting change.

Finding Your Personal "Why"

Understanding why overcoming your fear of flying is important can be a game-changer. When you know the deeper reasons behind your decision, it becomes easier to stay focused and motivated. Here's a simple exercise to help you uncover your personal "why."

Exercise: Reflecting on the Cost of Fear

Take a moment to think about why flying, even though it's scary, matters to you. Consider how getting over this fear connects with the things that truly matter in your life—like your relationships, job, and personal growth. Reflecting on these aspects can provide powerful motivation.

Prompt:

1. Personal Relationships: How has your fear of flying impacted your relationships with family and friends? Think about shared experiences and moments affected by your fear.

2. Career Opportunities: Reflect on any instances where your fear might have influenced job opportunities or professional growth. How has it played a role in your career path?

3. Overall Quality of Life: Explore the broader impact on your day-to-day life. In what ways has your fear affected your overall well-being and happiness?

4. Missed Opportunities: Identify specific opportunities that you might have missed out on due to your fear. What could have been different if fear wasn't a factor?

Conclusion

Using the consequences of your fear as motivation can be incredibly powerful. By recognizing the impact your fear of flying has had on your life, you can find the drive to make meaningful changes. This isn't just about conquering a fear; it's about reclaiming your life and opening up new possibilities. Remember, every step you take brings you closer to overcoming your fear and living a fuller, more liberated life.

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Breaking the Cycle of Quick Fixes: Understanding Their Limitations for Managing Flight Anxiety

For many, the thought of flying triggers significant anxiety. It's natural to seek quick fixes to alleviate these fears, such as avoiding flights, relying on medication or alcohol, seeking endless reassurance, or performing rituals.

While these methods might provide temporary relief, they often perpetuate the cycle of fear and do not address the root cause of flight anxiety.

In this blog, we'll explore why these quick fixes are not the best long-term solutions and offer a glimpse into more effective strategies for managing your flight anxiety.

The Limitations of Quick Fixes

1. Avoidance

Avoiding flights might seem like an easy solution, but it only reinforces your fear. Each time you avoid flying, you miss the opportunity to confront and manage your anxiety. This avoidance can limit your life experiences and opportunities, ultimately making the fear even more daunting. Over time, avoidance can make your world smaller and your fear even bigger.

2. Medication

While medications like Valium, Xanax, or Klonopin can provide temporary relief, they do not address the underlying anxiety. Over time, you might find yourself relying on these medications more frequently, which can lead to dependency. Additionally, medications can make you drowsy, which is not ideal in an emergency situation. They might help you get through a flight, but they don't help you learn to manage your anxiety in a meaningful way.

3. Alcohol

Using alcohol to calm nerves can have negative consequences, such as dehydration, drowsiness, and impaired judgment. While it may provide short-term relief, it doesn’t equip you with the tools you need to manage your anxiety in the long run. Plus, mixing alcohol with anti-anxiety medication can be dangerous, compounding the risks.

4. Seeking Endless Reassurance

Constantly seeking reassurance about flight safety or your ability to handle flying can provide temporary comfort but ultimately reinforces anxiety. Each time you ask for reassurance, you tell your brain that flying is something to be feared, perpetuating the cycle of anxiety.

5. Performing Rituals

Engaging in rituals or compulsive behaviors to feel safe can also reinforce anxiety. These rituals might offer a temporary sense of control, but they don't address the root cause of your fear. Instead, they keep you trapped in a cycle of dependency on these behaviors.

The Real Cost of Quick Fixes

Quick fixes might seem appealing because they offer immediate relief, but they come with significant downsides:

• Temporary Relief: Quick fixes provide a temporary solution, but they don’t address the root cause of anxiety.

• Reinforcement of Fear: Each time you rely on a quick fix, you reinforce the idea that flying is something to be feared and avoided.

• Lack of Skill Development: Quick fixes don’t help you develop the coping skills needed to manage anxiety effectively.

• Potential Health Risks: Relying on medication or alcohol can have adverse health effects and may not be safe in the long run.

Moving Beyond Quick Fixes

Understanding the limitations of quick fixes is the first step towards breaking the cycle of flight anxiety. While they may offer temporary relief, they don’t provide the lasting change you need to overcome your fear of flying.

To truly manage your flight anxiety, it’s essential to develop effective, long-term strategies. This involves learning to accept your anxious feelings, preparing thoughtfully for flights, and practicing mindfulness and other coping techniques.

For more detailed strategies and support, I’ve created a comprehensive Flight Anxiety Toolkit. This toolkit is designed to provide you with practical, effective tools to help you manage your flight anxiety and make flying a more comfortable experience.

Need More Support With Your Fear of Flying?

If you need more help with flying anxiety,  Grab the Free Flight Anxiety Toolkit for my top 12 tips here for more ease on your next flight.

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Turbulence Toolkit: Your Path to Confident Flying

Download the Free Audio Exercise for Taming Turbulence

DOWNLOAD THE TURBULENCE TAMER AUDIO EXERCISE HERE

Have you ever felt your heart race as the plane hits turbulence? You're not alone. Many people experience significant anxiety during flights, especially when turbulence strikes. Having dealt with flying anxiety myself, I understand how challenging it can be. Over time, I've found effective strategies to transform my flying experience from stressful to confident. In this blog post, I'll share practical tips and a free guided audio exercise to help you navigate turbulence with ease.

Understanding Turbulence

Turbulence can be a major source of anxiety, but understanding what it is and how planes handle it can ease your mind. Think of turbulence as a bumpy road—it’s uncomfortable but not dangerous. I recently saw a TikTok video comparing planes to jello, which helped me visualize how planes safely navigate through turbulence.

Accepting turbulence as a routine part of flying can also reduce anticipatory anxiety. Instead of dreading it, recognizing turbulence as a normal occurrence can help you stay calm.

Effective Strategies for Managing Turbulence

Understanding turbulence is a start, but having practical strategies can make a big difference during those bumpy moments. Here are some techniques that have helped me manage my flying anxiety:

• Trust the Pilots: Skip turbulence prediction apps and rely on the expertise of pilots who are trained to handle turbulent conditions.

• Lift Your Feet: Try lifting your feet off the floor during turbulence to minimize the sensations. It’s a simple trick that can help reduce discomfort.

• Don’t Avoid Flights: Instead of letting fear dictate your flight choices, work on building confidence and resilience. Avoiding flights only reinforces anxiety.

• Pilot Perspective: Understand that pilots sometimes prefer flying through turbulence for efficiency. They navigate turbulence for passenger comfort, so trust their judgment.

• Keep Flying: The more you fly, the more familiar and comfortable you’ll become. Facing your fears directly can reduce the impact of turbulence on your overall experience.

Free Audio Exercise for Turbulence

Along with these tips, I'm excited to offer you a free audio exercise designed to help manage turbulence anxiety. This guided track can be your companion on your next flight, helping you stay calm and composed during rough patches. Download the Turbulence Tamer audio exercise here.

Turbulence doesn’t have to be a source of intense anxiety. By understanding its nature and using effective strategies, you can transform your flying experience. Remember, confidence comes with practice and exposure. Keep flying, face your fears, and soon turbulence will just be another part of your journey.

DOWNLOAD THE TURBULENCE TAMER AUDIO EXERCISE HERE

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