Have you ever felt like your anxiety is taking control of your life? The constant worry, the sleepless nights, and the overwhelming fear of reaching out for help can be paralyzing. You might find yourself stuck, unable to move forward, and wondering if you’re the only one feeling this way.

You’re not alone.

Years ago, I struggled with anxiety and panic. Now, on the other side of that struggle, I've realized that some of the things I was doing were actually stalling my progress. I want to share my experiences with you so that you don’t prolong your suffering like I did.

In this blog, you’ll discover the seven biggest mistakes I made while dealing with anxiety and how you can avoid them. By learning from my experiences, you can take steps towards a healthier, more fulfilling life.

1. Hiding My Anxiety from Others

The feeling of anxiety began to dominate my life once it became chronic. I didn’t want anyone to know that I had an anxiety disorder because I had created a narrative in my head about who I was and how I wanted to be seen by others. The fear of being rejected by society and possibly ruining my reputation led me to keep the anxiety my dirty little secret, which ultimately made my anxiety even worse.

2. Assuming That Always “Pushing Through” Anxiety Was the Solution

I believed that pushing through my anxiety would eventually get me out of it. I avoided crucial self-care, thinking that taking time to rest was lazy.

But the truth is, we all need moments to “rest and digest.” Our parasympathetic nervous system needs a break so our nerves can rest.

3. Spending Excessive Time Researching Anxiety

I became obsessed with solving my anxiety problem by consuming every book, blog, YouTube video, and podcast I could find.

However, I learned the hard way that while our minds are excellent at solving external problems, they are terrible at solving their own issues.

4. Engaging in Reassurance Seeking

Reassurance seeking is a classic symptom of anxiety. I often asked my wife for reassurance, which provided short-term relief but never helped in the long run.

Questions like, “Did I damage my nervous system beyond repair?” always returned, even after her reassurances.

Excessive reassurance seeking behavior for every worry can strain relationships and mute anxiety..but only temporarily because it was never enough. Anxiety always wanted more.

5. Framing Anxiety as the Enemy to Conquer

When I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), Social Anxiety, and Panic Disorder, I viewed anxiety as an enemy to conquer.

I visualized myself defeating it, which provided temporary relief, but the anxiety always came back stronger.

6. Engaging in Pseudo-Science Practices

In the beginning, I tried to treat my anxiety with “antidotes” found on the internet.

I fell into the trap of pseudo-science practices like “The Law of Attraction,” believing that meditation alone could cure me.

Let me save you some time—those methods don’t work. What did work? Following research backed methods like ACT, CBT, and ERP.

7. Avoiding Activities Until I Was “Cured”

I avoided people and activities I used to enjoy, thinking I needed to be “cured” first. This only made my life smaller, less joyful, and more anxiety-ridden.

Taking the First Step

I know first hand how hard it can be to live with anxiety, but recovery is possible. If you want help untangling from anxiety, schedule a free 15 minute phone consultation to get started.

Written by Justin Matthews, LGSW