Struggling to Find a Therapist Who Gets You? Try This ChatGPT Trick
Why Finding the Right Therapist Feels So Hard
Starting therapy can be one of the most meaningful decisions you ever make. But finding a therapist you actually vibe with can feel like trying to find a needle in a haystack.
There are so many profiles to sift through, and if you’ve never been to therapy before, it’s hard to even know what you’re looking for. People often tell me they feel overwhelmed before they even begin—they want help, but they’re don’t know where to start.
That’s where tools like ChatGPT can help. In this post, I’ll walk you through how to use AI to make this process feel way more doable, plus a ready-to-copy prompt you can paste right into ChatGPT to narrow your search and actually get somewhere.
What Does “Fit” Really Mean in Therapy?
First of all, “fit” doesn’t mean “someone who’s available next Tuesday and takes your insurance.” It means someone you vibe with—and someone who has the skill set to actually help you.
This is a two-part equation. A therapist might be warm, validating, and easy to talk to—but if they don’t have the right training or experience for your specific concerns, your progress will be limited.
For example, at my practice, clients often tell me they really liked their last therapist. They felt supported and seen but they were still stuck. Why? Because that therapist didn’t specialize in OCD (which is what we are known for). They had great rapport, but not the clinical expertise to guide them through evidence-based treatment like Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP). That mismatch led to months of time and money spent without much progress to show for it.
So what actually makes someone a good fit? It’s not just about connection—it’s about alignment in approach, style, and experience. Here are some of the key areas to consider:
Therapist approach – Do you want practical tools and clear guidance? A more open-ended, insight-based approach? Someone who’s a teacher and coach—or someone reflective and gentle?
Communication style – Direct and structured? Curious and conversational? Supportive and validating?
Cultural identity & lived experience – Do you want a therapist who shares or deeply understands aspects of your background?
Logistics – In-person or telehealth? Evening availability? Budget and location?
Therapy isn’t one-size-fits-all. The more intentional you are on the front end, the better the experience will be.
Step One: Pause and Reflect
Before you start your search, slow down and think through what matters to you. I often walk potential clients through this same reflection because getting clear on what you need upfront can make everything less overwhelming.
Use these as journal prompts or bullet points to jot down:
What am I struggling with right now?
What do I want to be different in my life six months from now?
Have I tried therapy before? What worked (or didn’t)?
What felt helpful or not helpful about my past therapist’s style?
Do I want someone who gives structure and tools or more of a space to process?
What are my “must-haves” and my “nice-to-haves” in a therapist?
What’s my budget and location?
Do I want in-person, telehealth, or flexibility with both?
Step Two: Let ChatGPT Help You Get Started
Here’s where ChatGPT can come in handy. It can help you:
Clarify your needs and goals
Create a personalized search prompt
Understand what therapy terms (like ERP or ACT) actually mean
Generate strategies for where and how to search
It will show you local therapists that match your criteria.
Keep in mind, ChatGPT isn’t perfect. Use it as a helpful starting point. Not your only source, and follow up with your own research.
Step Three: Use This ChatGPT Prompt to Find a Good-Fit Therapist
Copy, paste, and customize the following prompt:
“Act as a mental health care concierge with expertise in helping individuals find local therapists who match their needs, preferences, and values. I’m looking for a therapist who would be the best fit for me based on my goals and challenges.
Here’s what I’m looking for:
I’m struggling with [your concern, e.g., anxiety, OCD, trauma]
I want to [feel less stuck, learn new coping skills, stop overthinking, etc.]
My must-haves: [e.g., female therapist, CBT, anxiety experience]
My nice-to-haves: [evening sessions, ACT approach, telehealth]
I live near [your city or zip code] and prefer [in-person/telehealth/both]
My budget is [your range or note if using insurance or HSA/FSA]
Please ask me any follow-up questions to better understand my needs. Then, help me figure out where and how to search for the best match therapist in my area.”
Examples of Prompts for Specific Goals
If you want to adjust your prompt, here’s how that might look:
Example 1: OCD and ERP in Minnesota “I have OCD with intrusive thoughts and compulsions. I want a therapist in Minneapolis who uses CBT and ERP. I prefer telehealth and need someone who can help me stop avoiding things. My budget is around $150/session and I’ll be using my HSA.”
Example 2: LGBTQ+ Affirming and Trauma-Informed “I’m a queer adult navigating past trauma and relationship anxiety. I want someone LGBTQ+ affirming, experienced in trauma, and who uses EMDR or ACT. I live near St. Paul and would like in-person sessions. I can use out-of-network benefits.”
Example 3: First-Time Therapy for Overthinking and Burnout “I’ve never done therapy before, but I feel burned out and stuck in overthinking. I’m in Bloomington, MN, and want a therapist who feels warm but gives tools. Female preferred. I’d like a mix of structure and support, and I’m open to insurance or private pay”
What to Do With the Results
Once you’ve got some names or direction, here’s how to move forward:
Read their website – Does it speak directly to what you're going through?
Check their fees and insurance info – Make sure their rates or reimbursement options work for your budget. Many therapists list their fees and insurance info on their website. If they don’t, you’ll need to ask directly.
Check their focus – Are they generalists or do they specialize in the issue you want help with?
⚠️ If their profile lists everything under the sun (anxiety, depression, couples, teens, trauma, etc.), they’re likely more of a generalist. That doesn’t mean they’re not good—but if you're looking for someone who really gets how to treat a specific struggle you are facing, like OCD, emetophobia, or fear of flying, look for profiles that go deeper into that topic. Those therapists may get you to results faster.
Book a consult call – Ask how they work, what to expect, and whether they’ve helped people like you before.
What If the Therapist You Want Is Out-of-Network?
That doesn’t have to be a deal-breaker. A lot of specialized therapists (like those who treat OCD or flight anxiety) work outside of insurance networks. It gives them more flexibility in how they work and often leads to better results for clients.
I’ve personally chosen to work with out-of-network therapists when they specialized in exactly what I needed help with. Which meant that I got what I needed faster.
If you’re using out-of-network benefits, ask your insurance company:
What are my out-of-network mental health benefits?
What is my deductible?
How much will be reimbursed per session (CPT codes 90834 or 90837)?
You can also use HSA or FSA funds to pay for therapy. At State of Mind Therapy, we provide superbills and walk clients through how to request reimbursement—or even a single case agreement if it applies.
How We Support Clients at State of Mind Therapy
We specialize in helping people who want to break free from the worry loop and be more present in their lives.
If you’ve tried therapy before and it didn’t quite land—or if you’re new and unsure where to start—we focus on helping you stop spiraling and have more control over life using evidence-based treatment strategies.
We work with clients across Minnesota, Iowa, and South Dakota. We offer both in-person and virtual therapy. Learn more about our approach and team here.
A Word of Encouragement
This process can feel like a lot. But finding a therapist who really gets you—and has the tools to help—is worth it. Let this blog be your starting point.
Try the ChatGPT prompt above and take one step forward. Or send this blog to a friend who keeps saying they should find someone.
Need a Little Extra Support While You Search?
If you’re feeling overwhelmed while looking for a therapist, these resources might give you clarity or encouragement along the way:
Ready to take the next step?
Book a free consultation with a therapist on our team. We’d love to help you figure out whether we’re the right fit.
You might also like:
Is Full Recovery from Anxiety, Phobias, and OCD Possible?
[Coming Soon: What First-Time Therapy Clients Often Ask Us]
[Coming Soon: How to Prepare for Your First Therapy Session]