5 Essential Tips to Effectively Sit with Anxiety and Find Relief
It sounds so simple, right? As you start to learn about the strategies that help and don’t help with anxiety, you’ve likely come to realize that running from discomfort only makes matters worse.
So, everything you have been learning tells you not to avoid, distract, or engage in compulsions but to “sit with anxiety” instead.
I understand this isn’t easy. If it was, you wouldn’t be avoiding in the first place.
Why Sitting with Anxiety is Important
Avoidance might seem like a quick fix, but it reinforces the idea that anxiety is something to fear. By learning to sit with anxiety, you can change your relationship with it and reduce its power over you.
I find that there are essential skills I need to help my clients learn in order to effectively “sit with” anxiety. Here are my tips on how to do just that.
5 Tips on How to Sit with Anxiety
1. Be Curious About What Your Body is Doing
Close your eyes to really allow yourself to be present with your mind and body. Do a scan of your body and notice where you are experiencing sensations.
Just name the sensation you notice in a matter-of-fact way. For example: “I notice chest tightness” or “here’s nausea.” Draw an imaginary circle around that area.
2. Acknowledge the Sensation for What It Is
When we feel anxiety in our bodies, we can begin to interpret these sensations as real danger.
If you find your mind doing this, remind yourself, “this is just a sensation” or “here is discomfort.”
3. Be Curious About What Your Mind is Doing
Close your eyes once again and notice what your mind does. Is it giving demanding threats?
Is it spinning with a bunch of random thoughts? Is it desperately trying to focus on something else?
You don’t have to do anything here, just sit back as if you were sitting in the chair of a theater and watching a show.
4. Be Gentle
Sitting with anxiety isn’t easy. You need to give yourself relentless grace and encouragement for doing something difficult. No judgment allowed here.
Tell yourself, “this isn’t easy” or “I can do hard things.”
Beating yourself up for having anxiety is not helpful in moving you forward, so commit to being kinder to yourself.
If a close friend began to panic, would you say, “what’s wrong with you?” Probably not. So don’t tell yourself that either. Treat yourself like you would treat a friend.
5. Remove Temptation
If you are working on sitting with anxiety without avoidance or compulsions, you may want to modify your environment to make it more challenging to access those.
For instance, if you are working on reducing handwashing, remove extra soap or hand wipes. If you are working on not checking the rearview mirror, flip it up or cover it. If you seek excessive reassurance (online or with loved ones), leave your phone/computer and go for a walk so you can’t research the internet.
Practice, Practice, Practice
If you are working on relating to anxiety differently, then these skills are crucial to your success. If you are doing exposure therapy, you are moving towards situations that make you uncomfortable all the time.
If you are struggling to sit with anxiety, you will likely abandon the exposure exercise quickly and end up avoiding the situation (or doing a compulsion).
I recommend practicing these skills regularly before doing exposures. If you only practice these skills during times of high anxiety, it may be more challenging to sit with the uncomfortable feelings.
Taking the Next Step
Sitting with anxiety is a vital skill in managing and overcoming it. By being curious, gentle, and persistent, you can change your relationship with anxiety and lead a more fulfilling life.
If you need help applying these skills, consider starting therapy for anxiety or OCD. Our therapists are trained in using the most effective strategies for treating anxiety disorders and OCD.
Schedule a free 15 minute phone consultation with one of our therapists today to get started.
