Emetophobia and the Holidays: How to Move Through the Season Without Letting Fear Take Over
Many of the people we talk with in our sessions feel a mix of excitement and dread as the holidays approach. You want to enjoy the season. You want to make memories, show up for your kids, and be part of the joy. But if you live with emetophobia, this time of year brings a kind of pressure that other people don’t see.
For many, winter means sickness season.
It means more gatherings, more travel, shared meals, kids touching everything, and family members who don’t think twice about hygiene in the kitchen. It means your mind jumping ahead to every “what if.” And even if nothing is happening yet, it can feel like your anxiety is already two steps ahead of you.
So if your fear spikes this time of year (even if you feel like you’re spiraling at times) the holidays can still be meaningful. This season doesn’t have to be defined by anxiety, even when anxiety is loud.
What This Season Often Looks Like When You Have Emetophobia
You might notice your shoulders tense before you even arrive at a gathering. Maybe it’s the worry that someone’s kids were just sick, or the way your in-laws let little ones help cook without washing their hands.
Maybe it’s the fear that you’ll all get sick before the event and have to miss it — or that you’ll catch something while you’re there.
And once you’re home, your mind might keep spinning, wondering what germs were passed around and how long it will be before the next wave hits.
For some people with emetophobia, the fear becomes so consuming that the safest choice feels like not participating at all.
Some haven’t traveled home in years.
Some avoid gatherings they actually want to attend.
Some feel like their worry overshadows the joy their kids deserve.
And if you’ve ever gotten sick during the holidays or watched it happen to others, your brain stores that. It builds associations that sound like “this happened before, so it might happen again.”
That’s not a failure on your part. That’s how a fearful brain tries to prepare you: by imagining every worst-case scenario in advance.
But preparation and fear are not the same thing.
And fear doesn’t get to decide what this season means to you.
Something You May Need to Hear Right Now
You’ve gotten through so many winters already…including the hard ones.
Yes, maybe there was a year when your family was sick.
Maybe there was a trip that got derailed, or a holiday that felt stressful from start to finish.
But even then, you still made it through. You handled it. You adapted. You recovered.
Your fear will never give you credit for that — but you can.
It’s not about getting rid of fear altogether. It’s about reminding yourself that you’re capable, resourceful, and stronger than this fear wants you to believe.
You’ve proved that more times than you realize.
This Season Can Be an Opportunity — Even If It Doesn’t Feel Like One
Every holiday event you say yes to, every moment you show up for, every time you choose connection over avoidance — those are opportunities for exposure.
And with every exposure opportunity, you have a choice. You can choose to face it with a “bring it on” attitude or you can white knuckle your way through it.
But only one of those will actually move the needle in your recovery.
Instead of viewing this season as something you have to “survive,” you can choose to see it as:
an opportunity to be the parent or partner you want to be
a chance to reconnect with the parts of life you’ve missed
moments where you remind yourself you can tolerate discomfort
a step toward the life you want, not the life fear dictates
You don’t have to love every moment. You just need to keep moving toward the ones that matter.
Grounding Reminders for When Anxiety Gets Loud
1. No amount of worry will change the outcome.
You can think about every possible scenario and it still won’t give you more control.
If something happens, you will handle it then — the same way you have handled difficult moments before.
2. Set boundaries with reassurance-seeking.
This means not asking people for details about their recent illnesses, their symptoms, or their kids’ timelines. When someone casually mentions that their child “was sick last week,” you don’t need to ask follow-up questions. More information doesn’t create more comfort — it usually creates more anxiety.
3. Choose intentional exposures that align with your values.
Not overwhelming ones — just deliberate steps like:
staying at an event a little longer than you planned
eating food someone else prepared
letting your kids participate without constant correction
choosing not to clean or sanitize something immediately
These moments add up and build confidence.
4. Stay connected to why you care.
Fear tries to make everything about risk.
But this time of year is also about joy, connection, family, tradition, and meaning. So try to remember that you’re moving toward something — not just away from fear.
5. Progress doesn’t mean the fear disappears.
Fear may still show up. Background anxiety may still buzz. That doesn’t mean you aren’t growing. The goal is to turn down the volume, not eliminate it entirely. You can feel afraid and still move forward.
If You Tend to Avoid This Time of Year
Avoidance is your nervous system’s way of protecting you — it’s trying to keep you safe in the only way it knows how.
But avoidance also has a cost.
It limits your life. It keeps you from the moments you actually want. It shrinks your world.
This season might be an opportunity to take one step — even a small one — back into the things you value.
You don’t need to overhaul your entire holiday.
You just need to take the next meaningful step.
You can do that.
You’ve done harder things.
You Get to Choose What This Season Means for You
Fear will always suggest the safest option is to shut down, stay home, or prepare for the worst. But you get to decide whether that’s the only story you want to live by.
You can feel afraid and still show up.
You can participate in moments that matter to you.
You can have a holiday season that isn’t ruled by worst-case scenarios.
And each time you take a step toward the life you want, fear loses just a little bit of its power.
Want Support This Season for Emetophobia?
If emetophobia makes winter and the holidays overwhelming, support is available. At State of Mind Therapy in Bloomington, we help people understand their fear, build confidence, and take meaningful steps toward the lives they want to live.
You can start with a free 15-minute phone consultation.
We also offer an Emetophobia Therapy Group for adult women, which has been especially helpful during this season.