Dreading the Chaos of Thanksgiving? 3 Simple Steps to Stay Grounded
Thanksgiving is here, and while it’s meant to be a joyful time, it can feel anything but. Being out of your comfort zone—whether it’s traveling, facing family pressures, or managing expectations—can turn the holiday into a breeding ground for anxiety. The good news? It doesn’t have to.
You don’t need to let anxiety steal the joy this season has to offer. Here’s how to navigate common triggers with calm, confidence, and flexibility.
Step 1: Acceptance
Anxiety often shows up with a long list of “rules”:
“You can’t handle this if you’re not in control.”
“What if something goes wrong?”
“You need to do everything perfectly.”
Start by acknowledging the anxiety when it shows up. Instead of fighting it, try saying:
“Here’s anxiety, telling me I need to control everything.”
“I don’t have to like this feeling, but I can let it be here.”
When you accept that anxiety may show up, you free yourself from its grip. It’s just a feeling—it doesn’t have to define your experience.
Step 2: Reframe
Anxiety likes to tell you that unless you control everything, you won’t be okay. That’s simply not true. You can handle discomfort, even when things don’t go perfectly.
Try reframing anxious thoughts:
Instead of: “I need everything to be perfect.”
Try: “Connection matters more than perfection.”Instead of: “What if something goes wrong?”
Try: “I may not control everything, but I can handle it.”
Flexibility isn’t a failure—it’s an opportunity to focus on what truly matters: connection, joy, and the moments that make Thanksgiving meaningful.
Step 3: Challenge Yourself in Small Ways
Anxiety often convinces us that we need to follow its rules 100% or risk falling apart. But the truth? You don’t have to choose between “all or nothing.” Growth happens in small, manageable steps.
Ask yourself:
“Where can I challenge anxiety, even in the slightest way?”
“What’s one small step I can take to push back against anxiety’s grip?”
For example:
If you feel pressure to make everything perfect, delegate one task—even if it means things might get messy.
If germs are a concern, try taking precautions without following every anxious ritual.
If family dynamics feel overwhelming, commit to staying present for just one moment at a time.
Each time you challenge anxiety’s rules, you build confidence. Can you imagine how it would feel to go against anxiety’s grip and see that everything turns out just fine?
Remember This
Anxiety loves to convince you that you can’t handle things unless you’re in control. But you are capable. You may not control every aspect of Thanksgiving, but you can handle whatever comes your way.
This holiday, it’s not about eliminating anxiety—it’s about showing up anyway. Each small step away from anxiety’s rules is a step toward freedom and joy.
You’ve got this. Anxiety may try to call the shots, but you have the power to push back. This Thanksgiving, embrace flexibility, let go of control, and focus on creating memories.
Final Thoughts
Imagine sitting at the Thanksgiving table feeling calm and connected. No overthinking, no spiraling—just being in the moment. That’s the holiday you deserve, and it’s within your reach.
Take it one step at a time, and remind yourself: “I may not control everything, but I can handle it.”
Anticipation Anxiety Explained: Why It Happens and What You Can Do
That overwhelming feeling of dread that creeps in days or even weeks before something important—it's called anticipation anxiety. Unlike typical pre-event nerves, anticipation anxiety can feel like a mental tug-of-war, making you question your plans, consider backing out, and lose precious sleep. It’s the kind of worry that can gnaw at you and cast a shadow on even the most exciting occasions.
Understanding Anticipation Anxiety
Anticipation anxiety isn’t just about being nervous—it’s the anxious buildup that happens when we fixate on upcoming situations, like travel, presentations, or even doctor visits. The mind starts playing out “what if” scenarios, almost like watching a horror movie in your head. The details can become so vivid and consuming that you’re left feeling drained before the event even happens. This cycle can be hard to break, especially without clear guidance on how to disrupt it.
The Science Behind Anticipation Anxiety
Why does the brain fixate on worst-case scenarios? It’s part of our brain’s survival programming. In the past, this instinct helped keep us safe from threats. But now, even modern-day events—like taking a flight or speaking in front of a crowd—can set off that same response. Our Calm Before Takeoff Workshop dives into how this response shapes our thoughts and offers strategies to counter it.
When you anticipate a stressful situation, your brain signals that you’re in “danger” mode, flooding your body with energy to prepare for action. Even just thinking about a big trip or public speaking can activate this response, convincing you that you shouldn’t do it. And because our minds are naturally inclined to notice patterns, the more often you feel anxious about something, the faster your brain is to react the next time.
Can You Treat Anticipation Anxiety? Absolutely!
Good news: anticipation anxiety isn’t a disorder—it’s a pattern. And patterns can be changed. Evidence-based therapies like ERP, CBT, and ACT offer powerful ways to disrupt this cycle. Our workshop walks anxious flyers through techniques inspired by these therapies to help you start reducing anxiety.
Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP): By gradually facing the fears that trigger your anxiety, ERP helps you learn that the worst-case scenario rarely happens.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT): ACT encourages you to get a little distance from anxious thoughts, helping you learn to “thank” your mind when it sends scary signals.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): CBT helps you examine whether your worst-case thoughts are as realistic as they feel.
In our workshop, we teach students how to practice techniques like these to help you stay grounded, even when anxiety kicks in.
How to Handle Anticipation Anxiety Right Now
When your mind starts racing through worst-case scenarios, mindfulness and self-compassion can bring you back to the present. Mindfulness keeps you focused on the here and now, helping you step away from the horror story playing in your head. Practicing mindfulness can train your brain to recognize when it’s spiraling and bring you back to reality.
Relaxation techniques can ease physical symptoms, like a racing heart or tense muscles. Though they don’t eliminate anxiety, they make the physical sensations less overwhelming, helping you stay calm.
Reframe Your Thoughts: When you catch yourself telling the scary story, try to remind yourself: “This is just a story. It’s not reality.”
Setting Realistic Goals and Expectations
Even with all these strategies, it’s natural to feel some anxiety. Managing anticipation anxiety is about progresOur workshopction. Each time you practice a skill or shift your mindset, you’re building resilience. Our Calm Before Takeoff workshop will help you practice specific strategies to manage the dreaded “what ifs” so you can stay committed to your plans without letting anxiety take over.
Moving Forward
Anticipation anxiety is manageable, and there’s a path to a calmer, more peaceful experience. Therapists trained in CBT, ACT, and ERP, like those at State of Mind Therapy, can guide you through this journey, offering tailored support and effective tools.
If you’re ready to start feeling more in control of your mind before big events, join me in my upcoming Calm Before Takeoff workshop. Together, we’ll cover the step-by-step strategies to tackle your anticipation anxiety and make even the scariest “what if” thoughts easier to manage.
Ready to Crush Anticipation Anxiety Before Your Next Flight?
Related Articles
From Overwhelmed to Hopeful: The Power of One Word
Anxiety can make you feel stuck, as if you're trapped in a cycle of worrying thoughts or avoidance behaviors that you just can’t break. Whether it's avoiding flying, feeling overwhelmed by emotions, or struggling to make decisions, these patterns of anxiety can feel like they're carved in stone.
But here’s the good news: there’s a simple, powerful tool that can help you shift your mindset and see the possibility for growth, even when change feels impossible. And that tool, my friend, is the word “yet.”
The Power of Yet is simple but oh, so powerful. Instead of saying, “I’m not good at handling my anxiety,” try saying, “I’m not good at handling my anxiety yet.” That one little word opens the door to progress. It’s a reminder that just because you’re not where you want to be today doesn’t mean you’ll never get there. You are on your way, and it’s important to recognize that.
Feeling Stuck Is Part of the Process
If you’ve ever felt stuck in your anxiety, you’re not alone. In fact, it’s a normal part of the process. So many of my clients share these same struggles:
“I’m not good at handling my emotions.”
“I can’t deal with turbulence.”
“I don’t like flying and I’ll never be able to enjoy it.”
“I’m not good at sitting with discomfort.”
“I’m not confident in my ability to make decisions.”
“I can’t say no to OCD.”
These thoughts are rooted in fear and doubt. And while they feel heavy, they’re not permanent. The word “yet” adds a sense of possibility. It’s a small but powerful reminder that you are capable of growth.
Shifting From Fixed to Growth Mindset
When you embrace the Power of Yet, you make room for growth—no matter where you are in your journey. Instead of being stuck in the mindset of “I can’t,” you can shift to “I can’t yet.” This subtle change helps you approach challenges with more patience, knowing that skills take time to develop.
Here’s how you can reframe common anxiety-related thoughts using the Power of Yet:
Instead of: "I’m not good at handling my emotions."
Try: "I’m not good at handling my emotions yet, but I’m working on building that skill every day."Instead of: "I’ll never be able to relax during a flight."
Try: "I haven’t been able to relax during a flight yet, but I’m taking steps toward feeling more comfortable."Instead of: "I can’t handle turbulence."
Try: "I can’t handle turbulence yet, but I’m learning tools to manage my fear."Instead of: "I’m not good at sitting with discomfort."
Try: "I’m not good at sitting with discomfort yet, but I know I can build that muscle over time."Instead of: "I don’t trust myself to make decisions."
Try: "I’m not confident in my decision-making yet, but I’m working on trusting my judgment."Instead of: "I can’t say no to OCD."
Try: "I haven’t been able to say no to OCD yet, but I’m learning how to resist compulsions and sit with discomfort."
Practical Strategy: Create a Daily Affirmation Practice
Now that you understand the power of yet, it’s time to start using it in your daily life. I get it, this likely isn’t a mindset that comes naturally. It takes practice and intentionality to make the shift—but that’s where daily practice can make all the difference.
Here’s how you can create a simple daily affirmation practice to build the Power of Yet into your routine:
Identify areas where you feel stuck: Write down the thoughts that make you feel like you’re not making progress, such as "I can’t manage my anxiety."
Add 'yet': Reframe each thought by adding "yet" to the end. For example, "I can’t manage my anxiety yet, but I’m learning strategies to cope."
Repeat: Say these new statements out loud every day, preferably in the morning, to start your day with a growth-oriented mindset. Or, record yourself reading them and listen while you go about your day.
Track your progress: Over time, notice how your thinking shifts. Even small changes are signs of growth.
Reflective Questions: Embrace the Possibility of Growth
Incorporating the Power of Yet into your life can make a huge difference in how you approach challenges. But it’s also important to take time to reflect on where you might be holding yourself back. Consider these questions to keep you moving forward:
In what areas of your life do you feel stuck?
How might adding the word “yet” to your thoughts create a new sense of possibility for you?
What’s one area where you’ve already made progress, even if it feels small?
How can you be more patient with yourself as you work toward your goals?
Conclusion
Feeling stuck is a normal part of working through anxiety, but it doesn’t mean you’re destined to stay there. The Power of Yet reminds you that you are capable of change, even when it feels like you’re not. By shifting your language and mindset, you open the door to growth, possibility, and a more compassionate relationship with yourself.
Remember, progress takes time. Be patient with yourself, and keep adding "yet" to your journey.
Ready to work with an anxiety therapist?
State of Mind Therapy in Bloomington can help. Click the button below to sign-up for your free 15 minute phone consultation today.
Related Articles
3 Essential Grounding Techniques to Help You Regain Control When Anxiety Strikes
When anxiety strikes in high-stress situations—whether it's on a plane, in a crowded room, or right before a big presentation—your emotions can quickly spiral out of control. The good news? You have the power to regulate those emotions with specific skills that help you stay grounded and calm, no matter the situation.
These are strategies you can rely on whether you’re mid-flight, navigating a stressful social situation, or managing everyday anxiety.
1. TIPP: Lower Your Intense Emotions Fast
When anxiety peaks—especially during panic or extreme distress—your body goes into fight-or-flight mode, making it hard to think clearly. That’s where TIPP comes in. This DBT skill is designed to lower the intensity of your emotions quickly by using Temperature, Intense Exercise, Paced Breathing, and Progressive Relaxation.
How to Use TIPP:
Temperature: When you're in a panic, holding your face in cold water (or splashing it) triggers the body’s dive reflex, slowing your heart rate and calming the nervous system.
Intense Exercise: If you can, do something physically intense for 1-2 minutes—jumping jacks, running in place, or anything to burn off the excess energy from your anxiety.
Paced Breathing: Slow, deep breathing helps regulate the body. Try inhaling for 4 counts, holding for 4, and exhaling for 6.
Progressive Relaxation: Gradually tense and release muscle groups, starting from your toes and working up to your head, to relieve tension in your body.
Example for Flight Anxiety:
Lets say you are about to board a flight and feel panic creeping in. Step into the restroom and splash cold water on your face, take deep breaths, and do a few stretches or tense-and-release exercises before getting on the plane. Using TIPP helps lower your panic so you can board the flight feeling more in control. Need more flying anxiety tips? Check out our free flight anxiety toolkit.
2. Dropping Anchor: Stay Grounded in the Present Moment
When your mind starts spinning with “what ifs” or spiraling thoughts, "Dropping Anchor" is a simple but powerful skill to pull you back into the present. The idea is to ground yourself by connecting with your body and your surroundings, helping you regain control when emotions feel like they're sweeping you away.
How to Drop Anchor:
Acknowledge: Name and notice your current feelings. “Here is anxiety” or “here is tightness in my chest.”
Notice Your Surroundings: Look around you and observe what you see, hear, and feel in the moment.
Engage Your Body: Push your feet into the floor, sit tall, and feel the sensations in your body. Move a little—stretch, roll your shoulders, or clench and release your fists to remind yourself of where you are.
Example for Public Speaking Anxiety:
Right before stepping up to speak, your mind races with fears of messing up. Drop anchor by feeling your feet firmly on the ground, taking a slow breath, and noticing the room around you. As you begin, stay connected to your body and surroundings, which will help keep your anxiety from taking over.
3. 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique: Bring Your Focus Back
When anxiety feels overwhelming and you're lost in your thoughts, the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique is a quick way to pull yourself out of your mind and into the present. This technique uses your senses to ground you, shifting your focus away from anxious thoughts and back to the here and now.
How to Use 5-4-3-2-1:
5: Look around and name 5 things you can see.
4: Notice 4 things you can touch (your clothes, the chair, your phone, etc.).
3: Listen for 3 sounds around you.
2: Identify 2 things you can smell.
1: Find 1 thing you can taste (even just the lingering taste of your last meal).
Example for Fearful Flyers:
Mid-flight, you start to feel panicked. Use the 5-4-3-2-1 technique to ground yourself: look around the cabin, feel the seatbelt, listen to the engines humming, notice the scent of your travel pillow, and focus on the taste of the drink you just had. By engaging your senses, you redirect your focus from the fear to the present.
Example for Intrusive Thoughts:
When intrusive thoughts begin to overwhelm you, use 5-4-3-2-1 to break the loop. Find 5 things you can see in the room, touch the chair you’re sitting on, notice the sound of your breath, identify the scent of the space you’re in, and focus on any taste you can notice. By actively engaging your senses, you shift your focus away from the intrusive thoughts and into the present.
Final Thoughts:
When anxiety hits, it can feel like everything is out of control. But by using these emotion regulation skills—TIPP to quickly regulate intense emotions, Dropping Anchor to stay grounded in the moment, and 5-4-3-2-1 to refocus your attention—you can regain control over your mind and body, no matter the situation.
P.S. We gave some helpful tips on flight anxiety in this blog. If you are looking for more specific strategies to manage flight anxiety, Click here and I’ll send you our free Flight Anxiety Toolkit right to your inbox.
Ready to work with an anxiety therapist?
State of Mind Therapy in Bloomington can help. Click the button below to sign-up for your free 15 minute phone consultation today.
Related Articles
How to Navigate Anxiety in Everyday Life—No Matter the Situation
Anxiety can be sneaky. One moment, you’re living your life, and the next, your mind is hijacked by worries, doubts, or fears. Sometimes anxiety pops up when you’re about to board a plane, other times when you’re about to give a speech, or maybe when you hear about norovirus making its rounds in your community.
If you’re like many people I work with, your anxiety could revolve around specific fears—whether that’s a fear of flying, a fear of getting sick, or intrusive thoughts that make you question the kind of person you are. No matter the trigger, one thing is clear: anxiety wears many hats. But here’s the good news—it doesn’t have to control your life.
Let’s look at how anxiety shows up, and more importantly, what you can do about it in those difficult moments.
1. Recognize That Thoughts Are Not Facts
Anxiety loves to tell stories, but just because you think something, doesn’t mean it’s true. Your mind might race with worst-case scenarios, but those thoughts are just that—thoughts.
Example for the Anxious Flyer:
As you sit in the airport, waiting for your flight, your mind starts listing everything that could go wrong—turbulence, panic, feeling trapped. These are just possibilities, not realities. Practice saying, "These are just thoughts, not facts," and remind yourself that you're capable of handling discomfort without reacting to every anxious thought. Check out our flight anxiety toolkit for more effective strategies.
Example for Someone with Emetophobia (Fear of Vomiting):
When you hear about a stomach bug going around, your mind immediately jumps to “What if I get sick? What if I can’t stop it?” These thoughts may feel overwhelming, but they don’t predict the future. Remember, your brain is wired to protect you by imagining threats that may never happen.
Example for Those Struggling with Intrusive Thoughts:
You’re going about your day when suddenly, a disturbing thought pops into your mind: “What if I lose control? What if this means something about me?” These intrusive thoughts are not a reflection of your character. Let your actions define your real self, not your thoughts.
2. Allow Yourself to Be Uncomfortable
One of the biggest traps anxiety sets is the promise that you need to feel comfortable and certain to be okay. In reality, the more you try to avoid discomfort, the more anxious you become. True relief comes when you allow yourself to be uncomfortable.
Example for the Anxious Flyer:
Flying can bring a lot of uncertainty—delays, turbulence, confined spaces. Instead of trying to eliminate all discomfort, practice saying, "It’s okay to be uncomfortable right now." You don’t need certainty to feel safe. In fact, you already know this. In many other areas of your life you don’t require as much certainty.
Example for Someone with Emetophobia:
When you hear about an illness, it’s tempting to try and control everything—avoiding people, cleaning excessively, or researching symptoms. Instead, acknowledge that some discomfort is part of life. You can’t control every situation, but you can control how you respond. Practice sitting with that discomfort rather than scrambling to eliminate it.
Example for Those Struggling with Intrusive Thoughts:
Intrusive thoughts often leave you feeling unsettled and desperate for relief. Instead of trying to push the thoughts away, allow yourself to feel uncomfortable. The more you resist, the stronger they become. Practice saying, "I can tolerate this discomfort," and let the thought come and go without fighting it.
3. Focus on What You Can Control
Anxiety thrives when we focus on the things we can’t control. Instead, shift your attention to the aspects of the situation that are within your control. Let go of the rest.
Example for the Anxious Flyer:
While you can’t control turbulence or flight delays, you can control how you prepare for the flight. Bring things that calm you—your favorite podcast, a comforting snack, or a breathing exercise. Focus on these, and let go of trying to predict what might happen on the flight.
Example for Someone with Emetophobia:
You may not be able to control the presence of a stomach bug in your community, but you can control your own hygiene, rest, and stress management. Trying to control every potential risk is impossible, but you can focus on maintaining your own well-being.
Example for Those Struggling with Intrusive Thoughts:
You can’t control the random thoughts that pop into your mind, but you can control your reaction. Instead of engaging with the thought, remind yourself, "I don’t need to respond to every thought." You can choose to focus on something else—whether that’s an activity or a calming mantra like, "I can handle anything that comes my way."
4. Direct Your Attention Where It Serves You
Imagine your attention is like a flashlight—you control where to point it. When anxiety takes over, it’s as if the flashlight is focused directly on the fear. You get to choose to zoom out and redirect it.
Example for the Anxious Flyer:
When turbulence hits, your mind might fixate on the uncomfortable sensation and the “what ifs” that come with it. Instead of letting the flashlight focus on those fears, shift it to something within your control—maybe a breathing technique or visualizing your destination. Remind yourself, "I’m choosing where to point my attention."
Example for Someone with Emetophobia:
Anxiety might urge you to constantly check your body or your children for signs of illness. Instead of zooming in on every sensation, choose to focus your flashlight elsewhere. Maybe it’s a book you’re reading or a hobby you enjoy. The more you direct your attention, the less power anxiety has.
Example for Those Struggling with Intrusive Thoughts:
When an intrusive thought pops up, it’s easy to get stuck on it, replaying it over and over. But you have the power to redirect your focus. Picture yourself turning down the volume on the thought and shifting your focus to something neutral or calming. Your thoughts don’t have to control your attention.
Anxiety can feel overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to dictate your life. By recognizing that your thoughts are not facts, allowing discomfort, focusing on what you can control, and redirecting your attention, you can start to break the cycle of anxiety.
Want more specific tips on overcoming a fear of flying? Click here to grab free flight anxiety toolkit to get started.
Ready to work with an anxiety therapist?
State of Mind Therapy in Bloomington can help. Click the button below to sign-up for your free 15 minute phone consultation today.
Related Articles
How Gratitude Can Help Alleviate Anxiety
When you are anxious, your mind is usually consumed with fearful thoughts, bad outcomes of future events, or thoughts that just won't stop.
This constant worry can be exhausting and debilitating.
But there’s a simple yet powerful tool you can use to interrupt this pattern: gratitude.
Why Gratitude Helps with Anxiety
It may sound too simplistic, but trust me on this. Research has shown that practicing gratitude can have profound effects on your mood, sleep, and even your longevity.
When you are anxious, try to interrupt your thought pattern with gratitude. This will move your thoughts from fearful, anxious, and negative to feelings of appreciation and love.
The Science Behind Gratitude
Studies have found that gratitude can reduce symptoms of anxiety by:
Shifting focus from negative to positive thoughts
Enhancing feelings of well-being
Improving sleep quality
Increasing resilience to stress
How to Practice Gratitude
There are many ways to practice gratitude, and there is no wrong way to do it. The most important thing is to start and do it consistently. Even if that means having to repeat it 30 times a day.
Here are some tips on how to incorporate gratitude into your daily routine:
1. Be Specific
When practicing gratitude, be specific. Don’t just say you are grateful for your family. Go into detail.
Why are you grateful for your family?
Who is one person in your family you are particularly grateful for today?
How has this person impacted your life or day?
What would you say to them if you could?
The more detailed you get, the better this exercise works.
2. Keep a Gratitude Journal
Write down three things you are grateful for each day. This can be done in the morning to start your day on a positive note, or at night to reflect on the good things that happened during the day.
3. Think About Someone You Are Grateful For
Spend a few moments thinking about someone who has made a positive impact on your life. Reflect on why you are grateful for them and how they have helped you.
4. Write and Send a Letter of Gratitude
Writing a letter to someone you are grateful for can be a powerful way to express your appreciation. If possible, send the letter to them.
This not only helps you feel good but also strengthens your relationship with that person.
5. Count Your Blessings
Sit quietly and mentally list everything you are grateful for. See how many things you can come up with. This exercise can help shift your focus from what is going wrong to what is going right.
6. Write a Thank You Note
Writing thank you notes is a simple but effective way to practice gratitude. Whether it’s for a small favor or a big gesture, expressing your thanks can boost your mood and foster positive feelings.
7. Incorporate Gratitude in Prayer
If you are religious, incorporate gratitude into your prayers. Thank your higher power for the blessings in your life.
Make Gratitude a Habit
The key to reaping the benefits of gratitude is consistency. Try to make gratitude a daily habit. Here are a few suggestions on when to practice gratitude:
Before bedtime
At meals
First thing in the morning
Gratitude is a powerful tool that can help alleviate anxiety and improve your overall well-being. By shifting your focus from negative to positive thoughts, you can break the cycle of anxiety and foster feelings of appreciation and love. Start incorporating gratitude into your daily routine and see how it transforms your life.
Share On:
Ready to work with an anxiety therapist?
State of Mind Therapy in Bloomington can help. Click the button below to sign-up for your free 15 minute phone consultation today.
Related Articles
Understanding Reassurance Seeking and How It Fuels Anxiety
Living with anxiety or OCD can be incredibly challenging, especially when intrusive thoughts and constant worries take over your mind.
One common coping mechanism people turn to is reassurance seeking. While it may provide temporary relief, it often fuels anxiety in the long run.
In this blog post, we’ll explore what reassurance seeking is, why it’s problematic for anxiety and OCD recovery, and the different types of reassurance seeking.
What is Reassurance Seeking?
Reassurance seeking involves looking for confirmation or validation from others to alleviate anxiety or uncertainty. This can include repeatedly asking for assurances about health, safety, relationships, or morality.
While seeking reassurance might provide a brief sense of relief, it can quickly become a compulsive behavior that perpetuates anxiety.
Why is Reassurance Seeking Problematic?
Reassurance seeking is problematic because it reinforces the idea that the intrusive thoughts or worries are legitimate threats that need to be addressed. This can prevent you from learning to tolerate uncertainty and develop healthy coping mechanisms. Over time, reassurance seeking can become a crutch, making it harder to manage anxiety or OCD independently.
Types of reassurance traps
1. Do No Harm
This type of reassurance seeking involves looking for certainty that you are not a bad person. Intrusive harming thoughts can have violent, sexual, or embarrassing content.
For instance, you might find yourself always being careful to avoid accidental harm to yourself or others. Or you may have an overwhelming fear of offending God, leading you to constantly try to prove to yourself that you are in good grace.
2. Guarantees Forever
This type of reassurance seeking is about finding certainty that everything will be okay.
This could mean constantly seeking reassurance to prove you don’t have a serious illness by checking your pulse or temperature without any medical advice.
It could also involve needing to know if you are going to get fired by studying others' reactions and excessively asking colleagues if they think you are not performing well.
Additionally, it can mean needing to confirm your partner’s faithfulness by scanning their face, checking their phone and emails, and becoming upset if a text is not answered right away.
3. Banish All Doubts
This type of reassurance seeking involves trying to find answers to questions that are unanswerable. These might include questions like, “How can I be sure I’m really here on earth?”
Reassurance seeking can involve frequently asking friends or family to confirm your identity or reality, or seeking validation from online forums about your sexual orientation or mental health.
4. Don’t Mess Up
This type of reassurance seeking is driven by the fear of messing up, especially at work.
This can lead to endless checking of emails or working excessively to avoid imperfections. It can also involve doing extensive research and planning for a simple purchase to ensure you make the perfect decision.
Reassurance seeking can look like spending hours drafting and redrafting a simple email to avoid any potential errors or researching for days before making a minor purchase decision.
How State of Mind Therapy Can Help with Reassurance Seeking
If you struggle with anxiety and reassurance seeking, know that you are not alone. At State of Mind Therapy, we specialize in helping individuals break free from the cycle of anxiety and find peace.
Our experienced therapists use evidence-based strategies to address the root causes of your anxiety and develop healthier coping mechanisms.
Ready to get started? Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation with one of our therapists today to take the first step towards a calmer, more confident you.
5 Essential Tips to Effectively Sit with Anxiety and Find Relief
It sounds so simple, right? As you start to learn about the strategies that help and don’t help with anxiety, you’ve likely come to realize that running from discomfort only makes matters worse.
So, everything you have been learning tells you not to avoid, distract, or engage in compulsions but to “sit with anxiety” instead.
I understand this isn’t easy. If it was, you wouldn’t be avoiding in the first place.
Why Sitting with Anxiety is Important
Avoidance might seem like a quick fix, but it reinforces the idea that anxiety is something to fear. By learning to sit with anxiety, you can change your relationship with it and reduce its power over you.
I find that there are essential skills I need to help my clients learn in order to effectively “sit with” anxiety. Here are my tips on how to do just that.
5 Tips on How to Sit with Anxiety
1. Be Curious About What Your Body is Doing
Close your eyes to really allow yourself to be present with your mind and body. Do a scan of your body and notice where you are experiencing sensations.
Just name the sensation you notice in a matter-of-fact way. For example: “I notice chest tightness” or “here’s nausea.” Draw an imaginary circle around that area.
2. Acknowledge the Sensation for What It Is
When we feel anxiety in our bodies, we can begin to interpret these sensations as real danger.
If you find your mind doing this, remind yourself, “this is just a sensation” or “here is discomfort.”
3. Be Curious About What Your Mind is Doing
Close your eyes once again and notice what your mind does. Is it giving demanding threats?
Is it spinning with a bunch of random thoughts? Is it desperately trying to focus on something else?
You don’t have to do anything here, just sit back as if you were sitting in the chair of a theater and watching a show.
4. Be Gentle
Sitting with anxiety isn’t easy. You need to give yourself relentless grace and encouragement for doing something difficult. No judgment allowed here.
Tell yourself, “this isn’t easy” or “I can do hard things.”
Beating yourself up for having anxiety is not helpful in moving you forward, so commit to being kinder to yourself.
If a close friend began to panic, would you say, “what’s wrong with you?” Probably not. So don’t tell yourself that either. Treat yourself like you would treat a friend.
5. Remove Temptation
If you are working on sitting with anxiety without avoidance or compulsions, you may want to modify your environment to make it more challenging to access those.
For instance, if you are working on reducing handwashing, remove extra soap or hand wipes. If you are working on not checking the rearview mirror, flip it up or cover it. If you seek excessive reassurance (online or with loved ones), leave your phone/computer and go for a walk so you can’t research the internet.
Practice, Practice, Practice
If you are working on relating to anxiety differently, then these skills are crucial to your success. If you are doing exposure therapy, you are moving towards situations that make you uncomfortable all the time.
If you are struggling to sit with anxiety, you will likely abandon the exposure exercise quickly and end up avoiding the situation (or doing a compulsion).
I recommend practicing these skills regularly before doing exposures. If you only practice these skills during times of high anxiety, it may be more challenging to sit with the uncomfortable feelings.
Taking the Next Step
Sitting with anxiety is a vital skill in managing and overcoming it. By being curious, gentle, and persistent, you can change your relationship with anxiety and lead a more fulfilling life.
If you need help applying these skills, consider starting therapy for anxiety or OCD. Our therapists are trained in using the most effective strategies for treating anxiety disorders and OCD.
Schedule a free 15 minute phone consultation with one of our therapists today to get started.
Ready to work with an anxiety therapist?
Related Articles
7 Mistakes I Made During My Anxiety Recovery
Hiding anxiety can worsen the condition. Learn how assuming that pushing through, excessive research, seeking reassurance, and avoiding activities can hinder recovery. Discover how radical acceptance and proper steps can help manage anxiety effectively. Schedule a free 15-minute consultation for personalized support.
Have you ever felt like your anxiety is taking control of your life? The constant worry, the sleepless nights, and the overwhelming fear of reaching out for help can be paralyzing. You might find yourself stuck, unable to move forward, and wondering if you’re the only one feeling this way.
You’re not alone.
Years ago, I struggled with anxiety and panic. Now, on the other side of that struggle, I've realized that some of the things I was doing were actually stalling my progress. I want to share my experiences with you so that you don’t prolong your suffering like I did.
In this blog, you’ll discover the seven biggest mistakes I made while dealing with anxiety and how you can avoid them. By learning from my experiences, you can take steps towards a healthier, more fulfilling life.
1. Hiding My Anxiety from Others
The feeling of anxiety began to dominate my life once it became chronic. I didn’t want anyone to know that I had an anxiety disorder because I had created a narrative in my head about who I was and how I wanted to be seen by others. The fear of being rejected by society and possibly ruining my reputation led me to keep the anxiety my dirty little secret, which ultimately made my anxiety even worse.
2. Assuming That Always “Pushing Through” Anxiety Was the Solution
I believed that pushing through my anxiety would eventually get me out of it. I avoided crucial self-care, thinking that taking time to rest was lazy.
But the truth is, we all need moments to “rest and digest.” Our parasympathetic nervous system needs a break so our nerves can rest.
3. Spending Excessive Time Researching Anxiety
I became obsessed with solving my anxiety problem by consuming every book, blog, YouTube video, and podcast I could find.
However, I learned the hard way that while our minds are excellent at solving external problems, they are terrible at solving their own issues.
4. Engaging in Reassurance Seeking
Reassurance seeking is a classic symptom of anxiety. I often asked my wife for reassurance, which provided short-term relief but never helped in the long run.
Questions like, “Did I damage my nervous system beyond repair?” always returned, even after her reassurances.
Excessive reassurance seeking behavior for every worry can strain relationships and mute anxiety..but only temporarily because it was never enough. Anxiety always wanted more.
5. Framing Anxiety as the Enemy to Conquer
When I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), Social Anxiety, and Panic Disorder, I viewed anxiety as an enemy to conquer.
I visualized myself defeating it, which provided temporary relief, but the anxiety always came back stronger.
6. Engaging in Pseudo-Science Practices
In the beginning, I tried to treat my anxiety with “antidotes” found on the internet.
I fell into the trap of pseudo-science practices like “The Law of Attraction,” believing that meditation alone could cure me.
Let me save you some time—those methods don’t work. What did work? Following research backed methods like ACT, CBT, and ERP.
7. Avoiding Activities Until I Was “Cured”
I avoided people and activities I used to enjoy, thinking I needed to be “cured” first. This only made my life smaller, less joyful, and more anxiety-ridden.
Taking the First Step
I know first hand how hard it can be to live with anxiety, but recovery is possible. If you want help untangling from anxiety, schedule a free 15 minute phone consultation to get started.
Written by Justin Matthews, LGSW
Overcoming Your Fear of Seeking Help for Your Anxiety
Feeling Overwhelmed by the Fear of Seeking Help?
You might be thinking…..“I know I need to get help, but my fear, anxiety, and ego won’t let me.”
Does this sound familiar? You’ve done your research and identified a few providers who might be a good fit for your mental health concerns. But now, you find yourself staring at your phone, desperate for the conversation to be over before it even begins.
The fear of calling makes it impossible to commit. You visualize yourself freezing up, unable to get the words out, or losing control and sounding foolish.
Perhaps your ego stops you from admitting you need help, screaming, “Don’t be such a pansy! Man up! There are people starving in Africa, and you’re whining about your anxiety?”
You’re Not Alone
I have good news for you: you’re not crazy; you’re human.
Many of us, especially men, are terrified of making that initial phone call to seek help. Our minds excel at manufacturing automatic thoughts such as, “I can’t believe it’s come to this,” or “I used to be so normal, how could this happen to me?”
These thoughts saturate our brains, leading to resistance. Additionally, despite significant progress, mental health stigma still exists, particularly in the U.S., which can further hinder seeking therapy.
My Personal Journey with Overcoming Anxiety to Call a Therapist
In the beginning stages of my anxiety journey, I remember the day I was ready to make an appointment for therapy after trying to “treat” myself for two years.
I had a therapist in mind, but the fear of freezing up and not being able to articulate my issues kept me from making the call.
This fear fueled my anxiety and avoidance for weeks. Finally, I decided enough was enough.
Here’s how I overcame this obstacle:
Making the Call to A Therapist: Steps to Overcome Anxiety and OCD
1. Accept discomfort
Acknowledge Your Fear: Accept that you’re feeling anxious and that it’s okay. Give your anxiety and fear the space they need without judgment.
Commit to the Call: Decide that, regardless of how the conversation goes, you will be okay. This mindset helps reduce the pressure to be perfect.
2. Prepare Yourself
Write Down Key Points: Outline what you want to say to the therapist. This can include your symptoms, how long you’ve been experiencing them, and what you hope to achieve through therapy.
Practice: If you’re nervous, practice saying these points out loud. This can help you feel more confident and less likely to freeze up.
3. Dial the Number
Start the Call: The most challenging part is starting. Once you dial the number, the hardest part is over.
Begin the Conversation: Your fear will likely be most intense before the call, but once you start talking, it will diminish. You may feel anxious, but it will ebb and flow.
4. Stay Calm During the Call
Breathe and Speak Slowly: Take deep breaths to calm your nerves and speak slowly to articulate your thoughts clearly.
Focus on the Goal: Remember why you’re making the call—to get help. Keep this goal in mind to motivate you through the conversation.
5. Reflect and Celebrate After the Call
Reflect on the Experience: Notice how you feel. Most likely, you’ll find that the fear was more intense before the call and has lessened now that you’ve taken action.
Celebrate Your Courage: Acknowledge that you took a brave step toward improving your mental health. This is a significant achievement.
Take the First Step Today
Making that initial call to seek help for your mental health is daunting, but it’s a crucial step towards recovery. Remember, it’s normal to feel anxious about it. Your fear will likely diminish once you begin the conversation.
So, make the call. Do it for yourself. You are worth it.
Written by Justin Matthews, LGSW
Ready to get started with therapy?
Click here to schedule your free 15 minute phone consultation
A Powerful Tool to Manage Anxious Thoughts
Anxiety can be overwhelming, with upsetting thoughts popping up and disrupting your peace of mind. These thoughts can make you feel like you're losing control, and no matter how hard you try to push them away, they just keep coming back, causing more distress.
Imagine if you could distance yourself from these anxious thoughts and reduce their impact. What if you had a tool that could help you manage these thoughts, making them feel less threatening and more manageable?
One of my favorite tools to use with clients is a technique called "I'm noticing the thought." This exercise helps you create a distance between yourself and your anxious thoughts, allowing you to observe them without being overwhelmed.
By recognizing these thoughts for what they are—just thoughts—you can reduce their power and regain a sense of control.
How It Will Help You
This exercise is designed to help you defuse from your thoughts, which means you'll learn to see them as separate from yourself. This can significantly reduce the distress they cause and help you approach them with a calmer, more balanced perspective.
The Exercise: "I'm Noticing the Thought"
Here’s how you can practice this powerful tool:
Identify an Upsetting Thought Start by writing down a thought that upsets you. For example, "I'm going to screw this up."
Repeat the Thought Say that thought 10 times, either out loud or in writing. This repetition helps you become more aware of the thought without trying to change it.
Modify the Thought Now, say or write the same thought, but this time add “I’m having the thought” in front of it. For example, "I'm having the thought that I'm going to screw this up." Repeat this modified thought 10 times.
Notice the Thought Finally, add “I notice I’m having the thought” in front of the original thought. For example, "I notice I'm having the thought that I'm going to screw this up." Say or write this new version 10 times.
Reflect on the Experience
As you go through this exercise, pay attention to what you notice. How does it feel to add these phrases? Do you feel any change in how the thought impacts you? This exercise can help you see the thought as a mere mental event rather than a fact or a command you must follow.
Will You Use This Tool in the Future?
I encourage you to try this exercise and see how it works for you. It's a simple yet powerful way to manage your anxious thoughts and create a sense of distance from them. Would this be a tool you'll use in the future?
Feel free to share your experience with this exercise in the comments below. I’d love to hear how it went for you and any insights you gained.
Conclusion
Learning to manage anxious thoughts is a crucial part of overcoming anxiety. By practicing "I'm noticing the thought," you can develop a healthier relationship with your thoughts and reduce their power over your emotions. Remember, these thoughts are just that—thoughts. They don't define you or dictate your actions.
Need More Help with Anxiety?
At State of Mind Therapy, our team specializes in helping people overcome the burden of anxiety and OCD. With evidence-based techniques and compassionate guidance, we can help you regain control of your thoughts and live a more fulfilling life.
If you found these tips helpful, sign-up for our free guide: 5 Steps to Live More, Worry Less for more helpful strategies for managing anxiety.
Follow-Us on Social
Discover Our Favorite Books for Managing Anxiety and OCD 📚
Learning all you can about anxiety or OCD can make a significant difference in your recovery. By reading self-help books, you can increase your understanding of how OCD works, feel less alone, and learn helpful strategies to deal with OCD.
We've curated a list of some of our favorite books that have been incredibly helpful for many on their journey with anxiety or OCD.
These recommendations range from treatment strategies to memoirs that include various approaches and offer practical strategies to help you manage anxiety or OCD more effectively.
These are not affiliate links, just ones we think are great.
-
The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living by Russ Harris
Worrying is Optional
Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks by Barry McDonagh
The Complete Guide to Overcoming Health Anxiety: How to Live Life to the Fullest...Because You're Not Dead (Yet) by Dr. Josh Spitalnick and Michael Stier
The Emetophobia Manual: Free Yourself from the Fear of Vomit and Reclaim Your Life by Ken Goodman
-
Freedom from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder by Jonathan Grayson, PhD
The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD by Jon Hershfield, MFT
Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts by Sally Winston, PsyD
ACT Workbook for OCD by Marisa Mazza, PsyD
The Imp of the Mind: Exploring the Silent Epidemic of Obsessive Bad Thoughts by Lee Baer
Pure OCD: The Invisible Side of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder by Chrissie Hodges
Relationship OCD: A CBT-Based Guide to Move Beyond Obssesive Doubt, Anxiety, and Fear of Commitment in Romantic Relationships by Sheva Rajaee, MFT
-
What to Do When You Worry Too Much by Dawn Huebner, PhD
Be sure to check out her other books!
Wilma Jean the Worry Machine by Julia Cook
Outsmarting Worry (An Older Kid's Guide to Managing Anxiety) by Dawn Huebner
What to Do When Your Brain Gets Stuck: A Kid's Guide to Overcoming OCD by Dawn Huebner
-
When a Family Member Has OCD: Mindfulness and Cognitive Behavioral Skills to Help Families Affected by OCD by Jon Hershfield
The Family Guide to Getting Over OCD by Jonathan Abramowitz
Breaking Free of Child Anxiety and OCD by Eli Lebowitz
When A Loved One Won't Seek Mental Health Treatment by Alec Pollard, PhD
Anxious Kids, Anxious Parents: 7 Ways to Stop the Worry Cycle and Raise Courageous and Independent Children by Reid Wilson and Lynn Lyons
Whether you're dealing with OCD yourself, supporting a loved one, or helping children and teens navigate their anxiety, these books offer practical tools to help you or your loved ones manage OCD and anxiety more effectively.
Remember, the journey through OCD and anxiety can be challenging, but with the right resources and support, it gets easier. Don't give up!
Written by Jenny Matthews, LMFT, LADC
Jenny is a therapist that specializes in helping over-thinkers and worriers get relief from anxiety so they can be more productive + do what matters + be present with their loved ones.
Share On:
Ready to work with an anxiety therapist?
State of Mind Therapy in Bloomington can help. Click the button below to sign-up for your free 15 minute phone consultation today.
Related Articles
What's Your Why?
Have you ever felt paralyzed by fear, unable to take that first step forward?
Maybe it's the thought of boarding a plane or facing a crowded room. Whatever it is, I get it. But here's the thing: it's time to kick fear to the curb and live a bigger, bolder life.
What if you could start booking flights without starting to overthink about all the things that could go wrong?
Or go to a party without planning your exit?
If you notice a nagging thought that says “that’ll never happen for me” or “it’s not worth it” then it’s time to start working on your motivation.
Lets face it. Change isn’t easy. And you can probably get by for awhile without doing anything about it. But eventually life smacks you in the face and you can’t keep ignoring it.
Maybe that’s the day you get a call where you HAVE to fly because your job depends on it, or your bff is getting married. Or you need to attend a funeral of a loved one.
And then you are faced with letting this fear take over and cause you to miss out. Or you panic the entire way there.
Don’t wait until you HAVE to change.
If you wait to until you have to fly, or go to a wedding, or whatever, to start working on your fear then you will not have enough time to learn the skills you need to.
Start now. Give yourself one year to really invest in yourself so that you can spend the rest of your life unleashed from the fear monster.
Take a moment to picture your future. What does it look like when fear no longer holds you back? Can you see yourself boarding that plane, heart pounding but head held high? It's a powerful image, isn't it?
And what will your life look like one year from now if you continue to let fear and anxiety control your actions and decisions?
What if you chose to spend the next year investing in learning how to overcome your fear? Where could that take you? How would that impact your loved ones?
If you need help facing your fear, get professional support. You’re not the only one going through this and anxiety is treatable.
Not sure where to start? Grab our Live More, Worry Less Guide to start learning more about the top 5 strategies we teach our clients everyday.
Follow-Us on Social
Find Your Peace: Crafting Your Own Coping Card
If you're grappling with anxiety, managing it in the moment can feel like an uphill battle, even if you've learned practical strategies. When the fight or flight response kicks in, rational thinking often goes out the window, leaving you feeling paralyzed and unable to make clear decisions. It's challenging to make the right choices for handling anxiety amidst the chaos.
That's where coping cards come in. These portable tools serve as concrete reminders of coping strategies, eliminating the need to think on the spot or recall information in high-anxiety situations. They pave the path of least resistance, guiding you through moments of heightened anxiety with ease.
Creating a coping card is simple and flexible. It can take any format that suits you best—whether it's a physical note card, in your phone’s note app, or even a photo of a card you've designed. The key is to make it personalized and accessible. You want your coping card to be readily available wherever and whenever you need it most.
So consider where you might need the coping card. On the go? In the bathroom while you’re getting ready? On your nightstand? Put it in a place where you won’t miss it. And better yet, consider having it placed in multiple places.
How to Create Your Coping Card
To craft your coping card, focus on simplicity and clarity. Divide it into a few key sections to avoid overwhelming yourself. Start by identifying unhelpful strategies you want to avoid, such as avoidance behaviors, reassurance seeking, or excessive googling.
Next, create a section to jot down a few helpful coping statements—simple phrases you can repeat to yourself in the heat of the moment, like "This feeling will pass" or "I can allow this feeling to be here without judgment."
Next, outline effective strategies you can take immediate action on. This might include deep breathing exercises, guided meditations, or simple distractions to redirect your focus. Consider adding a motivational quote or inspirational message to uplift and inspire you. And if it resonates with you, include factual reminders to ground yourself in reality, such as "panic attacks are not harmful.”
If you're hesitant about the effectiveness of coping cards, I encourage you to give them a try. While they're not a magical solution, they serve as valuable reminders of what to do when anxiety overwhelms your ability to respond effectively. With practice, you can build resilience and strength over time, gradually reclaiming control over your anxiety.
Remember, anxiety may be powerful, but you have the power to cultivate resilience and navigate through it with the help of practical tools like coping cards.
Need More Help with Anxiety?
At State of Mind Therapy, our team specializes in helping people overcome the burden of anxiety and OCD. With evidence-based techniques and compassionate guidance, we can help you regain control of your thoughts and live a more fulfilling life.
If you found these tips helpful, sign-up for our free guide: 5 Steps to Live More, Worry Less for more helpful strategies for managing anxiety.
Follow-Us on Social
Managing Anxiety in the Morning: Strategies for Starting Your Day on a Positive Note
Do you ever find yourself struggling with morning anxiety? It might feel like from the moment you wake up that anxiety is right there waiting for you.
It can be overwhelming, and even debilitating, and can cast a shadow over the day ahead before it's even begun. This feeling of dread can be accompanied by a flood of what if thoughts, making it challenging to leave the comfort of your bed.
Why is Anxiety Worse in the Morning?
So, why does this happen? Well, biologically, your body releases cortisol in the morning to help you wake up and face the day. If you deal with anxiety or panic, you have higher levels of cortisol in the morning. This means you have more sensitivity to any physical symptoms of anxiety, leading to a cascade of "what if" scenarios and heightened fear.
If you struggle with fearing anxiety symptoms, then you may get wrapped up into ruminating about this anxiety or scanning your body for signs of problems. And this only makes the problem worse.
Ruminating, body scanning, or avoiding only tells your brain that the anxiety symptoms you are experiencing are problematic or even dangerous.
And when your brain gets the message that there is danger, then it will keep giving you anxiety because it is trying to protect you. But you now know where the morning anxiety is coming from and that is not harmful, even though it’s very uncomfortable.
So morning anxiety, while distressing, is not a sign of impending danger. It's merely a misinterpretation of your body's normal physiological reactions. Understanding this can be the first step towards reclaiming control over your mornings.
Getting Relief From Morning Anxiety
Unfortunately, there's no quick fix for morning anxiety. It takes time to rewire your brain and stop reacting to it with fear. Instead of trying to make it disappear instantly, your goal should be to become less afraid of the symptoms themselves.
One strategy is to acknowledge that morning anxiety is a normal and safe physiological experience. Do not assume that this anxiety will dictate how the rest of your day will unfold. Remind yourself that this feeling will pass, and try not to give in to catastrophic thinking.
The worst thing you can do is stay in bed and ruminate about this. Get out of bed right away and engage in your morning routine. When you find yourself catastrophizing about the rest of the day, take that as a cue to slow down, focus on one task at a time. It might sound like “ok I’m putting my feet on the floor now. Next I’m going to turn the water on.”
By gradually exposing yourself to the discomfort of morning anxiety without giving in to ruminating, body checking, or avoiding, you can teach your brain that it's not something to be alarmed about. Over time, this can lead to a reduction in overall sensitivity to these symptoms, allowing you to greet each day with greater resilience and calmness.
So, the next time you wake up feeling anxious, remember: it's okay to feel uncomfortable, but it's not a signal of impending danger.
Take it one step at a time, and trust that you have the strength to overcome this challenge. With patience and perseverance, you can learn to manage morning anxiety and reclaim your mornings.
Need More Help with Anxiety?
At State of Mind Therapy, our team specializes in helping people overcome the burden of anxiety and OCD. With evidence-based techniques and compassionate guidance, we can help you regain control of your thoughts and live a more fulfilling life.
If you found these tips helpful, sign-up for our free guide: 5 Steps to Live More, Worry Less for more helpful strategies for managing anxiety.
Follow-Us on Social
5 Practical Tips to Escape the Overthinking Trap
Do you ever feel like your mind is stuck in a whirlwind of doubts and uncertainties, unable to find its way out? Overthinking can feel like being trapped on a never-ending freeway, draining your mental energy and leaving you exhausted.
But there's good news – you can break free from the overthinking trap. Here are five practical tips to help you regain control and find peace of mind:
1. Recognize the Signs:
The first step to overcoming overthinking is to recognize when you're caught in its grip. Pause and ask yourself:
What is bothering me the most about this?
What am I trying to achieve by obsessing over this?
By identifying these questions, you can gain clarity and determine whether the issue is within your control.
2. Take Action or Let Go:
If the issue is within your control, identify actionable steps to address it. Seize the opportunity to take charge and make a plan. However, if the source of your overthinking is beyond your control, acknowledge it. For example, “I want to know what my coworkers are thinking of me, but I have no control over this.” Acceptance allows you to let go of the need to solve everything and sit with the discomfort.
3. Adjust Your Attitude:
Remember, while you may not be able to control every situation, you can control your attitude and response to it. Shift your focus from trying to control external factors to managing your internal reactions. For example, “I don’t have to like this, but I can allow this to be here.”
4. Break the Cycle:
Overthinking often follows a pattern. When you notice yourself spiraling, acknowledge it by saying, “Here is overthinking again.” While this won’t immediately stop the overthinking, it empowers you to choose a different path.
5. Practice Mindfulness:
Mindfulness can help you become more aware of your thoughts and redirect your focus to the present moment. Start small with consistent daily practice, even if only for a few minutes at a time. There are many mindfulness apps available to support you with learning mindfulness.
You can learn how get out of the overthinking trap and reclaim your peace of mind. Take these practical steps today to live a more fulfilling life.
Need More Help with Anxiety?
At State of Mind Therapy, our team specializes in helping individuals like you overcome the burden of overthinking. With evidence-based techniques and compassionate guidance, we can help you regain control of your thoughts and live a more fulfilling life.
If you need additional help with overthinking, schedule a free consultation with one of our therapists today. You deserve peace of mind and we're here to help.
Parent Tips on Navigating Reassurance Seeking With Your Anxious Child
Your child comes to you with anxious thoughts swirling in their mind, seeking reassurance for the hundredth time this week...
….”do you think this will make me sick? Are you sure?”
….”I made a mistake today…do you think I’m a bad person? Will other people think I’m a bad person?”
…”Are you sure?”
…”Are you sure?”
Sound familiar?
We all need reassurance at times. but when it comes to anxiety disorders, it can be really unproductive. But as a parent, you feel like your hands are tied. You don’t want to keep answering these questions, but it feels impossible to stop.
Constantly reassuring your anxious kiddo might actually make their anxiety worse in the long run.
What!?
When we reassure our kids too much, it can inadvertently teach them that they need constant reassurance to feel okay. Plus, it doesn't really help them learn to cope with their worries on their own.
So I put together a free mini training video to show you step-by-step how I teach my clients how to stop reassurance seeking patterns.
Conquer the Sunday Scaries: 6 Game-Changing Tips for a Stress-Free Weekend
You know that sinking feeling all too well—the weekend's winding down, and Monday is right around the corner. And you are absolutely dreading it.
The thought of a full week of work ahead feels overwhelming, doesn't it? You can’t help but wonder what happened over the weekend that you'll have to tackle on Monday.
The uncertainty of the week ahead can leave you spiraling.
You wish you could just turn it off. The weight of the week ahead is robbing your joy on Sunday.If you crave a sense of calm on Sundays, then check out these tips.
1. Plan Ahead: Carve out 30 minutes at the end of the workday on Friday to make your to-do list for the next week. By looking at what’s on the schedule for the week ahead ahead of time, you're proactively addressing tasks and reducing the mental load that typically plagues Sundays.
Make it part of your end-of-the-week plan so you can spend less time thinking about it on Sunday and step into Sunday with clarity and a fresh start knowing exactly what you'll be focusing on that week.
2. Find Joy in Mondays: Can you find a way to look forward to Monday? Maybe pick-up a Vanilla Latte from Starbucks or go out to lunch with a coworker. Schedule after-work activities like book club or pickleball on Mondays to help you look forward to something after work.
3. Change Up Your Sunday Routine: Many people wait until Sundays to do their weekly chores like laundry and get groceries. This can make Sunday feel like less of a “fun day” and leave you feeling overwhelmed with things to do instead of enjoying the day for relaxation.
So make a tweak in your week and change up grocery shopping day to Wednesday or some other day in the week so it’s not all piled up on the weekend.
4. Embrace Sunday as a Fun Day: Live your Sunday like it's a Saturday. Sometimes, we have the mindset that we can’t do fun things on Sunday because we need to “get ready for the week.” But what if we allowed ourselves to enjoy Sunday like Saturday? Sometimes we unintentionally trap ourselves by telling ourselves we need to be home early that day. But who says you have to?
5. Put Yourself First: If you're worrying about the tasks at work you'll be returning to, practice reminding yourself that your life is bigger and more important than work. You are more than your job and you deserve all the time off you get.
Putting yourself first means enjoying your Sunday and not letting work infiltrate your limited free time. The work will be there for you tomorrow.
6. Incorporate Mindfulness: If you find it hard to stop thinking about work, try incorporating mindfulness into your daily routine. Mindfulness is like exercise for your brain to help you stay in the present moment.
It’s normal for minds to drift, but mindfulness will help you become more aware of when that happens and be able to redirect your attention back to the present moment.
So if you’re tired of letting the Sunday scaries dictate your mood and productivity, pick 1-2 of the tips from this blog and put them into action.
Need more tips on handling anxiety? Check out our Live More, Worry Less guide for 5 of our favorite strategies to get relief from anxiety.
Navigating Anxiety During the Holidays
We all know the festive season can be a rollercoaster of emotions. If you're dealing with anxiety or OCD, those ups and downs can feel even more intense.
Making decisions about gifts, overthinking conversations, or dealing with fears around contamination—it's a lot to juggle. But remember, you're the boss of your life, and I've got some practical tips to help you get through this holiday season.
Know Your Triggers:
Let's get real—family gatherings can be a minefield of triggers. Whether it's a touchy topic or Aunt Susan's infamous political discussions, it's crucial to be aware of what might set you off. Take a moment to reflect on situations that make you uneasy. Will any of these pop up during the holidays? Knowing your triggers is your secret weapon.
How to Respond to Uncomfortable Questions:
Ever been in that awkward spot where you want to keep things private but also not brush them off entirely? I hear you. Here are responses that strike that perfect balance:
Lets say you’ve been have fertility challenges, you could respond with "we're figuring out the unexpected challenges of starting a family. Tough, but we're on the path to figuring things out."
If you have food-related fears, like emetophobia or fear of contamination, you could say something like "I've been extra cautious about what I eat lately, and it's not something I'm comfortable discussing in detail. But thanks for the fantastic spread! I'm focusing on enjoying the company and the festive atmosphere."
Be Mindful in the Moment:
When anxiety knocks, ground yourself. Slow down and name the feeling. Say to yourself, "here is anxiety." Remember, it's just a sensation—it will pass. Redirect your attention by engaging in an activity. Play with the kids or help with the dishes. If things get overwhelming, excuse yourself for a few minutes and pop on a 5-minute mindfulness meditation to guide you through it.
Have an Exit Strategy:
If you're worried your anxiety might hit a peak, have a few exit strategies ready. While avoidance isn't a long-term solution, it's okay to make short-term accommodations for yourself. Challenge yourself to stay in the situation, reminding yourself that discomfort is not danger.
You've got this! With a little self-awareness and these practical tips, you're equipped to navigate the holiday season like a pro. Remember, you're the boss of your life, not anxiety. Wishing you a season filled with joy, understanding, and moments of calm.
Stay Ahead of the Season: Winter-Proofing Your Mental Health in Minnesota
Winter is fast approaching, and for those of us living in Minnesota, it means shorter days, chilly temperatures, and snow-covered landscapes. However, if you're dealing with anxiety and OCD, this change of seasons can bring its own unique challenges. But fear not! With careful planning, practical advice, and a positive mindset, you can effectively address these winter-related issues
Common Challenges and Solutions
Reduced Sunlight
Minnesota winters are known for their shorter daylight hours, which can have an impact on our mood and exacerbate our symptoms. Here's how to deal with this lack of sunlight...
1. Light Therapy: Consider using a light therapy lamp to simulate natural sunlight exposure. This can be especially helpful in managing Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD).
2. Spend Time Outdoors: Make a conscious effort to spend time outdoors during daylight hours, even when it's cold. A brisk walk in a local park or along the Mississippi River can provide a much-needed dose of natural light.
3. Vitamin D Supplements: Talk to your doctor about taking vitamin D supplements to address deficiencies that often occur during the winter months. You may be surprised to find out that we need a higher dose of Vitamin D than you think.
Increased Isolation
Winter often makes us want to stay indoors, but that doesn't mean you have to become a hermit. Keep your connections strong and find engaging indoor activities.
1. Stay Connected: Many people in the winter season will just surrender to the idea of staying indoors and seeing people less. You may need to make an extra effort to get outside of yourself and amongst friends and family so that you do not have long periods of isolation. This is especially important if you are single and/or work remotely. One of my favorite things to do is schedule a rotating dinner and game night with friends. No cooking and hanging out with friends? That’s a win-win in my book.
2. Engage in Hobbies: Pursue indoor hobbies or activities that you enjoy to keep your mind engaged and prevent feelings of loneliness. Check out Groupon, your local Community Education Classes, or join a book club. Something I have liked doing is making a “winter bucket list” of projects and activities I want to do in the winter. This way if I get into a rut I can easily find something to do. I think it’s essential to not only find places to go outside your house, but things you can do at home that are new hobbies or interests.
3. Seek Support: Joining a local support group for individuals with anxiety or OCD can provide a sense of belonging and understanding. Minneapolis offers various support groups that meet in person or virtually.
Holiday Stress
The holiday season can bring joy, but it can also come with its own set of stressors. So, how can you enjoy the holidays while minimizing stress?
1. Plan and Prioritize: The holidays are not always full of joy. It can be a time of busyness where you feel you have to “do all the things” or see people you don’t want to. Create a realistic holiday plan that sets clear priorities and boundaries to reduce stress and avoid overcommitment. It’s ok to say no.
2. Practice Self-Care: Prioritize self-care during the holidays by incorporating relaxation techniques, exercise, and healthy eating into your routine. If you belong to a gym, spend some in the hot tub or sauna for warmth and relaxation.
3. Seek Professional Help: If holiday stress becomes overwhelming, don't hesitate to reach out to a therapist or counselor in Minneapolis who specializes in anxiety and OCD for support and coping strategies.
Changes in Routine
Winter disrupts our daily routines, which can sometimes lead to mental health challenges. But you can adapt more easily with a seasonal routine..
1. Create a Winter Routine: It’s so hard to switch from doing activities outside to being inside most often. It can create a disruption to routines you had. Change can be a catalyst for relapse into mental health struggles. But by having a routine for each season it can help you adjust more easily. For instance, in the summer months, my workout routine is not in a gym because I like to maximize my time spent outdoors. So when winter rolls around, I actually look forward to getting back into the routine of the gym classes I like.
2. Schedule events: In the dark, cold winter months, it can feel like there isn’t as much going on. And if you struggle with anxiety or depression, you may find yourself feeling lonely or comparing yourself to others on social media more often. Make sure you have plans with someone to do something that you enjoy at least once per week. Having things on the calendar can help you to look forward to something even if you are struggling with your mental health.
Illness and Infections
Winter is often associated with illness season, and concerns about illness can be anxiety-inducing. Even if you aren’t worried about getting sick, when you are sick, it makes it really hard to practice good self-care because your battery is half full just from fighting a virus.
1. Practice Good Hygiene and Maintain a Healthy Lifestyle: Eat a balanced diet, exercise regularly, and get adequate sleep to bolster your immune system. If you don’t manage stress and anxiety well, it can also make you prone to illness, so be sure to use good self-care as well.
2. Work with a Therapist: If you have health anxiety, emetophobia, or OCD, then illness season can be a really triggering time of year. Be sure you are working with a therapist that can help you navigate these challenges.
Financial Pressures
The holiday season can be financially demanding, but there are ways to manage your budget wisely.
1. Budget Planning: Create a budget for holiday spending and stick to it. I love going to all the different holiday markets in Minneapolis where you can find unique gifts (while supporting small businesses). Communicate your expectations around gift giving with loved ones in advance so that you can say goodbye to guilt for cutting back on gifts.
2. Consider Homemade Gifts: Explore creative, cost-effective gift-giving ideas, like homemade gifts, to reduce financial burdens. Minneapolis's arts and crafts stores can be your go-to for crafting supplies.
Travel Anxiety
Whether you're hitting the road in wintery conditions or dread flying, don't let anxiety hold you back. Here's your roadmap to handling anxiety while traveling…
1. Plan Ahead: If you have to commute often, even in poor weather conditions, make sure you are prepared with emergency items, good winter tires. If you worry about how to drive in the snow or ice, practice in an empty parking lot to boost your confidence and skills :)
2. Seek out resources for flight anxiety: If you are flying this winter season and you have anxiety about flying, you may find yourself struggling to look forward to the trip. Leaving you feeling more irritable and anxious. You can learn how to manage anxiety with some of the resources we offer here.
Limited Outdoor Activities
The colder months can make you feel cooped up. Make a plan to stay active and engaged, even when outdoor options are limited
1. Indoor Exercise: Incorporate indoor exercise routines, such as yoga or home workouts, to stay active and reduce restlessness.
2. Explore Indoor Interests: Discover indoor hobbies or interests you can engage in during the winter months. One of my favorite things to do is visit places in the Twin Cities that are indoors but have a lot of natural light, like Mall of America. Or visiting the MN Zoo is a great way to feel humidity (I never thought I would miss it) even on the coldest days.
Cold and Dark Environments: Brighten Your Space
Don't let the winter gloom take over your living space. Learn how to create a warm and inviting atmosphere in your home.
1. Use Bright Lighting: Increase the lighting in your home to create a brighter, more uplifting atmosphere. I especially like festive lights or candles to get a change of environment.
2. Decorate with Warm Colors: Decorate your living spaces with warm, inviting colors to counter the gloomy environment. I’m guilty of getting some new home decor at Target or Home Decors just to freshen up my space. Keep your other decor if you like and just swap it out around the holidays. It’s a great way to fall in love with your space throughout the year.
As we wrap up, remember, winter can present its own set of challenges, especially in Minnesota. However, by taking a proactive approach, planning ahead, and harnessing your inner resilience, you can face the winter season with confidence and self-compassion. You're not alone on this journey; we're here to support you, whether you're in Minneapolis or connecting online. So, gear up, plan ahead, and embrace the winter months with determination. You've got this
Share On:
Ready to work with an anxiety therapist?
State of Mind Therapy in Bloomington can help. Click the button below to sign-up for your free 15 minute phone consultation today.