It’s Not the Plane: Why Flying Triggers the Fear of Being Trapped
Many people who struggle with flying anxiety will say something like:
“I’m not afraid of the plane.”
“I’m not scared of heights.”
“I know flying is safe.”
And they mean it.
What actually scares them is something else entirely.
It’s the fear of what might happen once they’re on the plane—and the fact that they can’t just get off if anxiety spikes.
What if I panic?
What if I have a medical emergency?
What if I need to escape and can’t?
For a lot of people, flying anxiety isn’t about fear of the plane crashing.
It’s about the fear of being trapped or stuck.
If claustrophobia is the main driver of your flight anxiety, I wrote more about this in depth here:
Overcoming Flight Anxiety When Claustrophobia Takes Control
Why the Word “Trapped” Makes Everything Feel Worse
Let’s start with the power of the word, “trapped”, for a moment.
Trapped is a powerful, anxiety-producing word. It implies:
No control
No choice
No way out
And honestly, who would feel okay being “trapped”? Of course your nervous system reacts strongly to that idea.
The problem is that anxiety often uses emergency language to describe situations that are uncomfortable, but not actually dangerous.
Just like the term panic attack makes it sound like something is attacking you—when in reality it’s a surge of adrenaline—the word trapped exaggerates what’s happening on a plane.
You’re not actually trapped.
You’re temporarily in a contained space.
You don’t have immediate exit.
You’ve committed to being on a flight for a period of time.
Those may not feel pleasant—but they’re very different from being trapped.
The Scary Story Anxiety Tells You
Here’s a reframe that I often share with my clients:
You’re not afraid of flying. You’re afraid of the scary story your anxiety tells you about being trapped.
That story usually sounds something like:
“What if I panic and lose control?”
“What if I can’t handle the sensations?”
“What if I need to get off and can’t?”
“What if something happens and I’m stuck?”
Once that story starts playing, your brain reacts as if the threat is imminent—even though nothing is actually going wrong in the present moment.
So your heart races. Your chest tightens. Your thoughts speed up. And that physical reaction makes the story feel even more real.
It’s Not About Escape — It’s About Trusting Yourself
When people say they’re afraid of being trapped, what they’re often really afraid of is this:
“I don’t trust myself to handle my anxiety if it shows up.”
The desire to escape isn’t about leaving the plane—it’s about wanting relief.
Relief from:
Panic sensations
Fear
Uncertainty
Loss of control
Flying removes the option of immediate escape, and anxiety doesn’t like that. It wants certainty and control. It wants an exit plan. It wants to know that if things get uncomfortable, you can leave.
But needing certainty in order to feel safe is the trap.
You’re Not Trapped — You’re a Willing Passenger
This is another language shift that can be surprisingly grounding.
You didn’t end up on a plane against your will (hopefully).
You chose to book the flight.
You paid for the ticket.
You want to go somewhere.
You are a willing passenger in a vehicle that’s taking you where you want or need to go.
That doesn’t mean anxiety won’t show up. It means you’re not powerless—even if anxiety tries to tell you otherwise.
Restoring this sense of agency matters. Anxiety thrives when situations are framed as something happening to you, rather than something you’re choosing to move through.
Why Flying Intensifies This Fear
Flying combines several triggers that anxiety is especially sensitive to:
Physical containment
Uncertainty
Sensations you can’t control
Social pressure to “stay put”
The Role of Safety Behaviors (And Why They Backfire)
When anxiety tells you you’re trapped, it pushes you to regain control in whatever ways it can.
That might look like:
Sitting in a specific seat
Monitoring flight attendants closely (“are the doors still open!?)
Constantly checking how you feel
White-knuckling the flight
Needing reassurance to feel okay
Some advice even suggests things like meeting the pilot to feel safe.
And while that might feel reassuring in the moment, it teaches your brain an unhelpful lesson:
“I can only tolerate this if I get reassurance.”
What happens if you don’t get to meet the pilot? What if they don’t look as competent or experienced as you hoped?
Anxiety will always ask for more certainty.
The goal isn’t to eliminate fear by controlling every variable—it’s to reduce the belief that you need certainty in order to be okay.
The Real Work: Learning to Stay Without Escaping
This is where meaningful change happens. It doesn’t include magically erasing anxiety and it’s also not by convincing yourself nothing bad will happen.
But the real work includes slowly learning that:
Anxiety can rise and fall without you escaping
Discomfort is temporary
You don’t need total control to be safe
What Progress Actually Looks Like
So how long does it take to overcome your fear of flying? The brutal truth is that it depends. And it takes time. If anyone tries to sell you on a quick fix, then run.
But that doesn’t mean progress can’t happen quickly.
I’ve had clients who took a flight two weeks after working with me and found drastic improvement. But let me be clear, progress doesn’t mean flying without anxiety.
Progress often looks like:
Feeling anxious and staying anyway
Letting panic sensations be there without urgently fixing them
Using fewer safety behaviors
Trusting yourself a little more each time
Closing Thoughts
Fear of flying is rarely about the plane.
It’s about the meaning anxiety assigns to being “stuck,” the language it uses to describe discomfort, and the belief that you can’t handle what might come up.
When you begin to change that relationship—to fear, to control, to uncertainty—the experience of flying can start to shift.
And if this pattern feels familiar or overwhelming, working with a therapist trained in evidence-based approaches can help you practice staying with discomfort instead of needing to escape it.
If you need help with your fear of flying, State of Mind Therapy can help in a number of ways. We can work with you individually, you can take an on-demand course, or you join us at one of our in-person workshops at the MSP Airport.