5 Questions to Ask Yourself as You Head Into a New Year With Anxiety or OCD
As the year winds down, many people living with anxiety or OCD feel a familiar pressure: “I should have made more progress by now.” Or, “Next year has to be different.”
But growth with anxiety and OCD doesn’t follow a neat, linear path. It’s often slow, subtle, and easy to overlook—especially when your brain is wired to pay more attention to the negatives.
That’s why taking time to pause, reflect, and actually notice what shifted this year matters. Not from a place of perfection or comparison, but from curiosity. From honesty. From a desire to understand yourself a little more clearly as you head into a new year.
Below are five questions we love asking clients this time of year. Think of them as an opportunity to reflect and recognize your progress and set intentional direction for what’s next.
1. What did I handle this year that would have felt impossible a year ago?
People often underestimate themselves because they’re comparing where they want to be—not where they started.
Maybe you took a flight, even if your anxiety was through the roof as you boarded the plane.
Maybe you ate at a restaurant despite the emetophobia monster whispering all kinds of worst-case scenarios in your head.
Maybe you went to work, made a phone call, or attended a family event even with intrusive thoughts swirling.
These might not feel “big enough,” but they’re often the exact moments where real change begins: doing something your anxiety insisted you couldn’t.
Ask yourself:
“What did I do this year that younger-me simply wasn’t ready for?”
You might surprise yourself with the answer.
2. How did I handle setbacks differently this year?
Setbacks are not evidence that you’re failing. They’re evidence that you’re human.
And one of the strongest markers of progress is not whether you had setbacks—it’s how you responded to them.
Maybe you bounced back faster.
Maybe you didn’t spiral as long.
Maybe you didn’t shame yourself as harshly.
Maybe you reached out for support instead of hiding.
Maybe you resumed an exposure after taking a break instead of quitting entirely.
These shifts are subtle but powerful.
They show resilience.
They show learning.
They show growth.
Ask yourself:
“Did I respond differently this year, even in small ways?”
3. What actually supported me this year (and what didn’t)?
Anxiety and OCD recovery involves a lot of trial and error. Some strategies help. Others… not so much.
Instead of guessing again next year, look at what you already learned:
What coping skills actually grounded you?
Which routines lowered your baseline stress?
What habits made things harder?
Who in your life energized you—and who drained you?
Did scrolling, Googling, or reassurance-seeking pull you deeper into anxiety?
Did therapy, exercise, mindfulness, or exposure work support you more than you realized?
This isn’t about criticizing yourself. It’s about gathering data so you can move into the new year with feeling proud of where you’ve come and getting clarity on what you want to work on the upcoming year.
Ask yourself:
“What helped me feel more like myself—and what made things made me feel worse?”
4. What do I want my relationship with anxiety or OCD to look like next year?
Notice the wording here. It’s not “How do I get rid of anxiety?” or “How do I stop having intrusive thoughts?”
Those aren’t goals—they’re unrealistic demands that set you up for frustration.
A better question is:
“How do I want to relate to anxiety when it shows up?”
Maybe next year you want to:
allow anxiety to be present without immediately responding
delay or reduce compulsions instead of doing them automatically
move toward things that matter even when the noise in your head is loud
practice accepting uncertainty a little more often
build the muscle of willingness, not perfection
Think about what you want your internal world to feel like—not just what you want to eliminate.
5. What’s one small, doable step I want to take in the new year?
Not five steps. Not a full plan. Just one step.
Growth happens by stacking small actions, not by trying to overhaul everything at once.
Your next step might be:
scheduling a therapy consult
joining a group
practicing one exposure a week
setting a limit on reassurance-seeking
building a simple mindfulness routine
reducing avoidance in one specific area
tracking your wins so you can actually see them
Choose a step that feels meaningful—but realistic. A step that nudges you forward without overwhelming you. A step your future self would look back on and say, “That made a difference.”
Looking Back, Then Looking Ahead
Reflection doesn’t erase the challenges of the year, and it doesn’t magically make anxiety disappear. But it can help you reclaim the narrative. It can help you see the small, steady ways you’re growing—even in moments that didn’t feel like growth at all.
Your progress counts.
Your effort counts.
Your resilience counts.
And the new year isn’t a pressure point.
It’s simply an invitation to move one step closer to the life you want—at your own pace.
If You’re Ready for Support in the New Year
If you’re ready to make 2026 a year of more peace, courage, and clarity, we’re here to help. Our therapists specialize in anxiety and OCD and offer:
cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)
exposure and response prevention (ERP)
acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT)
support for emetophobia, intrusive thoughts, fear of flying, and general anxiety (just to name a few)
You can get started with a free 15-minute phone consultation and explore whether therapy is the next step for you.
You don’t have to navigate 2026 overwhelmed or feeling alone. We’d love to support you as you take your next small, meaningful step.
Emetophobia and the Holidays: How to Move Through the Season Without Letting Fear Take Over
Many of the people we talk with in our sessions feel a mix of excitement and dread as the holidays approach. You want to enjoy the season. You want to make memories, show up for your kids, and be part of the joy. But if you live with emetophobia, this time of year brings a kind of pressure that other people don’t see.
For many, winter means sickness season.
It means more gatherings, more travel, shared meals, kids touching everything, and family members who don’t think twice about hygiene in the kitchen. It means your mind jumping ahead to every “what if.” And even if nothing is happening yet, it can feel like your anxiety is already two steps ahead of you.
So if your fear spikes this time of year (even if you feel like you’re spiraling at times) the holidays can still be meaningful. This season doesn’t have to be defined by anxiety, even when anxiety is loud.
What This Season Often Looks Like When You Have Emetophobia
You might notice your shoulders tense before you even arrive at a gathering. Maybe it’s the worry that someone’s kids were just sick, or the way your in-laws let little ones help cook without washing their hands.
Maybe it’s the fear that you’ll all get sick before the event and have to miss it — or that you’ll catch something while you’re there.
And once you’re home, your mind might keep spinning, wondering what germs were passed around and how long it will be before the next wave hits.
For some people with emetophobia, the fear becomes so consuming that the safest choice feels like not participating at all.
Some haven’t traveled home in years.
Some avoid gatherings they actually want to attend.
Some feel like their worry overshadows the joy their kids deserve.
And if you’ve ever gotten sick during the holidays or watched it happen to others, your brain stores that. It builds associations that sound like “this happened before, so it might happen again.”
That’s not a failure on your part. That’s how a fearful brain tries to prepare you: by imagining every worst-case scenario in advance.
But preparation and fear are not the same thing.
And fear doesn’t get to decide what this season means to you.
Something You May Need to Hear Right Now
You’ve gotten through so many winters already…including the hard ones.
Yes, maybe there was a year when your family was sick.
Maybe there was a trip that got derailed, or a holiday that felt stressful from start to finish.
But even then, you still made it through. You handled it. You adapted. You recovered.
Your fear will never give you credit for that — but you can.
It’s not about getting rid of fear altogether. It’s about reminding yourself that you’re capable, resourceful, and stronger than this fear wants you to believe.
You’ve proved that more times than you realize.
This Season Can Be an Opportunity — Even If It Doesn’t Feel Like One
Every holiday event you say yes to, every moment you show up for, every time you choose connection over avoidance — those are opportunities for exposure.
And with every exposure opportunity, you have a choice. You can choose to face it with a “bring it on” attitude or you can white knuckle your way through it.
But only one of those will actually move the needle in your recovery.
Instead of viewing this season as something you have to “survive,” you can choose to see it as:
an opportunity to be the parent or partner you want to be
a chance to reconnect with the parts of life you’ve missed
moments where you remind yourself you can tolerate discomfort
a step toward the life you want, not the life fear dictates
You don’t have to love every moment. You just need to keep moving toward the ones that matter.
Grounding Reminders for When Anxiety Gets Loud
1. No amount of worry will change the outcome.
You can think about every possible scenario and it still won’t give you more control.
If something happens, you will handle it then — the same way you have handled difficult moments before.
2. Set boundaries with reassurance-seeking.
This means not asking people for details about their recent illnesses, their symptoms, or their kids’ timelines. When someone casually mentions that their child “was sick last week,” you don’t need to ask follow-up questions. More information doesn’t create more comfort — it usually creates more anxiety.
3. Choose intentional exposures that align with your values.
Not overwhelming ones — just deliberate steps like:
staying at an event a little longer than you planned
eating food someone else prepared
letting your kids participate without constant correction
choosing not to clean or sanitize something immediately
These moments add up and build confidence.
4. Stay connected to why you care.
Fear tries to make everything about risk.
But this time of year is also about joy, connection, family, tradition, and meaning. So try to remember that you’re moving toward something — not just away from fear.
5. Progress doesn’t mean the fear disappears.
Fear may still show up. Background anxiety may still buzz. That doesn’t mean you aren’t growing. The goal is to turn down the volume, not eliminate it entirely. You can feel afraid and still move forward.
If You Tend to Avoid This Time of Year
Avoidance is your nervous system’s way of protecting you — it’s trying to keep you safe in the only way it knows how.
But avoidance also has a cost.
It limits your life. It keeps you from the moments you actually want. It shrinks your world.
This season might be an opportunity to take one step — even a small one — back into the things you value.
You don’t need to overhaul your entire holiday.
You just need to take the next meaningful step.
You can do that.
You’ve done harder things.
You Get to Choose What This Season Means for You
Fear will always suggest the safest option is to shut down, stay home, or prepare for the worst. But you get to decide whether that’s the only story you want to live by.
You can feel afraid and still show up.
You can participate in moments that matter to you.
You can have a holiday season that isn’t ruled by worst-case scenarios.
And each time you take a step toward the life you want, fear loses just a little bit of its power.
Want Support This Season for Emetophobia?
If emetophobia makes winter and the holidays overwhelming, support is available. At State of Mind Therapy in Bloomington, we help people understand their fear, build confidence, and take meaningful steps toward the lives they want to live.
You can start with a free 15-minute phone consultation.
We also offer an Emetophobia Therapy Group for adult women, which has been especially helpful during this season.
Should I Cancel My Flight? How to Move Through Panic When Every Part of You Wants to Back Out
If you’ve ever sat in the airport parking lot with your heart pounding and your mind begging you to turn around, you’re not the only one who’s been there.
And if you’ve ever wondered, “Should I just cancel?” — that moment is one of the hardest parts of flight anxiety.
A lot of people describe that moment in different ways, but the theme is always the same:
not being able to walk through the airport doors, freezing at the gate, or getting right up to boarding and feeling like your body is shutting down.
By the time you reach the airport, you’ve often spent days or even weeks thinking about the flight, imagining everything that could go wrong, and trying to brace yourself for it. So when you’re standing in front of the place where it all becomes real, your fear response kicks into high gear.
In that moment, the thought “Should I cancel?” feels urgent, reasonable, and protective.
But that urge is not a sign… it’s fear doing exactly what fear does.
My goal in this blog is to help you understand why this moment feels so overwhelming and show you how to move forward even when every alarm in your body is going off.
Why Your Brain Pushes You to Cancel at the Last Minute
When something feels threatening — being trapped, losing control, having a panic attack in public, not being able to escape — the nervous system flips into protection mode.
Your heart races.
Your muscles tense.
Your mind starts scanning for exits.
Your body tries to get you out of what it believes is danger.
This is your fear response doing its job…but a little too intensely.
And because these sensations feel so big, it’s easy to interpret them as a warning:
“If I feel this panicked now, imagine how bad it’ll be on the plane.”
“I can’t handle this for hours.”
“This panic won’t stop unless I leave.”
These thoughts feel like truth, but they’re not danger signals…they’re fear signals.
And fear tends to be a very dramatic storyteller.
The Fear That Stops People: “If I get on the plane, this panic won’t stop.”
This is the belief that convinces most people to back out.
I’ve worked with many people who have made it all the way to the jet bridge, felt that surge of panic, and turned around at the last second. It’s such a painful moment for them…the panic response is one thing. But the shame and remorse that follows hurts just as much.
The fear says:
“If I stay, this panic is just going to keep rising until something terrible happens.”
But here’s the part your nervous system forgets:
Panic always peaks.
And panic always comes down.
Your body cannot stay at that level forever. It physically can’t.
It feels endless — but it’s temporary.
What actually prolongs the fear is escaping from it.
Every time you get out of the line, off the plane, or away from the airport, your brain learns:
“That was the right call. That really was dangerous.”
Which only makes the next attempt feel harder.
Why Anticipatory Anxiety Makes Everything Feel Impossible
One big reason this moment feels so intense is because your brain assumes that how you feel right now is exactly how you’ll feel the whole flight.
But anxious brains are terrible at predicting the future.
You might think:
“If I’m shaking now, I’ll lose it at 30,000 feet.”
“If I feel trapped here, I’ll feel ten times worse in the air.”
“If panic is rising, that means I can’t handle being up there.”
But none of that is based on what actually happens. It’s based on a feeling.
And most fearful flyers actually feel more anxious before the flight than during it.
Once the anticipation drops and the plane settles into the routine of the flight, the nervous system usually quiets down.
You won’t know what the flight feels like until you’re on it — and anticipation is rarely an accurate predictor.
Play the Tape Forward (This Is One of the Most Helpful Tools You Can Use)
When panic hits, your brain zooms in on this moment only — the sweating, the shaking, the dread.
But decisions made in panic rarely take you where you want to go.
This is where “playing the tape forward” becomes powerful.
So ask yourself this, if you fly, how will you feel later when you land?
Most people say they feel proud, relieved, lighter, more capable, more free.
Now ask yourself, if you cancel, how will you feel on the drive home and the days following?
Most people would say they would feel ashamed, regret, frustration, disappointment, feeling stuck, wishing they had tried harder.
Something I often tell clients is:
“If you’re going to feel miserable either way, you might as well feel miserable on the plane — and still get where you want to go.”
The discomfort of anticipation is temporary.
The regret of canceling lasts much longer.
“How Do I Actually Move Forward When I Feel Frozen?”
When fear spikes, your brain focuses on the future and how long and terrible the flying experience will be.
”I’ll be in the plane for hours!”….”the plane will be bumpy”….”I will be stuck in the plane for hours with no option to leave!”
That’s overwhelming.
Instead, come back to one simple question: “what is the next best step I can take?”
Not the whole flight.
Not the whole experience.
Just the next thing.
…Right now, the next best step is packing my bag.
…Right now, the next best step is getting in the car.
…Right now, the next best step is walking into the airport.
…Right now, the next best step is sitting at the gate.
…you get the idea.
Fear loses power when you focus on the next best thing.
You don’t need to be calm. You just need to keep moving.
Reclaiming Your Agency: This Is a Choice You’re Making
When you’re afraid of flying, it can make you feel powerless. Like you have no choice and are just stuck (and for hours).
But you’re not.
You bought the ticket.
You chose the trip.
You want what’s waiting for you on the other side.
So when your mind says, “You can’t do this,” remind yourself:
“I chose this. I want this. I’m doing this for me.”
You Don’t Need Certainty to Board the Plane
One of the biggest myths anxious flyers believe is:
“I have to feel ready before I can fly.”
But readiness rarely comes first.
Willingness comes first.
Confidence comes second.
You don’t need certainty.
You don’t need to erase fear.
You don’t need to predict how the flight will go.
You only need enough willingness to take the next step. And you’ve done things while afraid your whole life.
Imagine the Moment You Step Off the Plane
You’re tired.
You’re relieved.
You’re proud.
Your world just got bigger.
This version of you already exists — your fear just tries to hide them.
And that version of you is absolutely capable of this.
Take one small step toward that version of you today.
If You Want Support Before Your Flight
Our Fearful Flyers Blueprint gives you step-by-step tools to handle:
anticipatory anxiety
panic on the plane
fear of being trapped
fear of losing control
fear of physical sensations
It’s the support I wish every anxious flyer had before their next trip.
👉 Enroll in the Fearful Flyers Blueprint
(Get the tools, strategies, and confidence you need for your next flight.)
What If You Actually Wanted a Panic Attack? (Stay With Me...)
You’ve probably had that moment after a panic attack — heart racing, mind replaying everything, scanning for clues about what caused it.
Was it the caffeine? The lack of sleep? Maybe I’m coming down with something?
Your brain starts its investigation. And soon you are spiraling down the anxiety rabbit hole.
But here’s the trap: the more you monitor and try to prevent panic, the more your body stays on alert — waiting for the next wave.
That constant threat monitoring becomes its own kind of panic.
What if the real shift isn’t about prevention at all? What if you actually wanted it?
I know that sounds backwards….but stay with me.
When You Dare Panic to Show Up
Think about what happens when you stop trying to push something away and, instead, lean toward it.
What if you said, “Go ahead, anxiety. Give me your best shot.”
That single moment of daring can change everything.
Because you’re no longer acting like someone under threat — you’re calling panic’s bluff.
Because panic sounds convincing.
It tells you you’re in danger, that something terrible is about to happen, that your body (or mind) is spinning out of control.
But how many times has panic made those promises and not delivered?
How many times has it said, “You’re going to lose it,” only for you to still be going about your daily life and still in one piece?
The Wizard Behind the Curtain
Panic loves to act like the Great and Powerful Oz — with its loud and scary voice, flashing lights, and terrifying predictions.
But if you’ve ever seen The Wizard of Oz, you know how that story ends.
Dorothy (well to be fair, Toto did it first) finally pulls back the curtain, and what’s behind it?… a nervous man frantically pushing buttons, trying to look big and scary.
That’s anxiety. It yells, “You’re in danger!” and you start believing it — until you call its bluff. Until you stop running and say, “Go ahead. Show me what you’ve got.”
That’s when you realize the truth: there was never a real wizard.
Just your nervous system trying (and failing) to protect you with bad (or maybe they are pretty good) special effects.
Anxiety Is Full of It
Anxiety convinces you of all the worst possibilities, but its track record is terrible.
It swears your heart racing means a heart attack….but has it? It insists you’ll lose control — but have you?
It tells you the panic will never end — but did it?
When you start meeting those sensations with defiance and willingness instead of fear, the power dynamic flips.
You go from “Oh no, it’s happening” to “Oh good, there it is. Let’s see what you’ve got.”
You might even add a little humor:
“Nice try, anxiety. You said the same thing yesterday, give it to me again.”
How to Stand Up to the Bully
I’m not here to promise that you can intimidate panic into leaving, but you can stop letting it run the show.
When you stop hiding, you stop feeding it.
Try this mindset next time you get scared of your panic or anxiety sensations:
Heart racing? “Good — prove how strong you are.”
Stomach tight? “Bring it. I can handle discomfort.”
Thoughts spinning? “Say what you want, I’m still here.”
It’s not about liking the sensations — it’s about seeing through them.
Every time you practice that courage, you feel stronger. You start to expect the challenge — and you might even learn it’s not as bad as the Powerful Oz made it seem.
That’s how panic and anxiety lose their power
Not because it disappears, but because it no longer stops you.
The Freedom That Follows
When you stop trying to control panic, you start getting your life back.
You show up to the things you used to avoid. You stop spending your days on “what if” patrol. And you finally realize that taking back your life starts with shifting how you think about anxiety in the first place.
If you’re ready to stop letting the anxiety boss you around and start calling its bluff, we can help.
👉 Schedule your free 15-minute phone consultation to get started with one of our therapists.
5 Ways to Catch Yourself Ruminating (and What to Do Instead)
You’ve probably said it before: “I just can’t shut my brain off.”
Maybe it’s endless what-ifs about the future. Or replaying a past conversation on repeat. Or mentally checking and reviewing to confirm you “didn’t do something wrong.”
Whatever the flavor, rumination can feel like being trapped on a Ferris wheel that never stops spinning, or like trying to solve a puzzle where none of the pieces actually fit.
The tricky part? Rumination often feels productive. Clients tell us all the time, “I’m just trying to figure it out,” or “if I keep thinking about it, maybe I’ll finally feel certain.” But instead of helping, rumination keeps you stuck in anxiety and OCD.
The good news: with awareness and practice, you can step off the ferris wheel. Here are five ways to catch yourself ruminating (and what to do instead).
1. Label Rumination for What It Is
Many people say, “I’m just worrying” or “I’m overthinking.” But in reality, they’re ruminating.
Here’s the difference:
Obsessions show up automatically (you don’t control the thought about germs, your health, or whether you made a mistake).
Rumination is what happens next—when you engage with the thought by mentally reviewing, analyzing, or checking.
Think of rumination like opening the door to an unwanted visitor. The thought will always knock. But whether you invite it in and serve it tea—that’s rumination.
Try this: The next time you notice yourself spinning on a thought, gently label it: “This is rumination.” Naming it helps you create distance and makes it easier to choose a different response.
2. Notice Your Attention vs. Awareness
Here’s a simple way to think about it:
Awareness is what’s in the background (like noticing the sound of traffic outside or the feeling of your feet on the floor).
Attention is what you choose to focus on (like reading these words).
Rumination hijacks your attention, pulling you deeper into the spin. Many people don’t realize how much their anxiety symptoms are maintained by where they’re directing attention—not just by the content of their thoughts.
Try this: Practice asking yourself: “Where is my attention right now?” If it’s locked on an intrusive thought, gently shift it. Redirecting your attention is like exercising a muscle…the more you do it, the stronger it gets.
3. Pause at the Choice Point
When a thought or fear shows up, you arrive at what we call the choice point.
You have two options:
Engage with the thought (and keep ruminating), or
Acknowledge it and redirect your attention elsewhere.
This doesn’t mean ignoring the thought. It means noticing it without feeding it.
Try this next time:
Acknowledge the thought: “I’m noticing the urge to figure this out.”
Allow the feeling with compassion, even if it’s uncomfortable.
Redirect your attention to something else—reading, working, or simply breathing.
Let the thought hang out in your awareness without needing to solve it.
The more you practice acknowledging you have a choice, the more you train your brain that you don’t have to follow every thought down the rabbit hole.
4. Watch Out for Mental Compulsions in Disguise
Rumination isn’t always obvious. Sometimes it shows up in sneaky ways:
Positive self-talk (“I’ll be okay”)
Excessive prayer or repeating phrases
Googling symptoms or searching for reassurance
Replaying a moment to “make sure” nothing bad happened
These behaviors feel like problem-solving, but they only strengthen anxiety and OCD.
Try this: If you catch yourself doing one of these, pause and ask: “Am I ruminating right now, even if it looks helpful?” Awareness is a critical first step in helping you make a different choice.
5. Give Yourself Permission to Slip Up
Here’s the truth: breaking free from rumination isn’t about being perfect. You will slip up—and that’s okay!
Noticing and interrupting rumination is hard work. But every time you catch it and redirect your attention, you’re strengthening mental flexibility. Over time, the urge to ruminate loses its grip.
Try this: When you catch yourself mid-rumination, instead of criticizing yourself, say: “There’s ruminating again. Let’s try redirecting.” Compassion makes the practice sustainable.
Putting It Into Practice
Breaking free from rumination isn’t about shutting off your brain (if only it were that east, right?)….it’s about learning to step off the ferris wheel.
With practice, your “attention muscle” gets stronger, your anxiety symptoms lighten, and exposure to your triggers becomes less overwhelming. Many of our clients notice real changes within just a few days of practicing consistently.
If rumination has been keeping you stuck, you don’t have to figure it out alone. Our therapists at State of Mind Therapy specialize in helping adults with anxiety and OCD build practical tools to break free from unhelpful thought loops.
👉 Schedule your free 15-minute phone consultation today and take the first step off the mental Ferris wheel.
[VIDEO] What You Need to Know About PANDAS/PANS?
In this video, you will learn:
-What is PANDAS/PANS?
-How PANDAS/PANS is diagnosed
-The difference between PANDAS or OCD
-Treating PANDAS/PANS medically and with psychotherapy
-Treating PANDAS/PANS with CBT and ERP (exposure and response prevention)
-Supporting families
Find an OCD Therapist at www.iocdf.org
Learn more about PANDAS/PANS at www.pandasnetwork.org