How to Stop Reinforcing Anxiety: Practical Ways to Reduce Safety Behaviors

When you live with anxiety, it’s easy to fall into habits that feel protective.

You might check your body for symptoms of a medical condition or illness. Or maybe you avoid certain places or situations like sitting in the middle row at the movie theater. Or you find yourself always asking others if you’ll be ok.

These habits—called safety behaviors—can make you feel safe and more in control in the moment.

But the thing is, these behaviors backfire. 

The more we rely on safety behaviors, the more anxiety sticks around.

Your goal isn’t to get rid of anxiety completely. It’s to stop reinforcing the cycle. 

And that starts with understanding what safety behaviors are—and how to begin reducing them over time so that you can build confidence in yourself and create new beliefs about your ability to handle hard things. 

What Are Safety Behaviors?

Safety behaviors are anything we do to:

• prevent a feared outcome

• reduce anxiety quickly

• or create a sense of certainty

Safety behaviors can show up in different ways:

• Always carrying a water bottle with you in case you get hot or nauseous 

• Having to do research in advance of where you are going or what you are doing 

• Always carrying medication “just in case”

• Sitting in a specific seat on an airplane 

For example:

• Someone with emetophobia might always carry gum, mints, or water in case of experiencing nausea 

• Someone with health anxiety might constantly check symptoms or seek multiple consultations 

• Someone with panic disorder might avoid caffeine or traveling too far away from home

All of these have one thing in common. They bring short-term relief. And that’s exactly why they stick.

Why Safety Behaviors Keep Anxiety Going

Every time you use a safety behavior, your brain learns something. And if you used something like a safety behavior, it will give the credit to the safety behavior instead of you. 

And over time:

• You lose confidence in your ability to handle situations without these safety behaviors

• Your list of safety behaviors grows

• Your world gets smaller

What starts as “just in case” becomes “I can’t handle this without it” over time. 

Why Reducing Safety Behaviors Works (Even When It Feels Hard)

When you start reducing safety behaviors, your brain gets new evidence:

“I felt anxious—and I was okay.”

“I didn’t check—and nothing bad happened.”

“I handled uncertainty.”

That’s how the power of anxiety changes over time. Not through endless reassurance, making yourself calm, or deep breathing. But through experience.

This is the foundation of evidence-based approaches like CBT and ERP—and it’s what actually helps anxiety lose its grip.

Step 1: Identify Your Safety Behaviors

Start with awareness.

Ask yourself:

• What do I do to feel safe or certain?

• What do I avoid?

• What do I check or repeat?

You might notice patterns like:

• Checking your body, symptoms, or surroundings

• Cleaning, organizing, or controlling your environment

• Seeking reassurance from others or online

• Avoiding discomfort entirely

Then ask:

• What am I afraid will happen if I don’t do this?

• What do I feel right after I do it?

If skipping it creates anxiety—and doing it brings relief—it’s likely a safety behavior.

Step 2: Choose One Small Target

You don’t need to eliminate these behaviors all at once. In fact, trying to do too much too quickly usually backfires.

Instead, pick one safety behavior.

For example:

• Wait a few minutes before checking

• Skip asking for reassurance once

• Stay in a situation slightly longer than usual

• Touch something you normally avoid

Step 3: Use the “Delay Technique”

When the urge hits, don’t fight it or immediately give in. Delay it.

Tell yourself:

“This is an urge, not an emergency.”

“I can feel uncomfortable for a few minutes.”

Start small:

• 1–2 minutes

• then build to 5–10 minutes

What you’ll notice over time is that urges rise…and then fall. You don’t actually need to act on them.

Step 4: Do It Anyway (Small Exposure Builds Confidence)

Sometimes the most powerful move is simple…do the thing anxiety tells you not to do.

• Eat the food

• Stay in the situation

• Skip the check

• Share the drink

• Don’t Google the symptom

Practicing facing your fear over and over again without the use of safety behaviors will not be a quick fix (or an easy one). But the work pays off when you are consistent. 

Because each time you do this, your brain learns “discomfort isn’t danger.” And confidence builds from there.

Step 5: Challenge the “Rational” Story

Anxiety is good at sounding logical. You might think, “it’s not harming anything” or “I’ll bring it just in case.” And sometimes—that’s true.

But here’s the key question:

Is this about safety… or about anxiety?

Try asking yourself:

• Would I tell a friend this is necessary?

• What would happen if I didn’t do this?

• Am I trying to feel better—or be in control?

You can even respond directly to your anxiety:

“Nice try. I don’t need to do that” or “We’re doing something different now.”

A little attitude back to anxiety goes a long way.

Step 6: Know the Difference Between Comfort and Safety

Not all coping is a problem. Sometimes the comfort and coping skills you use are helping you stay present.

• grounding

• slow breathing

• holding a fidget

• listening to music

That’s different from behaviors you need to feel okay.If skipping something would spike your anxiety significantly, it may be acting as a safety behavior.

The goal isn’t to remove all comfort. It’s to remove dependence.

Step 7: Expect Setbacks (They’re Part of Progress)

You will slip back into old patterns sometimes. That doesn’t mean you will be stuck back at square one. Setbacks are part of the process.

What matters is:

• noticing it

• interrupting it sooner

• trying again

Every time you choose discomfort over avoidance, you’re building something important:

confidence in your ability to handle uncertainty.

What Progress Actually Looks Like

Progress isn’t feeling calm all the time.

It might look like:

• Catching yourself mid-check

• Delaying a behavior instead of immediately doing it

• Staying in situations longer

• Thinking about your fear less—or recovering faster

These are real, meaningful shifts. And they add up, like pennies in the bank over time. 

Ready for Support?

If anxiety is still running the show, you don’t have to figure this out on your own.

At State of Mind Therapy, we use evidence-based approaches like CBT, ERP, and ACT to help you reduce safety behaviors and build real confidence.