So, it’s illness season. And you’re terrified. Maybe you’re avoiding gatherings or public places. Maybe you’re washing your hands until they bleed.

If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. A lot of my clients come to me and ask, “But Jenny, doesn’t it make sense to avoid these situations when there’s a real threat of getting sick or an outbreak of illness?”

That’s exactly what we’re diving into today.

What’s the Cost of Avoidance?

Yes, the risk of getting sick may be higher right now, and your anxiety or OCD might be screaming at you to stay home. But before you make that call, I want you to pause and ask yourself: At what cost?

• Who does this benefit? You, or the anxiety monster?

• Who does this hurt? You? Your children? Your relationships?

Think back to a time when you canceled plans to attend a party because of the possibility of getting sick. Sure, you may have felt temporary relief—phew, glad I dodged that one—but what did you miss out on?

You likely missed the connection with your friends and family. The shared laughter, the stories, the chance to be part of something meaningful. Maybe you even missed moments your kids will talk about for years, memories you could have been part of.

Yes, getting sick is unpleasant and inconvenient, but is avoiding that possibility (key word here is “possibility”-not guarantee!) worth giving up all the other beautiful things life has to offer?

Here’s the thing: there’s no right or wrong answer here. You get to decide how cautious you want to be. But let me ask you this:

• If you weren’t afraid of illness, how would you be living your life?

Anxiety loves black-and-white thinking—it convinces you that staying home is “safe” and going out is “dangerous.” But life isn’t black and white. It’s messy, full of gray areas. So instead of searching for the perfect answer, I encourage you to practice flexibility. What small step can you take today to prioritize connection over avoidance?

You might surprise yourself with how capable you are.

When Does Avoidance Make Sense?

There are absolutely times when staying home is the best choice—whether for your health, your priorities, or your values. But here’s the key: it’s important to know the difference between a decision rooted in facts and one fueled by fear.

Start by asking yourself:

• Am I avoiding this situation because it aligns with my values and goals, or because fear is calling the shots?

• If I weren’t feeling anxious, would I still make this choice?

Now, let’s get real—are you considering avoiding this situation because it’s truly the best option for you right now, or because it feels easier to give in to anxiety? Fear is sneaky, and it’s not always clear. That’s why it’s so important to be brutally honest with yourself.

Here’s an example:

• It might make perfect sense to send someone else to pick up groceries if you’re swamped at work or feeling under the weather.

• But it’s likely a fear-based choice if you’re avoiding the store altogether during flu season simply because you’re worried about touching shared surfaces or being near other people—even when there’s no real evidence of a high risk.

Here’s the truth: fear thrives on avoidance. The more you avoid, the bigger and scarier the fear becomes. Every time you choose avoidance over action, you reinforce anxiety’s grip on your life.

So, instead of letting fear make the call, take a moment to reflect. Is this decision coming from a place of flexibility and self-care, or is it being dictated by anxiety? Choosing action—even in small, manageable steps—helps shrink fear’s influence and builds confidence over time.

Rewriting the Story: You Can Handle It

One of the most common and unhelpful beliefs tied to fears of illness is the thought, “I wouldn’t be able to handle it.”

Let’s rewrite that story. Even if you don’t fully believe you can handle getting sick right now, you can start telling yourself a different narrative. It might sound like this:

“I’m not able to handle getting sick yet, but I’m working on it.”

Think about it like starting a new job. You didn’t know everyone on your first day, and you weren’t 100% sure you’d be good at it. But if you had a supportive supervisor, they believed in you, cheered you on, and encouraged you.

Your boss didn’t know for certain you’d succeed, but they rooted for you anyway. Now imagine the opposite—if your boss constantly doubted you or put you down, how miserable would that experience have been?

Here’s the thing: you get to be the boss of your inner dialogue. Are you going to be the boss that builds you up, or the one that tears you down? Start showing yourself some belief, even if it feels uncomfortable at first. Confidence grows from action, and you might just surprise yourself with what you can handle.

Fake It ’Til You Make It—For Now

This is where “fake it ’til you make it” comes into play. No, you don’t have to fully believe you can handle illness right now. But start acting like you can.

Changing your thoughts is a great goal, but let’s be honest: thoughts don’t always cooperate. What you can control is your behavior.

And here’s the good news: when your behavior changes, your thoughts will follow. Start by showing yourself you can handle more than your fear is telling you.

The Big Takeaway

Illness season doesn’t have to mean fear season. Yes, it’s okay to be cautious. But it’s also okay to step out of fear’s grip and live your life in a way that aligns with your values.

Remember:

• Ask yourself who your actions are serving—fear or your true self?

• Practice flexibility instead of looking for black-and-white answers.

• Start rewriting the story by showing yourself you’re more capable than you think.

You’ve got this.

Getting help with anxiety around illness

If illness season has you feeling stuck in fear, we can help. Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation to explore how our therapists at State of Mind Therapy can help you regain control, build confidence, and face this season with less anxiety.