Should I Cancel My Flight? How to Move Through Panic When Every Part of You Wants to Back Out

If you’ve ever sat in the airport parking lot with your heart pounding and your mind begging you to turn around, you’re not the only one who’s been there.

And if you’ve ever wondered, “Should I just cancel?” — that moment is one of the hardest parts of flight anxiety.

A lot of people describe that moment in different ways, but the theme is always the same:
not being able to walk through the airport doors, freezing at the gate, or getting right up to boarding and feeling like your body is shutting down.

By the time you reach the airport, you’ve often spent days or even weeks thinking about the flight, imagining everything that could go wrong, and trying to brace yourself for it. So when you’re standing in front of the place where it all becomes real, your fear response kicks into high gear.

In that moment, the thought “Should I cancel?” feels urgent, reasonable, and protective.

But that urge is not a sign… it’s fear doing exactly what fear does.

My goal in this blog is to help you understand why this moment feels so overwhelming and show you how to move forward even when every alarm in your body is going off.

Why Your Brain Pushes You to Cancel at the Last Minute

When something feels threatening — being trapped, losing control, having a panic attack in public, not being able to escape — the nervous system flips into protection mode.

Your heart races.
Your muscles tense.
Your mind starts scanning for exits.
Your body tries to get you out of what it believes is danger.

This is your fear response doing its job…but a little too intensely.

And because these sensations feel so big, it’s easy to interpret them as a warning:

• “If I feel this panicked now, imagine how bad it’ll be on the plane.”
  
  

• “I can’t handle this for hours.”
  
  

• “This panic won’t stop unless I leave.”
  
  

These thoughts feel like truth, but they’re not danger signals…they’re fear signals.

And fear tends to be a very dramatic storyteller.

The Fear That Stops People: “If I get on the plane, this panic won’t stop.”

This is the belief that convinces most people to back out.

I’ve worked with many people who have made it all the way to the jet bridge, felt that surge of panic, and turned around at the last second. It’s such a painful moment for them…the panic response is one thing. But the shame and remorse that follows hurts just as much.

The fear says:

“If I stay, this panic is just going to keep rising until something terrible happens.”

But here’s the part your nervous system forgets:

Panic always peaks.
And panic always comes down.

Your body cannot stay at that level forever. It physically can’t.
It feels endless — but it’s temporary.

What actually prolongs the fear is escaping from it.

Every time you get out of the line, off the plane, or away from the airport, your brain learns:
“That was the right call. That really was dangerous.”

Which only makes the next attempt feel harder.

Why Anticipatory Anxiety Makes Everything Feel Impossible

One big reason this moment feels so intense is because your brain assumes that how you feel right now is exactly how you’ll feel the whole flight.

But anxious brains are terrible at predicting the future.

You might think:

• “If I’m shaking now, I’ll lose it at 30,000 feet.”
  
  

• “If I feel trapped here, I’ll feel ten times worse in the air.”
  
  

• “If panic is rising, that means I can’t handle being up there.”
  
  

But none of that is based on what actually happens. It’s based on a feeling.

And most fearful flyers actually feel more anxious before the flight than during it.

Once the anticipation drops and the plane settles into the routine of the flight, the nervous system usually quiets down.

You won’t know what the flight feels like until you’re on it — and anticipation is rarely an accurate predictor.

Play the Tape Forward (This Is One of the Most Helpful Tools You Can Use)

When panic hits, your brain zooms in on this moment only — the sweating, the shaking, the dread.

But decisions made in panic rarely take you where you want to go.

This is where “playing the tape forward” becomes powerful.

So ask yourself this, if you fly, how will you feel later when you land?

Most people say they feel proud, relieved, lighter, more capable, more free.

Now ask yourself, if you cancel, how will you feel on the drive home and the days following?

Most people would say they would feel ashamed, regret, frustration, disappointment, feeling stuck, wishing they had tried harder.

Something I often tell clients is:

“If you’re going to feel miserable either way, you might as well feel miserable on the plane — and still get where you want to go.”

The discomfort of anticipation is temporary.

The regret of canceling lasts much longer.

“How Do I Actually Move Forward When I Feel Frozen?”

When fear spikes, your brain focuses on the future and how long and terrible the flying experience will be.
”I’ll be in the plane for hours!”….”the plane will be bumpy”….”I will be stuck in the plane for hours with no option to leave!”

That’s overwhelming.

Instead, come back to one simple question: “what is the next best step I can take?”

Not the whole flight.
Not the whole experience.
Just the next thing.

…Right now, the next best step is packing my bag.

…Right now, the next best step is getting in the car.

…Right now, the next best step is walking into the airport.

…Right now, the next best step is sitting at the gate.

…you get the idea.

Fear loses power when you focus on the next best thing.

You don’t need to be calm. You just need to keep moving.

Reclaiming Your Agency: This Is a Choice You’re Making

When you’re afraid of flying, it can make you feel powerless. Like you have no choice and are just stuck (and for hours).

But you’re not.

You bought the ticket.
You chose the trip.
You want what’s waiting for you on the other side.

So when your mind says, “You can’t do this,” remind yourself:

“I chose this. I want this. I’m doing this for me.”

You Don’t Need Certainty to Board the Plane

One of the biggest myths anxious flyers believe is:

“I have to feel ready before I can fly.”

But readiness rarely comes first.
Willingness comes first.
Confidence comes second.

You don’t need certainty.
You don’t need to erase fear.
You don’t need to predict how the flight will go.

You only need enough willingness to take the next step. And you’ve done things while afraid your whole life.

Imagine the Moment You Step Off the Plane

You’re tired.
You’re relieved.
You’re proud.
Your world just got bigger.

This version of you already exists — your fear just tries to hide them.

And that version of you is absolutely capable of this.

Take one small step toward that version of you today.

If You Want Support Before Your Flight

Our Fearful Flyers Blueprint gives you step-by-step tools to handle:

• anticipatory anxiety
  
  

• panic on the plane
  
  

• fear of being trapped
  
  

• fear of losing control
  
  

• fear of physical sensations
  
  

It’s the support I wish every anxious flyer had before their next trip.

👉 Enroll in the Fearful Flyers Blueprint
(Get the tools, strategies, and confidence you need for your next flight.)