Feeling Overwhelmed by the Fear of Seeking Help?

You might be thinking…..“I know I need to get help, but my fear, anxiety, and ego won’t let me.”

Does this sound familiar? You’ve done your research and identified a few providers who might be a good fit for your mental health concerns. But now, you find yourself staring at your phone, desperate for the conversation to be over before it even begins.

The fear of calling makes it impossible to commit. You visualize yourself freezing up, unable to get the words out, or losing control and sounding foolish.

Perhaps your ego stops you from admitting you need help, screaming, “Don’t be such a pansy! Man up! There are people starving in Africa, and you’re whining about your anxiety?”

You’re Not Alone

I have good news for you: you’re not crazy; you’re human.

Many of us, especially men, are terrified of making that initial phone call to seek help. Our minds excel at manufacturing automatic thoughts such as, “I can’t believe it’s come to this,” or “I used to be so normal, how could this happen to me?”

These thoughts saturate our brains, leading to resistance. Additionally, despite significant progress, mental health stigma still exists, particularly in the U.S., which can further hinder seeking therapy.

My Personal Journey with Overcoming Anxiety to Call a Therapist

In the beginning stages of my anxiety journey, I remember the day I was ready to make an appointment for therapy after trying to “treat” myself for two years.

I had a therapist in mind, but the fear of freezing up and not being able to articulate my issues kept me from making the call.

This fear fueled my anxiety and avoidance for weeks. Finally, I decided enough was enough.

Here’s how I overcame this obstacle:

Making the Call to A Therapist: Steps to Overcome Anxiety and OCD

1. Accept discomfort

• Acknowledge Your Fear: Accept that you’re feeling anxious and that it’s okay. Give your anxiety and fear the space they need without judgment.

• Commit to the Call: Decide that, regardless of how the conversation goes, you will be okay. This mindset helps reduce the pressure to be perfect.

2. Prepare Yourself

• Write Down Key Points: Outline what you want to say to the therapist. This can include your symptoms, how long you’ve been experiencing them, and what you hope to achieve through therapy.

• Practice: If you’re nervous, practice saying these points out loud. This can help you feel more confident and less likely to freeze up.

3. Dial the Number

• Start the Call: The most challenging part is starting. Once you dial the number, the hardest part is over.

• Begin the Conversation: Your fear will likely be most intense before the call, but once you start talking, it will diminish. You may feel anxious, but it will ebb and flow.

4. Stay Calm During the Call

• Breathe and Speak Slowly: Take deep breaths to calm your nerves and speak slowly to articulate your thoughts clearly.

• Focus on the Goal: Remember why you’re making the call—to get help. Keep this goal in mind to motivate you through the conversation.

5. Reflect and Celebrate After the Call

• Reflect on the Experience: Notice how you feel. Most likely, you’ll find that the fear was more intense before the call and has lessened now that you’ve taken action.

• Celebrate Your Courage: Acknowledge that you took a brave step toward improving your mental health. This is a significant achievement.

Take the First Step Today

Making that initial call to seek help for your mental health is daunting, but it’s a crucial step towards recovery. Remember, it’s normal to feel anxious about it. Your fear will likely diminish once you begin the conversation.

So, make the call. Do it for yourself. You are worth it.

Written by Justin Matthews, LGSW

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