Emetophobia and the Holidays: How to Move Through the Season Without Letting Fear Take Over
Many of the people we talk with in our sessions feel a mix of excitement and dread as the holidays approach. You want to enjoy the season. You want to make memories, show up for your kids, and be part of the joy. But if you live with emetophobia, this time of year brings a kind of pressure that other people don’t see.
For many, winter means sickness season.
It means more gatherings, more travel, shared meals, kids touching everything, and family members who don’t think twice about hygiene in the kitchen. It means your mind jumping ahead to every “what if.” And even if nothing is happening yet, it can feel like your anxiety is already two steps ahead of you.
So if your fear spikes this time of year (even if you feel like you’re spiraling at times) the holidays can still be meaningful. This season doesn’t have to be defined by anxiety, even when anxiety is loud.
What This Season Often Looks Like When You Have Emetophobia
You might notice your shoulders tense before you even arrive at a gathering. Maybe it’s the worry that someone’s kids were just sick, or the way your in-laws let little ones help cook without washing their hands.
Maybe it’s the fear that you’ll all get sick before the event and have to miss it — or that you’ll catch something while you’re there.
And once you’re home, your mind might keep spinning, wondering what germs were passed around and how long it will be before the next wave hits.
For some people with emetophobia, the fear becomes so consuming that the safest choice feels like not participating at all.
Some haven’t traveled home in years.
Some avoid gatherings they actually want to attend.
Some feel like their worry overshadows the joy their kids deserve.
And if you’ve ever gotten sick during the holidays or watched it happen to others, your brain stores that. It builds associations that sound like “this happened before, so it might happen again.”
That’s not a failure on your part. That’s how a fearful brain tries to prepare you: by imagining every worst-case scenario in advance.
But preparation and fear are not the same thing.
And fear doesn’t get to decide what this season means to you.
Something You May Need to Hear Right Now
You’ve gotten through so many winters already…including the hard ones.
Yes, maybe there was a year when your family was sick.
Maybe there was a trip that got derailed, or a holiday that felt stressful from start to finish.
But even then, you still made it through. You handled it. You adapted. You recovered.
Your fear will never give you credit for that — but you can.
It’s not about getting rid of fear altogether. It’s about reminding yourself that you’re capable, resourceful, and stronger than this fear wants you to believe.
You’ve proved that more times than you realize.
This Season Can Be an Opportunity — Even If It Doesn’t Feel Like One
Every holiday event you say yes to, every moment you show up for, every time you choose connection over avoidance — those are opportunities for exposure.
And with every exposure opportunity, you have a choice. You can choose to face it with a “bring it on” attitude or you can white knuckle your way through it.
But only one of those will actually move the needle in your recovery.
Instead of viewing this season as something you have to “survive,” you can choose to see it as:
an opportunity to be the parent or partner you want to be
a chance to reconnect with the parts of life you’ve missed
moments where you remind yourself you can tolerate discomfort
a step toward the life you want, not the life fear dictates
You don’t have to love every moment. You just need to keep moving toward the ones that matter.
Grounding Reminders for When Anxiety Gets Loud
1. No amount of worry will change the outcome.
You can think about every possible scenario and it still won’t give you more control.
If something happens, you will handle it then — the same way you have handled difficult moments before.
2. Set boundaries with reassurance-seeking.
This means not asking people for details about their recent illnesses, their symptoms, or their kids’ timelines. When someone casually mentions that their child “was sick last week,” you don’t need to ask follow-up questions. More information doesn’t create more comfort — it usually creates more anxiety.
3. Choose intentional exposures that align with your values.
Not overwhelming ones — just deliberate steps like:
staying at an event a little longer than you planned
eating food someone else prepared
letting your kids participate without constant correction
choosing not to clean or sanitize something immediately
These moments add up and build confidence.
4. Stay connected to why you care.
Fear tries to make everything about risk.
But this time of year is also about joy, connection, family, tradition, and meaning. So try to remember that you’re moving toward something — not just away from fear.
5. Progress doesn’t mean the fear disappears.
Fear may still show up. Background anxiety may still buzz. That doesn’t mean you aren’t growing. The goal is to turn down the volume, not eliminate it entirely. You can feel afraid and still move forward.
If You Tend to Avoid This Time of Year
Avoidance is your nervous system’s way of protecting you — it’s trying to keep you safe in the only way it knows how.
But avoidance also has a cost.
It limits your life. It keeps you from the moments you actually want. It shrinks your world.
This season might be an opportunity to take one step — even a small one — back into the things you value.
You don’t need to overhaul your entire holiday.
You just need to take the next meaningful step.
You can do that.
You’ve done harder things.
You Get to Choose What This Season Means for You
Fear will always suggest the safest option is to shut down, stay home, or prepare for the worst. But you get to decide whether that’s the only story you want to live by.
You can feel afraid and still show up.
You can participate in moments that matter to you.
You can have a holiday season that isn’t ruled by worst-case scenarios.
And each time you take a step toward the life you want, fear loses just a little bit of its power.
Want Support This Season for Emetophobia?
If emetophobia makes winter and the holidays overwhelming, support is available. At State of Mind Therapy in Bloomington, we help people understand their fear, build confidence, and take meaningful steps toward the lives they want to live.
You can start with a free 15-minute phone consultation.
We also offer an Emetophobia Therapy Group for adult women, which has been especially helpful during this season.
Should I Cancel My Flight? How to Move Through Panic When Every Part of You Wants to Back Out
If you’ve ever sat in the airport parking lot with your heart pounding and your mind begging you to turn around, you’re not the only one who’s been there.
And if you’ve ever wondered, “Should I just cancel?” — that moment is one of the hardest parts of flight anxiety.
A lot of people describe that moment in different ways, but the theme is always the same:
not being able to walk through the airport doors, freezing at the gate, or getting right up to boarding and feeling like your body is shutting down.
By the time you reach the airport, you’ve often spent days or even weeks thinking about the flight, imagining everything that could go wrong, and trying to brace yourself for it. So when you’re standing in front of the place where it all becomes real, your fear response kicks into high gear.
In that moment, the thought “Should I cancel?” feels urgent, reasonable, and protective.
But that urge is not a sign… it’s fear doing exactly what fear does.
My goal in this blog is to help you understand why this moment feels so overwhelming and show you how to move forward even when every alarm in your body is going off.
Why Your Brain Pushes You to Cancel at the Last Minute
When something feels threatening — being trapped, losing control, having a panic attack in public, not being able to escape — the nervous system flips into protection mode.
Your heart races.
Your muscles tense.
Your mind starts scanning for exits.
Your body tries to get you out of what it believes is danger.
This is your fear response doing its job…but a little too intensely.
And because these sensations feel so big, it’s easy to interpret them as a warning:
“If I feel this panicked now, imagine how bad it’ll be on the plane.”
“I can’t handle this for hours.”
“This panic won’t stop unless I leave.”
These thoughts feel like truth, but they’re not danger signals…they’re fear signals.
And fear tends to be a very dramatic storyteller.
The Fear That Stops People: “If I get on the plane, this panic won’t stop.”
This is the belief that convinces most people to back out.
I’ve worked with many people who have made it all the way to the jet bridge, felt that surge of panic, and turned around at the last second. It’s such a painful moment for them…the panic response is one thing. But the shame and remorse that follows hurts just as much.
The fear says:
“If I stay, this panic is just going to keep rising until something terrible happens.”
But here’s the part your nervous system forgets:
Panic always peaks.
And panic always comes down.
Your body cannot stay at that level forever. It physically can’t.
It feels endless — but it’s temporary.
What actually prolongs the fear is escaping from it.
Every time you get out of the line, off the plane, or away from the airport, your brain learns:
“That was the right call. That really was dangerous.”
Which only makes the next attempt feel harder.
Why Anticipatory Anxiety Makes Everything Feel Impossible
One big reason this moment feels so intense is because your brain assumes that how you feel right now is exactly how you’ll feel the whole flight.
But anxious brains are terrible at predicting the future.
You might think:
“If I’m shaking now, I’ll lose it at 30,000 feet.”
“If I feel trapped here, I’ll feel ten times worse in the air.”
“If panic is rising, that means I can’t handle being up there.”
But none of that is based on what actually happens. It’s based on a feeling.
And most fearful flyers actually feel more anxious before the flight than during it.
Once the anticipation drops and the plane settles into the routine of the flight, the nervous system usually quiets down.
You won’t know what the flight feels like until you’re on it — and anticipation is rarely an accurate predictor.
Play the Tape Forward (This Is One of the Most Helpful Tools You Can Use)
When panic hits, your brain zooms in on this moment only — the sweating, the shaking, the dread.
But decisions made in panic rarely take you where you want to go.
This is where “playing the tape forward” becomes powerful.
So ask yourself this, if you fly, how will you feel later when you land?
Most people say they feel proud, relieved, lighter, more capable, more free.
Now ask yourself, if you cancel, how will you feel on the drive home and the days following?
Most people would say they would feel ashamed, regret, frustration, disappointment, feeling stuck, wishing they had tried harder.
Something I often tell clients is:
“If you’re going to feel miserable either way, you might as well feel miserable on the plane — and still get where you want to go.”
The discomfort of anticipation is temporary.
The regret of canceling lasts much longer.
“How Do I Actually Move Forward When I Feel Frozen?”
When fear spikes, your brain focuses on the future and how long and terrible the flying experience will be.
”I’ll be in the plane for hours!”….”the plane will be bumpy”….”I will be stuck in the plane for hours with no option to leave!”
That’s overwhelming.
Instead, come back to one simple question: “what is the next best step I can take?”
Not the whole flight.
Not the whole experience.
Just the next thing.
…Right now, the next best step is packing my bag.
…Right now, the next best step is getting in the car.
…Right now, the next best step is walking into the airport.
…Right now, the next best step is sitting at the gate.
…you get the idea.
Fear loses power when you focus on the next best thing.
You don’t need to be calm. You just need to keep moving.
Reclaiming Your Agency: This Is a Choice You’re Making
When you’re afraid of flying, it can make you feel powerless. Like you have no choice and are just stuck (and for hours).
But you’re not.
You bought the ticket.
You chose the trip.
You want what’s waiting for you on the other side.
So when your mind says, “You can’t do this,” remind yourself:
“I chose this. I want this. I’m doing this for me.”
You Don’t Need Certainty to Board the Plane
One of the biggest myths anxious flyers believe is:
“I have to feel ready before I can fly.”
But readiness rarely comes first.
Willingness comes first.
Confidence comes second.
You don’t need certainty.
You don’t need to erase fear.
You don’t need to predict how the flight will go.
You only need enough willingness to take the next step. And you’ve done things while afraid your whole life.
Imagine the Moment You Step Off the Plane
You’re tired.
You’re relieved.
You’re proud.
Your world just got bigger.
This version of you already exists — your fear just tries to hide them.
And that version of you is absolutely capable of this.
Take one small step toward that version of you today.
If You Want Support Before Your Flight
Our Fearful Flyers Blueprint gives you step-by-step tools to handle:
anticipatory anxiety
panic on the plane
fear of being trapped
fear of losing control
fear of physical sensations
It’s the support I wish every anxious flyer had before their next trip.
👉 Enroll in the Fearful Flyers Blueprint
(Get the tools, strategies, and confidence you need for your next flight.)
[VIDEO] What You Need to Know About PANDAS/PANS?
In this video, you will learn:
-What is PANDAS/PANS?
-How PANDAS/PANS is diagnosed
-The difference between PANDAS or OCD
-Treating PANDAS/PANS medically and with psychotherapy
-Treating PANDAS/PANS with CBT and ERP (exposure and response prevention)
-Supporting families
Find an OCD Therapist at www.iocdf.org
Learn more about PANDAS/PANS at www.pandasnetwork.org