After a Rough Flight: When You’re Not Sure You Can Do It Again

You took the flight.

You got where you needed to go.

And instead of feeling relieved or proud, you feel exhausted. Discouraged. Maybe even a little defeated.

A lot of people who are anxious about flying will take a flight but have so much anxiety during it that they don’t know if they can keep doing it.

They might say “that was really hard…too hard.” Or “I don’t know if I can do that again.” or “Why does this feel like such a big deal for me?”

If that’s where you are right now, I see you. And keep reading to learn about how to not let your anxiety get the best of you when flying.

What People Usually Mean by a “Rough” Flight

When someone says they had a rough flight, they’re not always talking about the plane itself.

Sometimes the flight was turbulent.

Sometimes it was smooth.

What made it “rough” was the anxiety.

A rough flight might look like:

• Feeling panicked or on edge the entire time
  
  

• White-knuckling through takeoff, turbulence, or landing
  
  

• Constantly monitoring your body for signs of panic
  
  

• Crying quietly (or not so quietly)
  
  

• Feeling stuck on the tarmac and counting the minutes
  
  

• Never really relaxing for a second
  
  

From the outside, it may not have looked like you were struggling.

But on the inside, it was exhausting.

The Post-Flight Mental Spiral

After a rough flight, it’s very common for your mind to start spiraling.

Maybe you start thinking:

• “That was awful.”
  
  

• “I barely got through that.”
  
  

• “What if next time is even worse?”
  
  

• “I don’t think I can do that again.”
  
  

This is often the moment when anxiety starts telling a bigger story—one that goes beyond this flight and turns into questions about your future, your limits, or what this says about you.

That story can feel convincing, especially when you’re worn down.

Why Flying Again Doesn’t Always Make It Easier

Many people are surprised—and frustrated—to find that their fear of flying hasn’t improved, even though they’ve continued to take flights.

They’ll say things like,

“I’ve flown so many times. I’ve done exposure. And it never got better.”

What they’re usually describing isn’t exposure in a therapeutic sense—it’s endurance.

White-knuckling through flights, bracing for anxiety, monitoring every sensation, and just trying to “get through it” can absolutely prove that you can fly. But it doesn’t teach your nervous system that you can handle it.

In fact, when you endure a flight by staying on high alert the entire time, your body learns something very different:

This was dangerous, and I had to work extremely hard to survive it.

That’s why flying again doesn’t feel easier. You’re not failing at exposure—your nervous system just hasn’t had the chance to learn anything new yet.

Why White-Knuckling Leaves You Feeling Worse, Not Better

When you brace your way through a flight, you may get to your destination—but you also leave the experience feeling depleted.

You might logically know you “did it,” but you also know how miserable it felt.

For many people, that’s the real fear—not the plane itself, but the idea of having to endure hours of intense anxiety again, plus all the anticipatory anxiety leading up to it.

Enduring anxiety doesn’t build confidence.

It builds avoidance.

What a Rough Flight Does Not Mean

A rough flight does not mean:

• You’re back at square one
  
  

• You’ll always feel this way when you fly
  
  

• You’ve failed
  
  

• This anxiety will never change
  
  

It means your nervous system worked very hard—and it didn’t yet have the tools it needed to respond differently.

One difficult experience doesn’t define your future relationship with flying.

Using This Moment Differently

As uncomfortable as this moment is, it’s often an important one.

For many people, a rough flight is the point where they realize:

I don’t want this to keep controlling my life.

I want travel to feel different than this.

I might need more than willpower or white-knuckling.

That realization isn’t a failure. It’s information.

It can be the moment where the question shifts from “how do I force myself to get through this?” to “what do I need so this doesn’t have to feel this way next time?”

Everything about this is workable.

If You’ve Made Progress with Flying Anxiety Before

If flying has felt more manageable in the past and this flight felt especially hard, that doesn’t erase the progress you’ve made.

Flying is a unique fear because most people don’t do it often enough for confidence to build consistently. Old anxiety responses can resurface easily, especially after a stressful experience.

Setbacks happen. They’re part of the process—not proof that things aren’t working.

Closing Thought

If you’ve just had a rough flight and are feeling unsure about the future, this doesn’t mean you’re stuck like this forever.

It means your anxiety is asking for something different—different skills, different support, a different way of responding.

And that is possible.

If you want help learning how to change your relationship with flying anxiety—so future flights don’t have to feel this overwhelming—we invite you to work with us.

We help people learn how to fly with more peace and confidence through various ways, such as individual therapy, on demand courses, and in-person workshops to help you learn how to fly with more peace.