For years, flying terrified me. Just talking about booking a flight would make me shake, lose my appetite, and feel physically sick. I still pushed myself to get on planes, but I was miserable the entire time.

I tried everything to "trick" myself into feeling comfortable—pretending I wasn’t really on a plane, drinking alcohol, white-knuckling my way through takeoff. But no matter what I did, the fear always crept back in.

Now? I don’t need to prepare at all. Sure, if I haven’t flown in a while, I might still get a stomach ache—but I don’t have the scary thoughts anymore.

So how did I get here? These are the 10 biggest lessons I learned along the way.

1. Avoiding Anxiety Only Makes It Worse

For years, I treated anxiety like something I had to fight off or eliminate. If I could just “fix” it, then I’d finally feel comfortable flying.

But the truth? The more effort I put into avoiding anxiety, the worse it got.

The game-changer for me was learning to allow my anxious feelings instead of battling them. Instead of telling myself, "I shouldn’t feel this way," I started saying, "I can feel anxious and still handle this."

2. You Don’t Have to Feel 100% Ready—Action Comes First

I used to wait for the right time to fly. But here’s the thing—there is no right time.

If you’re waiting for your anxiety to magically disappear before you book a flight, you might be waiting forever. I had to make a decision: Do I want to keep letting fear control my life, or do I want to take action despite it?

Progress comes from doing, not waiting. The sooner you start taking small steps, the sooner flying will feel easier.

3. White-Knuckling It Won’t Help—You Have to Change Your Mindset

I kept pushing myself to fly, thinking repeated exposure alone would fix the fear. But because I was still white-knuckling it, I never really felt better.

I spent entire flights drinking alcohol, studying the flight attendants' faces for signs of worry, and gripping the armrest through turbulence. Sure, I made it through the flights, but my brain was still reinforcing the message that flying was dangerous.

Real progress happened when I stopped gripping onto every coping mechanism and started truly believing I could handle the discomfort.

4. Your Body Will React—And That’s Okay

Before, my body would panic before my mind even had a chance to. I’d feel nauseous, my appetite would disappear, and my heart would race.

I used to take motion sickness meds just to get through it. Now, if I need them, I’ll take them—but I also make sure I eat, drink water, and take care of my body.

I know that if I don’t fuel myself properly, my symptoms will get way worse. Even when I don’t feel like eating, I’ll have small sips of water, crackers, applesauce—whatever I can tolerate.

5. If You Treat Flying Like a Life-Or-Death Event, Of Course You’ll Be Anxious

I used to prepare for flights like I was preparing for my funeral.

I’d update my will, say dramatic goodbyes to my kids, and act like I might not come back. And guess what? That only made my anxiety 10x worse.

Now, I treat flying like any other day. I don’t make it a big deal, because it isn’t.

6. Understanding Flight Safety Helps Correct the Stories in Your Head

I used to panic over every bump, noise, and sensation. My brain constantly asked:
❓ Was that normal?
❓ Is something wrong?
❓ Should I be worried?

Now? I know enough about aviation to understand what’s normal. That knowledge helps shut down my brain’s habit of making up scary stories.

For some people, learning about how planes work can be a game-changer in overcoming fear. For me, I got some of that education through my husband (who worked in aviation), but what helped even more was continuing to fly and applying the mindset shift and tools I learned as an anxiety specialist (yep-I practice what I preach). 

7. Distraction Helps—But Only If You Let It

In the past, I couldn’t even give myself permission to watch a show on a plane. I felt like I had to be on high alert at all times.

Now, I let myself engage in things that make the flight go by faster. Watching a familiar, lighthearted show is my go-to.

But here’s the key: Distraction is different from avoidance.
✔ Mindful distraction = Keeping yourself engaged with something positive.
❌ Avoidance distraction = Trying to “block out” the experience (which doesn’t work).

8. The Fear Fades When You Stop Engaging With It

The biggest difference today? I don’t fear flying anymore.

I still get some physical anxiety symptoms, but I don’t engage with them. I recognize it as just my old fight-or-flight response trying to "warn" me.

The moment I stopped analyzing every anxious sensation and just let it come and go, I realized… I didn’t need to be afraid of it anymore.

9. Progress Doesn’t Happen Overnight—But It’s 100% Possible

If you had told me 10 years ago that I’d one day fly without fear, no alcohol, no medication, no over-preparing—I wouldn’t have believed you.

But here I am. Not because I’m lucky, but because I put in the work.

Flight anxiety is so incredibly treatable. It takes practice and consistent effort, but it’s worth it. You don’t have to be an anxious flyer forever.

10. The First Step Is Just Deciding Enough Is Enough

The only way out of flight anxiety is through it.

If you’re waiting for the perfect time to start working on it… you’ll be waiting forever.

There is no magic formula. You just have to decide:
I’m done letting fear control me.

The first step? Start consuming content about evidence-based treatment for flight anxiety. Learn what actually works. If you’re ready for a structured approach, I created a course that walks you through every step of the process.

Want a Step-By-Step Plan to Conquer Flight Anxiety?

Join the Fearful Flyer’s Blueprint Course—where I teach you the exact mindset shifts and strategies I used to go from anxious flyer to confident traveler.

Click here to get started!