3 Essential Grounding Techniques to Help You Regain Control When Anxiety Strikes
When anxiety strikes in high-stress situations—whether it's on a plane, in a crowded room, or right before a big presentation—your emotions can quickly spiral out of control. The good news? You have the power to regulate those emotions with specific skills that help you stay grounded and calm, no matter the situation.
These are strategies you can rely on whether you’re mid-flight, navigating a stressful social situation, or managing everyday anxiety.
1. TIPP: Lower Your Intense Emotions Fast
When anxiety peaks—especially during panic or extreme distress—your body goes into fight-or-flight mode, making it hard to think clearly. That’s where TIPP comes in. This DBT skill is designed to lower the intensity of your emotions quickly by using Temperature, Intense Exercise, Paced Breathing, and Progressive Relaxation.
How to Use TIPP:
Temperature: When you're in a panic, holding your face in cold water (or splashing it) triggers the body’s dive reflex, slowing your heart rate and calming the nervous system.
Intense Exercise: If you can, do something physically intense for 1-2 minutes—jumping jacks, running in place, or anything to burn off the excess energy from your anxiety.
Paced Breathing: Slow, deep breathing helps regulate the body. Try inhaling for 4 counts, holding for 4, and exhaling for 6.
Progressive Relaxation: Gradually tense and release muscle groups, starting from your toes and working up to your head, to relieve tension in your body.
Example for Flight Anxiety:
Lets say you are about to board a flight and feel panic creeping in. Step into the restroom and splash cold water on your face, take deep breaths, and do a few stretches or tense-and-release exercises before getting on the plane. Using TIPP helps lower your panic so you can board the flight feeling more in control. Need more flying anxiety tips? Check out our free flight anxiety toolkit.
2. Dropping Anchor: Stay Grounded in the Present Moment
When your mind starts spinning with “what ifs” or spiraling thoughts, "Dropping Anchor" is a simple but powerful skill to pull you back into the present. The idea is to ground yourself by connecting with your body and your surroundings, helping you regain control when emotions feel like they're sweeping you away.
How to Drop Anchor:
Acknowledge: Name and notice your current feelings. “Here is anxiety” or “here is tightness in my chest.”
Notice Your Surroundings: Look around you and observe what you see, hear, and feel in the moment.
Engage Your Body: Push your feet into the floor, sit tall, and feel the sensations in your body. Move a little—stretch, roll your shoulders, or clench and release your fists to remind yourself of where you are.
Example for Public Speaking Anxiety:
Right before stepping up to speak, your mind races with fears of messing up. Drop anchor by feeling your feet firmly on the ground, taking a slow breath, and noticing the room around you. As you begin, stay connected to your body and surroundings, which will help keep your anxiety from taking over.
3. 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique: Bring Your Focus Back
When anxiety feels overwhelming and you're lost in your thoughts, the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique is a quick way to pull yourself out of your mind and into the present. This technique uses your senses to ground you, shifting your focus away from anxious thoughts and back to the here and now.
How to Use 5-4-3-2-1:
5: Look around and name 5 things you can see.
4: Notice 4 things you can touch (your clothes, the chair, your phone, etc.).
3: Listen for 3 sounds around you.
2: Identify 2 things you can smell.
1: Find 1 thing you can taste (even just the lingering taste of your last meal).
Example for Fearful Flyers:
Mid-flight, you start to feel panicked. Use the 5-4-3-2-1 technique to ground yourself: look around the cabin, feel the seatbelt, listen to the engines humming, notice the scent of your travel pillow, and focus on the taste of the drink you just had. By engaging your senses, you redirect your focus from the fear to the present.
Example for Intrusive Thoughts:
When intrusive thoughts begin to overwhelm you, use 5-4-3-2-1 to break the loop. Find 5 things you can see in the room, touch the chair you’re sitting on, notice the sound of your breath, identify the scent of the space you’re in, and focus on any taste you can notice. By actively engaging your senses, you shift your focus away from the intrusive thoughts and into the present.
Final Thoughts:
When anxiety hits, it can feel like everything is out of control. But by using these emotion regulation skills—TIPP to quickly regulate intense emotions, Dropping Anchor to stay grounded in the moment, and 5-4-3-2-1 to refocus your attention—you can regain control over your mind and body, no matter the situation.
P.S. We gave some helpful tips on flight anxiety in this blog. If you are looking for more specific strategies to manage flight anxiety, Click here and I’ll send you our free Flight Anxiety Toolkit right to your inbox.
Ready to work with an anxiety therapist?
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How Mindfulness Can Help You Manage Flight Anxiety
You know how it goes: you’re about to book a trip or about to board your plane, and anxiety is in full force. It becomes hard to focus on the present moment because your mind is consumed by that pit in your stomach or the scary story playing in your head.
Or you're on the plane and on the edge of your seat hyper aware of every sound and movement around you.
You can’t seem to focus on anything else in front of you when the noise of anxiety is just. so. loud.
This is where mindfulness can really help.
What is Mindfulness?
Mindfulness involves being fully present and aware of your current experience—whether it’s your thoughts, sensations, or surroundings—without judgment. It’s about acknowledging your experience as it is, without labeling it as good or bad.
For example, instead of thinking, “Oh no, here comes anxiety again, I hate this,” you would say, “Here’s anxiety” or “Here are some scary thoughts.” This non-judgmental observation helps to reduce the power that these thoughts and feelings have over you.
Mindfulness vs. Meditation
Many people confuse mindfulness with meditation. Meditation can be seen as a formal practice with the goal of becoming more mindful. But mindfulness does not have to be done formally. You can also practice mindfulness in your daily activities such as when walking, doing the dishes, eating, etc.
How Mindfulness Helps with Flight Anxiety
Mindfulness helps you manage anxious thoughts and feelings by allowing you to observe them without being swept away by them. It doesn’t eliminate anxiety, but it helps you handle it more effectively when it shows up. By practicing mindfulness, you can return to the present moment instead of being caught in an anxious spiral.
For instance, if you’re sitting on the plane and start to feel that familiar rush of fear, mindfulness can help you notice these sensations and thoughts without letting them take over. You might observe your heart racing, your palms sweating, and think, “I notice my heart is beating fast” or “I’m having the thought that something bad might happen,” instead of getting caught up in the fear.
Making Mindfulness a Practice
It’s important to remember that mindfulness isn’t a one-time fix. It’s a practice that you need to cultivate over time. Think of it like learning to play an instrument or training for a marathon. The more you practice, the better you become at it.
Don’t expect to practice mindfulness once or twice before a flight and have no anxiety on your flight. Give yourself plenty of time to understand and benefit from this skill. Regular practice will help you build resilience against anxiety and make it easier to stay grounded during your flight. I recommend daily practice for at least two weeks before your flight for the most benefit.
Practical Tips for Practicing Mindfulness
Start Small: Begin with just a few minutes of mindfulness each day. Focus on your breath, notice the sensations in your body, and observe your thoughts without judgment.
Use Mindfulness Apps: There are many apps available that offer guided mindfulness exercises. These can be especially helpful for beginners.
Present Moment Awareness: Focus on the here and now. Pay attention to the sounds around you, the feeling of your feet on the ground, or the sensation of your breath entering and leaving your body. When you notice other thoughts, sounds, or sensations come up, simply redirect your attention back to the present moment.
Mindfulness Exercises: Engage in mindfulness exercises such as body scans, where you focus on different parts of your body and notice any sensations without judgment.
Daily Integration: Incorporate mindfulness into your daily routine. Practice it while eating, walking, or doing chores. The goal is to make mindfulness a natural part of your life.
Conclusion
Mindfulness is a powerful tool to help manage flight anxiety. By regularly practicing mindfulness, you can learn to observe your anxious thoughts and feelings without being overwhelmed by them. This skill can help you stop losing sleep over anxious thoughts. Doesn’t that sound nice?
If you’re ready to start managing your flight anxiety more effectively, sign up for our free Flight Anxiety Toolkit today. It's filled with 12 practical tips to help you feel more in control and confident during your flights.
If you need more help with flying anxiety, Grab the Free Flight Anxiety Toolkit for my top 12 tips here for more ease on your next flight.
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How to Navigate Anxiety in Everyday Life—No Matter the Situation
Anxiety can be sneaky. One moment, you’re living your life, and the next, your mind is hijacked by worries, doubts, or fears. Sometimes anxiety pops up when you’re about to board a plane, other times when you’re about to give a speech, or maybe when you hear about norovirus making its rounds in your community.
If you’re like many people I work with, your anxiety could revolve around specific fears—whether that’s a fear of flying, a fear of getting sick, or intrusive thoughts that make you question the kind of person you are. No matter the trigger, one thing is clear: anxiety wears many hats. But here’s the good news—it doesn’t have to control your life.
Let’s look at how anxiety shows up, and more importantly, what you can do about it in those difficult moments.
1. Recognize That Thoughts Are Not Facts
Anxiety loves to tell stories, but just because you think something, doesn’t mean it’s true. Your mind might race with worst-case scenarios, but those thoughts are just that—thoughts.
Example for the Anxious Flyer:
As you sit in the airport, waiting for your flight, your mind starts listing everything that could go wrong—turbulence, panic, feeling trapped. These are just possibilities, not realities. Practice saying, "These are just thoughts, not facts," and remind yourself that you're capable of handling discomfort without reacting to every anxious thought. Check out our flight anxiety toolkit for more effective strategies.
Example for Someone with Emetophobia (Fear of Vomiting):
When you hear about a stomach bug going around, your mind immediately jumps to “What if I get sick? What if I can’t stop it?” These thoughts may feel overwhelming, but they don’t predict the future. Remember, your brain is wired to protect you by imagining threats that may never happen.
Example for Those Struggling with Intrusive Thoughts:
You’re going about your day when suddenly, a disturbing thought pops into your mind: “What if I lose control? What if this means something about me?” These intrusive thoughts are not a reflection of your character. Let your actions define your real self, not your thoughts.
2. Allow Yourself to Be Uncomfortable
One of the biggest traps anxiety sets is the promise that you need to feel comfortable and certain to be okay. In reality, the more you try to avoid discomfort, the more anxious you become. True relief comes when you allow yourself to be uncomfortable.
Example for the Anxious Flyer:
Flying can bring a lot of uncertainty—delays, turbulence, confined spaces. Instead of trying to eliminate all discomfort, practice saying, "It’s okay to be uncomfortable right now." You don’t need certainty to feel safe. In fact, you already know this. In many other areas of your life you don’t require as much certainty.
Example for Someone with Emetophobia:
When you hear about an illness, it’s tempting to try and control everything—avoiding people, cleaning excessively, or researching symptoms. Instead, acknowledge that some discomfort is part of life. You can’t control every situation, but you can control how you respond. Practice sitting with that discomfort rather than scrambling to eliminate it.
Example for Those Struggling with Intrusive Thoughts:
Intrusive thoughts often leave you feeling unsettled and desperate for relief. Instead of trying to push the thoughts away, allow yourself to feel uncomfortable. The more you resist, the stronger they become. Practice saying, "I can tolerate this discomfort," and let the thought come and go without fighting it.
3. Focus on What You Can Control
Anxiety thrives when we focus on the things we can’t control. Instead, shift your attention to the aspects of the situation that are within your control. Let go of the rest.
Example for the Anxious Flyer:
While you can’t control turbulence or flight delays, you can control how you prepare for the flight. Bring things that calm you—your favorite podcast, a comforting snack, or a breathing exercise. Focus on these, and let go of trying to predict what might happen on the flight.
Example for Someone with Emetophobia:
You may not be able to control the presence of a stomach bug in your community, but you can control your own hygiene, rest, and stress management. Trying to control every potential risk is impossible, but you can focus on maintaining your own well-being.
Example for Those Struggling with Intrusive Thoughts:
You can’t control the random thoughts that pop into your mind, but you can control your reaction. Instead of engaging with the thought, remind yourself, "I don’t need to respond to every thought." You can choose to focus on something else—whether that’s an activity or a calming mantra like, "I can handle anything that comes my way."
4. Direct Your Attention Where It Serves You
Imagine your attention is like a flashlight—you control where to point it. When anxiety takes over, it’s as if the flashlight is focused directly on the fear. You get to choose to zoom out and redirect it.
Example for the Anxious Flyer:
When turbulence hits, your mind might fixate on the uncomfortable sensation and the “what ifs” that come with it. Instead of letting the flashlight focus on those fears, shift it to something within your control—maybe a breathing technique or visualizing your destination. Remind yourself, "I’m choosing where to point my attention."
Example for Someone with Emetophobia:
Anxiety might urge you to constantly check your body or your children for signs of illness. Instead of zooming in on every sensation, choose to focus your flashlight elsewhere. Maybe it’s a book you’re reading or a hobby you enjoy. The more you direct your attention, the less power anxiety has.
Example for Those Struggling with Intrusive Thoughts:
When an intrusive thought pops up, it’s easy to get stuck on it, replaying it over and over. But you have the power to redirect your focus. Picture yourself turning down the volume on the thought and shifting your focus to something neutral or calming. Your thoughts don’t have to control your attention.
Anxiety can feel overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to dictate your life. By recognizing that your thoughts are not facts, allowing discomfort, focusing on what you can control, and redirecting your attention, you can start to break the cycle of anxiety.
Want more specific tips on overcoming a fear of flying? Click here to grab free flight anxiety toolkit to get started.
Ready to work with an anxiety therapist?
State of Mind Therapy in Bloomington can help. Click the button below to sign-up for your free 15 minute phone consultation today.
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Overcoming Flight Anxiety When Claustrophobia Takes Control
You've booked your dream vacation, the destination is perfect, and the itinerary is exciting. But then, reality hits you—the thought of getting on that plane sends a rush of fear through your body.
The idea of being trapped, the doors shutting, and not being able to get out makes you feel like canceling the whole trip.
If this sounds familiar, you're not alone. Many people struggle with flight anxiety related to claustrophobia. But the good news is, there are ways to manage this fear and take back control.
Understanding Claustrophobia in the Context of Flying
It’s often misunderstood that fearful flyers are worried about the plane crashing. But there are many other reasons people fear flying.
One reason is claustrophobia, or the fear of being trapped in small spaces. For some, the fear rushes in the moment the doors close and there's no way out.
Others fear being held on the tarmac for hours. The thought of being confined without control over their environment can lead to an overwhelming sense of panic. Or maybe you worry about losing control of yourself and doing something embarrassing on the flight.
If you are looking for support while flying with Claustrophobia, it’s important to know that there are “in the moment” tips for flying and longer-term strategies that can help you become less fearful in small spaces (like flying). This blog will cover examples of both.
Mental Preparation
1. Reframe Your Thoughts: Stop telling yourself that you are stuck on this plane or trapped. Remember, you are CHOOSING to go on this flight. When the plane doors close, think of it as the step to getting where you need to go, not confinement.
2. Bust the Illusion of Control: In many areas of life, we accept things outside our control without much thought. Accepting that you don’t have to control everything can reduce the pressure you put on yourself and help manage your anxiety.
In-Flight Tips
1. Book an Aisle Seat: Having an aisle seat can provide a sense of space and control, making it easier to move around and lessening the feeling of being trapped.
2. Shift Your Perception of Space: Notice the space you do have on the plane. Notice the openness of the aisle, the space around your seat, and the environment outside the window. On a plane, you are free to move around….unlike in a car.
3. Controlled Breathing: Practice deep breathing exercises to calm your nervous system. Inhale slowly through your nose, hold for a few seconds, and exhale through your mouth.
Face Your Fear of Claustrophobia with Exposure
The most effective way to overcome your fear in the long run is to face your fears in small steps over and over again.
When you repeatedly practice facing your fear, your brain starts to "get used to it" and stops firing off the danger alarm. It will start to recognize flying as low risk and stop trying to warn you of danger.
One of the challenges with exposure and flight anxiety is that many people don't fly frequently enough, so that can make it more challenging to practice.
And it doesn't help that flying is expensive, which can keep people from practicing frequently. However, there are ways around this, and working with a professional can help design exposure exercises that can be done even without buying a plane ticket.
Sample Exposures for Fear of Feeling Trapped
Spend time in small, enclosed spaces like a bathroom stall or elevator.
Sit in the back seat of a car for a short drive.
Practice closing the door and staying in a room for a set period.
Take short flights, gradually increasing the duration.
These are just a few examples of exposures. A therapist trained in exposure therapy will help create a personalized exposure menu that targets the right activities and guides the pace for the best results.
Conclusion
Flight anxiety related to claustrophobia can feel overwhelming, but with the right strategies and support, you can manage it effectively. Remember, you're not alone and you don’t have to figure this out on your own. Therapists trained in CBT and exposure therapy can provide personalized guidance to help you overcome your fear.
Need More Support With Your Fear of Flying?
If you need more help with flying anxiety, Grab the Free Flight Anxiety Toolkit for my top 12 tips here for more ease on your next flight.
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Using Affirmations to Help with Flight Anxiety
If the thought of sitting in a plane makes you hyperventilate, it can leave you feeling defeated and overwhelmed. Many people grapple with the intense anxiety around flying despite their passion for travel.
Flight anxiety can be manageable with the right tools in place. Affirmations can be a powerful tool to help manage and reduce flight anxiety, allowing you to shift your mindset from hating flying to finding it enjoyable.
What Are Affirmations?
Affirmations are positive statements that you repeat to yourself to challenge and overcome negative thoughts. They help reframe your mindset and instill a sense of calm and confidence. Think of affirmations as mental conditioning – just like you would train your body, you can train your mind to respond differently to anxiety triggers.
How Affirmations Help with Flight Anxiety
Flight anxiety often involves focusing on worst-case scenarios and negative thoughts. This amplifies your fear and makes it feel uncontrollable. Affirmations help by redirecting your focus from these negative thoughts to positive, reassuring statements. Here’s how they work:
Shift Your Focus: Affirmations help shift your focus from fear-based thoughts to more positive and empowering ones.
Rewire Your Brain: By repeating affirmations, you start to rewire your brain to think more positively and calmly about flying.
Build Confidence: Affirmations can boost your confidence by reinforcing the belief that you can handle the flight and any anxiety that comes with it.
Reduce Anxiety: Consistent use of affirmations can reduce overall anxiety levels by creating a more positive mindset.
How to Implement Affirmations
Using affirmations effectively involves a few simple steps:
Choose Your Affirmations: Select affirmations that resonate with you and address your specific fears about flying. These should be positive, present-tense statements.
Repeat Regularly: Consistency is key. Repeat your affirmations daily, especially in the weeks leading up to your flight. Say them out loud, write them down, or even record yourself saying them and listen to the recording.
Visualize: As you say your affirmations, visualize yourself feeling calm and confident on the flight. This helps reinforce the positive message.
Use During the Flight: Have your affirmations handy during the flight. Repeat them to yourself if you start to feel anxious.
Sample Affirmations for Flight Anxiety
Here are a few examples of affirmations you can use:
"I am calm and relaxed during my flight."
"Flying is safe, and I trust the process."
"I am in control of my thoughts and emotions."
"I can handle any turbulence with ease."
"I am excited about my journey and the destination."
Want to start using affirmations to conquer your flight anxiety? I’ve created a list of 20 ready-to-use affirmations specifically designed to help with flight anxiety. These affirmations can be your go-to tool to calm your nerves and build confidence before and during your flight.
Download the Flight Anxiety Affirmation Guide
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Conquering Anticipation Anxiety for Fearful Flyers
You decide you are going to book that vacation. You start to research flights and notice your stomach churn.
You can barely hit the "book now" button because the idea of getting on that plane makes this all feel like too much.
The weeks, days, and even hours leading up to a flight can be filled with dread and worry. This is what we call anticipation anxiety – it’s the mental anguish you experience before you do something you’re anxious or nervous about. It's a common struggle for many who fear flying.
Understanding Anticipation Anxiety
So, what triggers this anxiety? For many fearful flyers, the mere thought of getting on a plane can set it off. You might find yourself tangled up in knots, constantly imagining worst-case scenarios, feeling your heart race, and experiencing sleepless nights. It's like watching a horror movie in your head, where you are the star in a catastrophic event.
If you’re not sure what triggers your anxiety, try keeping a log for one week of when you feel anxious. Notice the symptoms of worry you experience before a flight. If you find yourself thinking "what if" and feeling a whirlwind inside your mind, take note. This can help you identify patterns and specific situations that trigger your anticipation anxiety.
The Science Behind Anticipation Anxiety
Ever wondered why some people are more prone to this type of anxiety? It's not just in your head; there are neurological factors at play. When you experience anxiety, your fight, flight, freeze system is activated. This is your survival system (and no, you can’t get rid of it….and you wouldn’t want to!).
When your brain perceives that something is a threat or dangerous – like flying – it sends signals to give you extra energy to run or fight. If you have a pattern of feeling anxious about flying, your brain has learned to go into fight, flight, or freeze mode even at the smallest reminder of flying.
But here's the thing: anticipation anxiety isn't a disorder on its own. It's a thinking pattern that often accompanies various anxiety disorders. Most people will say that the anticipation was worse than the actual flight.
Why?
Because when you're anticipating the worst-case scenario, you're devoting endless time and energy to imagining a catastrophic situation. But when you're actually on the flight, you're busy dealing with the real situation, leaving less room for those scary thoughts.
Can Anticipation Anxiety Be Treated?
Absolutely! There's hope, and evidence-based treatments like Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) can work wonders.
ERP Therapy: Helps you face your fears step by step. Overtime, you learn that the scary story in your mind doesn’t usually happen. This help you to start seeing these thoughts and unimportant and untrue.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT): Teaches you to create distance from anxious thoughts and commit to what’s important, like traveling to visit loved ones or creating new memories.
CBT: Helps you examine the accuracy of your thoughts and find a more realistic and helpful way of viewing the situation. For instance, if you’re worried about a plane crash, CBT encourages you to consider the evidence and think about how many flights land safely every day.
How Can I Manage Anticipation Anxiety?
Managing anticipation anxiety effectively involves several strategies:
Mindfulness: This is like a mental workout that helps you pull yourself back to the present moment when your mind starts spiraling into worst-case scenarios.
Relaxation Techniques: These can ease the physical sensations of anxiety, like muscle tension and a rapid heartbeat.
Cognitive Restructuring: Challenge catastrophic thoughts and see situations more realistically.
Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. Acknowledge that these thoughts and feelings are tough but remember that you’re not alone and can handle this.
Acknowledging the Scary Story: Recognize that your mind is playing a horror movie, and these thoughts are just stories, not reality.
Setting Realistic Goals and Expectations
It's essential to set realistic goals in your journey to overcome anticipation anxiety. Even with effective strategies, you might still feel anxious at times, and that's okay. It takes consistent effort and practice to learn new skills and habits.
So, as long as you keep practicing, you will make progress. The key is not to beat yourself up about it. Instead, acknowledge your anxiety and remind yourself that it's natural. With the right tools, you can handle it.
Conclusion
Here’s the good news: anticipation anxiety is treatable. If you find yourself struggling, don’t hesitate to seek help. Therapists trained in CBT, ACT, and ERP, like those at State of Mind Therapy, can guide you through this journey.
Need More Support With Your Fear of Flying?
If you need more help with flying anxiety, Grab the Free Flight Anxiety Toolkit for my top 12 tips here for more ease on your next flight.
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A Simple Grounding Exercise to Help You Stay Present in the Moment
Are you constantly worrying about the future? Do you find yourself caught up in anxious thoughts that make it hard to focus on the here and now? You’re not alone. One effective way to manage these feelings is through grounding exercises. These exercises help anchor you to the present moment, reducing anxiety and helping you feel more in control. Today, I’ll guide you through a simple grounding exercise that you can use anytime you need to bring yourself back to the present.
The 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Exercise
This grounding exercise uses your five senses to help you stay grounded. The next time you feel overwhelmed by anxious thoughts, try using the following formula:
5 - LOOK
Look around for five things that you can see, and say them out loud. For example:
"I see the computer."
"I see the cup."
"I see the picture frame."
4 - FEEL
Pay attention to your body and think of four things that you can feel, and say them out loud. For example:
"I feel my feet warm in my socks."
"I feel the hair on the back of my neck."
"I feel the pillow I am laying on."
3 - LISTEN
Listen for three sounds. It could be the sound of traffic outside, the sound of typing, or the sound of your tummy rumbling. Say the three things out loud. For example:
"I hear the birds chirping."
"I hear the hum of the air conditioner."
"I hear the clicking of the keyboard."
2 - SMELL
Say two things you can smell. If you’re able to, it’s okay to move to another spot and sniff something. If you can’t smell anything at the moment or you can’t move, then name your two favorite smells. For example:
"I smell the fresh coffee."
"I smell the scent of my lotion."
1 - TASTE
Say one thing you can taste. It may be the toothpaste from brushing your teeth, or a mint from after lunch. If you can’t taste anything, then say your favorite thing to taste. For example:
"I taste the minty flavor from my toothpaste."
"I taste the chocolate I had earlier."
Why Exercise Works for anxiety
Grounding exercises like this one are effective because they help shift your focus from your anxious thoughts to your physical surroundings. It gets you out of your head and into the present. By engaging your senses, you can break the cycle of worry and bring your attention back to the present moment. This not only helps reduce anxiety but also helps you feel more in control and less overwhelmed.
Conclusion
Incorporating grounding exercises into your daily routine can be a simple yet powerful way to manage anxiety and stay present. The 5-4-3-2-1 grounding exercise is easy to remember and can be done anywhere, anytime. Try it the next time you find yourself worrying about the future or caught up in anxious thoughts.
Remember, the goal is to stay connected to the present moment. Practice this exercise regularly, and you’ll find it easier to keep your worries at bay and focus on the here and now.
P.S. Don’t forget to download our 5 Steps to Live More, Worry Less for more helpful tips on handling anxiety. This guide is designed to help you take control of your anxiety and live a more fulfilling life.
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Conquering Your Fear of Flying with Exposure Therapy
If you have a fear of a plane crashing or the terrifying feeling of being trapped on a plane, flight anxiety can be overwhelming. But I'm here to tell you that there's hope.
Have you ever heard of exposure therapy? It’s a specific form of therapy to help you overcome a fear.
As a mental health therapist specializing in treating fear of flying using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and exposure therapy, I've seen firsthand how effective these treatments can be in helping people like you conquer their fears.
Why Exposure Therapy Works
Exposure therapy is a powerful method for treating phobias because it helps you gradually confront your fears in bite sized pieces. Instead of avoiding the things that make you anxious, exposure therapy encourages you to face them head-on. By doing so, you can desensitize yourself to the fear and reduce the anxiety over time.
When you consistently practice facing your fear, your brain begins to acclimate and stops triggering the alarm response. It starts to recognize flying as a low-risk activity and no longer perceives it as a threat.
However, one of the challenges with exposure therapy for flight anxiety is that many people don't fly often enough to retrain their brain effectively. Additionally, the high cost of flying can make it difficult to practice regularly.
Fortunately, there are alternative methods to address this issue. Working with a professional can help you design exposure exercises that simulate the flying experience, allowing you to practice and build resilience without the need to purchase a plane ticket.
Benefits of Exposure Therapy
Desensitization: Gradual exposure helps reduce the intensity of your fear.
Increased Confidence: Facing your fears head-on builds confidence and resilience.
Long-term Relief: Unlike quick fixes, exposure therapy offers long-lasting results.
Personal Empowerment: You take control of your fear, rather than letting it control you.
Sample Exposure Plan for Fear of Plane Crashing
How would exposure look in real life? Lets say you have a fear of the plane crashing so you avoid flying altogether, missing out on family vacations and work opportunities. Here's how a sample exposure plan might look:
Watch Videos: Start by watching videos of planes taking off and landing to become familiar with the process.
Visit the Airport: Spend time at the airport to get used to the environment without the pressure of flying.
Sit in a Stationary Plane: Take a tour of a plane on the ground to become comfortable with the interior.
Talk to Pilots: Have a conversation with pilots about how they handle various flying conditions.
Short Flights: Begin with short, local flights to gradually build confidence.
Sample Exposure Plan for Fear of Feeling Trapped
Now, let’s talk about how exposure therapy might work for someone who doesn’t fear the plane crashing, but fears they will be trapped on a plane and unable to escape.
Here’s a sample exposure plan for fear of feeling trapped:
Crowded Spaces: Start by spending time in crowded places like a city bus or concert to get used to being around many people.
Other places to practice: Car wash, public restroom, closet, etc.
Stationary Plane: Sit in a stationary plane to get comfortable with the interior environment.
Short Flights: Take short, local flights to practice staying calm while in the air.
Overcoming the Challenges
One of the main challenges with exposure therapy for flight anxiety is the infrequency of flying. It's hard to retrain the brain when you don't fly often enough. Plus, the cost of flying can make it difficult to practice regularly. This is where working with a professional becomes crucial. Together, we can design exposure exercises that simulate the flying experience and help you practice facing your fears even without getting on a plane.
Personalized Exposure Plans
The examples above are just a starting point. A therapist trained in exposure therapy will help create a personalized exposure menu designed to target the right activities and guide the pace for the best results. This tailored approach ensures that your exposure exercises are both effective and manageable, helping you to gradually build confidence and reduce anxiety.
Conclusion
Exposure therapy can lead to significant and lasting relief from flight anxiety. By facing your fears gradually and with the right support, you can reclaim your freedom and confidence when it comes to flying.
If you’re ready to start this journey and would like more personalized guidance, consider reaching out for a consultation. Together, we can create a plan that works for you and helps you take back control from your fear of flying.
Need More Support With Your Fear of Flying?
If you need more help with flying anxiety, Grab the Free Flight Anxiety Toolkit for my top 12 tips here for more ease on your next flight.
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Dropping Anchor: A Helpful Tool for Handling Anxiety, Panic, and Other Big Feelings
When anxiety, panic, or other overwhelming emotions hit, it can be challenging to stay grounded. Whether it's anxiety, anger, shame, or any other intense feeling, these emotions can take over, making it hard to act effectively.
That’s where "Dropping Anchor," a tool from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), comes in handy.
This three-part exercise is designed to help you gain more control over your actions, reducing the impact or power of these big feelings. The goal isn’t to eliminate difficult thoughts or emotions but to help you manage them more effectively. Here’s how you can use the ACE method—Acknowledge, Connect, and Engage—to drop anchor and stay grounded.
ACE: Acknowledge, Connect, Engage
Acknowledge Your Thoughts and Feelings
Start by acknowledging your thoughts and feelings with curiosity and without judgment. This means noticing them in a matter-of-fact way, such as saying, “Here is worry,” or “I’m noticing a racing heart.” You can also be more general, like “Here are difficult thoughts/feelings” or “I’m noticing pain.”
This step is crucial because it helps you accept your experience without trying to distract yourself or avoid it. By naming your experience, you actively accept it and create some distance from it.
Connect with Your Body
Next, reconnect with your body through small movements. Try a gentle stretch, wiggle your toes and fingers, take a short walk, or shift in your chair. The key is to stay connected with your body while continuing to acknowledge your thoughts and feelings. This ensures that the exercise doesn’t turn into a distraction technique.
Engage in the World Around You
Finally, refocus and engage with an activity. This step helps you take effective action even when you’re experiencing difficult thoughts or feelings. Actively notice your environment by naming something you can see, hear, smell, touch, or taste.
Then, decide where to put your attention next to make the most of your situation. This could mean returning to work, taking the dog for a walk, or playing a game with your kids. The aim is to shift your focus to the present moment and engage fully with what you are doing.
Dropping Anchor Audio Recording
Practicing a new skill can be more effective when guided by audio rather than reading instructions. That’s why I’ve created an audio recording to help you practice dropping anchor.
Listening to this recording can make the process feel more natural and eventually, you’ll be able to perform the exercise on your own without needing the recording.
Get Access to the Dropping Anchor Audio Recording here.
Conclusion
Dropping anchor is a powerful tool for managing anxiety, panic, and other intense emotions. By using the ACE method—Acknowledge, Connect, and Engage—you can stay grounded and take effective action despite challenging thoughts and feelings. With practice, this skill will become second nature, helping you navigate life's storms with greater ease and resilience.
P.S. Don’t forget to download our 5 Steps to Live More, Worry Less for more helpful tips on handling anxiety. This guide is designed to help you take control of your anxiety and live a more fulfilling life.
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Managing Flight Anxiety with CBT: Identifying Worst-Case, Best-Case, and Most Likely Scenarios
Flight anxiety can be overwhelming, often leading to a cascade of "what if" thoughts that can make the experience of flying feel insurmountable. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) offers practical strategies to help manage these anxious thoughts. One effective technique is identifying the worst-case, best-case, and most likely scenarios. This approach can help you gain perspective and reduce anxiety by challenging irrational fears.
Understanding the Technique
CBT is a therapeutic approach that focuses on changing unhelpful thinking patterns and behaviors. By identifying and challenging negative thoughts, you can develop healthier, more realistic ways of thinking. The worst-case, best-case, and most likely scenario technique is a straightforward but powerful tool within CBT that helps you balance your thinking and manage anxiety.
Step-by-Step Guide to Using This CBT Technique
1. Identify the Worst-Case Scenario
When you're feeling anxious about flying, your mind might automatically jump to the worst possible outcome. This is a natural response, but it's often exaggerated and not based on reality.
Example: "What if the plane crashes and I die?"
While this thought is terrifying, it's essential to acknowledge it and then move on to the next step.
2. Identify the Best-Case Scenario
Next, consider the best possible outcome. This helps balance out the negativity by acknowledging that positive outcomes are also possible.
Example: "What if the flight is smooth, and I arrive safely at my destination feeling calm and happy?"
This positive scenario is just as likely as the worst-case scenario and helps create a balanced view.
3. Identify the Most Likely Scenario
Finally, identify the most realistic and likely outcome. This step grounds you in reality and helps you see the situation more clearly.
Example: "The flight will probably be uneventful. There might be some turbulence, but the plane is designed to handle it, and I will arrive safely."
By focusing on the most likely scenario, you can reduce your anxiety by reminding yourself of the realistic outcome.
Applying the Technique in Real Life
Step 1: Write It Down
Start by writing down your worst-case, best-case, and most likely scenarios. Seeing your thoughts on paper can help you process them more effectively.
Step 2: Challenge Irrational Thoughts
Look at the worst-case scenario and challenge its validity. What evidence do you have that this will happen? Often, you'll find that your fears are based on irrational thoughts rather than facts.
Step 3: Reframe Your Thinking
Use the best-case and most likely scenarios to reframe your thinking. Remind yourself that while anything is possible, the most probable outcome is usually far less dramatic than your worst fears.
Step 4: Practice Regularly
Like any skill, this technique requires practice. The more you use it, the more natural it will become. Over time, you'll find that your anxiety decreases as you develop a more balanced way of thinking.
Conclusion
Managing flight anxiety is a journey, but with tools like the worst-case, best-case, and most likely scenario technique from CBT, you can take significant steps towards overcoming your fears. By challenging your irrational thoughts and grounding yourself in reality, you can transform your anxious moments into opportunities for growth and resilience.
If you found this technique helpful and want more strategies to manage your flight anxiety, consider downloading our Free Flight Anxiety Toolkit. It’s packed with practical tips and resources to help you fly with confidence.
Need More Support With Your Fear of Flying?
If you need more help with flying anxiety, Grab the Free Flight Anxiety Toolkit for my top 12 tips here for more ease on your next flight.
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How Gratitude Can Help Alleviate Anxiety
When you are anxious, your mind is usually consumed with fearful thoughts, bad outcomes of future events, or thoughts that just won't stop.
This constant worry can be exhausting and debilitating.
But there’s a simple yet powerful tool you can use to interrupt this pattern: gratitude.
Why Gratitude Helps with Anxiety
It may sound too simplistic, but trust me on this. Research has shown that practicing gratitude can have profound effects on your mood, sleep, and even your longevity.
When you are anxious, try to interrupt your thought pattern with gratitude. This will move your thoughts from fearful, anxious, and negative to feelings of appreciation and love.
The Science Behind Gratitude
Studies have found that gratitude can reduce symptoms of anxiety by:
Shifting focus from negative to positive thoughts
Enhancing feelings of well-being
Improving sleep quality
Increasing resilience to stress
How to Practice Gratitude
There are many ways to practice gratitude, and there is no wrong way to do it. The most important thing is to start and do it consistently. Even if that means having to repeat it 30 times a day.
Here are some tips on how to incorporate gratitude into your daily routine:
1. Be Specific
When practicing gratitude, be specific. Don’t just say you are grateful for your family. Go into detail.
Why are you grateful for your family?
Who is one person in your family you are particularly grateful for today?
How has this person impacted your life or day?
What would you say to them if you could?
The more detailed you get, the better this exercise works.
2. Keep a Gratitude Journal
Write down three things you are grateful for each day. This can be done in the morning to start your day on a positive note, or at night to reflect on the good things that happened during the day.
3. Think About Someone You Are Grateful For
Spend a few moments thinking about someone who has made a positive impact on your life. Reflect on why you are grateful for them and how they have helped you.
4. Write and Send a Letter of Gratitude
Writing a letter to someone you are grateful for can be a powerful way to express your appreciation. If possible, send the letter to them.
This not only helps you feel good but also strengthens your relationship with that person.
5. Count Your Blessings
Sit quietly and mentally list everything you are grateful for. See how many things you can come up with. This exercise can help shift your focus from what is going wrong to what is going right.
6. Write a Thank You Note
Writing thank you notes is a simple but effective way to practice gratitude. Whether it’s for a small favor or a big gesture, expressing your thanks can boost your mood and foster positive feelings.
7. Incorporate Gratitude in Prayer
If you are religious, incorporate gratitude into your prayers. Thank your higher power for the blessings in your life.
Make Gratitude a Habit
The key to reaping the benefits of gratitude is consistency. Try to make gratitude a daily habit. Here are a few suggestions on when to practice gratitude:
Before bedtime
At meals
First thing in the morning
Gratitude is a powerful tool that can help alleviate anxiety and improve your overall well-being. By shifting your focus from negative to positive thoughts, you can break the cycle of anxiety and foster feelings of appreciation and love. Start incorporating gratitude into your daily routine and see how it transforms your life.
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Understanding Reassurance Seeking and How It Fuels Anxiety
Living with anxiety or OCD can be incredibly challenging, especially when intrusive thoughts and constant worries take over your mind.
One common coping mechanism people turn to is reassurance seeking. While it may provide temporary relief, it often fuels anxiety in the long run.
In this blog post, we’ll explore what reassurance seeking is, why it’s problematic for anxiety and OCD recovery, and the different types of reassurance seeking.
What is Reassurance Seeking?
Reassurance seeking involves looking for confirmation or validation from others to alleviate anxiety or uncertainty. This can include repeatedly asking for assurances about health, safety, relationships, or morality.
While seeking reassurance might provide a brief sense of relief, it can quickly become a compulsive behavior that perpetuates anxiety.
Why is Reassurance Seeking Problematic?
Reassurance seeking is problematic because it reinforces the idea that the intrusive thoughts or worries are legitimate threats that need to be addressed. This can prevent you from learning to tolerate uncertainty and develop healthy coping mechanisms. Over time, reassurance seeking can become a crutch, making it harder to manage anxiety or OCD independently.
Types of reassurance traps
1. Do No Harm
This type of reassurance seeking involves looking for certainty that you are not a bad person. Intrusive harming thoughts can have violent, sexual, or embarrassing content.
For instance, you might find yourself always being careful to avoid accidental harm to yourself or others. Or you may have an overwhelming fear of offending God, leading you to constantly try to prove to yourself that you are in good grace.
2. Guarantees Forever
This type of reassurance seeking is about finding certainty that everything will be okay.
This could mean constantly seeking reassurance to prove you don’t have a serious illness by checking your pulse or temperature without any medical advice.
It could also involve needing to know if you are going to get fired by studying others' reactions and excessively asking colleagues if they think you are not performing well.
Additionally, it can mean needing to confirm your partner’s faithfulness by scanning their face, checking their phone and emails, and becoming upset if a text is not answered right away.
3. Banish All Doubts
This type of reassurance seeking involves trying to find answers to questions that are unanswerable. These might include questions like, “How can I be sure I’m really here on earth?”
Reassurance seeking can involve frequently asking friends or family to confirm your identity or reality, or seeking validation from online forums about your sexual orientation or mental health.
4. Don’t Mess Up
This type of reassurance seeking is driven by the fear of messing up, especially at work.
This can lead to endless checking of emails or working excessively to avoid imperfections. It can also involve doing extensive research and planning for a simple purchase to ensure you make the perfect decision.
Reassurance seeking can look like spending hours drafting and redrafting a simple email to avoid any potential errors or researching for days before making a minor purchase decision.
How State of Mind Therapy Can Help with Reassurance Seeking
If you struggle with anxiety and reassurance seeking, know that you are not alone. At State of Mind Therapy, we specialize in helping individuals break free from the cycle of anxiety and find peace.
Our experienced therapists use evidence-based strategies to address the root causes of your anxiety and develop healthier coping mechanisms.
Ready to get started? Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation with one of our therapists today to take the first step towards a calmer, more confident you.
5 Essential Tips to Effectively Sit with Anxiety and Find Relief
It sounds so simple, right? As you start to learn about the strategies that help and don’t help with anxiety, you’ve likely come to realize that running from discomfort only makes matters worse.
So, everything you have been learning tells you not to avoid, distract, or engage in compulsions but to “sit with anxiety” instead.
I understand this isn’t easy. If it was, you wouldn’t be avoiding in the first place.
Why Sitting with Anxiety is Important
Avoidance might seem like a quick fix, but it reinforces the idea that anxiety is something to fear. By learning to sit with anxiety, you can change your relationship with it and reduce its power over you.
I find that there are essential skills I need to help my clients learn in order to effectively “sit with” anxiety. Here are my tips on how to do just that.
5 Tips on How to Sit with Anxiety
1. Be Curious About What Your Body is Doing
Close your eyes to really allow yourself to be present with your mind and body. Do a scan of your body and notice where you are experiencing sensations.
Just name the sensation you notice in a matter-of-fact way. For example: “I notice chest tightness” or “here’s nausea.” Draw an imaginary circle around that area.
2. Acknowledge the Sensation for What It Is
When we feel anxiety in our bodies, we can begin to interpret these sensations as real danger.
If you find your mind doing this, remind yourself, “this is just a sensation” or “here is discomfort.”
3. Be Curious About What Your Mind is Doing
Close your eyes once again and notice what your mind does. Is it giving demanding threats?
Is it spinning with a bunch of random thoughts? Is it desperately trying to focus on something else?
You don’t have to do anything here, just sit back as if you were sitting in the chair of a theater and watching a show.
4. Be Gentle
Sitting with anxiety isn’t easy. You need to give yourself relentless grace and encouragement for doing something difficult. No judgment allowed here.
Tell yourself, “this isn’t easy” or “I can do hard things.”
Beating yourself up for having anxiety is not helpful in moving you forward, so commit to being kinder to yourself.
If a close friend began to panic, would you say, “what’s wrong with you?” Probably not. So don’t tell yourself that either. Treat yourself like you would treat a friend.
5. Remove Temptation
If you are working on sitting with anxiety without avoidance or compulsions, you may want to modify your environment to make it more challenging to access those.
For instance, if you are working on reducing handwashing, remove extra soap or hand wipes. If you are working on not checking the rearview mirror, flip it up or cover it. If you seek excessive reassurance (online or with loved ones), leave your phone/computer and go for a walk so you can’t research the internet.
Practice, Practice, Practice
If you are working on relating to anxiety differently, then these skills are crucial to your success. If you are doing exposure therapy, you are moving towards situations that make you uncomfortable all the time.
If you are struggling to sit with anxiety, you will likely abandon the exposure exercise quickly and end up avoiding the situation (or doing a compulsion).
I recommend practicing these skills regularly before doing exposures. If you only practice these skills during times of high anxiety, it may be more challenging to sit with the uncomfortable feelings.
Taking the Next Step
Sitting with anxiety is a vital skill in managing and overcoming it. By being curious, gentle, and persistent, you can change your relationship with anxiety and lead a more fulfilling life.
If you need help applying these skills, consider starting therapy for anxiety or OCD. Our therapists are trained in using the most effective strategies for treating anxiety disorders and OCD.
Schedule a free 15 minute phone consultation with one of our therapists today to get started.
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Should You Use Anti-Anxiety Medication for Flying? Here's My Take
Many people seek out a prescription for anti-anxiety medication to use while traveling or during other high-anxiety times. If you’re considering this option, I want to share my personal (and professional) take on it and give you a few things to consider.
IMPORTANT: Deciding to take medication is a personal decision, and this is by no means professional advice. Always consult your doctor or therapist to determine whether medication is right for you.
Understanding Anti-Anxiety Medication
When I talk about anti-anxiety medication, I’m referring to quick-acting medications like Valium, Xanax, or Klonopin. These are different from other anxiety medications such as Zoloft or Prozac, which are SSRIs and not quick-acting. SSRI’s are a great option for daily anxiety or depression management.
Reasons to Consider NOT Using Quick-Acting Medication
While quick-acting anti-anxiety medication can be helpful, there are important reasons to think twice about relying on them for flying:
1. It Won't Resolve Your Fear
Even if the medication helps you to fly, it’s just a band-aid. It doesn’t address the root of the problem or help you learn that flying is safe and that you can handle discomfort. You may end up relying on the medication every time you fly.
2. You May Find You Need It More and More
Because anti-anxiety medication is effective, you might start turning to it during other anxious times instead of learning other coping skills. For many people, anxiety about flying doesn’t just occur on the day of the flight but also in the days and weeks leading up to it, increasing the likelihood of turning to medication.
3. It May Not Be Helpful in an Actual Emergency
These medications can make you drowsy and sleepy. In the event of an actual emergency, your ability to react quickly could be impaired, or it might be difficult for others to wake you.
4. It May Not Be Safe with Other Medications
If you’re taking other medications, you need to ensure that it’s safe to use anti-anxiety medications concurrently. You don’t want to experience a medical emergency while 30,000 feet in the air.
When Medication Might Make Sense
There are situations where taking anti-anxiety medication for flying might make sense. For example, if you have to fly somewhere and have not yet developed the skills or supports to manage your anxiety in other ways, medication can be a temporary solution to help you get through the flight. In such cases, it’s important to work with your healthcare provider to ensure it’s the best option for you.
If you have been taking medication for flight anxiety or bring it with you “just in case” and wish to fly confidently without it. Then you can create a plan with your provider about decreasing the use of the medication.
What About Other Substances?
Some people turn to cannabis or alcohol instead of medication, but these substances have their own downfalls.
Alcohol
Be cautious with alcohol. It can cause drowsiness, dehydration, and hangovers. You especially don’t want to mix alcohol with anti-anxiety medication. Remember that scene in "Bridesmaids"?
Marijuana or CBD
Marijuana comes in various forms—some make you more stimulated, some sleepy, and some paranoid. If you don’t typically use marijuana, you may not know how it will impact you, potentially increasing your anxiety during the flight.
Conclusion
While quick-acting anti-anxiety medications can be useful in certain situations, they are not a long-term solution for overcoming the fear of flying. They may help you get through a flight, but they don’t address the underlying anxiety. It’s important to consider the potential downsides and explore other coping strategies that can help you manage your fear more effectively.
Remember, it’s about finding what works best for you and making an informed decision. Always consult with a healthcare professional before starting any new medication or substance.
Need More Support With Your Fear of Flying?
If you need more help with flying anxiety, Grab the Free Flight Anxiety Toolkit for my top 12 tips here for more ease on your next flight.
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7 Mistakes I Made During My Anxiety Recovery
Hiding anxiety can worsen the condition. Learn how assuming that pushing through, excessive research, seeking reassurance, and avoiding activities can hinder recovery. Discover how radical acceptance and proper steps can help manage anxiety effectively. Schedule a free 15-minute consultation for personalized support.
Have you ever felt like your anxiety is taking control of your life? The constant worry, the sleepless nights, and the overwhelming fear of reaching out for help can be paralyzing. You might find yourself stuck, unable to move forward, and wondering if you’re the only one feeling this way.
You’re not alone.
Years ago, I struggled with anxiety and panic. Now, on the other side of that struggle, I've realized that some of the things I was doing were actually stalling my progress. I want to share my experiences with you so that you don’t prolong your suffering like I did.
In this blog, you’ll discover the seven biggest mistakes I made while dealing with anxiety and how you can avoid them. By learning from my experiences, you can take steps towards a healthier, more fulfilling life.
1. Hiding My Anxiety from Others
The feeling of anxiety began to dominate my life once it became chronic. I didn’t want anyone to know that I had an anxiety disorder because I had created a narrative in my head about who I was and how I wanted to be seen by others. The fear of being rejected by society and possibly ruining my reputation led me to keep the anxiety my dirty little secret, which ultimately made my anxiety even worse.
2. Assuming That Always “Pushing Through” Anxiety Was the Solution
I believed that pushing through my anxiety would eventually get me out of it. I avoided crucial self-care, thinking that taking time to rest was lazy.
But the truth is, we all need moments to “rest and digest.” Our parasympathetic nervous system needs a break so our nerves can rest.
3. Spending Excessive Time Researching Anxiety
I became obsessed with solving my anxiety problem by consuming every book, blog, YouTube video, and podcast I could find.
However, I learned the hard way that while our minds are excellent at solving external problems, they are terrible at solving their own issues.
4. Engaging in Reassurance Seeking
Reassurance seeking is a classic symptom of anxiety. I often asked my wife for reassurance, which provided short-term relief but never helped in the long run.
Questions like, “Did I damage my nervous system beyond repair?” always returned, even after her reassurances.
Excessive reassurance seeking behavior for every worry can strain relationships and mute anxiety..but only temporarily because it was never enough. Anxiety always wanted more.
5. Framing Anxiety as the Enemy to Conquer
When I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), Social Anxiety, and Panic Disorder, I viewed anxiety as an enemy to conquer.
I visualized myself defeating it, which provided temporary relief, but the anxiety always came back stronger.
6. Engaging in Pseudo-Science Practices
In the beginning, I tried to treat my anxiety with “antidotes” found on the internet.
I fell into the trap of pseudo-science practices like “The Law of Attraction,” believing that meditation alone could cure me.
Let me save you some time—those methods don’t work. What did work? Following research backed methods like ACT, CBT, and ERP.
7. Avoiding Activities Until I Was “Cured”
I avoided people and activities I used to enjoy, thinking I needed to be “cured” first. This only made my life smaller, less joyful, and more anxiety-ridden.
Taking the First Step
I know first hand how hard it can be to live with anxiety, but recovery is possible. If you want help untangling from anxiety, schedule a free 15 minute phone consultation to get started.
Written by Justin Matthews, LGSW
Breaking the Cycle of Reassurance Seeking: A New Approach to Handling Flight Anxiety
When you're dealing with a fear of flying, it's natural to seek out information to calm your fears. Reviewing facts about flying safety might seem like a good way to reassure yourself. However, if you find yourself endlessly searching and learning, you might be stuck in a cycle of reassurance seeking. This approach can actually make your anxiety worse in the long run. Let's explore why this happens and what you can do to break the cycle and handle your flight anxiety more effectively.
The Trap of Reassurance Seeking
Reassurance seeking involves constantly looking for information or asking for validation to reduce anxiety. While this can provide temporary relief, it often leads to more anxiety over time. Here’s why:
Temporary Relief: Finding a reassuring fact or receiving validation might make you feel better momentarily, but the relief is short-lived.
Increased Anxiety: The more you seek reassurance, the more your brain becomes dependent on it. This can increase overall anxiety because you're not addressing the root cause of your fear.
Perpetuating the Cycle: Each time you look up safety facts or seek validation, you reinforce the idea that flying is something to be feared. This keeps you trapped in a cycle of anxiety and reassurance seeking.
Initial Learning vs. Endless Searching
It's important to differentiate between helpful initial learning and unproductive endless searching.
Initial Learning: When you first start addressing your fear of flying, it can be helpful to learn about the basics of flying and safety protocols. This initial knowledge can provide a foundation of understanding and reduce some of the unknowns.
Endless Searching: Once you have a basic understanding, continuing to look up facts and seek reassurance becomes counterproductive. Instead of reducing anxiety, it can increase it by keeping your mind focused on the fear.
A New Approach to Handling Flight Anxiety
To effectively manage flight anxiety, it's essential to change your approach. Here are some strategies to help you break the cycle of reassurance seeking and handle your anxiety more effectively:
Acknowledge Your Anxiety: Recognize that feeling anxious about flying is common and that it's okay to have these feelings. Instead of trying to eliminate anxiety, focus on managing it.
Limit Reassurance Seeking: Set boundaries for yourself regarding how often you look up safety facts or ask for validation. Gradually reduce this behavior to break the cycle.
Practice Mindfulness: Engage in mindfulness exercises to stay present and grounded. This can help reduce the urge to seek reassurance and shift your focus away from anxiety.
Develop Coping Strategies: Learn and practice coping strategies such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or visualization techniques to manage anxiety during flights.
Seek Professional Help: Consider working with a therapist who specializes in anxiety and phobias. They can provide you with tools and techniques to manage your fear of flying more effectively.
Conclusion
While it might seem helpful to constantly review facts about flying safety, this approach can keep you stuck in a cycle of reassurance seeking and increase your anxiety over time. By recognizing this pattern and adopting new strategies to manage your anxiety, you can break free from the cycle and start handling your fear of flying more effectively. Remember, the goal isn't to eliminate anxiety but to learn how to manage it so you can enjoy your travels with greater confidence and peace of mind.
Need More Support With Your Fear of Flying?
If you need more help with flying anxiety, Grab the Free Flight Anxiety Toolkit for my top 12 tips here for more ease on your next flight.
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Overcoming Your Fear of Seeking Help for Your Anxiety
Feeling Overwhelmed by the Fear of Seeking Help?
You might be thinking…..“I know I need to get help, but my fear, anxiety, and ego won’t let me.”
Does this sound familiar? You’ve done your research and identified a few providers who might be a good fit for your mental health concerns. But now, you find yourself staring at your phone, desperate for the conversation to be over before it even begins.
The fear of calling makes it impossible to commit. You visualize yourself freezing up, unable to get the words out, or losing control and sounding foolish.
Perhaps your ego stops you from admitting you need help, screaming, “Don’t be such a pansy! Man up! There are people starving in Africa, and you’re whining about your anxiety?”
You’re Not Alone
I have good news for you: you’re not crazy; you’re human.
Many of us, especially men, are terrified of making that initial phone call to seek help. Our minds excel at manufacturing automatic thoughts such as, “I can’t believe it’s come to this,” or “I used to be so normal, how could this happen to me?”
These thoughts saturate our brains, leading to resistance. Additionally, despite significant progress, mental health stigma still exists, particularly in the U.S., which can further hinder seeking therapy.
My Personal Journey with Overcoming Anxiety to Call a Therapist
In the beginning stages of my anxiety journey, I remember the day I was ready to make an appointment for therapy after trying to “treat” myself for two years.
I had a therapist in mind, but the fear of freezing up and not being able to articulate my issues kept me from making the call.
This fear fueled my anxiety and avoidance for weeks. Finally, I decided enough was enough.
Here’s how I overcame this obstacle:
Making the Call to A Therapist: Steps to Overcome Anxiety and OCD
1. Accept discomfort
Acknowledge Your Fear: Accept that you’re feeling anxious and that it’s okay. Give your anxiety and fear the space they need without judgment.
Commit to the Call: Decide that, regardless of how the conversation goes, you will be okay. This mindset helps reduce the pressure to be perfect.
2. Prepare Yourself
Write Down Key Points: Outline what you want to say to the therapist. This can include your symptoms, how long you’ve been experiencing them, and what you hope to achieve through therapy.
Practice: If you’re nervous, practice saying these points out loud. This can help you feel more confident and less likely to freeze up.
3. Dial the Number
Start the Call: The most challenging part is starting. Once you dial the number, the hardest part is over.
Begin the Conversation: Your fear will likely be most intense before the call, but once you start talking, it will diminish. You may feel anxious, but it will ebb and flow.
4. Stay Calm During the Call
Breathe and Speak Slowly: Take deep breaths to calm your nerves and speak slowly to articulate your thoughts clearly.
Focus on the Goal: Remember why you’re making the call—to get help. Keep this goal in mind to motivate you through the conversation.
5. Reflect and Celebrate After the Call
Reflect on the Experience: Notice how you feel. Most likely, you’ll find that the fear was more intense before the call and has lessened now that you’ve taken action.
Celebrate Your Courage: Acknowledge that you took a brave step toward improving your mental health. This is a significant achievement.
Take the First Step Today
Making that initial call to seek help for your mental health is daunting, but it’s a crucial step towards recovery. Remember, it’s normal to feel anxious about it. Your fear will likely diminish once you begin the conversation.
So, make the call. Do it for yourself. You are worth it.
Written by Justin Matthews, LGSW
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How to Find the Motivation to Overcome Your Fear of Flying
Overcoming a fear of flying is no small feat. It requires courage, determination, and a clear understanding of why it's important to you. Often, the key to staying motivated throughout this journey lies in recognizing the personal consequences of your fear. By reflecting on how your fear of flying has impacted your life, you can find the motivation to push through and achieve lasting change.
Finding Your Personal "Why"
Understanding why overcoming your fear of flying is important can be a game-changer. When you know the deeper reasons behind your decision, it becomes easier to stay focused and motivated. Here's a simple exercise to help you uncover your personal "why."
Exercise: Reflecting on the Cost of Fear
Take a moment to think about why flying, even though it's scary, matters to you. Consider how getting over this fear connects with the things that truly matter in your life—like your relationships, job, and personal growth. Reflecting on these aspects can provide powerful motivation.
Prompt:
Personal Relationships: How has your fear of flying impacted your relationships with family and friends? Think about shared experiences and moments affected by your fear.
Career Opportunities: Reflect on any instances where your fear might have influenced job opportunities or professional growth. How has it played a role in your career path?
Overall Quality of Life: Explore the broader impact on your day-to-day life. In what ways has your fear affected your overall well-being and happiness?
Missed Opportunities: Identify specific opportunities that you might have missed out on due to your fear. What could have been different if fear wasn't a factor?
Conclusion
Using the consequences of your fear as motivation can be incredibly powerful. By recognizing the impact your fear of flying has had on your life, you can find the drive to make meaningful changes. This isn't just about conquering a fear; it's about reclaiming your life and opening up new possibilities. Remember, every step you take brings you closer to overcoming your fear and living a fuller, more liberated life.
Need More Support With Your Fear of Flying?
If you need more help with flying anxiety, Grab the Free Flight Anxiety Toolkit for my top 12 tips here for more ease on your next flight.
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Breaking the Cycle of Quick Fixes: Understanding Their Limitations for Managing Flight Anxiety
For many, the thought of flying triggers significant anxiety. It's natural to seek quick fixes to alleviate these fears, such as avoiding flights, relying on medication or alcohol, seeking endless reassurance, or performing rituals.
While these methods might provide temporary relief, they often perpetuate the cycle of fear and do not address the root cause of flight anxiety.
In this blog, we'll explore why these quick fixes are not the best long-term solutions and offer a glimpse into more effective strategies for managing your flight anxiety.
The Limitations of Quick Fixes
1. Avoidance
Avoiding flights might seem like an easy solution, but it only reinforces your fear. Each time you avoid flying, you miss the opportunity to confront and manage your anxiety. This avoidance can limit your life experiences and opportunities, ultimately making the fear even more daunting. Over time, avoidance can make your world smaller and your fear even bigger.
2. Medication
While medications like Valium, Xanax, or Klonopin can provide temporary relief, they do not address the underlying anxiety. Over time, you might find yourself relying on these medications more frequently, which can lead to dependency. Additionally, medications can make you drowsy, which is not ideal in an emergency situation. They might help you get through a flight, but they don't help you learn to manage your anxiety in a meaningful way.
3. Alcohol
Using alcohol to calm nerves can have negative consequences, such as dehydration, drowsiness, and impaired judgment. While it may provide short-term relief, it doesn’t equip you with the tools you need to manage your anxiety in the long run. Plus, mixing alcohol with anti-anxiety medication can be dangerous, compounding the risks.
4. Seeking Endless Reassurance
Constantly seeking reassurance about flight safety or your ability to handle flying can provide temporary comfort but ultimately reinforces anxiety. Each time you ask for reassurance, you tell your brain that flying is something to be feared, perpetuating the cycle of anxiety.
5. Performing Rituals
Engaging in rituals or compulsive behaviors to feel safe can also reinforce anxiety. These rituals might offer a temporary sense of control, but they don't address the root cause of your fear. Instead, they keep you trapped in a cycle of dependency on these behaviors.
The Real Cost of Quick Fixes
Quick fixes might seem appealing because they offer immediate relief, but they come with significant downsides:
Temporary Relief: Quick fixes provide a temporary solution, but they don’t address the root cause of anxiety.
Reinforcement of Fear: Each time you rely on a quick fix, you reinforce the idea that flying is something to be feared and avoided.
Lack of Skill Development: Quick fixes don’t help you develop the coping skills needed to manage anxiety effectively.
Potential Health Risks: Relying on medication or alcohol can have adverse health effects and may not be safe in the long run.
Moving Beyond Quick Fixes
Understanding the limitations of quick fixes is the first step towards breaking the cycle of flight anxiety. While they may offer temporary relief, they don’t provide the lasting change you need to overcome your fear of flying.
To truly manage your flight anxiety, it’s essential to develop effective, long-term strategies. This involves learning to accept your anxious feelings, preparing thoughtfully for flights, and practicing mindfulness and other coping techniques.
For more detailed strategies and support, I’ve created a comprehensive Flight Anxiety Toolkit. This toolkit is designed to provide you with practical, effective tools to help you manage your flight anxiety and make flying a more comfortable experience.
Need More Support With Your Fear of Flying?
If you need more help with flying anxiety, Grab the Free Flight Anxiety Toolkit for my top 12 tips here for more ease on your next flight.
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A Powerful Tool to Manage Anxious Thoughts
Anxiety can be overwhelming, with upsetting thoughts popping up and disrupting your peace of mind. These thoughts can make you feel like you're losing control, and no matter how hard you try to push them away, they just keep coming back, causing more distress.
Imagine if you could distance yourself from these anxious thoughts and reduce their impact. What if you had a tool that could help you manage these thoughts, making them feel less threatening and more manageable?
One of my favorite tools to use with clients is a technique called "I'm noticing the thought." This exercise helps you create a distance between yourself and your anxious thoughts, allowing you to observe them without being overwhelmed.
By recognizing these thoughts for what they are—just thoughts—you can reduce their power and regain a sense of control.
How It Will Help You
This exercise is designed to help you defuse from your thoughts, which means you'll learn to see them as separate from yourself. This can significantly reduce the distress they cause and help you approach them with a calmer, more balanced perspective.
The Exercise: "I'm Noticing the Thought"
Here’s how you can practice this powerful tool:
Identify an Upsetting Thought Start by writing down a thought that upsets you. For example, "I'm going to screw this up."
Repeat the Thought Say that thought 10 times, either out loud or in writing. This repetition helps you become more aware of the thought without trying to change it.
Modify the Thought Now, say or write the same thought, but this time add “I’m having the thought” in front of it. For example, "I'm having the thought that I'm going to screw this up." Repeat this modified thought 10 times.
Notice the Thought Finally, add “I notice I’m having the thought” in front of the original thought. For example, "I notice I'm having the thought that I'm going to screw this up." Say or write this new version 10 times.
Reflect on the Experience
As you go through this exercise, pay attention to what you notice. How does it feel to add these phrases? Do you feel any change in how the thought impacts you? This exercise can help you see the thought as a mere mental event rather than a fact or a command you must follow.
Will You Use This Tool in the Future?
I encourage you to try this exercise and see how it works for you. It's a simple yet powerful way to manage your anxious thoughts and create a sense of distance from them. Would this be a tool you'll use in the future?
Feel free to share your experience with this exercise in the comments below. I’d love to hear how it went for you and any insights you gained.
Conclusion
Learning to manage anxious thoughts is a crucial part of overcoming anxiety. By practicing "I'm noticing the thought," you can develop a healthier relationship with your thoughts and reduce their power over your emotions. Remember, these thoughts are just that—thoughts. They don't define you or dictate your actions.
Need More Help with Anxiety?
At State of Mind Therapy, our team specializes in helping people overcome the burden of anxiety and OCD. With evidence-based techniques and compassionate guidance, we can help you regain control of your thoughts and live a more fulfilling life.
If you found these tips helpful, sign-up for our free guide: 5 Steps to Live More, Worry Less for more helpful strategies for managing anxiety.